#mr hurst

Charles Bingley: hah, I rolled a twelve!

Jane Austen: you are the man of the hour, and the ladies are very jealous that Miss Bennet has captivated your attention for so much time-

Charles Bingley: what can I say, she is a delight! Who could resist?

Jane Austen: you also feel that Caroline is very much admired for her elegance and style, as is Mrs Louisa Hurst-

Caroline Bingley: *fake hair toss* is anyone surprised?

Jane Austen: you see people looking in the direction of Mr Hurst at the buffet with a general air of ‘eh, he looks like a rich gentleman, I guess he is all right”.

Mr Hurst: hey, I am a gentleman and I am married-I won at this game already, let me eat the imaginary Regency fancy food.

Jane Austen: as for Darcy-you are the rudest, most entitled gentleman they have ever met. You barely spoke and only danced only with the ladies in your party-

Fitzwilliam Darcy: so they hate me because I did not care for making introductions? I do not want to dance with someone else.

Caroline Bingley: *waggling her eyebrows* do you?

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *exaggerated disgust* someone else I don’t know.

Caroline Bingley: la-aame. Okay, we are stopping dancing.

Charles Bingley: I mean, you could dance with someone else, it would not kill you-I come near them and say to Darcy, but in, you know, flowery language pertinent to the time period.

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *smiling* you sure do. But, I say, “I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.”

Charles Bingley: *stage whisper* show-off.

Charles Bingley: DM, is there any cute lady I could introduce to Darcy?

Jane Austen: near you there are several young ladies seated, just waiting for a partner-you recognise one of them, a cheerful-looking girl that has been introduced to you as one of the beauties of Longbourn.

Charles Bingley: oh, Jane’s sister, Elizabeth! Darcy! My buddy, my man, look at her! What of it?

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *pfeh* what of it indeed-

Fitzwilliam Darcy: I look at her, I make eye contact just enough to make her realise I have noticed her, and I say to Bingley, “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me”. Then, I walk away.

Caroline Bingley: *silently mouths “tolerable”*

Charles Bingley: *sighs* Heavens.

Mr Hurst: I was standing over my dessert and did not hear that, but I let go an “ooof” anyway. I felt it.

Caroline Bingley: how is Eliza doing?

Charles Bingley: Elizabeth-

Caroline Bingley: I like Eliza better.

Jane Austen: Elizabeth looks a little longer in your direction, then she stands up and goes to her friends on the other side of the room-she is smiling, but the smile is not reaching her eyes.

Caroline Bingley: *eagerly* tell me this action will have consequences, please tell me it will-