#morgalvez

actors!moralvez au where spencer has been in the industry since he was a child because he could memorize his lines and thus play more complex child roles, but his "problem" was his awkward shyness, though his father quickly shaped his awkwardness to be charming and basically beat all the traits he couldn't "fix" out of him

but then when spencer starts falls away from his spotlight while cuter, more charming, and conventionally attractive kids take his spot, his father abandons him, leaving him to take care of his mother while trying to navigate the industry alone

so he becomes the tragic, young star. he starts taking jobs wherever he can get them, works himself to the bone, and starts gambling when he gets old enough in order to make ends meet. he eventually starts doing drugs; they help him loosen up and give him that charming personality he's lacked, giving him that one final push to fame, and he doesn't let anyone close enough to see how his lifestyle is destroying him.

and then there's derek, scouted by his mentor after his dad died, making him "the man of the house" and thinking it's his responsibility to take care of his family; acting pays well if you put the work in, buford tells him, and derek has always been dedicated.

it's slow at first, but once he hits his growth spurt and starts building muscle, derek rises to fame fast, and with his fame comes his sex appeal, something the industry and his mentor have no problem taking advantage of.

and at some point, spencer and derek end up working together, and despite both of their mile-high walls and knack for keeping people at arms length, they get close.

derek is always around when spencer is too high, or drunk, or both to get home, making sure he gets to set on time, holding his life together, while spencer is there after those late nights or mornings after his "clients," helping him put himself back together again, or sometimes even getting him drunk enough to forget. and they grow to depend on each other.

until one day, spencer overdoses. he doesn't tell anyone if it was on purpose or not, but everyone has a theory; the public is all over him, and now he's a liability—people's jobs are on the line—if his self-destructiveness kills him, too many people are out of a job, and the industry deems he isn't worth the risk.

so derek has to make the decision to stay with spencer and sacrifice his career or leave him behind, and it's a no-brainer for him, of course he'd stay. if it ends his career, so be it, he knows his looks can get him plenty of other work, but when he tells spencer that, spencer refuses to let him do that; he refuses to let his friend turn to the work that's been destroying him since he was a teenager and he shuts derek out to stop him from sacrificing his life.

and while these two rising stars seem to be having their careers be tragically cut short, another one is rising to take their place: luke alvez.

after getting injured in active combat, luke turned to acting; the adrenaline, the fast pace, and the pressure are a great replacement, but he's still so far behind everyone else. derek and spencer started when they were kids, they were groomed for the public's eye, and he's a 21 year old veteran using acting as an escape the hole of self-pity, shame, and neglecting himself he fell into after getting discharged.

he's not as fit as he was in combat, between the army's rigorous training and recovering from his injury, of course he isn't, but he views it as part of the reason he's so behind. he can't help comparing himself to the people who were in his spot weeks ago—the body derek's been carefully building since childhood and spencer's skinny charm—so he pushes himself. i needs to be more attractive, stronger, better to be half as good as everyone else.

at some point, luke runs into derek who's still desperately trying to get through to spencer, but his career is still largely in tact, and they're both drunk, probably too drunk and end up in luke's apartment.

luke wakes up first the next morning and freaks out because he's afraid he took advantage of derek, who was much drunker than him (it's too easy to drink too many calories, luke has to be careful), which leads to him having a full blown, spiraling panic attack/flashbacks that wakes up derek.

once derek finally manages to talk luke down, luke feels like he owes derek an explanation and tells him everything about the army, his injury, how he hasn't been coping, his fixation on his body, and asks how derek has survived the industry for so long.

and derek answers honestly: he doesn't know, he never imagined to make it this far or live this long. he talks about how he was recruited, how his body was groomed for sexual appeal since puberty, the "sex work" buford had him doing on the side, meeting spencer; once the damn breaks, he can't stop.

their relationship is slow. derek never officially came out, but he's been flirting with people of all genders for years. luke, on the other hand, is more conservative with his sexuality and private life; he still has things to hide, but they're still something.

and then spencer shows up at derek's door one day while luke is over, sober, saying he's trying to make amends, and derek hears him out. he was never mad at spencer, not truly, but it still stings, and what hurts the most is losing what they were and what they could've been because derek has luke now and spencer isn't stable enough for a relationship right now.

so time passes, and spencer gets better. he renters derek's life, and luke's by extension, he gets his career back, and everything's good.

except derek still loves spencer, it's obvious, and spencer is out and he doesn't keep derek up all night with night terrors and flashbacks, he doesn't exercise excessively or count calories, he's good for derek, at least in luke's eyes, and he tells derek as much.

and derek hears all of that and he's like "yeah, i love spencer, but i love you too, and i would really love to not choose"

so they approach him and ask if he wants to be in their band, and spencer politely declines, saying he prefers to work alone, but they also just hit it off really well that night and the three of them become friends and help each other navigate the industry as small performers

and their lives continue, derek and luke join some other band while spencer's gigs start becoming more popular and his "agent" gets him better and better sets until he's officially made a name for himself and he grows apart from derek and luke, but they still text some times

but the next time they meet up, it's obvious spencer is struggling. he's at least 10 pounds lighter, pale, and high, but when they start to ask about how he's doing, spencer's agent calls him away

more time passes and spencer's becoming more famous, releasing song that sound like cries for help, but luke and derek can never reach him whenever they try to text and call until spencer changes his number

and all of this comes to a head when news gets out that spencer OD'd, and his team gets disbanded, and his agent and everyone else leaves because now he's a liability. everyone except derek and luke, who have penelope track him down to some shitty, off-the-grid, definitely exploiting him for his money rehab facility, get him out of there, and get spencer the actual help and support he needs

they dont talk about luke being trans, because (1) his grandmother would probably drop dead if she knew, (2) luke is not ready for that conversation, still trying to be the perfect teenage girl, and (3) derek isn't ready to acknowledge his internalized homophobia, so they keep up the act and pretend to be perfect and normal

still, that doesn't stop derek from trying to make luke as comfortable as he can while still keeping up their act; he'll call luke his partner instead of girlfriend when he can, give luke some of his clothes, and help him with workouts that build more muscle than what people typically consider normal for girls at the time

and it works well enough, for a bit, until luke shows up at derek's door on easter after spending the day at his grandmother's house, still in his dress and makeup, breaking down because he can't keep doing this.

so derek takes him inside, helps him get changed and wash off his make up with his sister's makeup wipes, and holds him while he cries, but it still isn't enough because his hair is too long and his thighs and chest are too wide and luke hates himself and, with emotions high and his guard down, admits he doesn't want to live like this

and that, losing his best friend, partner, boyfriend terrifies derek more than any homophobia, or church, or what their friends will think because luke has never expressed that he doesn't want to live before

so he recruits his sarah and desiree, who know a lot more than they let on, to cut luke's hair because they're been doing derek's for years now and find some old clothes that actually fit him properly

had the idea for the fuck or die square on my bingo where the unsub who's making them do it always lets one of the victims choose who does what (top & bottom), so when they kidnap derek and luke, luke chooses derek to fuck him because he doesn't want to put derek in a situation similar to buford again