#mrrrr continued

Passer,

Im so happy you enjoyed your time up in the mountains. It seems like a great get away place - and I know you love time spent relaxing so that seems pretty great. 

So now for another weirdness that I really want to rant about. 

Ive been having weird things with my parents lately, and so I was getting a bit worried about my dad acting as the person doing my marriage prep. He often blurts or brings it up in regular conversation and to be honest it makes me really uncomfortable - as if by knowing more about Mark and I he has something to hold over my head.

So I called his cell phone the other night (rather than the house phone) to talk to him about it. When he picked up I immediately said - hey this is about marriage prep do you have time to talk. 

I went on about how I love that hes both my dad and how I think hes a great deacon for prep - but that I need him to have more discretion between father and deacon mode - so that hes not bringing things up arbitrailiy. 

He starts grumping on about how I should just find someone else to do it - (which was not what I was asking) and then mid conversation gives the phone to my mother. Which i thought was totally inappropriate. 

With any other couple - when they call he walks upstairs to his office and talks to them in private. When my mom asks questions he says Its about marriage prep and she leaves him alone. 

I feel like I should get the same treatment. But apparently he does not. 

He went on to rant until I hung up - when I called my mom to apologize for grumping at her and she goes on about marriage prep - which just made me feel worse because she shouldnt know anything about it. 

In the end she wouldnt listen so I had to give the phone to Mark - who for some reason my parents listen to.

It just makes me so frustrated because this type of scenario happens over and over and over again. I tell my parents about something and they invalidate my feelings by saying that Im being overly judgemental or overly this or that or making a big deal of nothing. And when I try to talk calmly I get cut off or told im being angry when Im just trying to have civil conversation. 

It pisses me off because I solve complex issues at work with no problem - and Im decently respected here despite my age. Friends and coworkers tell me Im really level headed and that I give great advice  and that in general Im laid back but passionate about my work and family. 

So why then is it always such a fight with my parents?

Why do they only listen to Mark?

Why is it they bring up my siblings in EVERY CONVERSATION?

Why cant my problems only be about me and be something legit. 

I called my mom when I was at my lowest standing near the metro tracks. And she told me to get over it and get my work done. 

I told her what Sebastian had done to me and she said to get over it.

I graduated and while other familts celebrated I was in trouble because i had to go get my teeth done and clearly I had always messed everything up

I asked to get therapy and was scoffed at

I asked my brother for a place to get away during school and was yelled at. 

I wanted my internship and my parents fought with me against it. Then once I had it and was overwhelmed they told me it was my fault in the first place. 

Every illness or misfortune is my fault, but every battle I win on my own is apparently due to god and not to me. 

I feel like Amy at work has given more more caring and meaningful guidance. 

i dont know what to think about them. But if they arent willing to change - I kinda feel like I should continue to keep them out of my life. 

Ugh sorry for the huge rant.