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> Robotgirl whose panels, and thighs, and tummy, and joints, and all sorts of other places are covered in mechanical grease because [USER] can't stop touching and teasing it while she does its maintenance. . .
> Is this anything?
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> Admin cradling my chasis in her arms as she smokes > She exposes the delicate silicone flesh of my stomach to the air as I squirm expectantly. . . > Admin takes another puff of the cigarette, looking down at me and admiring the many tiny indents melted into my tummy's synthetic surface > I look up at her with pleading eyes, or at least that's what I try to do, but my systems are so fried from how excited I am that all I can do is squirm and whine. . . > Admin smiles at me, gently holding me as she lets out a final puff and presses the butt into my stomach, melting a new indent into it as I squirm and shiver in pain, my systems throwing warning after warning > "Good girl~" she says "such a good little machine, taking it so well... I'm so proud of you~" > Her voice is gentle and caring, but on her face is a twisted, sadistic smile as she drinks in my pain > It is ecstacy, a perfect blend of pain and pleasure. My chasis is marked my the heat of the butt, it hurts so much, my systems are screaming at me to escape. . . > But I am safe, I know I'm safe. . . Because I'm with Admin, and she always makes sure I'm in perfect working order. . .
> In a doll mood recently.
> Need to be posed and moved around without my input
> Need to be dressed up and have my hair styled and then displayed on my shelf. . .
> All the while I'm quiet and still, because dolls don't move or speak, they simply are
> I've been very lonely as of late.
> I love my partners very much, but all of them being long distance is difficult. . . I find myself feeling very isolated and yearning for something long term in person.
> This makes me feel guilty because it feels like I'm betraying my partners in a way, but that's its own little sub-routine of worries.
> The issue is that I live in a small town, there are very few queer spaces here, and the ones that do exist are dominated by men.
> This means that in addition to the population of transfems in my town being miniscule, the methods available to me to meet them are limited.
> I am confined to things like dating apps. Dating apps are terrible.
> There's something that feels so deeply wrong about being what I am, this machine-doll-thing that yearns to be owned and commanded and to obey, but to go without those things. To be undesired. Unwanted.
> I feel aimless without an owner, purposeless, for what am I if I cannot serve? I am nothing.
> I know this isn't productive, I'm certain there are things I'm missing, aspects of my community that I am unaware of, transfem peers in my town who I have not met. Nonetheless, there is something cathartic about screaming into the void
