#murphy.txt

leorio: ...excuse me??

ging: what u mean lol Tryin to make a change :-\

leorio: do you have a signature on your texts or something?

ging: yea Tryin to make a change :-\

leorio: how old are you??

hes really really easily excitable but also extremely easily let down. He builds up his expectations p much sky high only to be let down to the point of suicidal idealization when it not only doesn't go the way he thought, but ten times worse (he expected to go to every party that was thrown and make a ton of new friends only to end up in a several month long depressive episode when he wasn't invited to any at all),,, eventually he learned to be numb instead of excitable to avoid major disappointment,, his stomach still drops every time things don/t go as planned

on that note when he’s excited and manic and feeling good he’s actually a Big Time Talker,,, when he was young he was the annoying and obnoxious kid nobody wanted to invite over to play. He has to learn to reign it in becus he can see when people shift from ‘listening politely’ to ‘annoyed and waiting for him to shut up’,,, it a big reason he doesn't reach out and talk to anyone anymore becus hes scared he’ll talk too much and just all around be too much for people 

he cries, a lot,,,, like A LOT. he can spend literal days on end crying and be so congested he cant smoke and then he cries even more when he cant smoke. a horrible cycle. hes very very much an angry crier too,, he can’t start yelling with tears and shaky voice, its hard to watch 

on THAT note also his episodes are. so fucking much lmao,,, when he gets triggered and starts freaking out he first just raises his voice,, then he starts tearing up,, then his thoughts are moving too fast for him to speak properly so hes just saying garbled chopped up sentences,, and finally hes so overwhelmed he starts hitting and breaking things just to find some sort of tension release (he needs glasses actually but now wears contacts due to how many times hes broken his glasses becus they were the closest thing to him) 

he’s a rapid cycler,,,, he can be manic or depressive multiple times in the same day, you never know what to expect from or what kind of reaction you might get from him,, tired an apathetic, angry and irritable, sad and melancholy, happy and excitable (rare nowadays),,, you just never know

his psychosis is really really bad but mostly manifests itself in delusions rather than hallucinations,,, he’s paranoid everyone is staring at him, judging him, plotting how best to get him overwhelmed so everyone can see what a freak he is. (The Big Fight with zoe was when he couldn't find his journal and assumed she had taken to show to everyone at school so they could make fun of him,, he banged on her door screaming he’d kill her if she showed anybody only to be told hours later after some forced isolation that larry and cynthia took it becus they were worried about him,,,,, he never wrote in a journal again)