#morsxcerta

broadway at the beach. 7/3/19

Perhaps it was their shared circumstances that had made him say it, (God, sometimes I wish a priest would just go ahead and banish me to hell, just fucking get rid of me already). Both of them living without breathing, this entire situation that had left them existing without being even close to alive, and honestly, it was hard for Jae to say that he even existed. He existed only as a spirit, as some dumb, floating, transparent soul that served absolutely no purpose on this godforsaken Earth-- but why? God, why him?

And sure, at least he had a legitimate answer to his question, being stuck on the ground to protect his loved ones or something like that, and you feel alright with being dead for some time: the feeling of looking after someone and protecting them meant a great deal right after you’ve found out your entire reason for still existing. It’s a mission, a mission that you’re figuratively willing to die for, but sometimes knowing was worse than being completely ignorant to the entire ordeal.What was worse than knowing the exact reason for not being able to move on, yet not being capable of doing shit about it? Seeing that one person die right before your eyes, almost feeling their last breath of air, but yet-- you’re still here. And that’s when Jae almost lost, he almost lost his entire will to keep his sanity: his loved one had moved on, yet for some reason he hadn’t, and now he had to continue, having to go about every single day with no hour, no minute, not even a second of rest and always knowing that no matter how hard he tried: he’s here forever. He’s done his job, continued existing to protect one person to their very death, and when that day came, he’s still, fucking, here.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

--I do. But, it goes away quickly because I usually just assert myself. 

16. Do you have any tattoos?

--I don’t, but I want one!

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Send me a ‘hi’ and I will put my playlist on shuffle, write down the first line of five songs and give it to you as a poem.