#mta transit

(via Inside the MTA Transit Sign Shop That Makes All of NYC's Subway Signage | Untapped Cities)

1. Pole-huggers: People who hug the poles with their whole body making it so that no one else can hold on to it. If there aren't any seats left and you happen to see one these species, expect to shimmy your hand onto the pole causing you to caress their stomach or any other undesirable places. Either that or expect to huddle together with some complete stranger while hoping that you won't go flying across the train when it jerks forward.

2. Seat-squeezers: People who believe they can fit into any available inch of space left on the seat bench. You could be sitting peacefully in your seat (which you somehow managed to get. Lucky bitch.), have your eyes closed while listening to the lull of your music with about 4 inches of space between you and the person next to you when all of a sudden someone, who is possibly 7'8" and 300 lbs of muscle, tries to squeeze in next to you with all their might. Why?

3. Desperate-seat-takers: People who push, and possibly could shove you down into the tracks if need be, just to get a seat on the train. Maybe they're really tired and they just wanna take a nap, but then if you're so tired, where did you get the energy to push me like you're fucking Hercules??

4. Door-blockers: People who stand by the doors and refuse to move when people are trying to get on and off. But then of course they get pissed off when people start bumping into them or pushing them. GEE, I wonder why they're doing that! It's cause we all secretly decided to pick you to push, right?

5. Stay-putters: this could be classified under door-blockers, but with a slight difference. These are people who just stand wherever on the train and just stay put. They refuse to budge whether it be for people getting on or off the train or when people are trying to move around on the train. Bitch, MOVE!

6. Nail-clippers: people who clip their nails. On. The. Train. Ew, what? Don't you have a house with a trashcan where you could do that? If you don't have a trashcan, invest in one. If you don't have a house, I'm sorry. Find a dumpster.

7. Cellphone-talkers: People who feel that it is necessary to talk on their phone throughout the whole train ride on the top of their lungs about what David, Nancy, or their dog ChiChi did the other day. I don't care? 40 minutes to over an hour with your life narrated by your voice is annoying. Stop.