SUMMONING . . . @mortange : meta + family [ meta + a word/name/phrase. ]
it is safe to say that primo is rather family-orientated. while in canon there is very little to suggest this about his character, i portray him in such a light. he has taken the idea of 'family, duty, honour' quite literally and puts his family's needs above his own. often ensuring that their safety and well-being are the best they can be ( though he can be viewed as overprotective ) despite the circumstances they all find themselves in. this in general extends to terzo and secundo as they are his family. nihil and primo's relationship is incredibly strained to the point where primo does not recognize him as his father. i will dive further into his relationships in the post.
primo's concept of what a family is can be skewed at best because of how fractured his own family is. broken would be the more accurate word to use, especially when it comes to the whole reason for his existence: he was the original heir. the entire reason for his birth was to take over his father and his father's father forefathers' legacy, to carry that weight and mantle of the papacy. not to be a family. in my head, the 'emeritus family' has always been fractured and twisted, with each person merely an extension of the current papa and a continuance of the bloodline. nihil makes this evident in chapter two when he speaks about how the bloodline hasn't been broken for millennia. the importance of legacy and lineage seems to play an extended and prevalent part in the lore, thus in my portrayal. but that itself creates issues and skewed ideas about family. similar to the tudor dynasty and henry's obsession with a male heir to continue the bloodline. the papacy is certainly a divine position and title, something akin to being a king.
he certainly knew about this through the histories and collections kept in the clergy's libraries. it was something evident in journals and memoirs that primo saw that it wasn't entirely nihil's fault for the way he was, though it does not excuse his behaviour towards his children.
i like to think that this is a norm in the emeritus bloodline. that often the father has had little to do with raising their children, often leaving it to their wives and/or siblings of sin to raise their progeny. it may change depending on the papa and the era but it comes across to me like this.
as a young boy, primo might of had a relationship with nihil. maybe not on the basic father-son terms but there was something. might have been to ensure that his only son and heir ( at the time ) was being protected, educated, and well-cared for by his mother and the siblings. again, similar to the tudor dynasty and henry viii's relationship with his own son, edward, and making sure he was getting nothing but the best. he was fussed over, used as for the public image of nihil, and constantly forced to be perfect at things. this is one of many aspects that strained their relationship over time.
deep down, i think primo would like his own family. a wife, a child or two, but ultimately: he is terrified. there is a fear that he would become like his own father ( despite that being impossible ) and ultimately pushes against the idea. especially because of the legacy that he was born into. that same legacy would be placed onto his own children, especially a son. another worry would be his wife and the trials and tribulations that comes with being a prime mover. he has seen and read the demands of a prime mover ( to carry the heirs of the emeritus bloodline ) and would worry over how this would stress out a potential wife. it is part of the reason he is reluctant to 'court and wed' anyone, alongside how busy he is with duties and raising his own brothers.
relationships: his father.
primo is the eldest son of papa nihil. mentioned above, they have a very strained relationship. he was never a son to him, simply a child born out of duty. that was evident in any interaction the pair shared, but for a long time primo admired his father. he saw him as someone who was powerful and very 'god-like' in a sense. children, especially young children, tend to admire their parents and primo was no different. prior to the reveal of his father's infidelities, the young anti-pope had a deep respect and adoration for nihil. often sitting politely during sermons and rites, hanging on his every word. a good way to look at it is through song lyrics:
when i was a boy, you were like a god i worshipped / i could hear your voice echo in the halls like thunder / on a mission to prove i was worthy of approval from you, father.
obviously this completely changed when it was revealed nihil was cheating on primo's mother and, even if indirectly, led to her death. that changed primo and his relationship with his father. at seven years old he became distant from him, his entire perception of nihil changing from one of admiration and adoration to hatred, rage and despising him. what kind of a man cheats on his wife ? for years primo couldn't think of an answer, only a face. and that was nihil. the anger never disappears, the wounds never heal, and primo never forgives him for this betrayal. he is nothing but indifferent or angry at nihil afterwards and that only deepens when his brothers are born.
but relationships are complex and this one is no different. at the end of the day, nihil is his father and deep down, very very deep down, primo wants him to be proud. as his sole parent, he wants to hear his father say that he is proud of him just once. it pushes him to follow every rule and purpose that is in place for him throughout his life, never questioning decisions to nihil or directly, and obeying without question. he is the dutiful son learning everything he can, often straining himself and stressing out others because he does push himself beyond what his body can handle ( especially after twenty-five ) because he wants to prove himself to nihil as a worthy son and successor. simply because he wants to hear nihil say 'im proud of you, son'. it's clear that this has and never will happen. another good glimpse of his mindset :
i've been brave, feared, and fearless / ruthless and relentless, just like you / so am i just like you ? / never been anything but your loyal son / been a good soldier, followed your orders / never questioning you once.
primo is torn between hating this man and wanting to make him proud. he is torn between his own feelings and duty it eats him alive daily. but that is the complexity of this relationship and maybe the most complex out of all primo's relationships. this is a man who is meant to teach him to be papa, a man who betrayed him, and his father. even if he never directly calls him father. at the end of the day, nihil is primo's father and he cannot change this fact. he has accepted it even if he doesn't like it.
relationships: his mother.
in canon we know nothing about primo's mother. in my canon we do, even if it's just a little. primo's mother was roselyn, a former sister of sin selected as nihil's prime mover. unlike nihil she took an active part in primo's life and was directly involved in raising her son, much of his attitudes and characteristics come from her. as well as his mysterious illness. the relationship he has with her is more bittersweet than anything because she unfortunately passed when he was seven years old and it left a lasting impact on him. often referred to as 'an angel' for her compassion, she adored her son during the short time they were together. there is a great deal of sorrow and grief surrounding primo that he is slowly struggling to understand because he had no one to turn to. nihil was useless and was simply not there for his son.
it is safe to say that primo admires his mother for her kindness and warmth. something he remembers clearly was how loved she was by others because of this, the young and impressionable primo watching with hopeful eyes. hoping that one day people would look at him the way they looked at his mother. but he is clinging to her memory, especially as he grows older and his memories are already fragmented at best when it comes to his mother. losing a parent that young is a difficult and challenging issue that has lasting effects, especially mentally. there are countless what-ifs surrounding his mother and their relationship. song understanding :
if you could see me now would you recognize me? / would you pat me on the back or would you criticize me? / would you follow every line on my tear-stained face? / put your hand on a heart that was cold as the day you were taken away?
from the little time they spent together, primo was at his happiest. even if his young mind knew he would one day take over his father, he simply couldn't care. there was laughter in his education, joy in his every day life and he never felt unloved. simply because his mother was present and a powerful influence in his childhood. often when duties were dealt with, the pair were found in the gardens. this is where his love for gardening came from ; the memory of his mother. you see, the gardens had belonged to primo's maternal grandfather, who was a fallen angel of god. he had tended to the gardens and restored them to their natural beauty, later teaching his daughter the same and then it fell to primo. everything about gardening he learnt from his mother. there was beauty in the world and he found that is was most predominately found in nature. when she passed, the gardens were gifted to him and he grew roses in her memory. these are fiercely protected and there are very, very few people or ghouls allowed to touch them.
the depth of his grief is unknown even to him. some days he appears fine and chipper, other days he can appear sluggish. thinking back on his mother physically pains the poor man, as he misses her and all the potential that could have been if she remained. too many times he has imagined his mother witnessing him perform the ghost project and he is always scanning the crowd, despite knowing the truth.
i'm tryna make you proud, do everything you did / i hope you're up there with god saying, "that's my kid!"
decades after he still looks back on his mother fondly, even carrying a photo of her everywhere he goes. they both share many features: silvery-gold hair, soft-doe-like eyes, a gentle nature, everything. the only thing they don't share is their eyes, as primo had inherited the tell-tale emeritus heterochromia. he is his mother's son through and through, wishing to continue her legacy through his actions. it causes conflict between wanting to follow the duties of his father and the compassion of his mother, very much a mind vs heart situation.
relationships: his brothers. this does tie to his bonds such as @p0pestar.
another complex relationship but not in the same sense as nihil and primo's own. for context, primo was roughly eleven years old when he became an older brother, a noticeable age difference between them. he was nearly a teen when they were born and he was rather against the idea of siblings, in the beginning. this happens with siblings, especially at this kind of age gap. he was already struggling to get nihil's approval and now he had two siblings to compete against. obviously this never became an issue, it was merely his thinking prior to either of their births. he was more anxious and worried over the little things than anything.
he was one of the first people to meet either brother. this young, blonde-haired, tired-looking giovanni ( his birthname ) was excited to meet his brothers. he had spent time with their mothers prior and was extremely helpful and comforting to both while learning as much as he could when it came to raising infants. he was ready to be the best big brother imaginable. reading as much as he could, spending time with other young children in the clergy, and learning habits and tricks to help his new little brothers. it is safe to say he cried when first meeting both secundo and terzo, holding them in his arms and promising to always look after them. there is an extreme protectiveness over his brothers that only develops the older they all get.
just as nihil had been to primo, nihil was a terrible father to his younger sons. again they were simply additional heirs to his name, more progeny to further spread the word and faith. primo despised this and actively took a very fatherly presence in his brothers' lives. he may have been their brother but it is safe to say he was also their father. primo had grown up without a reliable parental figure in his life and did not want this for either brother, promising to be a positive adult figure in their lives.
primo was always around for his brothers, even when his health slowly started its decline when he was twenty-five — making both brothers roughly fourteen at the time. even then that did not stop him from being a gentle and calm presence around the younger emeritus brothers, always ready to stop what he was doing to assist them. he continues to be exceptionally positive and gentle, never once making either brother feel like they are unable to approach him for a serious discussion or invalidate them.
tied to cas and their portrayal of terzo, primo took an incredibly prominent role in his life from a young age. we have discussed the situation surrounding terzo's birth, his mother, him being the golden child, and primo's role in his life. he is his big brother. simple as that but incredibly prominent and present. because nihil is the worst father in the world, primo is more of a father to terzo. there were times when the third was young when primo had to fill the shoes of father and be dad simply because nihil is terrible at it.
never once can anyone deny the amount of love and dedication the first has for his brothers. they became his world from the moment they made him a big brother, something he wears with more pride than the title of papa. he is their big brother and that is perhaps his most fulfilling and proudest achievement. they are both brilliant men, maybe a little troubled, but undoubtedly themselves in all their chaotic glory. there have been times when primo has expressed disappointment, even anger, towards them but he is proud of them regardless of what they do in their lives. but he worries for them, especially when it comes to the inheritance of papacy.
you see, my primo had been papa for a while. maybe an expansion of ten or more years prior to the ghost project. he had spent a great deal of time reading about the past and the past papas'. especially because of how demanding the role is involving the duties, demands and how little freedom could be found within the title. he never wanted his brothers' freedom taken from them early, so he clung to the papacy despite the toll it had on his health. his decline became evident and clear when he collapsed during a sermon one day, thus realizing that his time as papa had come to an end and would fall to his brothers. and primo hated himself for that. for a long time afterwards, he was disappointed in himself and extremely apologetic to both secundo and terzo as they began preparations for when they would ultimately become papa.
to summarize primo and his brothers' relationship: it is extremely positive and full of dedication. he wants a better life for his brothers and has sacrificed a great deal, including his physical and mental health.
