I just got recommended a post that said something like 'I love characters who appear arrogant but that's really a facade to hide that they despise themselves' and
short version, Sebastian Moran
longer version, this is Sebastian Moran, kind of but also not really. I think Moran is arrogant, self-confident, cocky, and beneath that he does despise himself but it's not that straightforward. I think the him that he despises the most is the person he was supposed to be. From a fairly wealthy and privileged background, Eton educated, Oxford educated, steered towards a career as an army officer, maybe expected to go into politics after that, only mingle with the 'right' people, have a wife, have kids (preferably sons), do his father proud, do the Moran family name proud. But he didn't want any of that. He despises the person he was supposed to be but he spent long enough trying (and failing) to be that person that he barely knows who he actually is, who the real him is. He was an 'honourable soldier', but that clearly wasn't for him, it wasn't really him. He turned his back on that life, likely even before he met Moriarty - Moriarty who sought him out and saw the potential in him that maybe nobody else ever saw. It is only with Moriarty, as his employee, as his friend, as his lover even maybe, that Moran becomes his real authentic self. And I don't think he does totally despise that self, it just takes him quite a while to find out who that person is.
(Dare I say this is perhaps why a lot of trans people seem to latch on really hard to Moran, because he was trying to live this life that wasn't really him and he abandoned that to become who he really was, even though it resulted in him being hated and ostracised and ultimately even hunted by society. I don't see Moran as trans but I do see him as someone who... kind of would get it, the trans experience, because he does know what it's like being viewed as someone you're not, he knows the feeling of people having expectations of you just because of how you happened to be born, expectations that do not match up to what you actually feel or want)













