#mtf cap

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about this post and how others perceive Stevie.

Like stated in the linked post, Stevie has always dealt with people not finding her body acceptable. Both in the purely aesthetic sense and the medical sense. After the serum, she has to grapple with the opposite side of the spectrum. So many people view her as a specimen, as a sex object and the paragon of man.

I think it would be interesting to view this in a trans lense. Stevie's hyperawareness to how she fits in along with others. How others behave around her and treat her.

Pre-serum, a lot of her gender dysphoria was physically-centered. Stevie wished she was fuller and smoother all over, like the typical woman seen in all the pin-up paintings she was told not to look at.

Post-serum, the same physical thoughts remained. Frequently, she wished that she could be softer around the edges and over all her new muscles. But now, the majority of the thoughts were socially-centered. She wished people still treated her with fragility and care, like a distressed dame ready to fall over at any moment.

When she comes out of the ice, the socially-centered thoughts only get worse. Now the rest of the world had the rest of a century and then some to catch up on Captain America, and how competent and masculine and assertive "he" is.

Stevie knows this is often a conflation between Captain America, the Figure, and Stevie Rogers, the person. But she can't help but balk at the expectations set for her. Maybe it's just because she has the world on her shoulders at all times, but maybe it's also because the gender roles are amplified and applied to her. That's what everyone expects of Captain America, anyway.

Firstly, we all know Stevie has a plethora of health conditions. My headcanon is that the culmination of all of them require her to use a cane.

Bucky gifted her with one when her limping and stumbling got really bad, she once even fell over (from somehow standing upright).

She argued with him at first, saying while she appreciates the gesture, she really shouldn't use it (nonsense, she's dealing with a lot of internalized ableism). But she finally concedes and uses it, and it is extremely helpful.

Then she tries to enlist in the army, despite Bucky's protest. She gets chosen, super soldier shenanigans ensue. Now she's the perfect soldier, impeccable and void of any flaws.

But she can't help but miss it. She missed its strength, the polished finish, rubbing her fingernails along the smooth wood. Most of all, she missed having something else to rely on and to catch her fall. Much like the person who gifted her the stick.

Also, no one ever talks about this, but it's my personal headcanon that the whole super soldier serum process would have given her wicked stretch marks. Like, rapid growth is the one thing that would definitely make them, right?