#mumblr problems

So I'm driving home (hubby meets me at work with the kids, I take them home, he goes to work) and the 2.5 year old, JJ, falls asleep. He doesn't really nap anymore so this is a surprise that I welcome. I carry him in to couch and he stays asleep! Score! I bring in baby and her and I have a blast together, she's half a bottle down when JJ wakes up screaming like he's being stabbed so I put her quickly in crib and run to find a total shitsplosion. I mean, it's bad. It's on his hands, on the couch, and he's mortified and gagging. So am I. I'm cleaning everything up while he sobs uncontrollably and then I hear it.

The baby has cried so hard she's now thrown up all of the formula she just chugged. I feel myself tensing. I can't take much more. Jj is mostly clean, the couch is wiped down and a towel over it, and go to the baby whose still screaming in her vomit puddle. I get sheets and clothes from both kids in the wash and get the baby hosed off and hold her bouncing while the toddler snuggles up behind me and falls back asleep. It's 6 pm. Way too late for nap time but I'm so defeated I welcome the sleep.

Get baby back to sleep, and I'm sitting here in silence. She's on my lap and I don't have a clean sheet on crib yet and I don't care. We aren't moving until brother wakes up or daddy gets home because I am DONE!

We got a condo at South Padre Island for the last weekend of June!!!!!!

I'm soooo excited AND super sad at the same time. RJ just turned 1 and I've never spent a night away from him! I will only be about an hour away but I already know I'm going to cry and probably call my sister every few hours to check up. UGH! No, I really need this......BUT I can't imagine a night away from my little poopsie!  

Today was the first day baby boy met his godfather. Considering the circumstances it wasn’t an ideal way to meet (at a funeral). & I’m not sure if I should be venting or not because it was indeed a funeral.

Anyways, I swear it felt like I didn’t exist. Everyone was keen on seeing MY baby but “don’t worry about the person that popped him outta her vagina”, she isn’t relevant. & to be honesssst baby daddy made me feel like I was only there to look after our son (like a nanny) & not cos he genuinely wanted me there. I mean, I could be mistaken & I guess he could just have really wanted our son to meet his god father. But I’m not going to deny how I felt then & there.

Baby daddy tried to run away after I fed our son & then actually left me in a sea of people. & when I brought it up he said “I tried to call you over”. Sorry? Making that damn “shhhhhttt” sound, yknow… Like what they do to dogs does not count as calling me over! & you tell me how I'm suppose to get from point A (where I was standing) to point B (where baby daddy was standing) when there were gazillion people in between. And even when the path cleared I had no idea where he was and stuck amongst the crowd (embarrassing).

Of course if I were to bring this up to him he’d probably say some shit insisting that I’m wrong. So, you can understand how refreshing it is to just vent out how I felt without getting a headache over a debate on who's right or wrong (which would probably happen if this were to be brought up).

Soooooo glad to be in bed. Next to my son. A place I know I’ll always be wanted.