#moxwrites2077

The small motel bathroom leaves little space between them when she steps out of the shower. She towels off, doesn’t bother trying to cover herself, what’s modesty between them anymore? “Hm?”

“Old ’Saka dog’s got no idea what you’re made of,” Johnny says. “Jesus. Twenty minutes ago you were all warm and fuzzy and fucking sappy as shit. Now?” he whistles, and makes a single, sharp cutting motion at his chin. “Nothin’.”

V dries her hair. Johnny swings his foot, his boot brushes the outside of her leg.

“If you told me now,” he continues, points at her with the two fingers holding a cigarette, “that you wouldn’t hesitate the zero the gonk if it came to it, I might just fuckin’ believe you.”

V wraps the towel around herself, brushes her hair back, and looks at him. She doesn’t even say anything, her impassive stare is enough. Cold as ice.

Johnny takes a drag and stares right back. He would believe her.

It’s V who looks away, tilting her head towards the door. “Probably going to be ‘warm and fuzzy’ again,” she says quietly. “Want a blocker?”

“Eh,” Johnny flicks the digital cigarette away into nothing, exhales pixelated smoke. “I still don’t trust the guy. And you shouldn’t either.”

“So… what? You want to watch my back?”

Johnny puts too much thought into it, and pretends that he doesn’t. “Nah. Think you got it under control. Spare me, this time.”

V nods, leaves the bathroom as Johnny glitches away.

The motel room is dark save for the city’s lights coming through blinds. Goro doesn’t stir, but V knows that he isn’t asleep. She crosses to the couch and gets the small packet of blockers out of her coat pocket, washes one down with a mouthful of wine from the bottle left on the table.

When she comes back to the bedside, Goro’s eyes are on her.

   When Jackie knocked on the door a few hours later – he’d thought he heard her get up in the middle of the night, but hadn’t worried – V did not answer him. After about five seconds of deliberation, he unlocked the door.

- -

   In the wee hours of the morning V had stirred, drug herself out of bed and to the bathroom, and locked the door.

- -

   He found her slumped between the shower and the toilet, shoulder against the tank with an arm over the seat. Her knees were drawn up leaning against the bowl. She shivered. There was a faint, acidic smell of vomit lingering.

Jackie crouched next to her and put a hand on her knee. When she did not respond to her name, he shook her gently, and felt her tense under his hand.

   “Mmh.” V’s eyes fluttered, opened briefly, and then closed again against the light.

   “V,” Jackie said softly, rubbing her leg. “Hey, hermana, you alright?”

   She lifted her head this time, and with some effort pushed herself to lean back against the wall. Her eyes fluttered again; she put a hand on her brow to shield some of the light.

   “‘m okay,” she mumbled.

   Jackie brushed some of her hair back and laid his hand above hers on her forehead. “You’re freezing, chica.” He felt the side of her neck too, and then took her other hand in both of his. She was cold everywhere. “Come on, let’s get you back to bed. Unless... you gonna be sick again?”

   “Pretty sure ‘m empty,” she replied with a hint of a smile. “Gimme... minute.”

   He thinks about just picking her up, but there’s no easy way for him to get to her in the small space, so he stands and waits for her. When she’s ready she holds up her arms and Jackie lifts her to her feet like a child. For a moment he holds on to her, hands around her middle, to make sure she’s steady.

   V moved slow, but she stayed on her feet. She brushed her teeth at the sink in his room, slowly, as if every movement was an over-exertion. Jackie got an extra blanket down from the cubbie above the bed; he was spreading it out when he heard V’s toothbrush clatter in the metal basin.

   She sucked a breath in through her teeth and doubled over, her hands slammed down on the edge of the sink and clutched it, white-knuckled. Her arms trembled from the force of her grip. Jackie was behind her in an instant, hands hovering before resting gently on her back. He looked at her face in the mirror; eyes squeezed shut and brows drawn down. Her mouth pulled into a grimace briefly when she winced and leaned further over the sink, elbows buckling.

   “V,” Jackie said, “Habla me. What can I do?”

   The sound that she made was between a grunt and a whine, and she shakes her head. Then the only noise was the sound of short, fast breathes through the nose.

   He’d seen her a lot of ways over the years. Never like this.

   After a minute, the episode passed. Or at least lessened. V’s breathing evened out, her fingers unclamped from the sink.

   “Fuck,” she hissed, turning and leaning her hip against the basin. Her knees didn’t buckle, but they weren’t steady either. “Fuck me. Goddamn it.”

   “Jesucristo, V,” Jackie said softly. “¿Estás bien?”

   V groaned again, clutching her stomach. “Yeah,” she gritted out after a moment. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

   Finally, V turned her back to the sink, leaned against it with her hands on her thighs, fingers curled under but not quite fisted. Jackie kept one hand on her back, rubbing her shoulder blade. V was fair skinned in the best light on the best day – now, she looked absolutely pallid.

   Jackie’s worry doubled when she reached out to him. He let her grab his arm and walked her across the room.

   V crawled back into Jackie’s bed. He tucked the blanket around her, and sat down on the edge of the mattress.

   “How bad is it, V?” Jackie asked.

   She made a noncommittal sound. “Not critical,” V replied. “Just... fucking hurts. But… goin’ to a ripperdoc… might be inevitable.”

   “Listen. I’m gonna take you to the best ripper in Night City. He’s in Watson though, so it’s gonna be a minute.”

   V’s eyes were half closed. “You trust him?” she asked.

   “I do.”

   She nodded.

   “Alright chica. I’m gonna let him know we’re coming and get us a ride.”

   Nearly an hour later – fucking traffic – Jackie carried V through Misty’s shop and down to Vik’s clinic. V had made it to the car under her own power but it became clear around the halfway point that she wasn’t going to get out the same way.

Mitch looks up at Val, who's standing a few steps away looking at the fresh graves. "Do you know what it's like to lose your best friend?" Val turns to him, but looks at him only for a brief moment. "Mhmm." She swallows and looks down at her boots. "Name was Jackie."

"Uh-huh." Mitch scratches the back of his head. "How'd he go?" "Like everyone goes in Night City." Her voice is tense, and she looks back to the graves, arms folded in front of her chest.

Shit, he shouldn't have asked her. She clearly doesn't want to talk about it. "Anyway, come on, city girl." Mitch says as casually as possible as he stands up from the rock and crosses his arms. "Help me out with somethin'."

~~~

"Mitch - why me?" Val stands with her arms resting on the concrete barrier and looks into the distance. "Why'd you ask me for help?" Mitch, back against the barricade, looks over at her. "Eh, you seem like a good egg." "I'm serious." She turns her head and looks at him questioningly.

"I don't know, I uh..." He avoids her gaze. "I guess the fact that I'm still here to send him off right - that's thanks to you." Mitch takes a sip of beer and Val shakes her head. Then Mitch continues. "Your paths crossed. Just for a moment... but damn, was it the right one."

"Thanks, but you're wrong." Val says firmly, looking into the distance again. Mitch looks at her from the side. "If our paths wouldn't have crossed, he would be alive." Val adds before taking a sip from her beer bottle.

"What are ya talking 'bout?" Mitch shakes his head. "Talkin' 'bout the truth. Without me... Scorpion would be alive..." She swallows before adding in a weak voice, "...as well as Jackie."

Mitch pushes away from the barrier, places his empty can on the table, and turns to face her. As he eyes her frowning, he sees tears falling down her cheeks. "Hey..." He takes a step closer and puts his cybernetic arm around her shoulders.

Val turns her head away from him so he doesn't see her face. But she doesn't try to shake him off, which Mitch takes as a good sign. "Don't know 'bout Jackie, but I definitely don't blame you for Scorpion."

Val snorts, tears still falling down her cheeks. "Well, you should." Her voice is weak and even though they were silent tears until just now, Mitch can sense her tension. She tries to hold back the sobs, breathing shallowly, teeth clenched.

Mitch takes the beer from her hands and sets the bottle down on the concrete barrier to his right. "C'here." And Mitch turns Val toward him to pull her into a hug. She doesn't return the hug, just stands there, her arms hanging down. But as before, she doesn't shake him off.

Mitch says nothing, just strokes her back with one hand as Val finally lets loose, puts her head on his chest and starts crying and sobbing. As she slowly calms down, Mitch releases the hug and takes a step back, both hands on her upper arms. Val avoids his gaze, looks down. "Sorry... I..."

"It's okay." Mitch eyes her. When he met her a week ago, she was full of energy and cheer. A smile, or to be more precise, a grin on the lips and a sparkle in the eyes. At the AV crash site... sure she was tense there. But now...

"You wanna talk 'bout Jackie?" "I...", Her voice cracks. "Don't know... maybe..." Val looks off into the distance again and turns sideways to lean back against the concrete barrier, and Mitch stands next to her.

Val takes a deep breath. "I almost said he was like a brother. But we made out a few times and it would be fucking weird to call him a brother then." She chuckles low, still crying, and Mitch smirks at her from the side. "But since I don't have any family, Jackie's the closest..." Her voice cracks again and Mitch puts his arm back around her.

"The AV... the guy I needed to talk to... the whole shit started the day Jackie died." Val pauses. She's probably thinking about what she should tell him. Mitch says nothing, doesn't push her. "It's my fault. Without me..." She swallows hard. "I could have saved Jackie... and I could have saved Scorpion... and all the others..."

"Scorpion and the others... I don't blame you." Mitch squeezes her shoulders for a moment to emphasize what he's said. Val shakes her head and lowers her eyes. "Well, one of us, after all." She sobs again and Mitch strokes her back with his hand. "Shh."

"Now I feel bad... sorry." Val looks over at him briefly, but quickly drops her gaze again. "This was for you - for Scorpion and now you're comforting me." "It's okay. You helped me, I help you..." He offers her a small smile.

After a short pause Mitch asks, "Did you ever talk about it?" Val just shakes her head - he had expected that answer. "How long...?" Val interrupts him. "One month." The answer came so quickly, she knows exactly. "Exactly one month last night."

Mitch pulls her into a hug again. “Come on, V. Your a tough girl. You'll manage." This time Val returns his embrace, if only for a moment. "You might be surprised by what you can live through, if you just have someone to talk to about it." And as he pulls back, Mitch kisses her on the head.

---

Her head hurts when she wakes up, and it's pounding around the shard slot with the Relic. When she slowly opens her eyes, the blue glitches do not disappear even after blinking several times. She is lying on her back, seems to be a cot. Her feet are naked, someone has taken off her boots, and she's covered with a light blanket.

Val turns her head to the left. A woman sits in a chair on the opposite wall of the tent, and Val needs a moment to remember. "Panam..." Her voice is weak and thin and scratchy because her throat is so dry. She's thirsty. How long has she been asleep... or has she fainted? "I..."

Panam looks up at her with relief as she gets up from the chair to squat next to the cot. "V, relax, everything is okay." Panam reaches into her pocket to pull out her radio. "She's awake." The deep, husky voice that answers sounds relieved. "Finally." Saul...

Panam puts the radio away and offers Val a smile as she takes her hand. She looks tired. How long did she sit next to Val and watch over her? "How do you feel?"

Val avoids her gaze and thinks about it. She is not sure what the last thing is that she can remember. "What happened?" She asks instead of answering Panam's question. "I remember, I..."

The tent flaps open and Saul enters in such a hurry that Val winces in surprise. She eyes him as he stops in the middle of the tent, breathing a little heavily - did he just run from wherever he was after Panam radioed him? - and looks down at her with a frown of concern. Val avoids his gaze, and Panam squeezes her hand briefly before letting go and standing up.

Saul doesn't move until Panam has left the tent and closed the flaps. Then he goes to the chair and pulls it next to the cot to sit next to Val. She has closed her eyes again and tries to breathe calmly and ignore the headache.

When she feels him take her hand in his, gentle for how calloused and big they are, she opens her eyes again and turns her head to look at him. He's still frowning. "We were worried." Then in a lower voice. "I was worried." Val swallows, which is difficult because of her dry throat. "I'm sorry." She lowers her gaze again, her voice still weak and scratchy. "I don't remember..."

Val closes her eyes as a fresh wave of headache hits her. Saul must have noticed her tortured expression. "You okay?" He sounds so worried. Val shakes her head. "How can I help?" She takes a deep breath. "Water."

Saul lets go of her hand to reach for a bottle on the table behind him and open it. Val props herself up with weak, shaky arms without making it to a proper sitting position. Everything is spinning around her and blue glitches are dancing in front of her eyes, so she closes them again. As Saul puts a hand on her back to support her, Val focuses on his touch and the dizziness slowly fades. She opens her eyes and drinks greedily as Saul carefully holds the bottle to her lips.

Val sighs and leans back on the pillow. She looks down at herself. The blanket has fallen down to her waist and she can see that she's not wearing her own top, but a t-shirt that is a few sizes too big for her. She resists the urge to lift the blanket and look at what else she's wearing. Someone must have changed her clothes, probably because she was sweating.

"You passed out. We took you with us." Saul says after a while in a calm voice. He holds her hand again and his calloused thumb strokes the back of her hand. "Took me... where?" She looks over at him again. "We moved camp."

"How long...?" Val isn't sure she wants to know and doesn't finish the question. "Twelve hours." Saul says, sounding more concerned again. "Shit..." She turns her head away from him.

"You wanna talk about it?" He sounds worried and when Val looks directly at him for a brief moment, he looks confused and uncertain. Val sighs. "About?" "About what's wrong." It's hard to tell, but there's more than concern in his voice. She avoids his gaze, then shakes her head slightly. "No..." His thumb stopped stroking her hand.

"No, I don't wanna talk about it." Val says in a somewhat firmer voice. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When Saul speaks again after a moment, he sounds tense. "You should rest." Val can hear him stand up and feel him let go of her hand. " I'll leave you alo..." She opens her eyes and interrupts him. "No..." Her voice is low, but sounds almost pleading, and she weakly squeezes his hand. Suddenly she has the feeling she would not stand being alone.

Saul sits down again and looks at her empathetically. "It's okay." He lifts his hand and kisses her knuckles. "Sorry." Sorry? For what? She looks at him questioningly. "You don't have to tell me..." Now it's Saul who avoids her gaze. "I'm not yo..." He interrupts himself, but he doesn't need to say it for Val to understand what he means. 'I'm not your input.' Fuck, she doesn't have the energy to have a conversation like that right now - a conversation about their non-relationship status, as well as a conversation about the Relic and the fact she's dying.

"Saul," she says, so that he looks at her again. "That's not why I don't wanna talk about it." He looks at her again, still a little confused and worried, but also a little relieved. "Don't wanna talk at all. I'm just tired." She rolls onto her left side and eyes him. "You look tired too. Were you up all night?" Saul just nods as an answer. Sure, they moved camp, and he doesn't sleep very well, anyway. He must have been really worried... "Stay with me." Val looks at him pleadingly and squeezes his hand.

Saul thinks about it for a moment, then he nods again before pulling out the radio."Gonna sleep a few hours." It's Mitch who answers first. "Well finally, stubborn gonk." "Copy that," Panam confirms, and Val can hear the grin in her voice. Val chuckles low and Saul smirks at her before he stands up and starting to open the buckles of his harness.

When Saul steps out of his pants, lying on the ground now, Val moves back a little, so he can get into the cot with her. Val lifts the blanket over him and Saul wraps her in his muscular arms and pulls her close to him right away. It doesn't take long for Val to fall asleep. This time actual, good, restful sleep and no unconsciousness.

---