#muse (izzy)

❝Oh, fuck off twat.❞ Izzy glares at Ed when he made that little comment, but just like Ed, he doesn't really mean it, he even suppresses a smile. Last few days have been like Izzy is in a dream. Nothing quite feels real. He is being taken care of, he is resting, he still feels weak, disoriented. Perhaps it feels strange because it's the first time that Izzy had been so close to death, perhaps it's because people seem to actually want to make sure he is not just alive, but feeling comfortable too. He isn't sure if it is going to last and he is not going to admit that a part of him likes this attention, even though it sometimes makes him feel like he is useless.

@clochanam

❝I'm fine, fuck off.❞ Izzy dismisses her quickly, breath sharp, hands coiling into fists so they wouldn't shake. This isn't just about Ed and how Izzy knows that locking the damn door would only make things worse if Ed really wanted to come here — or he supposes, he could get bored and leave — it's about how he shouldn't look weak in front of the crew. They already have a lot to deal with, they have to find a way to survive this situation Izzy had created. They didn't need to have to take care of Izzy too, like he was a fucking child. They were like children, in the different sense of the word — they were innocent, caught up in something they didn't sign up for, something they didn't have the power to react to. Something they were terrified of. Something Izzy should protect them from, even though he is proven to be so fucking useless. And instead of them wishing Izzy was killed in one of those raids... they seemed to want to make sure he was okay every single time he got out of Blackbeard's quarters. And now... Aisling... this. ❝Why don't you fuckin' hate me?❞ he asks before he could stop himself.

@clochanam

It is still overwhelming, seeing the crew caring about him. He still has a hard time fully believing it. That he deserves their love, not hate. But he is getting closer and closer to it, day by day.

@fxckin-blackbeard

Edward didn't need to tell him to kill it, Izzy knew the moment he saw that look on his face. He sighs ❝Alright, Ed. Calm down.❞ Izzy makes a motion for Ed to stay back, not that he really needs to, this is an enemy that only Izzy can face.

clearing inbox challenge @tatteredxsails

clearing inbox challenge @pyratezlife

❝Fuck off, Ed.❞ Izzy murmured after a long moment of silence, not knowing how to respond to this. When did Ed care about Izzy? When did he bother thinking about Izzy taking care of himself? Izzy had no idea how to even do that. He took care of himself in a sense that... he stayed alive, healthy enough to fight. Nothing more. He only recently found out that there was even "more".

clearing inbox challenge @tatteredxsails

❝Probationary period.❞ Izzy made a noise that perhaps could be interpreted as chuckling. It was certainly an interesting thing to call wearing a sack and a bell, as if Blackbeard couldn't fire a gun in such outfit. As if he couldn't cut someone's toes off. ❝Working for who, Bonnet? You or the crew?❞ With the crew, Izzy pretended that everything was fine. He had to, otherwise they would have never agreed to Ed's return. For some reason, they all waited for his approval before they agreed. That didn't mean they felt safe. It didn't mean that they didn't make sure that Izzy was never alone with Edward, always someone eyeing them and the moment Ed did something, they'd throw a knife at him. It was... overwhelming, the way they seemed to be protective of Izzy now and he couldn't understand it. Nor he could understand why Bonnet seemed to want him around, how he didn't agree with him that it was nothing much... although perhaps that was for the crew's sake and not because he cared about him.But he couldn't think about it at the moment. Or at all, really. He wasn't used to feeling loved. How pathetic that was?