#mummymonkey

Danny is 8 weeks today. He sleeps through the night and is happy and smiley and lovely when awake. He's over 10lbs now.

Jamie is an amazing big sister and adours him. She's started a play therapy session at school to help with her self confidence and the negative thoughts.

Boyfriend is killing it with his promotion. But always shattered when he gets home. And being a truly brilliant dad.

I've got in to a routine at home now and am starting to settle as a mum of 2. Breastfeeding is going well.

3 big feeds on boob, 1 comfort feed on boob, 2 breast milk from bottle, 2 formula from bottle and 1 tiny formula top up.

I'm happy with that. If I can keep that going I'll be happy with it and I'll know that my mental health isn't going to suffer for it.

Gotta get my right boob working as hard as my left though.

Boyfriend is brilliant. He's working lots of extra hours atm but still making sure he's here to read with J and be there at bedtime. He's busy but working hard to make sure he maintains the brilliant connection amd bond he's built with her. I love that.

He's also making sure he gives me lits.of attention as I've been a bit of a needy, weepy hormonal mess. 2 weeks left until baby boy is here. Hormones were bound to get to me eventually. The heat, so different for the uk, hasn't helped. He's been very understanding though I'm sure I must have been annoying.

Baby boy is measuring a week ahead still. He's head down but still not engaged. And currently is neither back to back nor back to front. He's back to side. Which explains why I've been feeling movement absolutely everywhere. Butt, back and head one side of my bump, all his limbs the other. He stretches and I feel it both sides. J was back to front almost the whole time so her movements were a lot more contained to certain spots. His are not.

It was Jamie-Lou's birthday friday. She's 8 and facebook decided to show me a picture of her as a newborn. I cried. Quite a bit. She's so big now. And she's matured so much over the last few months. Especially now myself, my partner and the school are on top of her confidence issues. She's all signed up for the self esteem club and play therapy will start in the next school year.

I do expect a bit of a regression with both maturity and confidence once baby boy is here at first. I've seen signs already with a bit of an attitude and refusal to listen and a slight recurrence in saying negative things about herself at the slightest mistake. It's to be expected though. 8 years of being an only child to being a big sister is a big change. I know we'll figure it out together though and boyfriend thinks once she's over the jealousy her confidence and that will improve even beyond how much it already has.

For her bday shopping trip I was really surprised. She barely chose any toys and instead has started buying things more pre-teen aimed. It was sweet seeing her get so excited over buying herself big girl things but again, seeing the difference between now and when she was little was a bit hard. It's bittersweet seeing her grow up. She's my baby.

School report came in. She's exceeding expectations and is working above the expected level in everything. And her teacher described her as quirky and adorable. She also said that she flourishes when dancing and drawing and that she's very talented. 😍😍.

Key board lessons are going well.

And she made it into the school talent show, singing a solo (little mix, of course) and also got selected for an art club as her art work has been so good all year. They're making clay pots....she came home wearing more clay than clothes it seemed the first day. Can't wait to see the finished product though.

I feel for J's teachers today. For some reason she just couldn't get to sleep last night. To the point where, for the first time ever, I went to bed before she was actually asleep. She then came and joined me within half an hour, eventually dropping off sometime after midnight.

It wasn't the comfiest night as 2 adults, 1 with a bump, and 1 child in a bed doesn't cleave the most space. But it was nice all cuddling up together.

But then because boyfriend and I both wake up earlier than she does she ended up getting up a lot earlier than usual too. Meaning she got about 4/5 hours less than she's used to.

Jamie-Lou has gone on holiday again with my mum. I'm incredibly grateful to my mum for doing this as J gets experiences that I currently can't afford to give her and I get a bit of a break. I miss her like mad though and can't until she's home. I also worry about my mum over spending as she's currently unable to work due to her arm.

My older brother has also gone on holiday so we're currently dogsitting. Lots of fun and the dog is lovely but cats are not impressed with the situation.

I'm in single digits of counting down weeks till baby boy is here. It's terrifying but exciting. I'm constantly hit by the thought that I won't remember a thing and that I'll be conpletely under prepared. I also worry about parenting in a partnership. I'm still getting used to sharing the parenting of J. I'm so used to being a single parent, I'm not sure I'll be very good at sharing the responsibility.

We've been very busy. There was a funeral on boyfriends side of the family. It was a difficult day but also quite weird. It's a very big family so I was meeting some of them for the first time. It was also a catholic service. I'm not religious at all so that was very new to me. Lots of standing up which wasn't the easiest thing.

Midwife appointment revealed that baby boy is starting to measure ahead. So far he's only a week and a half ahead but he took a big leap from being bang on to being ahead in a not very long time.

This weekend was all bbqs and walks in the park and just chilling out together. It was lovely.

Only 1 month left of work. It'll be ever so odd to not be behind a bar.

Bestie and my mum are organising a baby shower but no one will tell me when it is and I'm freaking out about having nothing to wear or accidentally double booking myself. I hate not knowing things.

Boyfriend is building a wardrobe for us in our room. We'll have so much space for ours and baby boy's stuff.

Baby boy is incredibly wriggly and just all over the place and its odd. J was pretty much all in one area but he is just everywhere. Its starting to hurt a bit now which I didn't really have with J. Although I have done this all before it's feeling like an entirely new experience.

Tidy up day today as I've ignored it while boyfriend has been off work but atm I'm just lazing on the sofa as I've been awake since 6am and I'm not yet ready to actually face the day.

My mum is home after her op so I've been there doing jobs for her today as her arm is all bandaged atm and then jobs at home and checking on my grandma etc.

So tonight I'm getting to bed early if I can. He's got home from work and basically taken over all the evening jobs. J has been fed and bathed and had her antibiotic cream on and her hair done. He's run around getting all the picking up and after dinner cleaning done and now is just letting me lie on the sofa while he sorts out bedtime. He's lovely.