#morph rants

TW: Animal Death

My cat Junior was put to sleep today.

He was sick for a while, since about a month before christmas. We noticed he was losing weight, and when we took him to the vet he was diagnosed with a tumor. It was up against his stomach and several times larger than it, which was why he wasn't eating.

We did the best we could with what we had. We gave him steroids and appetite stimulants, and he sprung back to life, even though he was still shaky. For two months, he ate and was treated like a king. He had fish fillets and chicken, and only the finest of milk and water.

Just a few days ago, he stopped eating and drinking, even with the medicine. It put him through a lot of stress, and we knew this was it, so we stopped. Stopped and cared for him. Sang to him, kissed him until he gave an unsteady purr.

Junior was a beautiful, sweet cat with a gigantic personality. He was always a cheeky shit to the other cats, and would lay on me and purr louder than a motor when I was sad. Even when he lost his sight and could barely raise his head, he still fought to get up just to sniff and headbutt me. I love him, and I will love him forever.

[[MORE]]

I'm. So fucking stressed it's ridiculous! nervously laughs

My sister's cat Benzi has the habit of tearing himself apart when he's itchy, to the point where we had to get a onsie so he'd leave himself alone and so no flies got to where he'd broken the skin. We can't exactly take him to the vet for it, because it's a nervous tic, which isnt treatable, and he's my sister's cat!!! So!!!

My grandma's dog is gonna pass away soon, we can all feel it; hes a doberman pushing 12, and his legs dont always want to work, no matter how excited like a puppy he still is. He's been around since i was 8, i dont think i can stay strong for my grandma, no matter how much i have to!!!

To top it all off, there's school!!! The classic hellscape!! Its like a Pavlonian response, being there makes me panic and feel depressed, abd i just. I dont know what to do. I feel like no matter what i do it will never be enough. I can't handle death, i can't, and i certainly cant handle school on top of it, and an injured animal. Im so stressed and tired and panicked that it just. Hurts. So bad.