#mtfphotography

So, the last time I swam. It was before COVID-19 came to town in February. I swam still in my male clothes...during the early months of my transition. I visited the pool three times a week for a five hour session. This was my exercise; visiting each time during holidays, swimming laps, practicing underwater swimming and aquatic aerobics.

How I missed it!

I began planning my return to swimming, but this time as Mira (female) and not the person they remembered.

I began shopping for swim attire, I wanted to find something I would be comfortable in. I chose a one piece with an inlayed bra to hide any embarrassing reactions to cold water.

The only issue (and very personal) with one-piece swimsuits is that that wrap between the legs, and for a trans-woman in transition...well I’m certain you’ll understand.

Now, I’m certain out of 100 people, only one might glance at the crotch, but that 1-out-of-100 was enough to make me second guess swimming.

So, as featured in the title image, I wear and one piece with a skirtkini to cover-up.

On the day of swimming, I dressed in my one-piece and skirtkini and wore my civilian clothes over that, not certain about the facilities.

Luckily they have a corridor called ‘Universal Changing Center’, private rooms to change in. On my first visit in 2018, I used the men’s locker room and that almost ended my swimming. It is weird to think: ‘If the UCC is ever closed, I’ll never be able to walk into the men’s locker room; and a women’s locker is so alien to me (and I also believe I don’t belong in there due to my male anatomy). But oddly, I don’t feel that I’ll have the same reaction as I had in the males locker room.

I undressed in privacy and stood alone in the wash room, calming my nerves as I walked out to the pool deck, thinking positive thoughts.

As in the image below, when I first received my swim suit in May, I was dismayed to learn that I had little to no mass to support the built-in bra. I wondered about how I would resolve this issue, but six months later, I ‘almost’ filled out the built-in bra, showing how much I grew during quarantine.

Walking to an open lane; one swimmer; the aquatic director and two life guards stood in this room

“Welcome Back Young Lady!” the director said to my thrill. I was passing!

“Thank you!”

“Take off your mask and choose which lane you like.”

I was ecstatic that no one was looking at me oddly or commenting. Now, I’ve written in many posts about dealing with gender dysphoria; about how 90% of the time, your fears are all in your head. You see yourself not passing, but in actuality, you are.

It is all about attitude and behavior. If you act uncomfortable with yourself, people will know. And if you act confident with yourself, people will know also.

It’s easy to say in practice, but in reality, all that goes away! The dysphoria takes over, and all your flaws seem amplified.

For me, it was my breasts and face.

I honestly didn’t want to remove my mask as I’ve loved hiding behind it with no one thinking my behavior is odd. And I fret about developing chest not conforming to the swim attire.

I had to mentally remind myself ‘Calm down! No one cares!’

I jumped into the pool and tried to speed swim underwater, finding a oddly familiar problem. The speed I can reach causes a wardrobe malfunction and I nearly lose my skirtkini in the first second.

Swimming Experience

Now, let’s talk about swimming as a guy and swimming as a trans woman.

Most of my experiences are exactly that: experiences. So this may vary between individuals.

As a man, swimming with the upper body is much different then swimming as a trans woman. This makes sense however. Men have muscle mass, but women have toned muscles. My percision was far better then my execution. It took far more effort to pull myself through the water, but where I struggled with strength, my dexterity has greatly improved!

With define hips, rotation was way much easier; but with breasts, I needed to find my center of gravity.

I still have not tried dolphin technique, and wonder if my added weight to my chest will make it easier or harder.

Underwater gliding is about the same, but as a man, I used to glide only an inch off the ground. But as a woman...miss calculated and OUCH! I continue to forget I have breasts and have to modify my techniques.

Wadding and maintaining a position is far easier. My center of gravity as a man brought the water to my neck, now it is the bust-line.

I want to do a detailed swimming evaluation between being male and female when the pool is open without reservation (so I can spend five hours doing drills).