#moralvez

(pspspss you can find this on Ao3 instead, too)

Derek didn't know which stars agreed to align in order for him to meet Spencer, but he was grateful for them all the same.

-

Spencer had done some consulting with the FBI previously, and his reputation was solid by the time he was invited to consult with the BAU.

Derek heard bits here and there about the impressive Dr. Spencer Reid, and Penelope couldn’t stop raving about him when she found she was to ask him for help on a case they were thoroughly stuck on.

She and Gideon had set it up, and in her eyes, this doctor’s only downfall was his incredible aversion to the world of technology.

“I mean, can you imagine a mind like his with computer skills like mine? We’d be unstoppable if he had even half of my talent.”

“They way you keep hyping him up Penelope, I think I’m gonna get a little jealous.”

“Pish posh, my envious angel, he’s not my type.” She stopped Derek with a hand on his elbow, scrutinising him for a moment. “Not my type.”

Derek scoffed, a little confused. Penelope waggled her pen at him, but a look of dismay crossed her face that the fluffy part at the top fell off, barely bouncing when it hit the floor.

“Oh, curses and maledictions and all that.” She leaned down and picked it up, letting out a whine when it wouldn’t just fit back together. Derek covered her hands, and the broken pen in them, with his own.

“I’m sure I could scrounge up some glue around here. Leave it in my capable hands, sweet thing, and I’ll have it fixed before you know it.”

“Aw!” She beamed brightly up at him, letting him take the pen. “I don’t mind if you’re a little jealous, I think.” He laughed as her yellow heels clicked on the floor while she headed off to Hotch’s office.

-

He listed an impressive number of qualifications, and it eased Derek’s doubt somewhat, but not entirely.

They sat at the round table in the conference room, Gideon having rushed in a human pipecleaner before parading him in front of the group. Elle looked at him curiously, and Derek, despite Penelope’s words, looked at him with doubt.

He had an elbow on the table and pressed the end of his pen to his lips, looking over the man rattling off statistics like nobody’s business, as easy as if he was reciting the alphabet.

His hair was scruffy, like he’d been bald up until yesterday and he woke up with it suddenly there , and hadn’t had time to look into how to manage it. His clothes made Derek think of someone cosplaying as a professor, but also resembled Gideon a little.

Upon further inspection, the similarity he drew between Spencer and Gideon was a little odd, since he was inexplicably drawn to this absolute brain .

He followed the line of the man’s jaw, the shape of his lips, and realised his being drawn to this man seemed a little more explicable than he originally thought.

Unbidden, the memory of Garcia staring at him all too knowingly saying ‘not my type’ came to mind.

He snapped out of it, and glanced around the room to see if anyone had noticed his lapse in attention. Elle was looking at him with a raised brow and a mischievous, knowing quirk to her lips.

Curses and maledictions and all that.

-

He wasn’t there constantly, but with each case Spencer was consulted with, Derek warmed up to him more and more. Sometimes, he hung around the office, flitting from desk to desk to offer help or odd little facts. Occasionally, someone from a different department would come over and ask for him, and after confirming it with Gideon or Hotch, he would walk off beside them, spouting out whatever information he deemed relevant to their query.

Derek thought that would be the case again when a partially familiar face peered around the corner, the body following after once they confirmed Spencer was in the area.

They two came up and spoke for a little, and Spencer started looking a little confused. Derek tried a little harder to listen to the conversation then, because that expression wasn’t often on the man’s face for consults.

“Well I don’t see how that would help. If you look at the resources I showed you last time, though, you’d see how they line up.”

“I was just- Sorry, maybe I missed that bit.” The agent looked a little sheepish, and Spencer smiled.

“That’s okay, I’m happy to help. I think I need to stay present here today, so I can’t go out and meet you for it. Maybe you could bring it here and I can highlight those parts and get it back to you another day?”

“Uh, no, that’s alright.”

“Okay, is there anything else?”

“It’s wrapped up, I just, I was curious after the fact is all.” Derek noticed Elle had been listening too, and that she was suppressing a laugh. Or a scoff, knowing her. The agent walked off, quicker than Derek thought they normally did. Spencer squinted after them, muttering a quiet ‘huh’ before sitting on the far end of Derek’s desk.

“Reid are you serious?” He looked up at Elle’s question.

“Serious about what?”

“He asked you to a cafe to look over dusty old papers for a case you’ve already helped them solve.”

He nodded, then pulled up the files he’d left on Derek’s desk earlier. He didn’t have his own, not being a part of the team, so had claimed part of Derek’s.

“Yeah, but Hotch told me he might need me around for geo-profiling today, so I figured I shouldn’t be off in different departments, let alone outside of the building for who knows how long.”

Cluing in to what had happened and what Elle was asking, a pang of jealousy shot through Derek. He frowned, and Elle kept on.

“Reid, he didn’t want to spend time with you looking at crusty old papers.”

Spencer looked back up from the paper in his hands, brow furrowing in confusion.

“That’s exactly what he said he wanted to do. Excluding ‘crusty’ , obviously.”

“Yes, obviously.” Elle leaned back in her chair, casting a look to Derek. Derek shook his head, not really wanting to weigh in while he was learning how he felt about the Dr in question. Seeing he wasn’t throwing his hat in the ring, she jutted her chin out, a new way of explaining it having come to mind.

“Reid, if I want your help with something, I’m not going to ask you to a cafe. I’m going to ask you right here from my desk, like I’ve done before, and will do again.” She patted the case files that Hotch was waiting on her to turn in that she was studiously ignoring. Spencer’s handwritten notes accompanied her typed ones inside them. “He wants to take you out for coffee, and he probably wants to f-”

Derek cut her off with a laugh, tapping his desk to get Spencer’s attention.

“Man, he’s into you, he was asking you out on a date and disguising it as doing work together.”

He considered Derek’s words, tapping the folder on his lap.

“Well, he should have been straight forward, why should I know what he wants if he’s not saying it?”

“A man after my own heart.” Elle laughs, nodding.

Spencer smiles, confusion now gone in lieu of the comfort of familiar social grounds

“I’m not after your heart, and you just want me for my brain.”

Elle got up, walking over to him and bringing a hand up to his cheek.

“You’re exactly right.” They smiled at each other as she slid her hand up to mess up his hair. As she left them in favour of going to the breakroom, Spencer sat there with a please little smile on his face while he fixed his hair.

His hair looked just as messy when he was done with it, just a different kind of messy.

Derek, curious about Spencer even though he didn’t think he wanted to pursue him either, prodded.

“If I didn’t know you two well enough, I’d almost say you were flirting.” He raised a playful brow at Spencer, and he smiled in response. Derek liked the shape of it.

“I’m not her type. And uh, she’s not really mine, either.”

“Oh, and who would draw the eye of our boy wonder?” Spencer stared at him for a moment, and Derek felt like Spencer thought he was a bit slow. Though he did think they gave off a similar vibe as siblings more so than potential lovers.

“Not Elle .”

“Well, I figured. It didn’t seem like it was the agent just in here either, though.”

“No, not him either.” He paused, then looked back down at the papers on his lap as he continued. “I like my men a little more straight-forward.” Spencer’s cheeks were flushed, and Derek’s smile widened. Before he could say more, Penelope came in holding one of the things usually sitting on her desk.

“You know how I loathe other people touching my desk, Derek?” His brows raised at the use of his first name in that tone, and he spun in his chair a little to meet Penelope as she stopped in front of his chair.

“I didn’t touch your desk; what’s this about?”

She flapped a hand at him.

“I know you didn’t, but someone did, and they didn’t even have the decency to pick this little man up after they knocked him off my desk. I was about to put him on a milk carton; I didn’t expect to find him on the floor in halves.”

She thrust a little figurine at him, and as Derek took it with one hand, he took out the glue he’d pilfered from the office supplies closet from his desk for times like these.

“I’ll handle it, doll face, don’t stress your pretty little heart.” He put the broken figurine on his desk and gave Penny’s hand a squeeze.

“So you can fix it now?”

“No, I’m gonna fix it later as an excuse for you to come back and see me before you go home today.”

She beamed at him, leaning down to kiss his cheek.

“I don’t need an excuse to come see you, but that doesn’t mean I’ll turn one down if it’s practically gift wrapped.” 

“I’d even get you a bow for it.” They grinned at each other before she walked away, her heels a bright blue today to match her accessories.

When Derek spun back around in his chair, he noticed that Spencer was gone, and Elle was leaning against her desk facing him, fresh coffee in hand.

“You know, he’s not gonna be able to figure out you’re into him if you’re like that all the time and don’t say anything directly.”

Derek quickly looked around to double check Spencer couldn’t have heard her before waving a hand at her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Haven’t you got paperwork to do for Hotch?”

“ Sure .” She shook her head at him before walking back around to sit at her desk, and before getting started on her work, was the second person to give him a look like he was a bit slow.

Derek knew full well that Elle had picked up his feelings about Spencer, but no one knew anything about Spencer’s feelings, and he didn’t want to try and start anything on unsure footing with someone he had to work with.

Derek didn’t know that he had Penelope’s lipstick mark on his cheek for a few hours, but Spencer was so very aware of it.

By the time Spencer and Derek got close enough for Derek to learn about what kind of people he was attracted to, the two were way too close to each other. Spencer wasn’t a fixed part of the team in that he was only consulting, despite Gideon’s displeasure, but he was at team outings, and in the office often enough. Even when he was there for other departments, he made time to come and say hi to the BAU when he could.

Derek felt like trying to make any sort of move now would be too risky, Especially if Spencer took Gideon up on his offer of joining the team - Derek was preemptively mortified at the idea of being turned down, likely losing the closeness they have, and then having to see him every day thereafter.

He shuddered at the thought of it, and Emily caught the movement.

“What’s got your tits in a tangle? We’re meant to be getting our minds off of things, aren’t we?” She gestured to the drink Derek had on the table in front of him, and he shrugged.

“I’m just a little preoccupied, but I’ll loosen up soon enough.”

“I bet you’d loosen up a little faster if you spoke to the girl who’s been eyeing you for the last ten minutes.”

“Oh?” Derek grinned, turning to see a woman sitting at the bar who had been facing his way. When he caught her looking, she turned away, laughing with her friends.

“Maybe I would.” He’d tried to meet a few people since realising he was interested in Spencer, but the interactions felt disingenuous, and it rubbed him the wrong way. If he was spending some one on one time with someone, they deserved his full attention. The woman looked back at him, coyly, and he grinned.

It had been a long dry spell. Could even be declared an ongoing drought at this point.

He probably could go over, and end up having a nice time with her, but it wasn’t what he really wanted. She  wasn’t what he wanted. At that thought, he looked around for Spencer. It didn’t take long as he was also at the bar, and was smiling at some guy there with him. 

Derek turned back to Emily.

“I think I want a quiet night after how much we’ve done recently.” Emily raised a brow at him, then looked between he and where he was looking before turning back to her. Her lips twitched and she nodded.

“Mhm, okay, and that’s why you haven’t left with anybody the last few team nights we’ve had.”

He looked at her, only partially faking the scandalised look he gave her.

“Emily Prentiss, are you saying that I normally get around?” She held up her hands, placating.

“Hey, I never said it was a bad thing. If you want to spend your nights with any number of beautiful, consenting people, then I can empathise with that.” She waggled her eyebrows at him then took a mouthful of her drink, finishing it. She stood up then, walking around the table to pause beside him, a hand on his shoulder.

“But if you’re not going to take that lovely woman up on her offer of a warm bed for the night, well, I’ll see if I can do anything to console her.” She patted his shoulder with a grin before walking over to the bar, excuse of an empty glass in hand as she struck up a conversation with the admirer.

Derek, now with no one left at the table late at night at a bar, decided it was time to go home. Before he did, he stopped on his way to the door to look at Spencer. He and the handsome stranger had gotten a little cosier since Derek had last seen them, and that familiar pang in his heart pulsed. Spencer looked over to him then, like he’d sensed Derek’s eyes on him. Derek couldn’t look away until someone walked in front of him, breaking the contact. He used the break given to him and left, not wanting to wait around and see how much cosier the two would get.

-

Spencer is in the office again today, but he’s doing the final paperwork for the case they’ve been able to close. It had been a gruelling, and largely sleepless last few nights on the case, but the relief of finally catching their unsub made doing the paperwork seem less of a bureaucratic chore and more a recording of a victory hard-won.

Spencer had gone off to the kitchen minutes ago, and was yet to come out. Gulping down the rest of his now cold coffee, Derek figured he could go for a fresh one.

He walked in in more of a rush than he should have, and made quick work of running into Spencer. The man’s coffee, thankfully cooled a little since it was made, spilled onto his shirt. Derek was mortified.

“I’m so, so sorry, are you okay?” He reached for the paper towel dispenser, pulling a few free to pat them on Spencer’s now wet sweater.

“ Curses and maledictions and all that .” Penelope’s phrase was spreading, Derek realised, and he chuckled a little.

“You’re not burnt, are you?”

“No, I got distracted. Really glad I didn’t end up microwaving the coffee, now.” Derek smiled, looking up from Spencer’s definitely stained clothes to see his face. Spencer was already looking at him, and Derek paused when he became aware of their sudden closeness

Spencer wet his lips before pressing them together, stuttering a few times before being able to say what he wanted.

“As much as I’d love to stand here silently with coffee soaking through my clothes, I think I’m going to look around for spare clothes instead.”

It surprised a laugh out of Derek, who shook his head.

“No, that’s alright, I got you covered. My go-bag is here with some clean clothes, I could get you them now if you want?”

“Some of your clothes?” Derek didn’t know if he should be offended at the surprise in Spencer’s voice - they’d known each other for a decent amount of time now, so it shouldn’t seem too strange he thought.

“It seems only fair considering I ruined yours.”

“I think that was a joint effort. But, okay, y-yeah. I’ll um, borrow them, if that’s okay.”

When Derek got his clothes back in a bag Spencer dropped off a couple days later, he tried so hard not to inhale the scent of Spencer from them. 

He was not always successful.

-

Spencer had been consulting less and less with the team, as there was pressure from higher up for him to either actually join the unit or bugger off. He didn’t want to commit fully to either, so instead, worked with them just little enough to fly under the radar.

As a result of spending less time together at work, the two made more plans outside of it.

Spencer was getting more tolerant of Clooney, and had even slept in the guestroom with the door open for Clooney the last few times he’d stayed the night.

Derek was going a little more crazy at the thought of Clooney waltzing into Spencer’s room at night and the fact that it meant he was even a little jealous of his dog.

When work got harder and the unsub more vindictive, they ended up bringing in a new agent who was already familiar with the unsub’s ‘ handiwork’ .

Derek was immediately smitten.

Luke Alvez felt like a monkey’s paw wish; he was perfect, and sweet, and so incredibly attractive, and so incredibly off-limits as a member of the team. Not only that, but he’d just moved interstate to a new job with an entirely new team - he didn’t need Derek asking him out, he needed a support network of friends.

Derek was now tormented with unrequired, unactionable feelings with Luke at work as well as outside of it when he and Spencer found time to make plans.

-

Derek was forced to blend both worlds of torment, because he couldn’t think of a reason not to include Luke in their intermittent team outings, but he wasn’t going to uninvite Spencer either.

Even if he wanted to follow through on one of those -which he certainly didn’t-, the rest of the team would shoot the idea down unflinchingly. Spencer and Luke were treasured romantically by Derek to be sure, but that didn’t devalue the relationships between the rest of the team and those two.

Making matters worse, Spencer’s style had become more refined with time. With each new bit of self-confidence Spencer seemed to gain, he dipped his toes in some new thing that caught his eye.

Derek was his least smooth and flirty when Spencer had combined suspenders and sleeve garters for the first time.

“It feels too odd, to be without long sleeves. But they fall down during the day.” He’d said. And of course they would; despite Spencer not going on the field with them, and being fairly stationary for his other work, he as a person was a constant flurry of movement. 

“But then Penelope showed me these, and how neat are they?” He had smiled wide at Derek, holding up his arm to show the leather strap and brass buckle holding his folded up sleeve in place.

As he rambled on about the different ways of wearing them, and what kinds of people usually wore them in the past, Derek nodded along. But as he did, he was making a herculean effort to keep his godless thoughts in check. Derek was struggling.

Spencer, as if the fates knew how best to torment Derek, strolled up to their table wearing those blasted sleeve garters again for their team gathering. Devolving further, he watched as Spencer and Luke were introduced, and Luke admired Spencer’s favourite fashion statement in a way that was entirely too tactile.

Spencer’s cheeks were flushed under Luke’s attention, and Derek couldn’t decide who’s place he wanted to take more in the interaction.

Curses and maledictions and all that

Spencer knew his cheeks would start hurting soon, the constant smile on his face bright and radiant as he spoke with Luke.

He watched as Emily lifted her drink, and she copped a laugh from the team when her coaster stuck to the bottom of it. She’d started to complain when Spencer excitedly spoke up.

“Did you know that in the 1700s, when coasters were first thought to be in use, they were made of wood, silver, or even paper mache, in the shape of trays and dishes?” Emily rolled her eyes with a friendly, teasing grin and a loose wave of her hand at him.

“Now I’ve set him off.” Tara lightly smacked her arm, mumbling a ‘hush’ before turning back to Spencer.

“Silver and wood match for the time, I guess, but they sound like they would have been unnecessarily heavy. Now that I’m thinking about it, I thought they’d use cloth.”

“Well see, we use them solely for preventing watermarks and the like from forming on tables. Or companies use them as advertisements, I guess.”

Tara cut in, “That’s capitalism, baby.”

Spencer, with a small laugh, continued almost like he hadn’t stopped.

“But back then it was so that drinks could easily be slid around the table after the servants had retired. Or,” he leaned in and gently touched Luke’s arm, the curly haired man smiling wider, “ coasted , if you will.”

Luke’s laugh was the loudest, and Spencer sensed a similar amount of pride for being the cause of it as he usually did with Derek.

His stomach gave a lurch when he realised, so he quickly finished the rest of his drink to excuse himself to the bar.

He regretted it almost immediately, it was too much alcohol at once for such an infrequent lightweight. So, he hovered at the bar like he was deciding on a drink before ordering to give himself time to feel a bit better before returning to the group.

If it also meant he had time to try and calm his heart a little before being around Luke again, well, that was just a coincidence.

Spencer felt the warmth of a body step up close behind him, and he turned to smile at -he expected- Derek. When instead it was a stranger, he recoiled a little, but tried to keep his expression kind.

“You’re looking a little lonely over here, are you waiting for somebody?” The man had an admittedly nice voice, but Spencer was relieved he didn’t feel anything towards the handsome stranger - he had enough going on with his thoughts about Luke and Derek that he didn’t think he could handle it if he felt even a tiny spark of interest.

“No I uh, I’m with a group.” Vaguely, he gestured towards what Luke, Tara, and Penelope had dubbed ‘the Federal Bar-table of Instigation’. He bit back a smile at the thought.

As the stranger spoke with Spencer, Spencer felt more and more hemmed in. The bar was pressing into his back as he slowly moved back, but he couldn’t find a way to say that he was getting uncomfortable that didn’t feel rude. There wasn’t anything wrong with the interaction, and Spencer was fully aware that were it one of two specific people, he would feel substantially better about it.

All the same, he was grateful to notice Luke walking towards him, eyes moving between Spencer’s face and the person talking to him.

“Hey, man, I was wondering what’s keeping you. Is the line a little long?” Luke lifted a hand in greeting to the person who’d approached Spencer, a friendly corner to his lips.

“N-no, uh, I just hadn’t decided what I wanted.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what I want either.” Spencer nodded, then narrowed his eyes looking at Luke’s empty seat at the table.

“Clearly now what you had last time, you didn’t even finish it.”

Luke’s mouth opened, possibly to disagree, until he saw what Spencer had noticed. He laughed, looking a little red-handed.

“Ha, yeah. I uh, wanted to try something new.” His eyes caught the way Spencer seemed to fidget nervously, even after he waved off the person who’d approached him before. Almost without thinking, he moved to twist around a ring he had on his finger, considering.

“Hey Spencer,” At the younger’s open expression, he continued, “you seem to have nothing to do with your hands. You ever seen one of these?” He held up his right hand, the spinner ring on display for Spencer.

Spencer seemed interested, leaning closer. Luke tried to reign in his smile a little when Spencer was close enough for puffs of breath to his Luke’s wrist.

“No, what is it?”

“Well they’re called a couple things, but usually meditation rings from what I’ve seen. I use it to help me direct my focus sometimes. With how busy your big brain must be, I figure you’d get a lotta mileage from one.” His tone was friendly, and Spencer marvelled at how Luke had hardly met him but had already picked out this ring as something Spencer may like.

“I figure I might, too. May I?” He asked it without thinking, and only when Luke nodded in the affirmative did he realise what he’d asked for.

Awkwardly, and a little hesitant, he brought his hand up to spin the outer band of the ring between his thumb and index finger. He laughed a little, pleasant surprise painting his features.

“This is really cool, how did you find out about them?” Shyness forgotten, he lifted Luke’s hand in his to hold the ring up in better light. He’d not wanted to bother with contacts today, but also couldn’t find his glasses before he needed to leave the house. After examining the ring for a little, he tilted his head back up to talk to Luke again, but stopped when he realised how close he’d gotten. Luke hadn’t managed an answer yet, either.

Just like he’d predicted when he was approached at the bar, he didn’t feel hemmed in at all, but he did feel tingly and embarrassed.

“Ah, sorry.” He let Luke’s hand go, and that the expression on the other man’s face showed no discomfort was a small reassurance Spencer hadn’t crossed any lines.

“It’s no trouble. Say, you want to borrow it for a little?” When Spencer looked like he was about to refuse, Luke spoke again. “Like a try before you buy sort of deal.”

“I feel like I shouldn’t accept.” Spencer was a little disbelieving Luke had even offered, but felt it was genuine.

“But not like you want to turn it down, right?” Luke grinned when it seemed Spencer was hiding something akin to excitement about it. He slid the ring off his finger, holding his hand out for Spencer to take it.

When Spencer brought his hand up under Luke’s, instead of dropping the ring on Spencer’s palm, he pressed it there before curling Spencer’s fingers over it, his own warm hands then covering Spencer’s closed one.

“Wouldn’t wanna drop it in here, huh? We’d never find it.”

He winked at Spencer, and Spencer thought his knees felt a little weak. Quietly, but with a warmth blossoming in his chest like a newly started campfire, he fit the ring onto his own finger and followed Luke back to the table.

It wasn’t until someone commented that they’d both been gone ages and came back empty handed that Spencer even realised he didn’t have anything to drink in front of him.

When he was getting ready to leave, Spencer approached Luke again. He waited until Luke could step back from his conversation with Matt and Derek before lifting his hand up to show off the ring.

“I think I know already that I’ll keep an eye out for my own one of these.” Luke cocked his head, surprised.

“You’re giving it back already?” Confused, Spencer nodded, moving to take the ring off.

“Yeah. I mean, the team doesn’t get to do this too often, and I can’t always come along. Who knows how long it’ll be before you get it back, if not now.”

Luke hummed, but shook his head in the end.

“Keep it. For now at least. What if you change your mind? If you’re concerned about when you could return it, well, I could give you my number?”

Luke would have felt a bit too brazen considering how reserved it seemed Spencer could be, but at the light colour rushing to his face and the smile poorly hidden by the tight press of lips, Luke thought he’d made the right move.

“Yeah, okay.” Spencer nodded. “I’d like that.”

“You sure you’re comfortable with it? Keeping the ring for now, and getting my number, I mean.” Spencer felt a rush of affection for Luke’s consideration, making sure he was actually comfortable, and nodded again.

“I’m sure.” He smiles, meaning it, but already feeling the weight of another unrequited interest settle onto his shoulders.

Curses and maledictions and all that.

Derek has been nursing feelings for Spencer for a long time. Longer than he cares to think about, truthfully. The man’s just so likeable. You wanna smack him upside the head for his smart mouth, but you might also want to kiss said smart mouth.

Well, he certainly wants to. But he’s in too deep with this friendship - they’ve known each other for so long, and shared so much of each other, yet they’ve never shared romantic feelings. Derek feels like he’s losing his mind spending time with Spencer, getting closer and closer without actually making the jump to something more amorous, but he feels even worse spending so much time away from him on cases regardless of the nature of their relationship.

He texts Spencer at all hours while on cases. While they’re leaving for early flights, late at night when they’re getting back to their hotel after what feels like another fruitless day of work. In that time when the sky seems torn between night and day, and the dark is losing the battle to daylight that’s hungrily outshining the stars. Spencer answers more than he should when Derek considers what must be a terrible sleeping schedule, and mentions this regularly. But he’s also thankful that Spencer is there to distract him from the terrible things he has to think about all day in order to do a job well done.

He thinks about being in this perpetual ‘will they won’t they’ situation like they’re in a sitcom, but knows they won’t because it’s Spencer and they’re best friends and he feels Spencer doesn’t want someone who is always gone and in danger. He deserves someone who’ll be present.

Curses and maledictions and all that.

Spencer’s words echo in his head and he clutches his phone tight in his hands that are resting on his chest, the phone chiming with Spencer’s goodnight text that just adds another bittersweet barb into Derek’s already bleeding heart.

Luke immediately felt something upon meeting Derek. The more time he spent with the man, the stronger that feeling got. He was trying to push it further down - he was in a new town, with a new job, and was trying to make new friends with the team. He didn’t need to add complications of romantic feelings to the mix, it sounded like a catastrophe waiting to happen.

His efforts of shoving those feelings down felt like trying to push an incredibly buoyant ball beneath the waves, tiring and without reward.

Try as he might, though, those feelings made themselves known in the warmth that filled his chest when Derek took no time at all to learn how he liked his coffee. In the smile he couldn’t help when he noticed Derek had changed his normal sandwich order to the same thing as Luke’s, going halves in the food when Luke had declined the offer to go out and eat when he wanted to focus on his work instead. They unfurled large and lingering when Derek’s hand clasped his shoulder, a smile on the man’s face as he commended Luke on good work. Derek was so physical in his interactions, and Luke was suffering to his heart’s content and limits over it.

Curses and maledictions and all that.

Penelope’s phrase came through his mind, she’d used it when he wished her a good day and asked what she wished him in return. He figured he’d incorporate it into his vocabulary, even use it on her when given the chance. He felt resigned in the fact that it was much more applicable to his life that he originally thought it might be.

-

Derek, Emily, and Luke were all sitting in the hotel lobby, trying to wind down from the case they just finished work on before laying down in bed. Though unspoken, they all knew that if they couldn’t take their minds off of the lives lost before they could catch their killer, thoughts about them would plague their sleep.

Or lack thereof.

Emily was talking about something Tara had said before abandoning them for her own room, and had laid back in the recliner at some point in her uncomfortable looking armchair. She’d subtly rushed to it after seeing the limited array of seating, leaving Derek and Luke to take the two-seater couch angled toward her. Their knees were touching, and the electricity crackling up their legs and into their chests as a result of it, while nearly intolerable, was deliciously addictive for them both. Derek suppressed a sigh when he thought of this same feeling hanging around him when he was with Spencer. He was in deep for his two best friends, and felt terribly trapped for it. He was distracted by Luke’s phone chiming, and couldn’t help but smile at the quiet laugh pulled from the curly haired man beside him.

“What, you got somebody sweet texting you from home?” Emily had a teasing smile on, using her legs to push on the leg-rest of the recliner and bringing the back of her chair back up to a sitting position, invested in potential gossip to share with Penelope.

“Nah, nothing like that. It’s just Spencer.” While the words themselves were harmless, the tone and softness of the expression Luke had lead Derek to believe there was more to it than ‘ just Spencer ’ for him. He felt a confusing spasm in his chest, was he jealous at Luke getting texts from Spencer instead of him, or jealous that it was Spencer giving cause for the puppy-in-love look Luke currently had and not him?

Emily had huffed and pushed the chair back so she could lay down, less interested in the topic, but still listening intently.

He didn’t take part in the conversation Luke and Emily were having then, too distracted with the possibility that maybe he wasn’t the only one struggling with feelings for Spencer.

Where did it leave him, that both he and Luke may be in love with Spencer? His heart wrenched at the thought of seeing the two of them without him, and suddenly all those bittersweet barbs digging in seemed definitively more bitter than sweet.

Troubled, yet successfully distracted from the day’s work, he excused himself to his room. Emily looked at him, too scrutinising and knowing for his comfort. He was too scared that his thoughts might show through if he and Luke looked at each other, so he didn’t look -if he had though, he would have seen equal parts concern and curiosity on Luke’s face.

Derek was caught yet again staring up at the ceiling of his room, fingers laced behind his head as he laid back on the bed.

If he and Luke both liked Spencer, that didn’t automatically mean that Spencer would choose one of them. Spencer might not like either of them, and if that were the case, well, it wouldn’t be too bad a thing to offer up a shoulder for Luke to cry on, would it? An ear to listen. Arms to hold… Or something more.

It was wishful thinking.

But thinking of Luke and not Spencer like that caused an uncomfortable twist in his chest, like he was cheating on a partner. But he didn’t have Spencer, or Luke, and he freed a hand to rub at his uncomfortable chest.

He heard his phone, a quiet noise that still managed to startle him like a bang in the dark quiet of the room.

You awake?

He sighed, and deeply, knowing that though he didn’t want to face Luke in any way while feeling this raw, he couldn’t resist.

Yeah, you alright? It’s pretty late

He licked his lips, his finger nervously tapping at the side of his phone in a way that made him think of Spencer and god, his mind was a mess.

Yeah, I was actually concerned about you. Can I come see you for a moment?

When he tapped out a positive response, he was surprised by the almost immediate reply of a knock at his door. His heart clenched at the thought of Luke outside his door, debating whether or not to knock, wondering if he was asleep already or not, and then texting for permission instead of knocking. He wouldn’t want to risk waking Derek up. Derek knew he probably would have just knocked were their roles reversed.

He got up off the bed and padded over to the door. While the night wasn’t cold, the floor was mean to his bare feet, and he felt a light chill make its way up his body. When he pulled the door open, one of Luke’s arms were up, fingers carding through his hair in a show of what could be nerves, Derek thought.

Luke’s eyebrows rose, his eyes at chest height when Derek opened the door, and they weren’t quick to drag up to eye-level, either. Derek felt the warmth of uncommon shyness, self-consciousness over his half-dressed state being a new and odd sensation for him. He stepped back, ushering Luke into the room.

“What’s up, man?” His voice was quiet as he led Luke to sit on the edge of his bed, there wasn’t much else in the way of furniture in the room. The man sat beside him, silent as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, lifting one hand to prop up his chin.

Derek’s eyes traced the curve of his back, over the ruffled hair at the top of his head. Luke must have been in bed for a little while before coming to his room. Derek was glad he didn’t have hair to give away the fact he’d been tossing and turning, too.

By the time he looked to Luke’s face, thoughts of bringing his hand up to Luke’s head and running his fingers through the dark hair there still clouding his mind, Luke was already looking at him. There was a small smile on Luke’s face, and gosh darn it he wanted to kiss it.

“Something caught your eye?”

Derek was thrown off by the hushed, flirty comment. There was a shaky kind of confidence to Luke’s profile, and it brought the sudden heat in Derek’s chest down to a simmer. Still, he didn’t know how to respond, so he sent a sly little smile Luke’s way and shrugged. Maybe so.

“Well something’s caught my eye.” He continued. He was rubbing at his chin, and Derek wanted to see what it felt like - wanted to smooth his fingers over Luke’s short beard, run his thumb over Luke’s lips, and maybe even follow it up with his own. He realised Luke was staring at him and again forced that boil back down to a simmer once more; Luke was here for something.

“Yeah?” Luke seemed to grin when Derek replied, and Derek was concerned the man would pick up on more than he was willing to share.

“Actually, two somethings.”

“Two? Getting greedy.” Derek certainly felt that way, but he was surprised by the seriousness Luke’s voice took on.

“Don’t I know it.” He straightened his back, letting his hands come to rest on his lap. “I’ve been thinking I might have noticed something that could be incredible, but I’ve also been thinking I might be imagining seeing something incredible and could ruin things by mentioning it.”

Derek sucked in a breath, eyes widening a bit. He kept his eyes on Luke’s hands, not wanting to give away anything in case what was on his mind was different to what Luke was talking about. God, he hoped it was the same, but it felt impossible.

“Derek, you like Spencer, don’t you?” There was a tight grip on his chest now, hope and anxiety like a vice. But he couldn’t keep the fondness from his voice. Luke saw the positively lovesick look about the man as he nodded.

“Yeah, the kid’s pretty likeably, huh?”

“You don’t say.” After a beat of silence, both men seemingly thinking about Spencer, Luke looked like most of the weight had been taken off of his chest.

“So,” Derek mused, “you like him as well, huh?” Luke nodded, patting a quick little pattern onto his lap with his palms. Derek noticed the ring he’d seen being passed between Luke and Spencer over and over was again adorning Luke’s finger. “I thought you might.”

Try as he might to not sound dejected at the silent agreement, Derek accepted the fact he was selfish, greedy with his feelings. If Luke asked Derek if it was okay for him to pursue Spencer, Derek would say yes, and smile at the two of them with a tattered heart hidden from them both as he watched from the sidelines. His heart seemed to start aching in an anticipatory way, but he couldn’t dare imagine himself denying Luke that happiness.

“Yeah, but like I said. Two somethings.” Already metaphorically hanging the bunting for a pity party, Derek lifted his head to catch Luke’s eyes, the man must have been watching him this whole time. Derek felt and tried to conceal a little shame, because Luke was an excellent profiler.

“Two, huh?”

And Derek, sometimes, might be a pretty bad profiler.

Luke swallowed, his eyes seemed fierce and determined, and filled with desire.

Desire?

When Luke’s eyes slowly, pointedly, lowered from Derek’s eyes to his lips, Derek’s hand twitched a little closer to Luke from where it rested on the mattress. Luke lifted his gaze back up, intentions clear as he leaned in closer to Derek.

Their lips fit together so perfectly it was like a puzzle piece, designed expressly for this purpose. They were soft, and vanilla chapstick mostly covered Derek’s lips by the time they parted.

“Holy shit.” Derek was quiet, and Luke laughed.

“Yeah, ‘holy shit’. Don’t I know it.” Derek laughed in response then, and Luke moved to bump his shoulder to Derek’s.

Derek felt this wild elation, and it lifted his chest like a deep breath after coming up for air. A tingle, like when he hugged Spencer or threw an arm over Luke’s shoulders, seemed to start at his lips, and it spread throughout the rest of his body with startling intensity.

“Derek, I like Spencer, but I also like you. I was stumbling over you the minute I stepped foot in Virginia, then I tripped when I met Spencer. I feel like I haven’t been able to get back up since meeting you both.” He had his hands in his lap again, spinning the ring around on his finger the same way Derek saw Spencer do when he needed to reign in a tangle of thoughts.

Luke was staring down at his hands as he continued.

“I thought that I shouldn’t feel the way I did about you. We’d only just met, and we have a turbulent job to say the least,” Derek nodded.

“‘Turbulent’ is underselling it.”

“And don’t I know it.” Derek chuckled at the repeated words, holding his hand out for Luke’s. Luke gave up on the ring, and gave Derek’s hand a light squeeze instead. “Then while I was there, trying not to moon over you, you introduced me to Spencer.” He shook his head, a look of disbelief taking over his face. “And I find out that while you two are so perfect for each other, you’re not together? You’re just the closest friends I’ve ever seen, and I so desperately wanted you both. ”

Derek rubbed his thumb back and forth on the side of Luke’s hand, nodding along with his mouth curved in a smile he couldn’t keep away. He was sheepish at Luke’s words, and he felt so exposed, but not unpleasantly so. Luke’s voice was just above a murmur, but heavy with feeling.

“I felt greedy, unable to decide which of you I liked, which of you I ‘wanted more’. Felt a little stupid when I realised there was no ‘more’, and it wasn’t a matter of who I liked more. Just a realisation that I liked you both. I couldn’t help it. But I’ve been thinking lately, it’s not something I want to ‘help’. Y’know?”

“I think I do. I think I really do.” Derek brought their joined hands up to his mouth so he could kiss Luke’s. It was so freeing to be able to just do that that he couldn’t resist it when he thought about it. It was obvious how pleased Luke was about it, because it showed in his voice when he spoke.

“I understand, if you’re hesitant. If you don’t want to now, or even in future. But I think I’d like to tell Spencer. If I don’t try, I think I’ll actually, eventually lose my mind over that man.”

Derek let out a sound like a laugh, but it was strangled and emotional.

“I’ve been losing my mind for years over that man, Luke.” Luke chuckled in response, nodding.

“I thought as much.”

When they were headed home the next morning, they were told they could go home after debriefing and the standard paperwork, and additionally have a guaranteed day off. There might be another two days off after since they were due a break, but those weren't a sure thing.

Derek and Luke could hear the rest of the team discussing plans for their newfound freedom, and just quietly held each other's gazes before getting back to what they were doing.

Derek was getting started on his filing already - the sooner he did that, the sooner he could see Spencer. Luke, after a moment, seemed to come to the same conclusion, and pulled out his own files.

"Boy, you two just can't get enough of it, can you?" Tara broke their conversation as she sat down nearby, having noticed their silence in contrast to the chatter on the jet.

Derek gave a smile and a shrug, not really looking up.

"If I get this outta the way, I only have to drop it off then and I'm free the whole day. If you wanna spend extra time in the office before a guaranteed day off? Be my guest." He did look up at the end, grinning when he saw her seriously considering it.

She seemed disappointed when she nodded. "I wanted some kind of break before jumping back into it, but you're right." She paused, shaking her head as she got up. "Emily was right, it sucks when you’re right.”

True to plan, Derek and Luke dropped off their work before rushing out. They both ended up sitting in Derek's car, the engine idling as they remembered to stop and think before running blindly into what was likely an awkward conversation. Derek had messaged Spencer, confirming he was free for a visit.

"Look, I don't know how you did it, but I can't imagine things going so smoothly with three people in the room." Derek was running a hand over his head, worried.

"Do you think just one of us should talk to him to start with?"

Derek shook his head. "No, if we're maybe going to start something between the three of us, I think we should go into it as the three of us."

Luke nodded, laying a comforting hand on Derek's shoulder.

"I mean, you and I got a head start, but I know what you're getting at." Derek chuckled, shaking his head.

"Yeah, okay, we did." He took in a deep breath, letting it out in a huff as he let his head fall back against the headrest.

"I don't want to overwhelm him, any ideas on how to go about this?"

"Me?" Luke laughed. "I was running on hopes and dreams coming to your room, I think it's your turn."

Derek laughed, grabbing Luke's hand so he could bring it to his mouth, kissing the back of it.

"Yeah, okay. Alright, I'll see what I can do. Buckle up, sweetness, we gotta go before I back out, because I do not want to not do this."

"Double negative."  Derek feigned offence.

"I didn't know I was already talking to Spencer." Luke laughed, clicking in his seatbelt at Derek’s words.

"I thought you wanted to go already, come on." Derek pushed his shoulder as he muttered under his breath, beaming.

-

"Oh, you're both here?" Spencer didn't know why he was surprised, the two were friends before he’d even met Luke, but they'd also never been to his house together.

Spencer led them inside as Luke answered.

"Yeah, is that okay?"

"Of course. But uh, I wasn't expecting this much traffic in the house today." He gestured at the mostly free couch before picking up books and knick knacks and stacking them on the armchair nearby.

Done, he seemed to dust his hands off, then turned to look at his guests. They were both smiling at him, then Spencer realised he had made the chair unusable instead of piling the things on the floor or in his room.

"Ah, sorry, just a moment." He moved to start cleaning the armchair, but Derek clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, Pretty Boy, it's fine. This thing is built for three, isn't it?"

"Well, I mean, yeah. But it's a- it'd be a little cramped, wouldn’t it?”

Derek and Luke seemed to share a look before Derek steered Spencer to sit in the middle of the couch.

“I don’t think we’ll mind.” Luke nodded at Derek’s words as he sat down on Spencer’s left side, angling himself to face Spencer a little, their knees knocking together.

Spencer was a little caught off-guard that Derek sat down the same way on his right, and found himself leaning back properly to see them both better instead of perching on the couch like he might normally. That way, he didn’t have to turn his head quite as much to look between the two.

“So, how was the case?” It’d been quiet for a beat, and Spencer felt the need to fill it before he said something stupid. He felt like his IQ dropped when he was near just one of the two, his thoughts becoming messy as his heart seemed to be these days. Sitting here now, between the two of them like he was one of his books between bookends on the shelf, he felt like he’d blurt out something all too revealing.

“Eye-opening.” Was Luke’s amused response, and Spencer turned to see him with a smile that seemed to hold more meaning to it than he could guess at.

“That’s one way to put it.” Spencer turned to Derek then, surprised to see the same expression mirrored on his face.

“What happened?” Almost at the same time, Derek and Luke put their hands on Spencer’s thighs, just above his knees, and his mind almost short-circuited. He wet his lips nervously, and looking at Derek, he saw Derek’s eyes trailing the movement.

Spencer’s lips were parted, some question he was going to ask halted before he started it as Derek’s gaze lifted to Spencer’s eyes, unabashed. Spencer felt a warm, embarrassed flush from his neck to the tips of his ears. Unsure of how to respond but knowing he’d do something stupid and irreversible if he kept looking at Derek, he turned to see Luke instead.

Luke had a small graze on his cheek, and Spencer lifted his left hand to touch it without thinking. Luke leaned into it, and Spencer’s heart fluttered.

“How’d this happen?” His voice was quiet. The moment felt intimate, and he felt like he should be whispering. Like if he spoke loud enough to break the spell over them, the distance he despised and was used to would suddenly lurch back into place between he and the two men either side of him.

“No biggie,” Luke turned his face a little, so his lips brushed Spencer’s palm as he continued. “I just fell while in the field.”

Spencer was thrumming with something he didn’t want to name, and the way Luke’s eyes tilted up at him from where his face rested in Spencer’s palm was surely sinful.

“If I’d’ve known I could get special treatment for a lousy fall, I would have tripped over my own feet as well.” Luke tried to look offended, and his almost pout just meant his lips were more pressed against Spencer’s palm. Spencer couldn’t help but wish Luke would just actually kiss him instead and end this torture. He turned to face Derek again, and his hand would have dropped from Luke’s cheek if Luke’s hand hadn’t come up to keep Spencer’s in place. 

He would have turned back to Luke, too, to see what kind of expression he held, but when he’d looked back at Derek, Derek’s face was closer than he’d expected. Derek had leaned closer, and a little forward, as if he’d moved to see Spencer and Luke better while they were talking. Because of it, their noses were almost touching when Spencer moved to face him.

“Oh.” It was as quiet as his words to Luke, and the responding curve to Derek’s lips was wicked.

Spencer was at a loss for words. One of Luke’s hands was cupping his on Luke’s own cheek, and his other was still resting on Spencer’s leg. Luke’s thumb was rubbing back and forth. It was initially in time with his breathing, Spencer had noticed, but his breathing had quickened quite a bit since then, making them out of sync.

Derek’s hand was also still on Spencer’s other leg, and his breath was on Spencer’s lips now, too. He was caught, and the two were staring at each other. So painfully close, Spencer was thinking, and he couldn’t help but look at those lips, close to his as they were. He thought about them way too much, and oh god, was Derek moving closer?

Without thinking further about it, Spencer closed the space between them, tilting his head slightly as he did. Derek’s lips were warm, and a slight vanilla smell reminded him of Luke’s chapstick.

Luke’s chapstick on Derek’s lips and they’re both so so close and I’m kissing Derek.

A thrill of excitement rippled through him, and he pulled back slightly to see that same wicked grin of Derek’s. He whipped his head around to see an answering one on Luke’s face.

Luke did then, while looking up at Spencer through his lashes, press a kiss to his palm. Spencer shivered, his mouth trying to form words before instead, he leaned in to Luke.

Like he’d been waiting for that exactly, Luke lifted his head enough to meet Spencer’s kiss, and Spencer felt both Derek’s and Luke’s hands tighten their hold just above his knees.

All of the pent up feelings, guilt, and confusion rushed out of Spencer, leaving room for the thrill of excitement and an incredible burst of joy to take up their place.

He smiled into the kiss, and when he was smiling too much and it got inconvenient, he pulled back.

“What? How did you two-”

“I don’t know.” Was Luke’s grinning response. Spencer turned to Derek again, bringing his right hand up to rest on the man’s chest, glad of the freedom to just touch him now like he couldn’t before.

“I think we’ve been close to something for too long without doing anything about it.”

Spencer still wasn’t sure what to say first, and kept starting sentences that he abandoned for new ones without finishing any of them.

Derek kissed him again, laughing before, during, and after it.

“Slow down that big brain, Pretty Boy, and say one thing at a time.”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you too, and I-I’m a little, it’s a lot. A good a lot! But there’s a lot. You know what I mean?”

Luke snorted, but it wasn’t at Spencer. He lifted a hand to run his fingers through Spencer’s hair.

“Spencer, if you’re okay with it, we’d like to try something between the three of us. We’ll take it as slow as any of us would like.”

Spencer nodded emphatically, a disbelieving and wide smile on his face.

“Yeah, yeah of course.”

With some shuffling they did all try to lay down on the couch together to watch a movie. But when they seemed to take turns shifting every few minutes to try and get comfortable, Derek gave up.

“Alright, this isn’t happening. Up, come on.” He stood and then pulled Spencer up by the hand, following it up with a smack to Luke’s arse when he stood up last. Luke laughed and pushed at Derek’s chest. Before they could question his plan, Derek pushed them all towards Spencer’s room.

Not too long later, Derek had moved in the TV and a small table to set it on into Spencer’s room, positioning them up at the end of the bed. While he was moving things, Luke whistled.

“Just look at Mr Muscles setting us up for a throuple movie night, Spence. I think he just wanted to show off his muscles, right?”

“Throuple?” Derek mouthed, turning to Luke with a weird look.

“Yeah, he’s just showing off now.” Spencer agreed, letting out a long-suffering sigh. “You know, he once made Garcia and I do a fitness test we didn’t need to do? He did that just to show off, too. I’m sure of it”

“You didn’t!” Luke laughed, raising a brow at Derek. Derek laughed, holding his hands up.

“Hey, you guys had a good time, right? We had fun together, releasing endorphins together. It was a team bonding experience.”

“Spencer,” Luke leaned in close to him, looking at Derek as he stage-whispered, “I think you and I should get to work on releasing some endorphins together. A bonding experience, if you will, but just with me since you’ve already done that with Derek.”

“Hey hey hey now, you making plans without me already?”

Spencer let out an undignified noise, pushing Luke away as he laughed.