#muh posts

Disney:

Season 8 and Dean as Sam’s Parent

It was never more clear to me than in this interaction that Dean isn’t just Sam’s brother but also his dad in almost all the ways that matter. We know that Dean parented Sam growing up. It’s danced around multiple times throughout the show and is outright stated by Dean in season 12: “I had to be a mother and a father to him.”  What maybe isn’t as clear is Sam’s perception of Dean as a parent. Looking at this scene I think it’s very clear. Sam is devastated by a perceived lack of Dean’s confidence, pride, and approval. I want my siblings to love me, but I would not be totally devastated by a perceived lack of confidence from them the way I would be from my dad. “Daddy issues” is a term that exits for a reason. Feeling like your dad isn’t proud of you and confident in you is one of the most devastating things a child can experience. Sam here is reacting to Dean like a son who feels like a disappointment. We know he felt like a disappointment to John and that it angered him, but he didn’t react with the same devastation that he does with Dean here. And I think it’s very clear why. Dean was more of a father to Sam than John was, and so it was Dean’s pride and approval that Sam predominantly sought. Dean’s assurance that “There is nothing past or present that I would put in front of you,” is much more fitting for a dad to say than a brother. After all, most people don’t expect their siblings to love them more than anyone else they know--they expect friends and spouses to receive more love and attention than them at times. It isn’t so in Sam and Dean’s relationship. Sam needs Dean’s confidence and attention to feel secure, and Dean assures him of it here. Then like a typical parent, he tells him that everything will be okay.

Causes of Abandonment Issues:

The sudden loss of a parent or caregiver who the child depended on to feel safe and loved.

A parent who is emotionally unavailable.

Lack of appropriate supervision–the parent is sporadically involved with their child.

Inadequate provision of nutrition and meals

Treating a child as a peer with no parent/child distinction; treating a child as an extension of oneself