Sep 21, 2023
he looks so thoughtful, like he may have a brain cell bouncing around in there
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he looks so thoughtful, like he may have a brain cell bouncing around in there
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Hi SJ! This might be a bit too personal so please dont answer if it is, but you're one of the few working adults I know that goes by singular they/them. I'm nonbinary, and have identified as such for my entire adult life, but I've never come out in a professional setting at any job and prefer to just work as a "woman". I guess my question is, are you out at work? Do you ask people to use your pronouns? And how do they handle that if so? The thought truly panics me and I feel too adult for that.
I am out at work, yes. I work at a pretty socially conscious place and eventually as it became more common (in said socially-conscious work circles) for people to ask for pronouns rather than assume, people learned mine and respected them. I also did work in implementing institutional gender inclusion initiatives so I think that made my identity more...Prominent. I don’t correct people myself just because that’s too much Work for me, but I’ve found many people are good at self correcting (or letting their colleagues know your pronouns before they use the wrong ones). Having them in email signatures, buttons, work introductions, what have you, can serve as good reminders too if you don’t want to directly correct people.
That’s for coworkers, though. I have a public facing role, and if I get misgendered by a member of the Public I just shrug it off, but that’s just me. I never really wanted my identity to be at the forefront of anything until like...lgbtq+ teens/gnc teens would ask me my pronouns or see that I had them listed and they’d get so happy about it that I realized that it was important for me to be visible for them. That was personally important for me.
I think ultimately it comes down to workplace culture / what support networks are in place there. I’ve felt supported on Matters of Gender at my job, partly because I had the opportunity to directly shape policy in ways that made me feel more supported, which definitely is a privilege not everyone has. I think starting small helps though, i.e. my direct coworkers learned my pronouns, and then eventually my managers got wind of them, and so on and so forth. If not asking directly, I found that people seemed to quietly let other people know, which I definitely appreciated. So finding some allies where you work to start using your pronouns might help take the burden off you when it comes to correcting people. I hope this is something you’ll be able to find where you work, in a way that feels comfortable and supported to you.
Public is fine! Love when you do this every year 💖 TBBTCH would be if my fiance and I can close on the house we've put an offer in on, and it holds us and our pets for years to come... we both start our transitions and get medical help for our various health issues, he starts working full time with benefits and I get the promotion I've been recommended for!! And then we get our dream dog.... a borzoi who we intend to name Ziggy Wizard. And then we get married bc we've transitioned!!!
AHHHHH this made me SO happy, yes, i love this, i love imagining your happy house and your beautiful wedding and your best borzoi boy, ZIGGY WIZARD!!!!!, this is so good.Â
king of the rock mountain
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King of the Pool on this Wet Beast Wednesday
up top!!
someone get this man a modeling gig stat