Jeremy: Yeah, I have feelings every single day of my life.

Niall: You do?

“you are the best thing” [l i s t e n]

Slipping her keys through the hole, Jocelind pushed open thedoor to her home and immediately felt it. The unexplainable twinge thatsomething wasn’t right. Her brows furrowed as her eyes darted around, scanningtheir foyer for any sign of disruption. The infinitesimal hairs on the back ofher neck stood at attention as she stepped inside, quietly closing the doorbehind her. Shifting slowly towards the kitchen, she rested the pile ofgroceries in her arms onto the counter. Jocelind then pulled her wand from itsresting place in her bag and ghosted through the different rooms—the living,dining, and bathroom were all clear of any disturbance. Her nerves piling ontop of each other, she gently tapped open the door to Oliver’s room, stickingher wand out in front of her before entering. Nothing. The young boy’s toyslaid a mess across the floor, but it was a recognizable mess. Brushing a pieceof hair from her face, Jocelind turned to check her daughter’s room next. Thiswas Olivia’s first year at Hogwarts, and so her mother had entered her room onseveral occasions now, staring at the empty space the little girl had left behind.This time, though, she stood staring at the neatly made bed not caught in the gripsof nostalgia, but with a knot in her stomach that grew by the moment. Shewondered for a brief moment if she was losing her mind, and this was merely aside effect to having no children in the house anymore.

Just as she turned to return to the kitchen, having decidedshe should just unpack the groceries, Joce heard the unmistakable sound of asoft moan coming from the one place she had yet to check. Their bedroom. In herstomach she could feel the suspense of the moment building as she headed towardthe sound, knowing that the answer to her question lay behind that door.Leaning against the handle gently, she pressed her ear to the wood just enoughto hear the soft creaking of their bed. The same sound it made when they weremaking love. Swallowing hard, her imagination ran off with images of Jeremy andhis secretary. Jeremy and Marlene. Jeremy and Calista. Endless women endlesslyrunning their hands through her husband’s hair, pressing their breasts againsthis chest and making him whimper their name.

Her heart beating rapidly now, she pushed open the dooraggressively, prepared to tear apart whoever had joined her husband in theirbed. Two familiar heads with tousled hair immediately jumped up from theirlaying positions on the dirtied mattress, chests heaving as they staredwide-eyed at a gape-mouthed Jocelind. Frozen in time, she stared at what hadjust been a tangle of sweaty, hairy limbs,a sight that she surely wouldn’t be able to forget. Her brain seemed unable tocomprehend what she was seeing, having expected a long-haired, wide-hippedwoman to have infiltrated her bed. Instead she stood before the only two menshe’d ever slept with, apparently experiencing together what she hadexperienced with each of them apart. In the chaos of her mind she almost wantedto laugh, in part with relief but also over the irony of it—her body numb,though, she remained motionless. Everyone seemed suspended in time, and thelonger Jocelind stared at their entangled bodies, the more she felt somethingrising up within her. It wasn’t the blistering anger that she expected to haveoverwhelmed her, though. Instead, she couldn’t help but feel intrigued—curious,even, to see more. To be involved.

Niall [thinking]: Oh my god. Would I have a threesome with Joce and Jeremy? Well, it’s certainly flattering and I don’t think they’d tell anyone…

Jeremy: Will you be my best man?

The umbrella, when it rains - Niall because Jer likes 2 be pampered.

The popcorn at the cinema - Get your own popcorn, Jeremy.

The baby, when it cries - Calm that baby down, Jeremy.

The ice cream cone, when they share - Get your own ice cream, Jeremy.

The remote, when they sit down to watch a movie - Niall, because he's dying to watch a normal sports match that doesn't involve being hundreds of feet off the ground, thank. I can't imagine them tucking in to watch a movie that isn't like...an action movie, but anyways: Niall. Jeremy might choose a rom com.

The basket, when they go shopping - Jeremy

The door, on dates - Niall because Jer likes 2 be pampered.

The other’s hand, most often - Jeremy, the needy bit.

Their breath, upon seeing the other on their wedding day - both of them , ofc.

Not getting up to anything wild, unless that's what you'd file changing nappies and getting less than six hours of sleep under. And I'll definitely hold you to those drinks. I'm going to need them.

Tell Joce I said, "Oi, keep your mitts to yourself, bint."

I'm not at all surprised, Niall