#mortricia

What is normal?

Normal is an illusion. As Morticia elegantly put it:

But denying normality does not accept that all people are the same, or should be treated the same, or seen the same.

Let me give a quick example. You have two boys- the stereotypical jock and nerd. The jock is good at athletics and people skills, but bad at book learning and tech. The nerd, on the other hand, excels at achademia but can't really run or pick up chicks. Which is better?

Neither. They are equal people, with equally good skills. But does this make them the same?

Will the nerd ever be a track star? Probably not. He could learn to, if he wanted to, but it's not his gift.

Will the athlete ever be valedictorian? Probably not. He could strive to, if he so desired, but it's not his calling.

And that's okay. We can acknowledge people's differences without condemning them. It is MORE condemning to say that everyone MUST be a certain way.

For me, I'm a jack-of-all-trades in the arts and sciences. But athletics will never be my thing, or anything requiring flexibility/motion control. And that's okay. I'm NOT normal, because "normal" people can run and stretch and actually touch their toes. And that's okay.

But for people to refuse to acknowledge my differences is actually kinda harmful to me. In this case, because the issue is physical makeup, if I am forced to be "normal" and do normal things, I will seriously hurt myself. I mean on the "tear ligaments/muscles" scale.

And on another scale...

I am also dyslexic. Severely dyslexic. I kinda got a weird version where I can read properly (sorta) but that's about it. Everything else plagues me. In school, teachers always forced me to do things the "normal" way. They refused to acknowledge my differences from the other kids. I have to do things a bit differently. I memorize differently, I cannot spell (so I type instead), I check my work vastly differently and even do work in a different manner. If I had to do it "normally" I would flunk. And very nearly did all through middle school when I had a disability-hating teacher.

I see many posts here on tumblr raging against people who use the word "normal" or who point out that people are different, and have different skills, and sometimes those skills are utterly useless for a situation. And much as I agree that the non-normal hatred (ableism) does need to go away, the posters efforts seem misguided.

They go so far the other way as to say that everyone is good at anything and that it's hateful to say otherwise. They refuse to see that people are NOT good at everything. Everyone has their gifts and talents and stuff they absolutely suck at. And the reasons for it may be physical, mental, "disability", or otherwise.

Last point, and this time about the thing I see most common. Autism-range defenders go so far the other direction as to fail to see something basic: autistic kids do have issues and those issues can be a hindrance. I have worked with these kids before. They have many, many good traits, as most people know. The sweetness, the energy, the simple acceptance. I know higher-functioning ones (and, of course, the aspergers) have different skills, but I'm talking about the average joe ones, the middle-range kids, the ones I've met. They still need help. They still cannot be left alone, or trusted for various things. They older they get, the more they take care of themselves... but they are also a few years behind their bodies. An eight-year-old is three, etc. This is a FACT.

Denying it is the problem.

If a person needs to be watched, they can be burdensome. Fact. If a person cannot do a math lesson properly, they will slow the class down. Fact. If a person cannot run to save his life, he will slow everyone else down. Fact. Denying these facts changes nothing. Persecuting someone for these facts is wrong, too. Accepting them, and working with them, is the right way to go...