#mtf!remus

---

Virgil was never happy to have to deal with people. Unfortunately, his job revolved around exactly that. Teaching dance classes was not exactly his ideal career, but he had the skills and bills to pay.

It was always so annoying to teach a room full of people, half of whom did not want to be there. There were so many husbands who were appeasing their wives, brides and grooms looking to impress, and idiots foolishly hoping to find their soulmates. The fantasy of romance got in the way of actually learning how to move without getting hurt or looking stupid.

As he rifled through his appointment book at the front of the studio, Virgil scoffed at the faded green mark stretching down his arm where his soulmate would touch him for the first time. No one else could see it, but it was still irksome to have to see it for himself.

He truly loathed the idea. Soulmates were just the universe’s way of being a complete bastard. It meant horrible people could lay claim to innocent people, that dating was never serious (though flings were common), that anyone who didn't have a mark had to pretend. And there was no guarantee that anyone would do more than brush against their soulmate in a crowd, never to see them again.

It was as much of a waste of time as solo lessons. Virgil read the name in his appointment book and sighed. “Reina C. Tango.” She was probably just another woman who wanted to get too personal with a young, fit man while she kept searching for “the one,” or making up for “the one” being absolute garbage.

Virgil pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He just needed to get through this one lesson before he could go home and spend some quality time with Jill, his right hand, the one without the stupid mark.

Ding

Virgil glanced up as the door opened. The woman who walked in was far from the usual solo client. She was definitely under 30, with long, wavy, dark hair, save for a streak of gray in the front. He recognized her as one of his neighbors, the one living across from him. That wasn’t an issue since he never talked to his neighbors, she probably wouldn't recognize him. No, he was only mildly concerned that she was wearing a tight green dress with a flowy skirt and heels. It was best for beginners to wear comfortable workout clothes so they could see how their body had to move.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” she giggled and skipped up to the counter, “I have an appointment!”

“Reina?” he asked and looked at her face rather than her bold outfit that accentuated her plush curves. She had hypnotic hazel eyes and an impish smile.

“That's me!” she beamed, “And what do I get to call a hunk like you?”

“Virgil,” he said flatly and stepped out from behind the counter. Reina’s eyes went wide as she drank in the sights. Virgil was all too used to being eyed like a piece of meat, with the tight black pants and even tighter black t-shirt, he couldn't hide most of his physique.

“If you brought a change of clothes, there's a room in the back you can use,” he said before she started drooling all over the floor.

“Change?” she parroted before snapping out of her trance, “Oh! I didn't bring a change of clothes!”

“Alright, but you might want to consider it next time,” he shrugged and led the way to the main dance floor. Reina followed with a spring in her step.

“Now this is a kinky place for a murder!” she giggled as she looked around the room. Virgil should have been more concerned, but he couldn't argue with her—there were mirrors lining two walls and on the ceiling, and the only raised surface was a stool holding a speaker.

“If you don't mind cleaning up all the blood and glass in the middle of the night, maybe,” Virgil said and faced her. She was vibrating with excitement.

“And if I don't mind, would you be interested in renting this place out?” she jeered and shimmied.

“I'd rather not have cops flooding my studio, thanks,” he pouted. She had the nerve to giggle at him as he pulled out his phone to pick some music.

“So,” he said as he found a good song for beginners, “Have you ever tangoed before or is this your first time?”

“It's my first time not leading,” Reina beamed, “I used to be pretty good at that part, but I want to be ready for my brother's wedding. I have the basics down!”

Virgil paused and stared at her for a moment. Why would a woman like her know the typical male part and not the typical female part? He wasn't judging, there were a number of reasons why, but she had a lot of energy and personality, it would be a shame if she didn't get a chance to show off her flamboyance.

“He found his soulmate?” Virgil asked and played the music, mainly so he wouldn't ask her anything too personal.

“Nope! He and his fiance don't have marks, they're aroace but they want a tax break,” Reina shrugged, “And a big party. And I have to dance with him at least once.”

“So you either want to upstage him or you just don't want to embarrass him,” Virgil said.

“Both!” Reina giggled, “So can I show you what I already know before the lesson?”

“Yeah,” Virgil said and carefully wrapped his left arm around her back to guide her into position.

Reina went rigid and stared at him with tears welling up in her eyes.

“Shit, I'm sorry,” Virgil gasped and tried to step back and give her some space. Reina held his arm in place with one hand and grabbed his free hand with the other.

“I’m okay, you just surprised me,” she said and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, leaning towards him and balancing her weight on her right foot, “Let’s see what you can teach me!”

“Tell me if you need me to stop or slow down at any point,” he responded before carefully stepping forward with his left foot. To his surprise, she moved her right foot at the same time and pace as him.

“You can go faster,” she teased as he walked her back two more steps. He brought his right foot back and turned, having her follow him without any issue.

“You said you had experience leading,” Virgil commented, “How much experience?”

“Regional champion, three years in a row,” she giggled adorably, “But that was years ago, before I had some medical things.”

“Medical things,” he mused and led her sideways across the studio, “Don't take this the wrong way, but are you talking about transitioning?”

“Are you saying I look like a guy?” she pouted, never faltering in her steps.

“No, you don't look like a guy. It's just that regional competitions are annoyingly strict when it comes to gender roles. If I'm wrong that's okay, and if I'm not, you're safe and your secret is safe with me.”

“Since you don't recognize me,” she pouted and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, “Why don't you show me your skills?”

To make her point even clearer, she lifted her left leg and dragged it down his side. Virgil immediately grabbed her thigh at the knee as soon as she started trembling.

“Tell me if you need to stop or slow down,” he said with a far too serious gaze. That hard glare was electric, enough to make Reina’s heart race.

“And what if I don't?” she jeered, smiling impishly. That smile fell from her lips when Virgil twisted his hips and dipped her so she was level with the ground.

“Then I'll quit while I'm ahead,” he said firmly. He was so close that she could smell his breath, a delightful wintermint that sharply contrasted the heat spilling from his lips.

“I’ll behave,” she breathed, absolutely entranced by him. Virgil could see it in her eyes, she was getting the wrong idea, but he was hesitant to correct her. He preferred men, but something about this woman made him consider the possibility.

He swiftly righted them, pulling her to his chest, mainly for balance, but he wouldn't deny that he enjoyed the flustered shock on her face.

“I get the feeling you won't,” he teased with a wry smirk. All her shock melted into a challenging grin.

“How am I supposed to behave when my dance partner is teasing me?” she jeered and cupped his cheek with her right hand.

He took that hand and locked their fingers, pulling it back into position away from their bodies. His brow furrowed slightly and his gaze hardened seriously.

Reina was thrilled when he picked up the pace, taking bolder steps, closer to her legs. They moved across the floor in quick bursts, cut by sharp stops that Reina used to wrap herself around him, flowing like a blade of grass in the wind.

No matter how far she leaned away from him, Virgil leaned towards her, keeping an eye out for any discomfort or struggle. Reina was far from uncomfortable, seductively arching and curling around his frame. She was keeping pace with ease, taking patterned steps that kept her hips swaying as Virgil led her through more complicated patterns that a beginner could never handle.

The studio lights illuminated her dark curls, showing off the red hues hidden in the brown. She was glowing, in her element, and her eyes were sparkling cesspools of radioactive sludge—a gorgeous portrait of chaos. Virgil was so drawn to her, and he was reluctant to fight it.

Then, with a sharp twist of the hips, Reina stuck her left leg out behind her, far enough that she had to bend her other knee. Virgil knew exactly what she was hoping for with this move, and he was set to deliver.

As soon as that left leg lifted off the ground he bent down at the waist. Reina swung her leg up and onto his shoulder, quickly bracing herself on both shoulders with her hands, letting her right leg dangle between them. Virgil immediately grabbed her waist to support her, keeping his eyes on her face. This was more advanced than he was used to teaching, but he could enjoy flexing his skills every so often.

Reina was beaming as he spun her around once. She was a chubby lady, and it took a lot of core strength to hold her up like this. Virgil wasn't straining himself, even when he carefully guided her back down, slowly letting her right foot touch the floor while her left leg slid down his arm. He shifted back to his previous position, holding her hand with the other arm around her back.

“Oh, you are good,” Reina purred as he turned, spinning her on one foot.

“And you don't need me to teach you,” Virgil hummed and let go of her hand for a moment so she could lower her leg, wrapping it around his hip.

“I could still use a partner,” she hummed and leaned into his chest, “Especially one as strong and handsome as you!”

“You can find better,” he responded and dipped her again so he wouldn't get too flustered, “Someone who won't play tricks like this.”

“Maybe I can't,” she giggled as he righted her. She brought her leg down and twisted so her back was pressed against him and his arm was across her waist. They locked their other hands and ghosted across the floor in long, lingering strides.

“What makes you say that?” he mumbled in her ear, his low voice sending chills up her spine. At the same time, Virgil’s heart was hammering against his ribs, all because she was in his arms, so close he could smell the ocean breeze shampoo she used. He didn't want to let her go, even though he knew he had to.

Instead of answering him, Reina let go of his right hand and spun away from him, holding his left hand until she twisted and spun with swift, bold steps, circling him sensually. She paused behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest, slowly dragging herself down his back before snapping away and twirling around him to see his face.

That's when Virgil finally got a look at his left arm. The green mark was glowing on its own. Reina was his soulmate.

Reina wrapped her arms around his shoulders and giggled at his slack jaw.

“Still think I could find better?” she teased and fluttered her lashes. He was so cute when he was stunned!

Virgil pulled her flush against him and stared down at her smiling face.

“Is this why you were crying earlier?”

“Yeah. I never thought you of all people would be my match—you beat me in the state championship three years in a row as kids,” Reina explained and caressed his cheek while she wrapped her left leg around his hip.

“You had a mustache, didn't you?” Virgil asked, wracking his brain for any details he could remember. Reina rubbing his hip and butt was making thinking difficult.

“That's right!” she sang and nuzzled his chest, “I made it look hot!”

“You did. But I think you look better now,” he muttered.

“Aw, you're in luck if you aren't a sausage guy! I look better without clothes!”

Virgil snorted and shook his head. This kind of flirting got people banned from his studio, but he didn't mind when Reina got suggestive with him, at least with no one else around.

“I think you'd look best in your favorite pajama pants and one of my old t-shirts, cozy and comfortable, completely at ease,” he replied and gently guided her hands from his cheek so that he could brush his lips against her knuckles.

Reina squeaked and tried to hide her blushing face in his chest. She was too cute.

“Did you drive here?” he asked.

“I took the bus.”

“If you're not busy, did you want to get some takeout and watch a movie at my place?” he asked, and then panicked, “—It’s right across from your apartment, I'm not trying to lure you into anything dangerous and I'm not a stalker, I swear—”

Reina laughed and hugged him tighter, dropping her leg.

“My soulmate is a sexy dancer and the mystery horror movie fan in 13A!” she cheered, “And he's thoughtful and sweet and funny! The only way this could get better is if you decide to spend the rest of the day shirtless!”

“What?!” Virgil yelped and stumbled back, dragging her with him.

“Skin contact!” she giggled and booped his nose, “And I'll show you my mark if you do that for me! It looks like a big bruise! But it's not nearly as cool as your radioactive arm!”

“Let me lock up and I'll consider it,” Virgil said, certain that he would oblige that request when they were in the safety of his apartment.

---

It was one of those days when absolutely everything was going to shit. First someone stole her bike, then she had to handle the barrage of Karens doing their holiday shopping, and then she had to deal with car callers shouting at her on her way home. Violetta was going to lose her shit if she didn't get to gorge on ice cream and watch horror movies when she got to her relatively new apartment. Her roommate could deal if she were home. 

Of course she wouldn't get to relax, even when she realized she was home alone. She got into her bedroom and stripped out of her uniform, only to hear a report from the police scanner on her dresser. Multiple shots were fired downtown, the suspected shooter was none other than the Duchess of Destruction herself. 

Vi regrettably pulled on her black and purple compression spandex and hid her head in the mask. Rabidosa was on her way to put a stop to the chaos before the cops made a mess. 

Rabidosa leapt out the window and shot some webs from her wrist, in no mood to be the hero. The Duchess, Piscina Muerta, was going to go through hell if she was behind this! 

She swung between the buildings until she came upon an abandoned warehouse downtown. She could feel her adrenaline spike, her spider sense, and decided that was the place to investigate. 

She landed on the roof and glanced around. Something was off. 

Bang

“Fuck! Right by the tit!” 

Rabidosa whipped around and saw A woman in a bright green bodysuit, covered in blood, standing in front of her. Rabidosa couldn't see her face behind the mask, but she knew this walking arsenal. 

“Piscina,” Rabidosa gasped and tensed. She saw the sniper. 

In an instant she webbed the barrel and charged across the rooftop. With a single leap and a solid left hook she knocked out the would-be assassin. 

She glanced around, searching for more threats. Her spider sense wasn't acting up, but it was odd. She could deliver this thug to the police and get answers, but there was something more important to handle. 

Rabidosa spun around and raced across the rooftops to Piscina Muerta as she stumbled to the fire escape. 

“Stop,” she ordered in a low, threatening voice. Piscina shivered and froze. 

Can you blame me? I am weak to dommy mommies who can kick my ass! 

“Is there a problem, Spiderlily?” Piscina Muerta chuckled and tried to stand upright. She was shaking and struggling to stay balanced. 

“What happened?” Rabidosa asked and approached her cautiously. Piscina had rapid healing powers, she knew that. But she was still concerned. 

“Oh, this? I got shot in the arm and beaten up by some guys protecting my target, they could've been major league baseball players with the way they swing those pipes! You should've seen me an hour ago! Those fucks were scared shitless when I managed to take them down!” she beamed, “I would've stayed longer but I needed to get here before it was too late!” 

“What do you mean ‘too late?’” 

“Well obviously I needed to keep you from taking a bullet to the head! Those fucks were going to kill anyone who caught them in the middle of their transaction! I couldn't find the last one until just now! It's so weird you showed up before he could run away,” Piscina shrugged and stared off into the distance, as if she were staring at the narrator and readers. 

That's exactly what I'm doing! Why did you set up such a lame meeting? I want Spidey to kick my ass and then eat it! This is not how I want to play doctor with her!

Rabidosa narrowed her eyes. It was no secret that there were drug and human traffickers in the area, and that Piscina had a personal vendetta against them. But it made no sense for this flirtatious disaster to want to save her. It's not like they got along.

“It would be so boring if you were injured or dead! Who would beat me up and step on me until I cream my tights! The hostages? The cops can handle them when they get here!—They’re safe before you freak out!” Piscina giggled, already sensing what Rabidosa was thinking. She immediately hissed and stumbled forward, falling to her hands and knees.

“Can you save the horniness for when you're not bleeding?” 

“Internally or externally? Because I don't know when the first one will stop!” 

“You're bleeding internally and you're flirting?!” Rabidosa gasped incredulously. If she weren't hurt, Rabidosa would have played along with Piscina's flirting. 

“Yup! I can't help myself! You're hot and you vibe with me!” Piscina giggled and slumped on her side.

Can I please mention how that spandex is straining to contain that cake? Because damn! I want my face to be her chair! 

Rabidosa wilted slightly and shook her head. This murderous dork was really out of it if she didn't even mention her butt.

Ohhhhh I see where this is going! Good work Narrator!

“Since I'm not a cop, and I know you don't want to go to a hospital, I'll make sure you get home safe,” Rabidosa sighed and took a knee in front of her. She couldn't exactly see Piscina’s lips turn upwards but it was obvious she was beaming with the way her cheeks moved up. 

“Oooh, you want to take this to my place? How forward of you!” Piscina teased but wrapped her good arm around Rabidosa’s shoulders. 

“Don't get the wrong idea, I'm interested in someone else,” Rabidosa scoffed and webbed over her wound to keep her from bleeding out. Then she tourniqueted above the wound with more webs and hoisted the Duchess of Destruction up with ease. 

“You're not single? Damn, your partner is lucky!” Piscina giggled and curled into her, noting how her chest was compressed and firm. She would have preferred having some cushioning for the trip, but she could deal. 

“I am. She's out of my league,” Rabidosa huffed, “Just tell me where to go.” 

“Aw, that can't be true!” Piscina whined, “You're so hot and strong and kind! You're a superhero! No one is out of your league!” 

“Where. Is. Your. Place?” 

“Up on Preston and 4th. It's the top floor so you can leave me on the roof. I don't want my roomie to see,” Piscina pouted. 

“Afraid they'll call the cops?” Rabidosa asked, expecting the answer to be yes. 

“No, she wouldn't do that,” Piscina sighed as Rabidosa shot a web from her wrist and swung off the roof. 

“Then why are you concerned?” 

“I don't want her to worry about me more than she does,” Piscina sighed and closed her eyes, letting the wind wash over her. Her injuries were getting to her.

Nuh-uh!

“She's so handsome and smart and scary. I would kill for her to step on my e-dick and then cuddle me all night,” she continued, “I want to snuggle up with her and listen to her singing her emo songs.” 

“Don't pass out on me,” Rabidosa scoffed and switched arms with practiced grace, “Keep talking about your roommate or anything.” 

“You’re worried about me too,” Piscina jeered and glanced up at her. From this angle she looked so noble and strong with the stars blurring behind her. 

“No shit. You're probably bleeding internally, you have a gunshot wound, and you're fading fast,” Rabidosa scoffed as she kept switching arms and swinging through the city. 

“I won't die!” Piscina argued weakly, “And you'll be kicking my ass this time next week, same as always!” 

“I don't want to accidentally drop you. I need you to hold on and you have to stay awake for that.” 

This narrator is oddly quiet! I won't pull a Stanley. Say something! What is she thinking?

Piscina pouted in thought, though her mind was reeling. Rabidosa glanced down at her and fought back a blush. She really shouldn't have found a mercenary like this fat mouthed ball of chaos cute, and certainly not when she was so beat up.

She thinks I'm cute!? 

Yes, Rabidosa thought Piscina was cute, a bubbly little imp who could get under her skin and try to kill her, but cute. She reminded Rabidosa of a certain someone but she didn't have the energy to dwell. She had to get Piscina Muerta to safety and probably remove the bullet in her arm.

Who do I remind her of!? Don't leave me hanging here! 

“Seriously, keep talking so I know you didn't pass out,” Rabidosa cut into her thoughts directed at the narrator. 

“You just want to know what my type is, don't you?” Piscina teased, “What do you want to know about my roomie?” 

“Is she armed?” 

“You should see her arms! My god, that woman is ripped, she could snap me like a twig!” Piscina gushed, “She is a brick house! Fat ass and tiddies, soft tummy, and so much muscle! I would kill for her to bench press me!” 

“I see personality doesn't matter to you,” the heroine scoffed, unsurprised. 

“Oh it does! I'm just horny first! You would think that the E would've killed my drive but it didn't! Probably because of the healing factor! Which is good, I need my morning wood—”

“I don't need to know that,” Rabidosa cut her off. 

“That doesn't mean you don't want to know!” Piscina jeered, “But that's all you get without getting a peek!” 

“Pass.” 

“Your loss! I'm hot! And my skin isn't totally fucked up like Wade Wilson! Then again I'm not a pansexual Canadian with a hard-on for Bea Arthur!” 

Rabidosa scanned the rooftops as they drew nearer. She had no idea what the hell Piscina was talking about, and she couldn't blame it on head trauma. 

“So you're not hot for the Golden Girls?” 

“I am! Just not to the same extent! Besides, I like my women a little less femme! That's another thing about my roomie that's hot! She's pretty futch!” 

“Right,” Rabidosa droned and took in their surroundings. She was not happy that she recognized the area. 

“She is! And she's so cute and sassy! But she's also really sweet and kind, and she can keep up with my nonsense! I love her rants and when she gets excited about music and spooky stuff! She's just amazing!” 

“And she has no idea what you do for a living?” Rabidosa quipped. She was all too aware of the neighborhood she was in. This was unnerving.

“Nope! She might not call the cops but she would be scared of me! I don't kill just anyone, I don't take just any contact! But she might not believe me. I don't want to lose her. She's the kind of woman I could fall in love with!” 

“You have a crush on her,” Rabidosa said, “And you're too scared to do anything about it?” 

“Me? Scared?” Piscina huffed, “I don't want to be labeled as a predator—I kill predators! I'm not scared, just aware of everything that could happen.” She didn't have to divulge that her thoughts tended to lean toward the worst of the worst case scenarios, and they plagued her. 

Leave my intrusive thoughts out of this! 

“Sounds like you are scared,” Rabidosa huffed and landed on the roof of her apartment building. Hopefully Piscina would tell her she was on the wrong roof. 

Ooh! She lives here too?

“So what if I am? It's not like she’s interested in me like that,” Piscina pouted and fumbled out of Rabidosa’s arms. She could barely stand, but she didn't need to have this conversation. 

“Which apartment are you in?” Rabidosa asked stiffly. Piscina shrugged and peeked over the edge of the roof. She was surprised to see her roommate’s window wide open. 

“Don't sweat it, my roommate has to be home, so I have to be sure she can't see me sneaking in.” 

Rabidosa grabbed her by the collar and pulled her up to face her. 

“Which apartment?” she snarled. 

Oh fuck, I think I just creamed my tights! 

“505.” 

“She's not home,” Rabidosa said flatly and threw the duchess over her shoulder. Piscina squawked and flailed as Rabidosa leapt over the edge of the roof and scaled the building. 

“What do you think you're doing?” 

Because I think I'm staring at one spidery ass at work and I don't want to stop!

“Getting you to your apartment,” Rabidosa said and crawled through the open window. She would have to remember to close her window better next time. 

What!? 

“Is this your room or hers?” Rabidosa asked, still keeping up the guise because she couldn't break the fourth wall. 

I'm feeling attacked and targeted. And what do you mean “her window?!” Are you saying that this hot webslinger is actually—

“Piscina?” 

“It's hers. Can't you see the band posters?” Piscina grumbled. Her mind was reeling. 

Rabidosa said nothing and carried Piscina to her room. She set the menace on the bed and sighed. Where was the first aid kit? 

“Hey Spinstress, mind helping me with the mask?” Piscina cooed, “I think I can trust you to keep a secret!” 

“You sure?” Rabidosa hesitated and crouched beside her. She already knew which face was behind the mask, and she was not ready to see it. 

“Yeah! It's not like you would rat me out or tell my roommate that I have a crush on her! And I need to breathe easy to get this chunk of metal out of my arm!” 

Rabidosa sighed and carefully removed the mask. She was met with the most hypnotic green eyes and the most blinding grin. Piscina’s long, wavy, dark hair was messy as it fell around her face. There was no mistaking it, that was her roommate, Reina, trusting her with a gigantic secret. 

“Am I too pretty to handle?” Reina giggled softly. She was uncomfortable with the heroine staring at her in silence. 

“Of all the people you could be,” Vi said and removed her own mask, “You just had to be Reina.” 

Holy fuck! Am I dreaming?!

Reina let out a squeal and tried to tackle Vi in a hug. She wanted to run her fingers through that messy emo pixie cut and smother her in kisses. 

But Vi held her down with one hand and shook her head. 

“Wait until I get that bullet out.” 

“I have some chloroform in my left calf pocket if you need it. I don't!” Reina beamed, “The bullet kit is under the bed.” 

Vi hunched over and pulled out the kit. She was nervous but not shaking. She could do this. 

“Your left calf pocket? Is it on a cloth?” Vi asked, knowing she would make a mistake if Reina were awake. She didn't want to do more damage. 

That's my Violetta for you! Always thinking about not hurting people! Isn't she the cutest? 

“Yep! Oh! This is just like one of my wet dreams! Only after you knock me out I wake up to you riding—” 

Vi wasted no time grabbing the drugged cloth and covering Reina’s mouth before she could get into detail. Once the imp passed out she got to work. 

Oh come on! Dream Vi was riding a giant spider like a horse! Sure I was tied to a web and naked and incredibly turned on, but I wouldn't give her the fun details! Oh! It's starting now! 

*The following dream sequence has been excluded due to the explicit nature of the content* 

“Explicit nature?” What could be so bad about a little bdsm and s&m? Na na nana come on!—unless you mean the cannibalism, I can get that! 

Is it both? You're no fun! 

---

Reina blinked herself awake after an hour. She was still sore but on the mend, and dressed in her favorite pajama shorts and t-shirt. She'd be all better by morning. 

Hold on! I go commando! Vi saw my sexy naked body! And I didn’t get to show off?!

She sat up, to her own detriment, and glanced around the room. Nothing was out of place except for the medical kit on her nightstand. Vi was nowhere to be seen. 

Reina figured that she needed some time to come to terms with the fact that her roommate was the assassin she fought so many times. Or maybe she had to come to terms with the fact that Reina really liked her. It would be uncomfortable to have a stereotypical horny trans woman lusting after her all the time. 

Ugh way to make me feel like shit. I don't care if I'm thinking it, you don't have to say it!

But then there was a knock on the door, pulling her from her woes 

“Yes!” Reina cooed, drawing out the vowel. 

“I brought you a smoothie. I swear to god if you're not in bed right now I will break every bone in your feet,” Vi said from the other side of the door before opening it. 

“Your bedside manner needs work, but lucky for you, I'm into threats!” Reina beamed. 

Vi shook her head and walked over to her. She was bundled in her favorite hoodie and sweatpants, clearly hiding her form. And the red take-out cup in her hand was calling to Reina. 

“It's apple-kiwi-kale, is that cool with you?” Vi asked and handed her the drink. Reina took it with a nod and then took a sip. 

“You added chocolate and seaweed!” she gasped and slurped it all down, sucking in her cheeks to get every last drop. It was her signature drink! 

“Yeah, it's what you always get so I figured you'd want it,” Vi admitted and curled into herself. 

“You're so sweet!” Reina said brightly, and then pouted, “But you don't have to be sweet to me just because I said I like you.” 

“It’s not like that—I–uh—I told you that the girl I like is out of my league,” Vi stammered, “And you're out of my league.” 

“I’m not out of your league! What does that have to do with you being sweet to me?” Reina asked and tilted her head like a puppy. An oblivious puppy. 

“You are. You're fun, spontaneous, and you respect people’s boundaries. You care about the strangers around you and you try to make everyone feel welcome. You're pretty and brave and too good for me,” Vi argued. 

“But I'm aggressive and overwhelmingly sexual! Especially towards you! Not to mention my line of work! I'm not out of your league at all! You're out of my league! You're out of my league and the girl you like’s!” Reina fought back and put her smoothie on her nightstand. She would physically fight this spider even if she was hurt! 

Vi paused and stared at her for a moment. Was Reina just dense or did she have head trauma? She was not an idiot. 

“You're her,” Vi muttered and shrank back. 

“You like me?” Reina beamed, “Kiss me, I must be dreaming!” 

“The phrase is ‘pinch me’ you know,” Vi said with a blush. 

Oh god, she is so cute! Narrator, Bestie, I need to smooch her entire face! Please! 

“I know! But you won't pinch me right now and I want kisses!” she pouted and fluttered her eyelashes. Vi couldn’t resist her pouty face and sat on the bed beside her. 

Oh shit! Oh shit! This is happening!

“Where?” Vi asked shyly, wishing she had more hair to hide behind. 

“Anywhere on my face!” Reina said, vibrating from the antici—

—pation! 

Vi took a calming breath and cupped her cheek, turning her head so their eyes met. She was shaking as she leaned in, letting her eyes flutter shut before her lips made contact with Reina’s. It was supposed to be a quick, chaste smooch.

Fuck that! 

But Reina grabbed the back of her head and pulled her closer, not letting Vi escape. It was just enough incentive for Vi to knock her on her back and run her tongue between Reina’s lips. Reina had to let her in!

Ooh! Scare Bear had some practice with that! 

When Vi could finally pull away, her eyes were sparkling and full of enamor. Reina was flushed, staring up at her as her bangs fell around her face. This was really happening. 

“You look like my next girlfriend,” Reina muttered, unable to look away from her spiderlily. Vi blushed even more but smirked.

“You look like my current girlfriend,” she jeered, “If you don’t mind a boring moral hero type being yours.” 

“You are anything but boring! Now get down here and snuggle with me until I’m healed!” Reina huffed, only a little flustered. Rabidosa was absolutely dastardly when she flirted with Piscina Muerta, and Vi’s coy smirk had her heart racing. 

It’s so unfair! She’s the only one who can make me a puddle! 

Vi sighed through her nose and shook her head fondly. Naturally she relaxed next to Reina and curled up beside her. Reina took the opportunity to snuggle closer and nuzzle into her chest.

Soft tiddy, warm tiddy, not wrapped in a web! Happy Duchess, sleepy Duchess, I love girl 

“Don’t expect me to change my super suit so you can get to my chest when I have to kick your ass,” Vi hummed and closed her eyes. After a long stressful day, she earned a good nap. 

“As long as I can get to the tiddy when I’m recovering from your ass-kicking, I won’t,” Reina mumbled and fought back a yawn. Healing was draining! 

---

If there was one thing Violetta hated in her life, it was her job. She was fine with flowers, but she was so done with the people buying them. Someone is sick or dying, someone forgot their anniversary, bridezillas demanding the very best for their "special day," cheaters trying to make up for being scum—she hated working with those people. And she hated the people who tried to flirt with her on the clock. 

It was an average Tuesday and business was slow as usual. Vi was scrolling through her phone, finished with cleaning and stocking. She was happy to have some quiet time and roll up her sleeves. 

So she had to keep her arms covered at work because of her ink. Her boss was a little old man with some old fashioned ideas about professional appearance. He and his husband were absolutely wonderful beside that one detail, so Vi didn't complain. 

She was considering adding more detail to her arms later. She was happy with the black angular vines creeping down her forearms and the fluttering burning rose petals dancing around them. But she wanted to add some webs and thorns. And she knew exactly who she wanted to do it. 

Her mind wandered to the tattoo artist across the street. She was so bold and fearless, proud to let her freak flag fly. She was so energetic and friendly, gorgeous and strong. Vi had no idea how to talk to her without making a fool of herself. 

"Hello!" a familiar, nasally voice pulled her out of her trance. Vi put away her phone and looked up at the customer. She knew that mustachioed grin immediately. 

"He—Hey Reina," Vi stammered and hid her face behind her hair. Reina giggled and flipped her wavy dark curls over her bare shoulders. 

"I didn't know you had ink! It's so cool!" 

"Uh, thanks," Vi said softly and rubbed her neck, "What brings you here?

"I need your help," Reina gasped and shimmied, drawing attention to her muscular tits.

"With what?" 

"I need the perfect bouquet to ask a total babe out, and you would have to know the perfect flowers for her!" Reina beamed. She didn't seem to notice Vi's heart breaking. 

Violetta pulled her sleeves down and cracked her neck. She could do this. 

"So what are you thinking, something big and dramatic?" 

"No, she's pretty subtle, except when she smiles—I would rip off my bike shorts and corset in an instant if she told me to while wearing that grin!" Reina gushed and squished her cheeks.

Violetta bristled but tried to keep her feelings out of her work. Whoever made Reina this giddy had to be special and incredible. 

"So, a subtle way to ask her out—You'd probably want morning glories, white jasmines, pink camellias," Vi said and grabbed a notepad to write down the order. 

"What would you want in that kind of bouquet?" Reina pressed and wiggled her mustache.

"Me? Uh, I kinda ignore flower language, but I would probably want to get purple hyacinths, irises, and violets. Pretty much anything purple." 

"Gimme a small bouquet of all of those!" Reina gasped and bounced on her heels. 

"How soon do you need it?" Vi asked and wrote down her order. 

"How soon can old Vince make it?" Reina asked with the excitement of a puppy. Vi could make it and have it ready by the end of her shift. Vince had a lot to do.

"It can be ready by 3." 

"Sweet! I'll be back by then! Thanks Vi!" Reina giggled and skipped off, making Vi regret waking up that morning.

Of course she was going to regret it a lot more when the next customer came into the shop.

---

Reina was thrilled when she clocked out and skipped into the flower shop. The curvaceous chubby violet wasn't at the counter, but that was okay! Old Vince was there and the humble bouquet was just waiting for her. 

"Hey Vinny!" she cheered and skipped up to the counter, "I have an order to pick up!" 

The old man chuckled at her hype and picked up the purple bouquet. 

"Is this for who I think it's for?" Vince hummed knowingly. Reina beamed and nodded. 

"Then it's on the house. She'll be out any minute." 

"Really? You're the best Vinny!" 

"It's free if she accepts it." 

"I hope she does! She's so pretty and hot and I want to worship her butt and cuddle under the stars! God I hope she's into genderfuck trans women!" Reina gushed, unaware that Vi was trying to sneak past with her hood up. 

"See you tomorrow Vi," Vince called to her. Vi turned to him and waved. Reina saw her runny eyeliner and immediately marched up to her, bouquet in hand. 

"Who do I need to fight?" she asked and grabbed Vi's shoulders. Her eyes were so red and puffy. 

Vi pulled away and shook her head. Reina didn't need to know why she was crying. It was mainly because of that bouquet. 

"It's nothing—just another bridezilla. You don't have to worry about me. Go ask your girl out. Cut flowers don't last forever," she said and hurried out the door. 

Reina hurried after her. 

"Vi, wait!" Reina gasped and nearly barreled into her on the sidewalk. 

"What the hell?!" Vi snapped as she regained her balance.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm trying to ask you out. I can't even ask if you leave!" Reina giggled with an adorable blush on her cheeks. 

"Me?" 

"Yeah! I really like you and I know I'm not the most feminine woman so I understand if you aren't interested in—" 

"Are you telling me I made a bouquet for me?" Vi scoffed incredulously.

"I thought I said I wanted Vinny to make it," Reina pouted, "So you wouldn't have to make your own bouquet." 

"And you're sure you want to ask me out? You have to have other options." 

"How many options do you think I have?" Reina giggled, "I’m a genderfuck trans woman who won’t take any shit about being the right kind of trans!” 

“Still.”

“If you want to say no, I won’t be mad at you, I won’t take it too bad,” Reina sighed, “I’m not trying to force anything or hurt you.” 

Vi bit her lip and took a deep breath. She could do this, even if she was hesitant. She wanted this. 

“Ree,” she said and stood on her toes to kiss her cheek, “You wanna come over and get take out? We can marathon Halloween and cuddle.” 

“Should I go home and get comfy clothes?” 

“No, I have some stuff that should fit you. And if you tear the sleeves, I don’t mind,” Vi shrugged, “I kinda like the idea of having a buff girlfriend.” And then she squeaked as Ree scooped her up, holding her by the thighs.

“If you just want me to go shirtless, you can say so!” she giggled as Vi hid her face in her shoulder, “I won’t stop you from freeing the tiddy!” 

“Ree, put me down,” Vi huffed, “People are staring.”

Reina kissed her head and gently set her on her feet. Vi grabbed her hand and led her toward her apartment. 

---

Virgil really hated his job. He was a bodyguard for hire and he was basically just there to push the paparazzi back from celebrities that didn't give a shit about him. He had to make sure that their food wasn't poisoned, keep hordes of ravenous fans back, and all of this while getting every little thing for the person he was babysitting. But his current client, she was worth it.

Virgil stood guard outside of her dressing room and waited. After that night's performance, he was sure his client, Reina, would be looking forward to getting back home finally. Touring around the country could be tiring for anyone, and it was even more of a strain on the seemingly tireless Duchess.

"Virgie," a familiar voice cooed from behind the door, "I'm ready to go if you are." Instead of waiting for an answer, she opened the door with a bright smile.

Virgil turned around stiffly and nodded to her. Reina always had the perfect disguise. A baggy hoodie, a compression shirt, a beanie, and baggy pants. It worked out well since she had a thin mustache that was usually hidden by glue and makeup.

"Deadname or just a nickname?" he asked, trying to keep from melting under her tired but excitable gaze.

"Nickname. Can we get McDonald's on the way back? I'm hungry and I want some nummy nuggies!" she asked and wrapped her arm around his shoulders, ready to go like a bro.

"Yeah, I was hoping you'd say that," Virgil said and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Reina snickered and nodded. She led the way down the back stage hall to the exit, acting like a tired tech.

"I still can't believe you're Duchess' bodyguard and you haven't seen her naked!" Reina teased in her pre-coaching voice, "I would kill to see those juicy tits! They're perfectly round and bouncy!"

"She's more than just a body, Ree. I have some respect and I don't want to be a creep. Even if I did catch a glimpse, the hell I'm telling you anything, you fucking perv!" Virgil scoffed, aware that some people were still in the area, waiting for a chance to sneak a peek at the star.

"But that doesn't mean you don't want to see her boobies!" Reina jeered and giggled, letting him lead the way into the back parking lot. His car was parked close enough to be visible but far enough to keep nosy fans away from it. There were a few scattered about.

"Doesn't mean I do either," he scoffed. He did, but admitting it could spell death just as much as denying it. And he wanted to stay alive and keep Reina safe and happy.

"You don't want to know what she's packing?"

"She's packing an incredible set of vocal cords and lungs," Virgil said flatly as they passed a large group of fans, "I can't believe you're still trying to figure out what's in her pants! She slapped you when you asked her tonight! And I had to clean up the mess while she left with fucking Nate! You are so lucky I like you enough to get you home after that stunt!"

"It was awesome! That woman could step on me and skin me alive!" Reina swooned as they neared the car, ignoring the disappointed pouts. She really didn't have the energy or patience to meet and greet all of them, and she didn't want to give off a bad impression. That's why she was glad Virgil was willing to play along with her escape plan and do it well.

"Ree you got it bad," Virgil jeered and pulled out his keys, "You need to find someone else to thirst over, because she is not interested."

He unlocked the car and opened the door for her. She shoved him lightly and got into her seat. Virgil closed her door and got on on the other side, tossing his hoodie in the back seat.

"Someone like you? Because I'm already thirsting so hard for you, Mr. Strong Chivalrous Bodyguard!" Reina jeered and stopped him from turning the engine on.

"You know you don't have to keep up the guise now, no one is listening in, and I really don't like this kind of joke," Virgil said and pushed her hand away.

"I'm being serious. You're my best friend, you're hot, and I might have completely fallen for you," Reina said, "I don't just want to suck you dry and then pretend it didn't happen either. Maybe I'm just tired as hell but I don't think I can keep it to myself anymore and I don't want to."

Virgil started the car and sighed. He couldn't look at those beautiful green eyes, framed by dark wavy hair, without his heart racing. He couldn't find the words to tell her that she could never suck him dry, not that he wouldn't want her to try, but he was not enough for her. He carefully pulled out and drove onto the street in silence.

"Ree, you don't know how badly I want you to mean that. But you're a world renowned popstar, a woman with the world at her fingertips who could have anyone else—"

"But you know me, as me, a gory wily imp—better than my own brother," Reina cut him off, "I don't really want anyone else, not now."

"You deserve someone better," Virgil sighed and pulled into the nearest McDonald's drive thru.

"Better? You keep me safe, you go along with my antics, you cuddle me and make me feel better when I don't feel good about my body, you can talk macabre with me for hours, and you always do these little things to make me happy, even if you're not comfortable doing some of them. Like ordering nuggies," Reina argued, "Even if I don't ask you to!"

Virgil wilted and sighed. She was right, and so far out of his league. He just had to get through this one night and gather his wits over a lousy burger. Virgil rolled down the window and pulled up to the speaker.

"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

"Hi, can I get a medium ten piece nugget meal with a sprite and sweet and sour sauce?" Virgil asked, already familiar with Reina's usual order.

"Alright, anything else?"

"A McDouble, p—"

"—meal, medium, with a root beer!" Reina added. She knew damn well that Virgil needed more than just a burger and she knew a trick with root beer and sprite—mix them together and it tastes like a rootbeer float.

"Anything else?"

"No, that's all," Virgil said.

"Alright, a ten piece meal with sprite and sweet and sour sauce, and a McDouble with a root beer. Both medium. You can pull up to the second window."

Virgil pulled forward and pulled out his wallet. He wasn't going to get mad at Reina for butting in. He never really did eat much on tour and he could use the extra calories.

Reina waited silently as Virgil paid for the food and then handed her the bags. Once he got the drinks in the cupholders, he closed the window and drove off, ready to take Reina home and then go to his apartment and breathe easier.

"You're so good to me, I don't think I can do better, Virgil. And I don't want to. If you're not interested in me like that, then you can say it. I'm not Taylor Swift, you won't be the subject of a rejection or a breakup song, or some violent revenge fantasy song. There's nothing you can say that'll make me like you any less."

"And if I told you that I'm trans and I bind?"

"I'll make you pull over and take off the binder that we both know you'd have to have been wearing for at least eight hours," Reina grinned with a threat in her voice. She could and would fight him over this.

Virgil pulled into an empty drugstore parking lot, turned off the headlights, and locked the doors. He was so glad the windows were tinted as he undid his seat belt. He pulled his shirt over his head and then squirmed out of his binder. There was an audible thud in Reina's mind as his chest came free. And then he coughed a few times before pulling his t-shirt on again. She would have been jealous that he was so well endowed if she didn't immediately know that he could be just as jealous of her.

"When I told you you had great boobies I wasn't thinking anything like this! Holy shit you know how to hide them!" she gawked.

"So, uh, now you know," he said and buckled up. He was a little unnerved by the way Reina was staring at his chest with stars in her eyes.

"Yeah, and I still want you to eat my tongue, touch my butt, sleepover all the time, and marry me someday!"

"If you're sure you want to stoop that low—"

"Virgil you have been nothing but kind, sweet, and protective of me. I'm a whiny little diva, if anything you're stooping, not me!" Reina cut him off and kissed his cheek, "Let me drag you down to my level. No dick needed!"

"Let's get you home first, and then I'll tell you how hot Duchess is when she's naked," Virgil said with a smirk and turned on the headlights again, "And how she's packing more than me, even with a packer." He got back on the road, finally relaxing next to her.