#mtfconfessions

Eventually I gave up on dating cis people.

Cis men are scary (there’s too many stories of them acting aggressively or flat out murdering trans women), cis women are okay generally but I always felt jealous of them for being cis women which is not healthy for any relationship. Now I have an agender significant other and while we don’t have exactly the same experiences, they understand me more than any of my cis partners have and I feel safe with them.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10716)

The other day a female friend of over 5 years came on to me.

She told me she had dreams about being with a girl and she wanted to try it. I am in no way a passing female. I have a penis and she knows, she knew me before i came out. I am happy that she chose me, not because of the sex, but because she considered me enough of a girl. I was filled with so much joy.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10255)

I just took my very first estrogen pill like 3 hours ago.

Took a lot to even put it in my mouth. Five years of anguish to get to this point. Now that I’ve taken it—cried and smiled my heart out—everything just feels normal. I like it!

(Taken from mtfconfession 10747)

Sometimes I’m happy, because I kinda won the genetic lottery.

I’m not on blockers/hormones, but I still have a slim body, defined hips, not much muscle above my waist, and I think I might naturally have less testosterone than most cis men. But It just makes me feel guilty bc even though I have a lot of dysphoria, I know there are a lot of women who arent as lucky as me and I feel like I should give up on myself put all of my energy into helping them out because they need it more.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10252)

I'm conflicted.

I want a life that isn’t mutually exclusive with being trans or being a woman, but it would be much easier to pursue it in this society if I stayed a closeted “cis” man. I want a wife someday. I want to have kids. My dream job is considered a more “masculine” field (not that I agree, but that’s what society deems it, and more men than women are in that field). I hate that everyone seems to think women can’t live that life. I want to, and hopefully I will someday.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10254)

Before I started HRT, I knew I was going to experience stronger emotions, but I couldn't have imaged this.

They overwhelm me at times, but they help me feel more connected with my true self.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10257)

I hate mandatory pronoun questions.

I’m not out at all and I don’t want to say he/him, it kills me inside to actually go out of my way to say I want these pronouns, but I am not in the position to come out as trans yet - I’ll probably wait until I’m financially independent. I like LGBTQ spaces in theory but I hate this dreaded question because if I don’t answer, people will assume I’m a cis person being difficult, but saying I prefer he/him hurts.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10258)