What if Gordon had a slight immunity to the morphine, it's strong for about an hour, then useless?
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What if Gordon had a slight immunity to the morphine, it's strong for about an hour, then useless?

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Real talk; skip over
My doctorās office called me. Apparently the ER called them about my emergency visits and now my doctor wants to see me. I put it off until next week, mostly because I donāt have the spoons, yet, to make the trip by myself to her office, but also because I honestly have no idea what to say to her. What can I say? āI was in agony and had no choice,ā comes to mind, true, but youād think she already knows that, so why does she want to see me? It makes me nervous and anxious, really, and I donāt like that. I donāt like feeling like Iāve done something wrong when I havenāt, especially when it comes to my own damned health. The fact is that the morphine reduction isnāt working. Iām working out, Iām eating better, Iām improving my posture... and yet the pain isnāt going away. If anything, itās clearly worsened. I donāt go to the ER willy-nilly; I go if there is no other choice and Iām desperate. I hate that place. I hate everything about it. And I only go if Iāve run out of options and desperately need help. Iām pretty sure my doctor already knows this, so why am I being dragged in a month early to talk about it? And most of all, why do I feel so fucking guilty over it all? Iāve done nothing wrong... Ugh. I hate being sick, hate depending on doctors, and most of all, hate the feelings both give me.
After literal years of taking morphine despite it having zero effects on my pain, I finally get to stop taking the tablets!!! All that's left is the liquid and I get to stop that soon too. It's taken a long time but I've gone from over 150mg of tablets, patches and oramorph a day down to just 5mg.
I had a rib subluxation last night around 11pm. Marvin was at work, and I wasn't sure what was going on (it could have been an organ rupture) so I called an ambulance. The pain was very bad. Luckily, the paramedics were really good, and except for one bafflingly ableist nurse, it went well overall.
The doctor actually believed that I was in pain and that something was physically wrong (which is rare and astounding), and so they gave me a morphine + gravol combination injection. It was the first time I ever had morphine, so I was worried it might make me sick like the painkiller I had when I got my wisdom teeth out. It didnāt though. It worked fast and was awesome.
After the doctor examined me they ordered a bunch of x-rays to be sure, and that took a bit of time, so Marvin and I got home around 3am. Now Iām still in pain, but they gave me Tylenol 3s, so Iāll be okay. I just never want any of my ribs to do that again.
Can you hear the war-cry? The adrenaline bursts through the riverbanks. Welcome to the skirmish. I canāt feel my legs. Give me morphine, Give me morphine, Give me more! No doubt, this is a tragedy for all, but it ain't over yet. Head's up and thank fuck you're still alive! Thereās still air in my lungs, Still blood in my veins. Weāre part of the last garrison. Still Alive. Thereās still air in my lungs, Still blood in my veins. Weāre part of the last garrison. I wanna lie here and soak up the sun But do not alight here, you cannot outrun āThis could be the endā he said, āthe end my childā So I made good use of my face and I smiled Can you hear the war-cry? The epinephrine plows through the barriers. Welcome to the skirmish. I canāt feel my legs. Give me morphine, Give me morphine, Give me more! No doubt, this is a tragedy for all, but it ain't over yet. Head's up and thank fuck you're still alive! Thereās still air in my lungs, Still blood in my veins. Weāre part of the last garrison. Still Alive. Thereās still air in my lungs, Still blood in my veins. Weāre part of the last garrison. I wanna lie here and soak up the sun But do not alight here, you cannot outrun āThis could be the endā he said, āthe end my childā So I made good use of my face and I smiled Letās toast to the fact we got this far Thereās still air in my lungs, Still blood in my veins. Weāre part of the last garrison. Still Alive Thereās still air in my lungs, Still blood in my veins Weāre part of the last garrison Yeah, you're still alive!
The Last Garrison - Enter Shikari

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