#mtemplar

Congratulations!

“W-what do you want to talk about?” he stammered, not meeting her steady gaze.

“I want to know why you put a bond on me.”

“Oh.” He slid down the rock wall, sitting heavily on the ground. Rose moved to sit next to him, her back against the wall. He stretched his long legs out in front of him, tapping his dusty trainers together lightly and running a hand nervously through his hair. “It was subconscious on my part, really, but I can make a guess,” he offered.

“This’d better be good,”  Rose sighed, waiting for his response.

“It’s just… I’ve lost just about everything that’s ever been important to me, Rose.  Anyone that I’ve ever cared about gets taken from me. I don’t abandon my companions - they move on when they’re ready… without me. I was at a pretty low point in my life when I met you, and you changed that, you made me see things in a new way, feel things that I hadn’t expected to feel again - ”

“It’s ok… ” she murmured to him as her heart turned in her chest, moving closer to nestle her hand in his.  

“I… I suppose I wanted to be close to someone, well, not just someone, to you. I wanted to be close to you,” he continued softly. “Before I regenerated - I knew that I wasn’t going to survive, and I imagine that the energy from the TARDIS facilitated things faster than I might’ve wanted, because I would really like to be able to remember actually putting it on you, and - ”

He was silenced by Rose’s finger on his lips. “What does it feel like?” she asked, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears at his fumbled confession. “A bond, I mean. Butterflies in your stomach? That sort of thing?”

“I can show you, if you want,” he said, turning to look at her, his eyes fathomless pools of emotion. “You don’t have barriers, though - I’d have to keep it short.”

“Ok, yeah. Show me.”»

"Oh," the Doctor said in a small voice.

After a moment, he moved away from Rose and began to carefully pace in a small circle, his legs appearing to grow stronger with each step, even without the benefit of his trainers. Rose thought briefly about grabbing his hand and making a run for it right then and there, but the Doctor turned back toward Lyra.

"You can't. Take any of my artron energy, that is," he said, coming to a halt in front of Lyra and crossing his arms.

Lyra looked up at him with what appeared to be mild amusement. "And why is that?"

"My artron energy levels would be off the scale - I've been in the vortex for too long." He nodded, as if that would close the matter.

Lyra regarded him curiously. "Sister Valna has become very proficient at mixing the substitute elixir, Doctor - I am sure that she would be able to compensate."

"No. It won't work. We'll just have to think of something else." He sat down heavily on a flat rock, determination written on his face.

Rose sat down beside him. "But Doctor...I thought you said their substitute was brilliant. Why couldn't they just...um, dilute the artron energy or something like that?"

The Doctor hung his head. "You don't understand, Rose..." he trailed off, staring into space. Rose grabbed his arm and squeezed, encouraging him to continue.

"Back before the war, most Time Lords never left Gallifrey - they had what would be considered 'normal' artron levels. They were able to schedule their regenerations, some could even pick out what features they wanted their new bodies to have. I do envy that - I'd pick out ginger hair for sure...ow!" He rubbed his side where Rose had just elbowed him. "All right, getting to the point. You've probably noticed that I can't...well, control...my regenerations? And that I might be ill for some time after the process?"

Rose nodded. "Yeah, Christmas wasn't very fun, was it? But I still don't understand why you can't help..."

"Rose, I've been in and out of the vortex for well over five hundred years. The build-up of my artron energy would be enough to be dangerous to someone without Time Lord physiology - it could very well kill them."»

"Stoppit."  The Doctor swatted at the robed woman's hand.  "I can do it myself."  He fumbled briefly with the buttons of his suit jacket before sighing in frustration and slumping slightly, allowing the woman to undo the remaining buttons and slowly ease the garment from his shoulders.   Another Sister came forward, taking the jacket and carefully draping it over the back of the wooden chair.

"My name is Sister Melina," the woman said as she busily worked on divesting the Doctor of his clothing.  She had waist-length honey-blonde hair and wore no headdress.  "Please try to relax.  Do not fight us."   Rose bristled as Melina grasped the Doctor's tie and began to undo the knot.  "You will only end up harming yourself, and that would be most...unfortunate."

"Hello - I'm the Doctor.  Nice to meet you," the Doctor said cheerfully, slurring his words slightly.  "You look a bit like Rose."  He leaned forward, peering into Melina's eyes.  "She's prettier than you, though,"  he said in a small voice, closing his eyes and listing to one side.

Rose's eyes widened as she listened - had she heard correctly?  She watched anxiously as another Sister quickly moved into position behind the Doctor, holding up his slumping form while Melina removed his tie and began undoing the buttons of his dress shirt.

"This will be a pleasure, for once,"  Rose heard Melina quietly tell the other Sister.  "We have not had a Time Lord quite this...comely...before."  Rose watched as Melina stroked a finger down the Doctor's chest, fighting the urge to strangle the woman.

"Sister Melina and Sister Riza - enough of your dalliance.  The Time Lord is not your plaything - attend to the task at hand."»

"What's that?" the Doctor responded, his eyes unfocused. Rose caught herself leaning forward slightly for a better look and quickly shifted back. "What is it you want to tell me?" he offered when the silence stretched longer than it should have. Rose squeezed his arm, wondering why she suddenly felt like hiding.

"Sorry, it's just... hard, that's all."

He waited patiently for her to speak and Rose tried to loosen the death-grip she now had on his arm.

"I... I love you. Please don't say anything yet, just let me finish. I mean, I love you and I think this could work, between you and me. I know how much older you are and I feel like I want to run away from you right now, but I'm through with that! Oh God, I sound completely mental, don't I?" she babbled, not wanting to meet his gaze.

"Rose," the Doctor began in a low voice, "I don't think you sound crazy at all, I know -”

"Wait, please," she pleaded in desperation. "I want, no, I need to tell you this, because you said you weren't suited to this. I've never had trouble just talking to you before and here I have something important to say to you and I feel like I'm ten years old!  I don't understand this bonding stuff, but... I want to. I want to learn. I want to learn everything I can about it, from you and with you... because I love you. I don't want to make you nervous around me, or uncomfortable, or push something on you that you maybe don't want or aren't ready for, but I had to tell you. I had to," she said, her shoulders slumping.

"Rose, I understand what you're saying, but there's something I have to tell you, too. My mental barriers - " the Doctor started.

"Whatever you want to do," Rose interrupted, "I'll do it. Whatever you want, I want that too. I want you to be happy, I'll do anything to make that happen for you, just please let me try! Whatever you decide, I'll live with it, I promise. So don't feel like you have to - "

Rose was interrupted by a pair of soft lips pressed to hers. How had he sat up so quickly? He broke the kiss to whisper in her ear.

"My barriers are down."»

Rose considered this for a moment. "You mean, she's not actually going to do another extraction - she's going to try to take his artron like she did in that room with the other Time Lords? By forcing him?"

"Exactly," Lyra said quietly. "Direct exposure to a large release of artron such as that obtained with extraction would be dangerous for any one of us. She only needs a small amount to boost her mental powers in order to harm Sister Ohica. I would hazard a guess that Melina's version of the soporific would facilitate... things without mobilizing any excess artron."

"Then we've got to stop her, now!"

"She may not be able to overcome Sister Ohica, but we would make easy targets for her, Rose Tyler. We will have to wait for an opportunity," Lyra whispered. Rose nodded glumly.»

"No, not quite," Rose affirmed. "Gave me a scare, you did. I didn't know if you were going to make it for a few minutes there. Sister Ohica had to give you the last of their Elixir."

"Oh. I suppose I'm still rubbish at regeneration, then," the Doctor said quietly. "Among other things," he added under his breath. He was silent for a few moments and Rose squeezed his hand. "Where's Melina?" he asked, his eyes quickly scanning the room.

"Um... she's a baby," Rose replied. "Did you know that would happen?"

"I was fairly sure that would happen, yes," he responded, still looking around the room. "She's not in here, is she?"

"No. Sister Ohica took her. She's probably getting her nappy changed, or maybe having a sleep."

"Good, I'm glad." The Doctor shut his eyes wearily. "She'll have another chance, and I'm usually not one for second chances. Maybe she'll turn out differently this time."

"So, um... " Rose changed the subject. "Your trousers are pretty dirty and I think there might be some of that slimy stuff on them. You're gonna get the bed all messy if you leave them on."

"If they bother you that much, take them off," the Doctor replied, his eyes still closed.»