#mous rambles

Hans giving Henry his old clothes in KCD1: *insert boyfriend shirt joke here* but here's the thing! Nobles rewarding their servants with old clothes is actually very common! Clothes were super expensive! A regular shirt would've cost a peasant a week's worth of wages. Only nobles could afford regular wardrobe updates to follow the latest fashion trends. So as clothes go out of fashion or get used, they are gifted from subordinate to subordinate, going down the castle hierarchy. (This does mean however that Hans is breaking protocol a bit by gifting his clothes directly to a peasant like Henry, though the fact Henry becomes Hans' squire makes it less unusual.)

Henry sleeping in Hans' room in Pirkstein at the end of KCD1: (apparently, at the end of KCD1, Henry is brought by default back to Hans' room as the saving point) *insert roommate joke here* but this is also a very normal thing! Hell, Warhorse could've gone even gayer while staying historical by making Henry share a bed with Hans lol. Castles back then didn't have many rooms. At most you'd have the master bedroom and a guestroom. Everyone else slept in the kitchen or in the great hall. However, esteemed guests and retainers were allowed to sleep in the lord's chamber and even his bed! This was a very normal thing to do because stone castles always got very cold, so people shared body heat to stay warm. As Hans' page, Henry would be allowed to sleep in the same bed with Hans, and it wouldn't look weird at all. (And Hans for sure would've wanted Henry to join him in bed considering the way he insisted Henry get into the same tub as him at the bathhouse.)

In the context of Hansry: It would make sense. Signalling Hans as “gay” from a modern perspective allows a smoother transition into the hansry romance. It also plays into Hans’ performative… everything really: the nobleman facade, the super straight guy, the manly man. Hans’ emasculation is a means through which he questions his divinely appointed role, a way that forces Hans to let go of his false beliefs about nobility. As Hans discards the idea of class divide, he comes to accept his love for Henry and gains the courage to bridge the gap between them both

In the context of heteronormative culture: it could be a little homophobic. Hans' role is Henry’s biggest supporter, and Henry constantly besting Hans fuels the power fantasy of KCD, and having to rescue Hans plays with the damsel in distress trope, making Hans the “butt of the joke” in a way. In other words, Hans’ emasculation could be the result of homophobic tropes used to reinforce Henry as the manlier, stronger character of the duo

Here's where things become interesting though. If we run with the premise that conclusion #2 is true, we find ourselves with a hilarious situation.

Hans is constantly made to look weaker, less competent, and less reliable than Henry throughout the game. Being a nobleman in constant need of rescue by his peasant friend, Hans is here to enhance the player's power fantasy while playing the game.

Beyond Hans Capon being made Henry's damsel in distress, Hans is written and coded to be Henry's biggest simp! You can steal Hans' food, his bed, his clothes, and he doesn't care! You can be rude with Hans, and more often than not, you'll gain reputation! Hans is always more than happy to compliment Henry! Isn't that crazy?

Like, I see people make the joke, "Hans is always ready to go down for Henry AND go down on Henry" but it's genuinely crazy how much Hans Capon does "tricks on it" for Henry in game😂 Hans is unquestionably Henry's biggest simp!!

On knightly training:

(1) The 7 points of agility: In his 15th century manual, Der Ritterspiegel, Johannes Rothe describes 7 skills a knight must master. These are horse riding, swimming and diving, shooting different types of weapons, climbing, wrestling, fencing, and long jumping (and their extension, tournament participation).

Obviously, this is a very idealized standard for knights, but knowing how idealistic Hans is, I'm certain he put in the work to learn those things properly! We see Hans do pretty much all these things throughout both games, with the exceptions of long jumping and athletic climbing (I don't really count ladders lol).

(2) A knight's physical fitness: As we reach the 15th century, full plate armour becomes very prominent in high noble circles! A fully equipped knight thus carries at least 40 pounds of steel during battle, an amount that can even double when it comes to tournament armour! And it was expected of these knights to get on the saddle without assistance.

Now, the clunkiness of medieval armour has been disproven many, many times, and we know that knights could run, jump, roll, and more while in full suits of armour. 40 pounds is easier to carry when spread across the body! Still, carrying such weight for hours during war is no joke, and you had to be very fit to do acrobatics while armoured.

An account of 14th century French knight Boucicaut describes his incredible physical prowess: the man could do a somersault while wearing full armour sans helmet, jump onto a saddled horse without using the stirrups also while armoured, AND climb a ladder two rungs at a time using only his arms (this time not armoured). (Source: War in The Middle Ages by Philippe Contamine, 1932.)

Now, is Hans a fucking machine like Boucicaut? Probably no 😂 But it does give us an idea of how strong a knight can be. I place Hans at least at the level of "jumping on a saddled horse while armoured without assistance and without using stirrups", which is the minimum for speedy mount and dismount during combat.

(3) Warbow mastery: Hans says himself in KCD1 that he's been hunting since he could walk. An exaggeration perhaps, but it still confirms that Hans has been trained in archery since childhood. This is very important! Skilled archers train for years, and the bows they use have EXTREMELY high tension. We're talking about 80 to 120 pounds of draw weight, which means that, to shoot an arrow, Hans must have the strength to lift/pull around 100 pounds of weight using two fingers! That's crazy upper body strength right here.

(4) Horse riding: Hans Capon doesn't skip leg day either ☝️🙂‍↔️ Knight training means lots of horse riding training. What people often don't know, however, is how demanding horse riding can be on the legs. This might sound strange at first, but we must remember how knights need to make complicated maneuvers with their horses. This means they must engage their legs fully to control the horse and maintain balance, and engage their core to keep their torso upright while holding their weapons--while fully armoured, no less. This means that Hans Capon's muscled legs are justly earned!

(5) Addressing that fraud, Henry of Skalitz 😤: just jokinggg, I like Henry. But still, there are things to set straight!

If we were to be truly realistic, Henry being a blacksmith wouldn't make him that fit, even less stronger than Hans. Hell, Luke Dale himself interviewed modern blacksmiths who make swords using the medieval methods, and they said strength matters much less than proper technique when it comes to smithing (timestamp 00:39:12).

Sure, smithing engages the back and shoulders, but gravity and the weight of the hammer do a lot of the work for you! You can't really compare a construction worker to a pro athlete fighter, if we're doing a modern comparison. I can't really accept Henry being buffer than Hans by sole virtue of blacksmithing 😂 Makes way more sense if Henry gets beefy by fighting through KCD1 (and believe me, I DO like Henry being the wider one between him and Hans okkk, but we have to be honest here a second lol)

Conclusion

Ever since ep 1, we know that Solus struggles with some sort of “demon” haunting him and creating strange illusions to mess with his mind. And we know Solus runs from it the entirety of chapter 1—and actually runs from everything else too: truth, power, the plot itself. Solus refuses it all. All he wants is his home, this small, peaceful home he built with his handful of loved ones, so he *lies*. Constantly. He lies and he threatens people left and right to protect himself and his family. We all know the pot is going to burst eventually though, if Solus doesn’t lift the lid, and it will be *amazing*

Killian is the exact opposite: he on the hunt always. Hunting for monsters, for his legacy, for the truth behind the plotting of the Council. He has so many things to prove, so he’ll always jump and try to grab at any opportunity that will bring him closer to his goal. And we know, thanks to Solus’ insight (and Tom McKay’s dice witchcraft), that Killian is a man with nothing to hide. Hell, he’s actually giving TMI during the whole of chapter 1 by telling everyone that councillor Maeve died lol.