#multigender stuff

3) How long have you known you were multigender? Or, when did you discover each of your genders?

In 2017 I realized there was something nonbinary about me. By 2018 I was like awesome, I'm a trans guy. Somewhere around 2021, after getting through a whole lot of life shit, I started to realize that both could be true and that in fact I could even circle back around to something feminine. Only in the process of writing this did I accept that that something feminine doesn't have to somehow be "woman". Maybe one day it will be as I get further from trying to be stuffed into that box, but also maybe it won't.

4) When did you first hear about being multigender?

Not sure. Probably when I was going down another rabbit hole looking for microlabels, or when I heard other people on tumblr using bigender as a label.

5) Are there any terms under the multigender umbrella that you identify with? (like bigender, trigender, genderfluid, omnigender, multiflux)

Genderfluid, fluidflux, and also kinda androgyne, which isn't strictly a multigender identity but also kind of is. I did also identify as bigender for a while but I think that's not accurate anymore - there are more genders in me than I thought :3

6) Do you identify with any umbrella terms that can encompass being multigender, like "trans" or "nonbinary"?

I identify with both of those, though I identify much more with genderqueer than nonbinary. I'm a weird little creature.

What's It Like For You? 7) Are your genders more fluid or more static?

Fluid on the whole, which can make me feel like a fool answering questionnaires like this, because what even am I lol.

8) Are your genders more separate or blended together?

Originally I felt that they were very blended together, but now I think they both are and aren't. There are separate genders in there but they also bleed into each other and inform each other.

9) Do you "hoard" genders or labels?

Me? No, of course not. NO DON'T LOOK UNDER THERE

10) Do you have any analogies you use to describe your genders?

Previously I described my androgyneness as like purple dye in a can of white paint that hasn't been completely mixed up. There are stronger and weaker stripes of color, and there's clearly two different things that are now mixed up as one thing. I still like the image, and I'm not sure that it's wrong, but more recently I've started to think of my gender like a half pipe. I start from the "man" side, pass through the neutralish middle, and don't get quite up to the top of the "woman" side. If anything, I'm a girl, but not in a young way. In a "girl, so confusing" by Charli xcx way.

11) Describe your ideal gender presentation, or physical form.

Retractable tits. I rest my case.

But for real I really love how my chest looks post top surgery but I do miss my tits at times. I also wish people could just read me as a guy without my intervention, because if they also read me as a faggot they're still right. If people could look at me and know one thing about me it should be that I'm a fag, not a woman. I don't have one single ideal presentation but my triangle slider would probably be denim butchfag, punk lumberjack, and gothic lolita.

12) Does your gender influence your sexual orientation?

I'm gay for everyone and it's impossible to be straight for me unless it's funny :3

13) Does your sexual orientation influence your gender(s)?

A little, in the sense that I feel all of my attraction is queer and my gender matches that, whatever that means in context.

14) Do you identify with any multigender-specific sexuality labels?

To be honest, I don't know many, and did not have much success learning more with a little bit of searching. So not currently, but maybe in the future. That said, my sexuality has always felt more straightforward to me than my gender and I think bi covers it pretty well. Getting A Bit Personal Now, Are We

15) Describe your names and their significance to you.

My chosen (and now legal) name is a secret but I wanted a name that would easily be read as masculine (this has been less successful than you would think because of other aspects of my presentation over time, even though I personally have never heard of a woman with this name). Online, though, I go by Rose, which feels like an extra queer name paired with my more masculine genders and also he/him. I'm also just a big flowers person, if you couldn't guess.

16) What are your plans for medical, social, legal (etc) transition? How far along in your transition would you consider yourself to be?

I already got top surgery and a hysterectomy and have been on T off and on since 2019. In terms of what I want out of T I'm like halfway there - still waiting on my beard to fully grow in and my downstairs growth to get as far as it can go. After that I plan to go off T again and just chill with my ovaries. My social and legal transition are like 99% complete - I think I still have one little thing to update but all my important documents and accounts have my new name and gender, and I finally have enough rental history under that name to not get instantly outed when I rent a place T-T I like being openly queer but I'm not here for administrative transphobia and deadname fuckery.

17) Have you faced any barriers in transitioning specifically related to your multigender identity or related goals?

Not really, because I just don't mention being something other than a trans guy unless it feels relevant and safe to mention it. So I get my T prescribed and go on my merry way. But it helps that I want to be outwardly "man", so even if my ultimate goal is not to Pass™ I do want the same T dosage they would prescribe to a completely binary trans man.

18) Have you ever faced prejudice or hostility due to your multigender identity or related presentation?

If I project that identity retrospectively, yeah, because my family was just queerphobic as shit and anything I did to be a feminine guy (which is still accurate to me, but I didn't have the brain space to describe myself any other way at the time) instantly made me a target. Being a guy was impossible enough, but this girly shit on top of it? I was CLEARLY just lying to myself. I also did get called "faggot" on the street once. Which would have been scary if anything else had happened but tbh it was kinda validating. These days the thing I worry about most is people thinking I'm some kind of predator, if they look at me and see a man in a dress instead of a weirdly shaped woman in one. But in the areas I frequent I think people are more likely to assume I'm a trans woman in a more neutral way, which is not accurate but not a big deal.

19) When in a situation forcing you into one gender, what do you do?

With bathrooms, I almost always go to the men's, but sometimes that feels too sketchy since apparently I don't pass even when I am dressed in a way that feels masc to me (unironically I think my short boots might "give me away") but wearing a mask in public helps. At the Sea-Tac airport there are all-gender bathrooms, which is the best thing ever for me. In other situations, I pretty much always say "man" - that's what I am legally and administratively and that's not 100% accurate but it's fine with me. Dress codes are the bane of my fucking existence though, like they make me spiral like nothing else, and I find a way to subvert them somehow.

20) How do you deal with such transmultiphobia, external or internal? Do you use any comforts or affirmations to help?

Honestly I mostly try to forget about it. I count my blessings in the form of all gender restrooms and such, because even though they're not enough they do mean a lot. A lot of the time the comfort I have is just thinking of it like I have a bunch of cool secret genders that I can't tell most people about because they're cool and secret, even though the real reason is a lot of people in my life wouldn't get it and I can't stand for them to look at me differently because of it.

Pride

21) What are your favorite things about being multigender?

I'm a weird creature and omnidirectional gay :3

22) What multigender-related pride flag do you like the most?

A lot of them have bad contrast and/or too much saturation/values that are too similar but nevertheless when I looked back at the fluidflux flag it became my favorite:

There are also some cool variations of the flag like this one:

It also contains the colors of the androgyne flag :3

23) What unique parts about your identity are you proud of?

Wanting to be a stereotypical effeminate gay was part of what tipped me over into accepting that I was trans, and I'm proud to continue being a faggot 🫡

24) Do you do (or have you ever done) anything to express pride, privately or publicly, in your multigender identity?

The biggest thing is just having it out on my social media, because I don't really have non-pseudonymous social media anymore.

25) What's your favorite art/music/writing/etc about being multigender? (Things not explicitly written as such are OK too!)

Misha Krivanek's TMNT OC Tomiko is the character that got me comfortable with being genderfluid because she's just so cool???? I'm not even into TMNT????

But aside from that I don't have anything specifically multigenderous so I will give you a thing that has given me gender envy:

Community

26) Do you have any friends who are multigender?

Honestly I'm not sure! I have IRL friends who are genderfluid but I don't know if they consider themselves multigender, and I don't totally know what the line is between pleasant mutual and friend is on tumblr lol.

27) Do you talk about being multigender with other people?

The queers, yes. And obviously I'm not shy about it online.

28) Are you open/out about being multigender?

With my queer or otherwise chill friends, yes. I'm out as genderqueer at school but for simplicity I usually don't get into my gender beyond "genderqueer trans guy". But in general, no, because it's either irrelevant or I just don't think the other person would be able to handle knowing that. Not that they would be mean, but it would turn into a whole thing.

29) Are you open about some parts of your gender identity, but not others?

Pretty much the same as above - most people I know know that I'm trans, or could guess as much. But I don't get into the details unless someone asks, and basically no one does.

30) What do you wish more people knew about being multigender?

That it exists and you can be it!!! 31) Free space! Share anything you would like about your multigender experience.

I wish everyone who called me "she" would do it in the queerest way possible like. That's Mr. Ma'am to you. Also in the course of writing this I feel like I've accepted that I'm just not a woman and I don't need to keep asking myself if I am to fulfill some kind of quota. But I did conjure up the word "butchfag" when I was imagining my best denim-studded life, and I feel like that's my life goal for 2025. For reasons of safety - if I can look butchfag that means I can also just look like a random dude, nothing to see here - but also because I'm starting to understand my butch and femme sides better. One day I want to be a professor who is obviously queer and insufferably faggotrous, at least to the bigots. Drop my class, coward, if you even stayed after I told you you couldn't use AI.