#moonverse

Haseul turns over in the large bed, seeing your side is completely empty. “Babe?” Haseul sits up, terrified that you’re not in bed. Your slippers aren’t at the side of the bed, the pillows don’t have any dents or signs that you even laid down. “BABE?” Haseul throws the comforter off her body, slipper her feet in slippers, almost running off the bed.

“Babe?! This isn’t funny!” Haseul walks out the bedroom, scared, anxious while grabbing her phone to use as a flashlight. The whole home is dark, asides from the sounds of the storm outside, the house is complete silent. Just the white sound of the clocks ticking in the home due to Haseul’s thing for collecting old style trinkets.

“I see why he doesn’t like the clocks now…” Haseul slowly passes by a ticking clock on the kitchen counter.

BANG

A loud crash can be heard outside, a loud thunderclap startling Haseul, screaming like a ghost laid their hand on her shoulder which caused her to drop her phone on the floor. Haseul is squatted down on the ground, covering her head, bracing for potential impact. After a minute of silence other than the rain and ticking, Haseul realized no one is going to bonk her on the head.

“Damn it…” Haseul stands up and picks up her phone from the ground.

1:08 AM.

“It’s late, where could he be?” She stares at her phone then brings it up to shine the light forward but shines at a photo of both you and Haseul. She slowly walked up to the photo and picked it up, she can remember that day like it just happened. The beaches of Jeju Island, the smell of the salty beach water, the sounds of seagulls squawking in the background.

“May the lovely couple say cheese!” The resort worker gets a camera out preparing to take a photo of you and Haseul. Instead of a regular smile, Haseul wraps both her arms around your neck pulling you in to kiss you on the cheek while your face is completely surprised.

Haseul smiles at the memory, it was the first vacation the two of you took alone. She takes a deep breath before putting the photo back on the shelf where she picked it up from.

Kerchunk.

A key turning the front door’s lock can be heard, Haseul picked up a bat that’s leaning against the wall, turning off her phone and getting ready to swing. The door opens and a dark figure walk in, Haseul lunging in and screaming “NOT TODAY YOU BASTARD!”

“BABE?!” You watch your girlfriend prepared to take a hard swing at you, thankfully you ducked instead of being frozen, but it led to a newfound hole in the wall… With a baseball bat sticking out of it. “Haseul?!” You stayed on the floor in shock to your stressed-out girlfriend ready to behead you.

“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry!” Haseul drops to her knees, shocked from who she almost potentially decapitated. “The storm! You weren’t here! The dark! I’m sorry!” In classic Haseul fashion, she starts rambling on about the last half hour, begins to cry like a little baby, well… Your little baby.

“Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay, I’m here now.” You take your wet coat off and move next to Haseul taking her in for a hug. Haseul went from crying to straight up weeping. “DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE THAT!” Your crying girlfriend starts hitting you ever so slightly while you just sit there and take the hits.

Although you couldn’t help but smile.

After a while of trying to get Haseul to calm down, taking the bat out of the wall, and changing out of your drenched clothes, you finally get in bed.

The storm settled down. Real silence has come across your home, you lay down in your spot in bed while Haseul is sitting up scrolling through her phone, assuming to be Tiktok or Instagram. “Honey, come lay down with me.” You tug on Haseul’s shirt, but she ignores it as she’s upset with you for not coming home sooner or leaving any messages.

“Babe?”

“…”

“Honey?”

“…”

“Haseul?”

You took a deep breath and sighed; you knew you had to do it. Moving from your laying position, you sit up and wrap both your arms around Haseul’s waist, resting your head on her shoulder as your breath tickles her neck ever so slightly. Haseul’s straight face starts to break into a small smile as she loves it when you hug her from behind.

Haseul continues to scroll through her phone trying to ignore your presence, but you hold on to her tighter and started rubbing you nose into neck, tickling her even more. Haseul couldn’t resist anymore, she puts her phone down, turns and smiles. “Fine, you got me!” Haseul proceeds to wrap her arms around your neck and begins to assault you with kisses all over your face.

The both of you go down on the bed with Haseul now on top of you, the kisses turn into cuddling, cuddling turn into snuggling. “Try not to swing the bat every time someone goes through the door.” You continue making fun of Haseul for nearly beheading you earlier tonight, Haseul digs her face into your chest trying to hide from embarrassment.

“I told you! I was scared!” Haseul kicked her feet up in the air and started whining as her yell is muffled in your chest. “I know babe, I know.” You chuckle with a smile on your face, you then go on to stroke Haseul’s long brown hair, easing her to sleep. “Mmm, I like that babe.” Haseul is finally relaxed, being in your arms, laying bed with you.

She wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Goodnight Seulie, I love you.”

~~~~~

The chirps of birds can be heard loud and clear, droplets of water fall off the leaves of a tree standing next to the home. The sunshine gleams around the tree’s branches and leaves, birds flying off here, flying in there. The storm has long gone past, leaving a beautiful morning behind.

Haseul then wakes up in her normal side on the bed, slowly opening her eyes. She sits up slowly then stretches her arms out, letting out a loud sigh. After a nice stretch, Haseul looks over to your side of the bed. All clean, untouched, as if no one was laying down with her last night. “Another night, eh?” Haseul feels your pillow with a little smile before getting out of the bed and getting herself ready for the day.

The house was empty, just filled with photo frames and your favourite baseball bat. Haseul comes out from the bedroom dressed and ready to go out for the day, before doing so she goes to her desk and opens a notebook.

After spending a minute writing an entry into the notebook, she then goes on to grab her jacket that’s hanging on the wall next to the door, noticing that there’s no hole in the wall. Haseul smiles as she feels the wall with her palm, it’s like new, like as if it’s never been smashed in.

Haseul puts her jacket and boots on, opening the door and looking back in her apartment before leaving.

“I’ll be back, babe.”

Haseul left her apartment, greeting people in her community as she’s lived in the area for the last few months, with you and her just moving in recently. “Good morning Haseulie!” The flower vender by the building whom both you and Haseul has visited often over the time. “Good morning auntie Hazel!” An elderly woman tending to the flower displays outside the store greets Haseul as she enters the store.

“Off visiting?” Auntie asks Haseul as she’s taking a look at what today’s selection holds. “Yes unnie, I’m going to go see him today before seeing Jinsolie today.” Haseul finds a bunch of white tulips resting in a large bucket with water. “Unnie, can I get a batch of these?” Haseul points over to the tulips, where auntie walks over and grabs a few to wrap up.

“You’re a good girl Haseulie, I’m sure he loves you so much.” Auntie mentions as she wraps the flowers in wrapping paper. “Thank you unnie, I’m sure he would love to visit if he had the time.” Haseul smiled at auntie who is happily finishing the wrapping for the flowers. “Here you go Haseulie, don’t worry about it today. A gift from me to the lovely couple.”

Auntie hands over the flowers to Haseul, not taking “no” as answer. “Thank you unnie.” Haseul bids goodbye shortly after a small conversation.

The brown-haired songstress decided to take a walk to her destination today instead of taking her car, she deemed today’s weather to be perfectly breezy with consideration that it rained like hell just last night.

~~~~~

Haseul arrives at the front gate of the property and seeing the back of a very familiar raven character.

“How did you know I would be here?”

The woman in a black blazer and skirt, wearing high boots turns around hearing the voice of Haseul. “Because of the thunderstorm Haseulie, I know you always visit.” Jinsol says with attitude and a stare, quickly turns into a smile and goes on to hug Haseul. “I always want to be here for support.”

The two friends walk through the entrance of property, a cemetery ground. Jinsol looked around the grounds and sees a few couples and families coming by to pay their respects to their loved ones, just as Haseul is today.

Jinsol looks ahead where the gravestone is set but she sees someone in front of the stone. “Hey isn’t that…?” Haseul started running away from Jinsol, the closer she got to the grave, the more familiar the figure would be.

“YAH PABO!”

Haseul yells out, causing a little bit of a scene making Jinsol cringe as some bystanders are starting to stare.

“YEAH PARK MIN-JOON!”

Your head suddenly shoots up from a praying position to see Haseul marching towards you, to your surprise as you weren’t expecting to see Haseul here so early. “Hi babe?~” Your voice was little shaky seeing a possibly fuming girlfriend?

“Why didn’t you wake me up!?” Haseul puffs her cheeks up while she stomps like a child, while you stand in front of her and chuckle. You pat the top of her head while she’s puffing her cheeks out “You were sleeping so peacefully; I would have hated to wake up you.” Jinsol comes walking up rolling her eyes at the smitten couple.

“Jinsol.” You greet Jinsol after seeing how unamused she is, acting as the third wheel. “Where’s Daewon?” At that moment you realized you poked the wrong button. “Bastard’s shooting with Jiwoo right now.” Jinsol mentions under her breathe, you start to get nervous seeing that Jinsol seems a little irritated with the question.

~~~~~

After spending some time at the cemetery, you decided to drive Jinsol and Haseul over to the Modhaus building before going back to the library for your shift. “How’s things with Daewon lately?” Jinsol in the backseat definitely looks very unamused, Haseul doesn’t think anything of it as Jinsol and Daewon have been rocky since the group came back from tour in September.

“Why don’t you ask the bastard yourself.” Jinsol speaks with attitude, surprising both you and Haseul. “Is something wrong Sol?” Haseul asks while looking back at the angry little betta. “The bastard is too busy to see me, can’t even come for lunch or even visit the dorm. Idiot.” Jinsol starts ranting to herself, she’s so focused on her thoughts, completely ignoring that she’s in the car with the both of you.

“You know you and Dae can always get back together.” And at that moment, something snapped.

“I DON’T WANT TO GET BACK WITH HIM.” Jinsol explodes in the backseat, both you and Haseul shut up and just stare straight on the road. “Who cares that he spends so much time with Jiwoo. Jiwoo this, Jiwoo that. HMPH.”

Haseul has never seen Jinsol this livid before, neither have you.

The car ride has continued in silence before arriving at the Modhaus building. “Hey Sol, I’ll meet you inside, okay?” Haseul lets Jinsol go ahead first, which the Blue Betta just shrugs off since she thinks Haseul just wants to kiss you “goodbye” before leaving.

Both Haseul and you look out the window to see Jinsol walking in the building to make sure she doesn’t have sight of both you.

“We need a plan.”

Haseul just smiles at you.

-----

A/N: There will few spoilers and easter eggs here for all future fics as this really ends Jinsoul's first phase in the MoonVerse.

~~~~~~

Click

You turn on the light switch to your small apartment. It was a mess, old take-out containers, glass bottles of alcohol on the counter next to the sink. You lock your front door, slipping out of your shoes and bringing a plastic bag with a few bottles of soju over to the table. Not even cleaning up, you pull a bottle out and open it to immediately sip from it.

You pull your phone out of your pocket as you take a seat at the table, seeing you have several missed calls from a certain Jo Haseul.

“Oppa, you got to talk to her.”

“She’s not talking to anyone. I really think she’s going crazy over this.”

“Oppa… She’s locked herself in her room, Sooyoung is trying keep her calm.”

These voicemails were all from a week ago. You were a wreck. Everything has come crashing down on you all in an instant. You requested a Leave of Absence from work, which was granted for 2 months.

You couldn’t bring yourself to stare her in the face.

Jeong Jinsol.

“I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE!”

“LEAVE ME, DON’T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!

“GET OUT!”

You believed those were the last words you would ever hear from the woman you love, kicking you out of her life.

*Knock, Knock*

You sluggishly get up and walk over to your front door, opening it revealing a certain silver-haired leader of a 12-member group. She looked at you with a smile, while you felt disgusted and just drank another sip of the soju you have in hand.

You didn’t say a word but turned your back on Haseul and walked towards your living room, leaving Haseul free to enter the mess of an apartment. Haseul walks in and closes the door, going through the hallway and kicking around the trash that’s laying on the floor. “Ugh oppa, don’t you ever clean up?” Haseul starts picking up empty chip bags and cups of ramen off the floor.

You completely dismiss whatever she has said and just took another swig of the bottle of soju. Haseul then puts the trash into the big under the sink in the kitchen and walks over to the couch where your sad ass has taken refuge.

“Why are you here Jo?” You lay the back of your head on the couch, looking at her as tears start running down your face. “I miss her.” Haseul looks at you, taking the bottle out of your hand and placing it on the nearby table. “I miss her too Daewon.” Haseul places her other hand on top of yours.

“I regret not telling her.” Haseul’s voice is toned down much lower than ever, this of course is a hard time to be the leader of the group. “You know if you don’t talk to her before we leave, things will never go back to normal.” The leader sat down next to you, trying to comfort, and hopefully put some motivation to see her.

~~~~~

“WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS WITH HER?” Jinsol yells at you as she enters your apartment, as you are following behind her. “What do you mean babe?” You were growing irritated with how Jinsol is reacting. “Why are you always with Jiwoo.” Jinsol’s voice was lowered, she was not shouting. She was trying to stay calm in this situation, trying to keep herself composed.

“I’m not always with her, Sol. I’m with you almost every day.” You were growing annoyed being questioned by her. “Why can’t you tell me what’s going between the two of you. Jiwoo has been distance with us too, this isn’t a coincidence!” Jinsol is starting to get more suspicious by the moment.

“There’s nothing to tell you babe, I just happened to see Jiwoo.” You put your coat away on the coat rack, proceeding to pass Jinsol in the hall leading to the kitchen. “Can I trust you?” Without hesitation, you answered right away.

“You can trust me.”

~~~~~

“Have you spoken to her?” A voice over the phone asks you about Jinsol. “No… I don’t think I should get near the dorm anytime soon.” You tell this person, very sadly. “Do you want to get a drink tonight?”

You look at your window and see the sun setting down, indicating nightfall is coming. “Sure, I’ll come over.”

“Okay oppa, I’ll see you soon.”

You hang up the phone and got up from your couch, walking to your bedroom to open the closet. It’s hitting once again, everything felt so much emptier than before. It’s been a week, a week that Jinsol took all her things back. A week ago, when Jinsol swore she would never set foot in this apartment again.

You can say that your closet really represents what you feel like. Having lost someone so close, your lover, your best friend, but in the end, you had to do what you had to do. You shake your head to bring some sense to yourself. Trying to not think about the past, trying to not think about the way you lost her.

You put on a jacket, grabbing your wallet and keys on the way out. You receive a text holding details of the new address that you will be heading to.

As you leave your apartment, you look back inside. The lack of photo frames, the endless mess that’s taking up the space inside.

Empty.

Just like you.

~~~~~

You walk up to an apartment, knocking on the door while holding a bag of food and drinks with the other hand. “Who is it?” A familiar cheerful voice can be heard from the other size, you smile as you hear that her voice is still as happy as it could be.

“It’s me Jiwoo.” The door opens to a homey looking Jiwoo.

“You look settled.” Smiling slightly as you see Jiwoo taking the move to a different dorm well. “Come in oppa.” She moves out of the way, letting you in the new dorm. It’s more so a one-bedroom apartment, yet more roomy than your own apartment. Taking in the look of the dorm, there’s still many boxes that have yet to be unpacked.

“Did you call me over to unpack your things?” Looking back at the little peach, but to your surprise, she shook her head. “My assigned manager will come later in the week to help me. I think his name is In-Su?” You shrug and unpack the snacks and soju you brought over.

The two of you sitting at a table in the living room, taking a few shots each and eating little snacks such as chips and roasted nuts. “How’s the new company?” You curiously ask Jiwoo wondering about her wellbeing. “It’s nice, I guess you can say that you’ve been in one agency, you’ve been in all of them. But the CEO… Ree Yong… Kind of a stickler, so into his business.”

Jiwoo continues telling you about the new agency she joined since her relationship with BBC started falling out. “How are you feeling about leaving?” Jiwoo shrugs and leans back a little. “I want to look out for myself, and I’m not leaving the group, it was just a contract dispute.” You shrugged as well as she’s technically not the only one who left.

“How about you oppa?” Jiwoo pours herself another shot of soju, also pouring you one as well. You can hear from the tone of voice that she understands what you’ve been through. “Is unnie still mad?” You just sat there smiling somberly, Jiwoo knew everything that had happened.

The only reason why you had spent so much time with Jiwoo, not telling Jinsol anything was because you were sworn the confidentiality by the new agency she was moving to. Jiwoo asked of you to help her with the move but to keep it a secret from the group until it happens.

“Haseul visited me at my apartment this morning. It doesn’t sound like she’s having any luck with Jinsol either.” Jiwoo can’t do anything other than pout and raise her glass with you. Picking up your glass, you clinked it off Jiwoo’s before the two of you take the shot down.

Meanwhile…

“Unnie, it’s time to eat.” Yerim knocks on the door, opening it to see her unnie, Jinsol still concealed in her bed. “Okay Yerim… I’ll come down later.” Jinsol’s voice sounds broken, a piece of her is missing, you were missing. “Come down soon unnie, you need to eat to be healthy.” Yerim then closes the door and leaves.

Following quickly after, the door quickly opens, causing Jinsol shoot up from laying down. “I said I’ll be-” “Unnie, can we talk?” A tired looking Haseul is confronting the one equally tired Jinsol. “Can I sit?” Jinsol is confused but nods, letting her group leader sit on the bed with her. “Haseul, I-”

Haseul shakes her head and raises her hand. “Just listen to me right now.” Jinsol just stayed silent and stared at Haseul. “Do you know how much of a mess he is right now?” Haseul smiled a little while holding onto Jinsol’s hand. “Well, I can tell you, that the apartment misses you too.” Jinsol snickers a little knowing her ex partner is a real mess.

“Unnie, maybe you should find everything out and talk?” Jinsol looked up to her leader because of course she must be right… Again. Jinsol knew that she had to get some kind of closure, or at least speak to you properly this time.

“I need to talk to him.” Haseul nodded and promptly left the room, leaving Jinsol to do what she needs to do. As expected, Jinsol got out of bed and got dressed. Without a thought in her mind, she leaves with barely presentable sweats, no makeup, only grabbing her bag and jacket.

Sooyoung who happens to be in the living room with her significant other Gungjeun just watches the blonde run down the stairs and immediately out the door. “What was that about?” Gungjeun asks while he and Sooyoung are snacking on chips on the couch. “Bet you a cup of ice cream that it’s Daewon related.” Sooyoung immediately counters with a bet.

“Why do you only make bets when you know you’re going to win.” Gungjeun questions, with Sooyoung give him a pretty smile and tells him happily. “Because nothing will be in between me and my snacks.” Sooyoung says confidently.

~~~~~

Jinsol arrives at your apartment, getting out of an uber. Jinsol was scrambling, feeling flustered, she’s insanely confused of her actions but not as confused of her feelings. She doesn’t know why she’s there, why she’s there to see you. Is to get back together? Is it to clarify why it’s best to break up?

Jinsol breathing heavily, thinking about the last time she was in your apartment.

*Drip*

Jinsol looks up to the sky, it’s starting to get dark. “It really had to rain out of all days?” Jinsol ran towards the apartment, Haseul would totally scold her for not being sensible to bring an umbrella. After taking a deep breath Jinsol enters the lobby still having an extra key you gave her months ago.

In a matter of moments, she’s in front of your door. Jinsol gently knocks on the door still feeling like she should respect your privacy even though she still had your extra key with her. She patiently waits at your door, although one knock turned to another knock. One minute turned to two minutes.

Jinsol knew you would have answered by now, slowly losing all her patience she opened the door with your spare key. “Daewon?” Jinsol called out your name, peeking inside she notices that your shoes aren’t here. “He’s not home?” Jinsol looked around the apartment and damn, it really was a mess.

Jinsol smiles as she remembers all the time that you and she spent, you’ve been in this apartment for years but today, it felt like you’re visiting for the very first time. “I guess I should do something while I wait.” Jinsol tells herself as she takes her shoes off and starts picking up trash all over the floor.

~~~~~

Jinsol has swept the floor, cleaned up around the living room. “Already looking better.” Now Jinsol gazes at her work, keys can be heard from the front door. The door swings open to you and Jiwoo wet from the rain, as she is holding your arm.

“J-Jinsol?” “Oh, unnie when did you get here?”

Jinsol was in shock, you, and Jiwoo? Did it really happen? Two weeks and you were already with someone… You were with Jiwoo. “Jinsol?” Her name, her real name. No more babe, no more Soulie and no more JinJin.

Just Jeong Jinsol.

“Uh… I was just here to…” Jinsol was flustered, she couldn’t think properly. She stared at Jiwoo’s hand around your arm, Jiwoo noticed right away and immediately let’s go of your arm and looked down. “I’m here to return your key.” Jinsol takes the key off her chain and leaves it on the table.

“Wait, Jinsol.” You tried to call her name, but Jinsol rushed out the door, her eyes starting to shine like she’s trying to hold in the tears. “Jiwoo.” Jinsol didn’t bother looking up to Jiwoo. The tone wasn’t cold but more so giving up. Jinsol ran out the door, the tears have come out, the dam has come down.

“Jinsol!” You chased her down the hallway, she reached the elevator, the doors closing before you can call the elevator open. You look back and forth trying to find a way to find her. The end of the hallway, you find the emergency stairs rushing towards them.

Jinsol leaning back on the wall of the elevator, looking up to the ceiling, tears coming down her face. Regretting coming to see you, it should have ended that day when Jinsol left, there was no chance to reconcile and fix things.

You and Jiwoo.

Jinsol should have seen that coming.

The elevator finally makes it to the lobby, the doors open and the tearful blonde inside slowly walks out.  “How could I have been so dumb…” Jinsol couldn’t stop thinking about it, you and Jiwoo being together. The rain is coming down hard although Jinsol didn’t care. She was determined to leave as soon as possible.

“JINSOL!”

Jinsol turns around to see you chasing after her, you didn’t think twice about running through the rain to see the one you care about. “Jinsol, why did you leave?” This new look of concern on your face is noticed by Jinsol, of course knowing you for so many years. “What do you want?!” Jinsol yelled back at you.

“Why did you come?” You searched for answer, she hasn’t seen you in weeks and this is what happens when you two see each other again? “I saw the way she held your arm.” Jinsol looked you in the ear, her red tearful eyes, a look you never seen before. “The way you two were laughing.” You were confused, what did she mean? “How come you couldn’t be there for me like you are for her?” Were you not there for her all the time? You begin to question yourself, when was the last time the two of you went out for a date? When was the last time you had time off from work?

“You were always my priority!” You tried to counter, only wanted to be with Jinsol but work and other things got in the way. “Then why can’t you tell me what’s going on with you and Jiwoo?!” You were quiet, you couldn’t respond to her. “You can’t even answer me that.” With that, Jinsol signalled to a cab that was conveniently come up the street.

“I don’t want to see you ever again.” Jinsol opens the door to the cab seats, and shortly the car drives off before you could react. You were left in the rain, you don’t know what you could have done, what you could have answered. “I should have just told her what happened, whether you were allowed to or not.”

“Oppa!”

You turn around to Jiwoo running with a large umbrella in hand. “You pabo! You could get sick!” Those were the exact same words Jinsol said to you the night you two got together, the night two of you shared your first kiss, the night both of you finally confessed your love for each other.

At that moment it hit you, the tears came out and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You fell on your knees, Jiwoo panicked, threw the umbrella to the ground, and dropped down to you. She held you, she tried to comfort you, she stayed there for you.

~~~~~

“Are you ready for the article to drop?” The CEO of Jiwoo’s new company asks you and Jiwoo as you’re in an office of a small building in Seoul. “How do you think Orbits will take it Yong?” It’s been about a month since what happened, after that you solely focused on work with Jiwoo. “If the trend of Jiwoo’s popularity keeps rising, I don’t see how this can go poorly.”

Jiwoo seemed nervous, you were sitting next to her, and you grabbed her hand. “It’ll be okay Wooming.” Jiwoo looked at you and smiled, her nervousness went away, and all became well.

In a blink of an eye, the article drops.

“LOONA’s Chuu to leave BBC over lawsuit, opts to open a self owned company.”

“Oh my God, oh my God, it’s out!” Jiwoo jumps up as you, the CEO Ree Yong, and his assistant Byeon In-Su. “Ms. Kim, I must ask you to calm down, I believe this will be a successful campaign.” You just laugh at In-Su’s attempt to calm Jiwoo, the years you’ve known her, there’s no way to calm her down.

Jiwoo still staying panic mode, both Yong and In-Su watching as she’s in a panic, but you finally step in. “Jiwoo, shouldn’t you get ready for the opening celebration?” Jiwoo heard you quite clearly and stopped panicking, took a deep breath, and nodded. Yong nodded at you in thanks for calming the young peachy girl “In-Su please take Ms. Kim down dress and makeup.”

In-Su accepts and heads to the door to open for Jiwoo, before leaving she goes up to and gives you a hug. “I’ll see you at the party.” You hug her back and you nod. Both Jiwoo and In-Su leave, you sit down in a chair, sighing slightly.

“Daewon.” You look over at Yong who’s going through his laptop, over the last month you, Yong, In-Su, and Jiwoo have met quite a few times during the month, Yong even meeting a certain bunny we all know and love. “I need to let you know that the rest of the group will be attending the party.” Rather than telling you that they’re attending, Yong is warning you.

You look down, but back up with a small smile. “Well, it was bound to happen.” You knew you must face it eventually, especially working for Jiwoo instead of BBC now. “Is Heejin still pining?” You joke with Yong, he may have a cold and serious demeanour, but he is quite entertained with the shenanigans that have been going on the past month or so.

“Shouldn’t you prepare for tonight?” Yong reminds you as you notice he has a little smirk. “Should I be worried?” You knew something is up, it’s just the matter of what it is. “Here’s the seating plans.”

Table 1:

Heejin (Of course) – Yong – In-Su – Jiwoo – Daewon (You) – Jinsol – Yerim – Jung – Jungeun – Jae-Sun – Sooyoung – Gungjeun.

Table 2:

Hyunjin – Jin-Ho – Vivi – Haneul – Yeojin – Taesuk – Haseul – Min-Joon – Chaewon – Taeyang – Hyeju – Jiwu.

Your eyes widen, looking up towards Yong in shock. “Yong!” You yell in a panic, but Yong stays calm in his chair and shrugs. “You don’t need to show up you know.” The cold CEO casually says, it would be better if you didn’t attend although you can’t leave Jiwoo on her lonesome.

“Looks like I’m stuck.”

Meanwhile…

“Girls, table seating plan just came in!” Heejin calls out the girls while she’s sitting at her laptop, receiving an email from Yong… Well Yong’s business email. “Since when did you get group related emails ahead of Haseul?” Sooyoung walks in eating a pack of chocolate pocky. “Since I started annoying him with Jiwoo unnie.”

“Oh my God…” Both Heejin and Sooyoung stare at the open email and smirk at each other. “Tonight, is going to be fun unnie.” Heejin giggles while Sooyoung can only smirk while eating her pocky. “I think us being in the same table to watch up front is going to be a treat.” Sooyoung says as she snaps a pocky in half in her mouth.

~~~~~

“So, Jiwoo really did start up her own company.” Jinsol casually says as she’s scrolling through her phone in one of the cars taking the group to Jiwoo’s new company’s building. “Yeah, to think this all started with a lawsuit.” Haseul who is pleasantly surprised that Jiwoo was able to pull this feat.

“Are you okay with attending Sol?” Sooyoung sitting in the back with Gungjeun and Heejin, the only reason why Sooyoung is asking in the first place is because she knows for a fact that Ms. Blondie sitting up front has not seen the seating plan, otherwise she would not even bother with this event.

“Of course, Jiwoo is still my friend and one of our members!” Jinsol tries to reassure the members and member’s S/O that she’s 100% okay with being there, though Jinsol isn’t holding a grudge towards Jiwoo, but a sour taste was left in her mouth every time that Jinsol would think of Jiwoo.

“Of course, Sol, we’re all there to support her.” Min-Joon (Haseul’s partner) who’s driving the car, accepts what Jinsol says and believes that she’s telling the truth. Joon looks in his mirror with Jinsol in the refection, the two smile at each other.

~Flashback~

“Have you spoken to him at all?” Min-Joon whose friends with Daewon back in high school, asks their other companion of being in the chaotic lives of the moon girls, Gungjeun, Sooyoung’s partner. “I haven’t, that day Jinsol came back in the rain, it was scary.”

“I tried calling him, he didn’t pick up.” Joon is now in a panic for his childhood friend, he doesn’t show it on his face, but his actions do. Joon is standing in front of the window, staring into the sky. Haseul is worried for both Jinsol and Daewon, a member and a friend who’s worked with them since the beginning and all went to high school together.

“How do you think Jiwoo is doing?” Gungjeun asks out of curiosity, worried for the missing’s member’s wellbeing. “I don’t think Jiwoo is having a good time either.” Sooyoung frowns as she misses her best friend who isn’t in the dorm anymore.

“We just have to do our best to support Jinsol right now.” Joon says looking back at the table consisting of Haseul, Gungjeun and Sooyoung. As they all agree, nodding towards Min-Joon.

~Present Time~

“We’re about to start.” Daewon enters Jiwoo’s change room, knocking first and getting permission of course. Jiwoo looks in her large vanity mirror, with you in the reflection and smiles. “I’m nervous oppa.” You look into Jiwoo’s eyes through the mirror, and you can see the worry in her eyes.

“It’ll go well Jiwoo; you have nothing to worry about.” You walked up to Jiwoo and put your hand on her shoulder, she smiled and pulled up her hand and rested it on yours. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath and looks up to you. “I hope so.”

*Knock knock*

“Ms. Jiwoo, it’s time to greet the guests.” Yong’s assistant In-Su is standing in the doorframe of the changeroom, you and Jiwoo look at each other and know that there’s no going back now. “Let’s go Ms. Kim?” You playfully put your hand out like you’re going to walk the Queen out to her horse drawn carriage. “Let’s go.” Jiwoo says softly taking your hand in the same action.

As you take Jiwoo out to In-Su, you head to the other direction heading to the main hall where the event is taking place. You pull up your phone to look at her contact.

JinJin <3

You never dared to change her name on your phone, but you thought about the last month.

Was there going to be another chance?

Can she forgive you for what happened?

Will she understand?

Does she still love you?

JinJin <3|

JinJin|

Jin|

Jinsol|

It pained you but you eventually had to do it.

~~~~~

“So, you are alive!” You and Gungjeun shares a little man hug, Joon as well shortly after. “I’m sorry for not picking up your calls or messaging, I was more or less preoccupied.” You look behind the boys to Jiwoo smiling and seeing the other Loona members. Although when looking in the direction of Jiwoo, Jinsol happens to pass by and awkwardly makes eye contact with you.

Your smile falls from a normal one to a hurt one, you friends notice this sudden change in vibe. “It’s okay, we just got to get through this night, and we can go along with our lives.” Joon puts his hand on your shoulder trying to comfort you.

But that’s the thing.

You don’t want to go back to a normal life, you want your chaotic life you had with Jinsol. The hugs and cuddles, the adventures you two had together since kids. A person you spent your whole life with and it’s over.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You just had to accept it. But you were extremely weary of what’s yet to come due to some… Unusual seating plans. “Let’s get seated? I believe us three are at the same table?” You try to change the subject as you dread the upcoming event. The boys agree and all sat down and caught up with each other.

Jiwoo and Jinsol has greeted each other but more so respect that they’re members in the same group, there was still a large amount of tension between the two and the rest of the members really feel it as well. “Is it me or does it feel like the place is much smaller than how it actually is?” Heejin quietly asks Sooyoung, who nods and agrees.

The night went on as it should, but the awkwardness is starting to rise high between Jinsol and Jiwoo. The greetings have ended, both Yong and Jiwoo take the stage of the auditorium in the building, everything is going fine and well… Other than the fact that you and Jinsol are sitting next to each other.

The table is silent, more so for the respect of Jiwoo and Yong going through the opening pleasantries with all the ones who attended.

Once when the opening announcements were over, both Yong and Jiwoo join your table while noticing the awkward tension around here. Servers have appeared and started serving guests their choice of chicken or beef, everyone getting their preferred orders until.

“Sorry ma’am I only have chicken left.” The server apologized to Jinsol as she requested for a beef dish, but it seems like the kitchen miss counted.

“Oh.”

You know that “Oh” that was a disappointed “Oh”, and of course Jinsol, didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and just accepted it. You can tell she was disappointed and felt lost, not knowing what to do.

You looked at your untouched plate and awkwardly tried to talk to Jinsol. “Hey.” Jinsol heard you, but decidedly ignoring you. “Hey.” Jinsol acknowledges that you’re trying to talk to her, but again ignoring you. You roll your eyes as you know Jinsol is giving you the silent treatment, you went ahead to grab her plate.

“Yah! What are you – Oh.” Jinsol watches you giving up your beef plate for her chicken. “Thanks.” Jinsol thanks you but doesn’t look at you, but you know she is thankful that you have done that, otherwise she’ll be complaining for the whole night. While on the other side of the table, Heejin and Sooyoung are watching everything that is happening between the two of you.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Jinsol resentfully said to you, it was uncalled for but hey, she initiated a conversation. “But it seems like you’re happier with that rather than with this.” Jinsol doesn’t want to admit she is happy with your actions. “Whatever.”

You: 1

Jinsol: 0

“At least I stay loyal to my first choice.”

Ouch.

You: 1

Jinsol: 1

You didn’t have a comeback for that, you sort of just sat there in silence eating. You looked around and saw some unfamiliar faces sitting with some members. “Did the other members meet some people?” Jinsol rolled her eyes but decided to continue with the conversation. “The one sitting next to Chaewon, the guy she’s fixing the tie for, that’s Taeyang. A part time arts director at the college, recently hired as a stylist.”

You nod along, you’ve been away from BBC for so long that you haven’t gotten familiar with the new hires. “And this is Jung oppa.” Yerim with her bright smile, shows her partner. “Hello!” Jung, equally as bubbly and bright as Yerim. “Yup, they’re definitely a couple.” You nod respectfully to greet Jung. “And you remember Haseul’s younger brother?” You begin to get more invested in this. “Yeah… Vivi unnie fell for a young guy.” That was little shock for you.

As the dinner went on, Jinsol and you continued talking, it’s gotten less and less awkward. Jinsol had caught you up with everything that’s happened with the members. “What about you… What’s new in life?” Jinsol oddly asks you.

“Well since the debut of the company, I don’t need to comply with an NDA that I signed… About 3 months ago.” You finally dropped the news to Jinsol that you couldn’t before, with the shocking reveal, Jinsol makes eye contact with you for the first time since… That night.

Nothing was said, you continued to eat your meal, Jinsol did the same.

Feeling regretful of what happened, she had no idea about you signing an NDA. Well, that is a supposed reason for being so secretive. “Ah that’s why he’s been with Jiwoo so much, he couldn’t say anything at BBC for what Jiwoo was doing.” The newfound knowledge is hitting Heejin as she and Sooyoung are enjoying watching this drama unfold.

Sooyoung and Heejin clink their wine glasses together, having the time of their life with front row seats of the new and current K-Drama they call “Jinsol and You.”

Dinner has passed, the welcome greetings are all done, it seems to be a casual thing now with ballroom dancing being open to all guests. Jiwoo is out there with Jungeun, Sooyoung and Haseul, Vivi is trying to teach Haneul to properly slow dance while not stepping on her feet, Heejin and Yong are having their drinks at the open bar on the other side of the hall.

Sooyoung’s and Haseul’s partners, Min-Joon and Gungjeun are sitting at the table having their coffee, while you? Sitting where you have been sitting all night. Jinsol? With Yerim and Jung. “You know you’re always in your own little world?” Joon sneaks up behind you with Gungjeun as all, shocking back into reality.

“Yah, what else am I supposed to do?” You try to defend yourself, although very poorly, but both of your friends know you’ve been thinking about something, well someone, all night. “We know you’re dying to have a moment with Jinsol.” Of course, they knew, these are your closes friends from the rest of the group, considering you only found out about half of them tonight.

“Why can’t you approach her?” Gungjeun asks, although Joon gives him a little stare. “Yah, you can’t outright just ask that, this kind of thing takes time.” And here you are, in the middle of them arguing of how you should go about your night. You lay your head down on the table in frustration.

“Excuse me?”

The two men arguing go silent, while you don’t bother to bring your head up. Both Joon and Gungjeun smile and get up from their seats, “Good luck” they say before leaving you. In confusion, you lift your head off the table and turning around behind you.

“Would you care to dance with me?”

Jinsol in her bright red dress, really a different choice for her as to oppose her normal black dresses. Jinsol put her hand out and with a smile on her face, she wanted this dance with you. “Sure” You took Jinsol’s hand in yours, smiling back at her as you get up from your chair. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you to dance?” You jokingly said.

“You weren’t getting your ass of your chair all night.” Jinsol retorted back, of course she would have the winning comeback. “Yeah, that’s on me.” Your reply making Jinsol giggle.

Both you and Jinsol arrive to the dance floor and proceeded to get in a position to go along in a slow dance, her hands on the back of your neck, yours around her waist, just like the way you two danced with each other many, many times.

The eye contact between you two is electric, the smile on both of your faces is sickening to look at if you hated what couples look like when they’re happy. It was the first time you seen Jinsol smile to you, about you, in months. It was the first time Jinsol felt warm towards you, happy for you just as long.

“I finally understand why the last few months were rough.” Jinsol was the first to break the silence. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you, I was scared what could have happened legally.” Daewon explains to Jinsol, she’s finally understanding everything and nodding along. “With the ending of Queendom and the Flip That promotions, both of us were stressed and tired. I get it.” You can see Jinsol’s eyes tearing up ever so slightly.

“What will you be doing now?” Jinsol asks, you pretend to look deeply in thought to try cheering up Jinsol, which ended up working making her giggle. “I will be working part time for both BBC and Jiwoo’s company for the time being.” You explain to Jinsol your plans as the NDA you signed months ago is now voided with the official opening of the company.

“Then I guess you won’t be coming on tour with us?” Jinsol frowned a little as she can already guess your answer. “I’m sorry Soulie, I have my duties here with Yong and Jiwoo.” Jinsol just nodded and slip her arms from behind your neck to underneath your arms, essentially hugging you with her head resting on your chest.

You bring your arms together around Jinsol, hugging her back. “I miss you oppa.” She quietly says while the two of you are swaying slowly back and forth as the music plays in the background. “I miss you too Soulie.” You rest your cheek on top of Jinsol’s head, facing the same way as she is.

“Do you think it would work out… If we got back together?” Of course, that question was eventually going to be brought up. There was no avoiding it, there was never a subject that bothered you through your life, but being anything that involved Jinsol, it was always something that bothered you.

You kept swaying back and forth with Jinsol, your holds on each other eventually turned to full on hugs. Jinsol can hear your heart beating, how hard it’s beating, the nervousness that’s in you. Jinsol can hear that. You felt her grip around your back tighten up, you knew the lack of an answer is telling Jinsol that it wouldn’t.

“Jinsol.” Jinsol moved her head away from your chest and looks you in the eye. “It’s okay, I know.” Jinsol brings her hand up to your cheek, her smile slowly slips into a frown while you try to keep a smile on your face. “I still love you Soulie.” Little drops of tears start falling from Jinsol’s eyes. “I still love you too.”

“Keep dancing with me?” You ask, trying to keep this moment together while it’s still here. Jinsol nods and places her head back on your chest. You try to hold back the tears, you had to be strong for her, this is the choice you made.

The night went on, the later it gets more guests are departing, as each song play, the two of you continued swaying back and forth in the same spot.

.

.

.

.

.

“Should we stop them?” Sooyoung asks, Haseul shaking her head. “You can head to the van if you’re tired, I think she needs this.” Sooyoung nods and heads to the van outside, Gungjeun going along with him. “You can go, I can keep an eye on them.” Haseul’s partner Min-Joon offers as he pulls a chair next to Haseul.

Haseul lays her head on Joon’s shoulder. “Remember when we were so lost without each other?” Joon smiles slightly, knowing that Haseul ignored his questioned and continued to stay here for her member, no, her sister. “I remember jagi.” he reaches down for Haseul’s hand and almost by instinct, her hand was looking for his until eventually intertwining.

The current song comes to an end, the next song coming up shortly.

Haseul and Joon watch the young broken up couple continue dancing in the middle of the floor.

They were the only ones left on the floor.

~~~~~

It was the next day, you, Yong, In-Su, and Jiwoo take a trip to the airport to see off the other 11 girls to leave for their first world tour.

“Ah!!! Good luck! I’m going to miss you!” You swear you can hear Jiwoo screaming from one end of the airport all the way to the other side. “Yah, Jiwoo, you’re seeing them off, not trying to bust ear drums!” You complain as Jiwoo is possibly breaking everyone else’s eardrums around in the airport.

“Oops, sorry! I’m just going to miss them for the next two months.” Jiwoo pouts as she holds both Heejin and Jungeun in her arms. “Just let them be, I know I’ll miss you too.” Jinsol comes up next to you, understanding what Jinsol is saying, you nod and smile.

“What did you pack?” You turn and face Jinsol who is wearing a corgi themed neck pillow, in all grey sweats and socks and slippers. “Just clothes to sleep in and to go out in, my Switch, toothbrush, washroom essentials…” Jinsol went on and on about her list of things she packed, you smile knowing that Jinsol really grew up knowing how to take care of herself.

“Hey Soulie, I brought you a bag of snacks to take on the plane. I know how picky you are, so I picked out your favourites.” Jinsol smiled and accepted the bag. “Thank you.” Jinsol drops the bag down gently, and proceeds to give you a hug. You take the embrace and hug Jinsol, knowing that it’ll be two months without her presence.

“I’ll call you everyday.” You chuckle at Jinsol’s never ending clinginess, even though you two aren’t together anymore, she’s still your childhood best friend. “I won’t be going anywhere Soulie.” You tell her so she can feel more assured that everything is okay now, things can be made up between you two, but of course.

There’s always going to be that feeling of “what if.”

What if the two of you never broke up?

What if the two of you got back together?

“I’m going now.” You let go of Jinsol and she does the same. She smiles at you before picking up her bags and walk off to the gate with her members. You and Jiwoo start waving to the members a few of the boys who went on tour with them. They’re all looking towards you and Jiwoo waving at them, except for one.

Jinsol.

In a few short moments, everyone disappears into the tunnel.

“It’s going to be a long two months Jiwoo.” You continue staring at the gate, you were going to wait till the plane took off but there seem to be a weight on your shoulders that you can’t get rid of. Jiwoo didn’t say anything because she knows how you feel, seeing Jinsol like this, just making up the night before and only staying as friends.

.

.

.

.

.

“WAIT!!”

You heard a yell out of the tunnel, shocking you, Jiwoo and even the stone-faced Yong and In-Su who are in the distance waiting for you and Jiwoo.

“WAIT!!”

You turn around to see the source of the yell being a Jinsol doing her signature dork run from the tunnel to you, reminding you of the same night she found you alone in the park.

“Jinsol?!” You watch Jinsol run past the flight attendant at the desk and through the gate, although it seemed like Jinsol completely forgot she’s wearing slippers instead of regular shoes which the tip of the slipper gets caught on the ground, causing her trip and fall face flat.

“Omo, Jinsol!” You panic and you run past the lane dividers to a fallen Jinsol. You get down on both your knees, watching Jinsol also gets up on her knees.

In the moment of staring into each other’s eyes, both of you break into laughter.

The first interaction the last two days with her and it’s not awkward.

The first genuinely happy feeling between both of you.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Amid the laughter, you really did expect Jinsol to be teary eyed and in pain, but it seems that the fall wasn’t that hard.

“I didn’t want to leave feeling any regret.” The laughter ended, Jinsol started holding your hand as she started speaking. “You’re my best friend, always had been and always will even if we’re not together anymore...” You went ahead and held Jinsol’s other hand as well as it felt like the moment. “Jinsol, before you leave, I just wanted to say…”

“I love you.”

You and Jinsol said simultaneously.

The incredible weight taken off your shoulders, Jinsol’s as well. Jinsol then leans in and kisses you on your cheek, just like how you two always did before even before getting together.

Your cheeks began to glow a very flushed red, not caring about how you look, you smile after Jinsol pulls away. “Get up from the dirty floor!” Jiwoo yells in the background, catching both yours and Jinsol’ attention to finally stand up.

“I’ll see you once you get back.” Jinsol nods and smiles. “I’ll see you.” Is all she said to you before slowly walking away that turned into a full run again, but this time inside the tunnel towards the plane. You start waving and this time she turns her head and waves back at you before disappearing inside the tunnel.

“Two months.” You thought to yourself knowing now instead of two long months, it’ll now be in two short months. The feeling of having someone wanting to come back to you really changes how you see everything.

~~~~~

Some time in the future.

The present day:

“Min-Joon…” Haseul tries her hardest to bite back her tears, although her efforts are of no avail as her tears just keep flowing freely down her cheeks, as repressed memories of her childhood come back in waves.

Happy moments, bitter arguments, gentle comfort, every single moment she spent with him, floods her mind, like a desert finally, finally getting its long-awaited downpour, so is Haseul with her long-forgotten, yet finally returned best friend.

Like a puppet whose string has been cut, Haseul plops down onto the floor, sobbing into her hands, tears of happiness mixed in with guilt as she remembered what she had said to him. It was her that had broken off her friendship. It was her that had repressed her own memories of him.

It was all her fault.

Contrary to the crying Haseul, Joon is incredibly confused, not knowing how to act, finally meeting his best friend, his first (and only) love after so, so long. Seeing her sobbing her heart out pains him greatly, yet he is at a loss for words. He kneels in front of her, slowing patting her back gently, making circular motions on her back. Just like how he did back then whenever he comforts her.

And just like back then, it doesn’t take long for Haseul to latch herself onto him, her arms wrapping around his torso and her face digging into his shoulder. Her body’s still trembling, with Joon feeling his shirt getting wet from her tears. But he doesn’t mind, Haseul takes priority of course.

And so, both sit there on the ground, with Haseul sobbing onto Joon’s shoulder, and Joon slowly soothing her. Just like old times.

“Haseul!” And just like old times, Jinsol comes barreling like a hurricane, with her hands on her knees panting profusely, interrupting whatever moment Joon and Haseul has with each other.

“Well, hello there.” Joon lets out a somewhat neutral greeting, unaware if Jinsol remembers him or not while Haseul not bothering to respond to Jinsol’s entrance.

“‘Hello?’ Are we that far apart already, Joon?” Jinsol pouts as she gathers her breath, finally gathering enough strength to stand up straight.

Joon snickers slightly at her remark. “Sorry, I don’t know if you also forgot about me.”

“Well…” Jinsol lets out an awkward laugh “I kind of did, because I didn’t hear Haseul mentioning you for a long time.” Jinsol looks down embarrassedly “Forgive me?”

“Daewon didn’t mention about me either?” “Well, after seeing Haseul not reacting to your name when we mentioned you, we agreed not to mention you again.” Jinsol explains.

“Ah.” Joon chuckles, patting the shaking Haseul that has somehow wrapped her arms around him tighter. “That makes sense I suppose.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be?” Joon counters with another question.

“Well, we promised to stay in contact, but I totally forgot about it.” Guiltily, Jinsol glances around the room.

“Dae visited me a lot, so technically still stayed in touch. I already counted you and Dae as one, also, took you guys long enough.” Teasingly, Joon adds a joke at his friend’s relationship, earning a blush and a shout from Jinsol.

“Yah!” In an effort to divert the topic, Jinsol stops Joon from teasing her by asking another question.

“What’s with the ‘MJ’ thing, anyways?”

Joon lets out a hum as he’s soothing Haseul, who is no longer shaking, but is still clingy onto him.

Seeing him being non-responsive, Jinsol presses on. “If I remember correctly, you refused the offer back then, right? Then how did you become a trainee that almost debuted?”

“It’s a long story, Jinsol.”

 “I want to hear it.” Before Jinsol can respond, Haseul’s voice is heard. Coarse and raspy from her sobbing, but undeniably hers. Joon looks down to see her looking up at him with her blood-shoot eyes. “Please Joonie, I don’t want to make the same mistake again.” She gives him a pleading look, one that he knows he can’t ever deny her. He is still very many head over heels for her, although this is neither the place, or time for that.

“Alright, just, let me move to the chair really quick.” Surprising both Jinsol and Haseul, Joon stands up, with Haseul still clinging onto him, with relative ease. “Are you eating properly, Haseul?” He frowns, sitting down at a nearby chair. “I am…” Despite her momentary surprise, Haseul quickly settles down on his lap, like she is claiming her rightful place once again.

“You guys are making me miss Daewon…” Jinsol pouts at her friends, taking a seat next to them.

“Sorry not sorry.” Joon snickers, earning a smack on the shoulder by Jinsol.

With everyone situated, Joon, although a bit reluctant, starts to reminisce back to his trainee days, giving them all the details but carefully omitting those of his own feelings. As much as he wants to tell everything, he can’t bear to tell her that he once hated her, just because he didn’t understand his own feelings towards her.

Seeing her breaking down just from seeing him again is like a stab to his heart, he wishes to spare her from the pain, less she thinks that it was her fault again.

But it wasn’t her fault, it was never hers.

It was his, and his fault entirely.

Just like how Joon frequently tells stories to little kids visiting the library, he tells Jinsol and Haseul a brief summary of his supposed dark past that they weren’t a part in. Navigating through his own feelings back then, he now knows what to tell, and what not to tell.

Some things are better left unsaid after all.

“Wah, so you went through all that trouble because you thought Haseul would meet you again if you became an idol?” Jinsol is equally amazed and confused.

“That’s quite stupid though. If you want to talk to her, you could've called or something.” Jinsol crosses her arms and legs with a little attitude thinking that Joon went a little extreme with his actions.

“Younger me was depressed and stubborn, it was hard talking any reason into him. God bless my aunt for putting up with me.”

“Glad you know that.” He jolts, looking up at the source of the voice: his aunt, leaning against the bookshelf that acts as the door to the secret room. “So, this is where you’ve been hiding, you brat.” She whistles, looking around. “Dad really did make a hidden room.” She mumbles to herself, before turning back to the group of people sitting at the center of the room.

“Hi Seulie, Jinsol.” she smiles gently at the girls. “AH! AUNTIE!” Jinsol seems to be having her second epiphany of the day. “I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE YOU!” She stands up and bows immediately to the amusement of his aunt. “It’s ok Jinsol, it’s been a long time.”

“Auntie…” Haseul mumbles, still sitting on Joon’s lap, with her face looking down.

Even without seeing his aunt, Haseul can feel her hand patting the top of her head. “Glad to see you again, Haseul.” Haseul doesn’t need to see her face to know the gentle smile that she always has on her face while talking to Haseul.

Haseul must bit down her bottom lips to prevent her tears from spilling out, only giving out a small nod.

“I know this is a heartwarming reunion for you guys, but I really need borrow Joon, are you guys ok with it?”

Jinsol nods, opposite of Haseul who refused at first but then let him go knowing he's working at the moment.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back quick, I promise.” Joon seems to sense her hesitation, causing him to smile gently at her. “... Ok…” Haseul finally gets off his lap, as his aunt immediately pulls him out of the room leaving the two girls alone in the room.

“Who would have thought that your ‘prince charming’ would be your former best friend.” Jinsol scratches her nape, finding this situation hilarious and just as equally confusing.

“Mhmm…” is Haseul’s only response.

“Haseul?” Jinsol turns to her, patting her shoulder “You know he doesn’t blame you, right?”

Haseul only stares down onto the floor, not willing to answer that question.

Seeing that there’s no way to prompt an answer out of Haseul, Jinsol decides to shift the topic.

“Now that you found him, what do you plan to do?” Jinsol isn’t expecting an answer from Haseul, yet she does receive one. One that is honestly, quite scary.

“I’m not letting him go again.”

----

Later that day…

Jinsol has already left a while ago, leaving Haseul alone with her thoughts while waiting for Joon.

Truth be told, Haseul is glad that she has some alone time right now, it is hard to deal with the mess that is her repressed memories with someone keep trying to make conversations to her. Though it would make a good distraction, Haseul needs none of that right now.

Sitting at the seating area of the library provides Haseul a good view of Joon going about his work. Helping people in finding their books, rearranging the shelves, even reading books to children who are too young to read. Haseul can’t help but be proud, and yet saddened at the same time.

Where have she been all this time?

Undoubtedly, Haseul knows that Joon has been following her progress all this time, and though he might not say it, Haseul knows that there are other forces driven Joon into doing this.

He wouldn’t have become a trainee just to see her again, he would just barge into the company to do that. Haseul can’t help but chuckle a bit, younger Joon can be so stubborn at times.

Glancing at Joon who is adding more books to the shelves, Haseul can’t help but feel a dagger stabbed into her heart. Regardless of whatever the reason was, Joon has been following her progress. So then, where was she?

What did she do?

Didn’t she promise him that she would never leave him? That they would always be friends? Then why is it that she missed out on… All of this? She glances back at Joon. Why did she miss out on him growing up and maturing into the man standing here?

Why did she miss out on him struggling and coping with her leaving, even resorting to doing the one thing that he didn’t want to, just to get a chance to see her again?

Haseul knows the answer to it, though she is too ashamed for it. She was selfish.

She was selfish for thinking that Joon would follow her anywhere and do anything with her, even if it was something that he did not like. It was this selfishness that caused her to turn her back against him when he didn’t follow her, despite the countless time that he had followed her before.

She was delusional to think that just because Joon agreed to participate in the contest with her, meant that he would follow her into the idol life.

Selfishness caused her to tune him out of her life, thinking that he betrayed her, and their promise, and even denied him an explanation that he definitely deserved.

If only she wasn’t so selfish.

If only she listened to him.

If only they stayed friends.

Looking back at it, it wasn’t that big of a deal that Joon refused to be a trainee. Even if Haseul got busier and busier, they would still find a way to stay in touch. Their friendship was too strong to be broken over a mere busy working schedule.

Why was it that she was so upset over it? Haseul mulls it over. Was it because of the fact that Joon didn’t follow her out of her selfishness?

Was it because she has had false hope that she would be able to convince him?

Was it because she didn’t want to let him go?

Was it because she liked him- Ah.

She liked him.

She never had the guts to say it to him, but she liked him, very much. It was because of her promise with him that pulled her through the time she spent studying abroad, the thought of seeing him again motivated her to no end.

She liked him so much. She didn’t think that she would ever be separating from him. She never thought she would be with anyone besides him.

No. ‘like’ wasn’t enough to describe it.

She loved him, though she never realized it, but she did. That was why she was so upset back then, she thought he betrayed her, betrayed them.

Haseul falls into a rabbit hole of her own mind, her thoughts spiraling out of control with every minute she’s left alone by herself. The more she thinks, the more depressing the thoughts, she isn’t worthy of being a kpop idol, she isn’t worthy of being friends with Joon again. She doesn’t deserve-

“Haseul?”

With just one word, Haseul is brought back from the depth of her mind, back to the real world, only to see Joon, standing in front of her but lowering himself so he’s at eye level with her. “Are you ok?”

“Y-yeah! I’m fine Joon-ah” Haseul immediately puts up a smile for him, a smile that she is so used to practicing that she can pull it out instantly. “Do you need something?” Before Joon can continue asking, Haseul interrupts him first.

Joon stays silent for a while before asking. “Well, my work is finished for the day, want to go back? I can give you a ride.”

“Can I visit your home instead?” Haseul doesn’t think twice before asking. “Are you sure about that?” He raises his eyebrow. “Aren’t you busy with your schedules?”

“Like I said, I’m really fine, Joon.” She once again flashes her smile at him, but seemingly at no effect because Joon keeps looking at her with a worried expression.

“If you insist.” In the end, Joon doesn’t deny her request. After a short talk to his aunt, he and Haseul leaves the library, the afternoon breeze hit their face immediately as the sky cast an orange glow down onto the streets below, indicating the near end of a day.

“I live near here, so I usually walk, I hope that’s fine with you.” Joon glances at her, to which Haseul gives him a small smile “I don’t mind.”

The walk to his home is filled with awkward silence, as they both don’t know how to talk to each other again after so long. It seemed like it was just yesterday that they were walking to school together, making jokes, teasing each other, and talking about the most random thing they can think of.

Now, here they are, years later, as grown adults, and it seems like their once friendship was gone, puff up into smokes, nowhere to be seen.

Luckily, it doesn’t take long for them to reach his place.

“After you.” Like a gentleman, Joon opens the door for her to go in first. “Aw, so gentlemanly~” Haseul can’t help but coo, reminded by his behaviours back then. He was also like this towards her.

“Make yourself at home, I’ll prepare something for us.” Joon motions to the living room while heading towards the kitchen for some refreshments, and Haseul is left alone to wander around his place.

The apartment isn’t too big, but it’s enough to accommodate for one person. The decorations are actually well picked, for a guy living alone. Haseul snickers. The walls are covered in a deep blue color, adorned with a few posters and picture frames.

Off to the side, at the far corner is a small bookshelf, as expected of a librarian. Besides that, the furniture placement reminded her of his old home that he used to live with his aunt: homey, cozy, nostalgic.

“I see that you’re already familiarize yourself with the place?” Joon comes back with 2 mugs of juice, setting them down on the coffee table. “Well, just a glance and I can see your aunt’s fingerprint all over the place.” She smirks at him.

“To be fair I did choose the wall color, and that bookshelf.” Joon shrugs, sitting down at the couch then patting the spot next to him.

Though somewhat reluctant, Haseul sits down next to him, her eyes immediately noticing the mugs on the table. “It’s my mug…” She smiles nostalgically. Due to how often she visited his place, his aunt brought some extra stuffs for her to use whenever she stayed over, and this mug was one of them.

“Mhmm, my aunt wanted to give it away, but I kept it, for nostalgia's sake.” He takes a sip of his mug. “Apple juice, it’s too late for coffee, and I don’t have any soju here.” Haseul just holds up the mug, staring down onto the liquid inside, before looking back at him. “You remembered.” Apple juice is also her favorite juice.

“I grew fond of it over time.” Joon shrugs like it was just a coincidence. Haseul remains silent as she looks at him, then takes a sip of her juice, her eyes already brimming with tears. “Min-Joon, I-”

Before she can say anything, Joon leans forward to wipe her tears away with a handkerchief, before placing a finger on her lips. “Shush, it’s ok Haseul.” He smiles softly “We don’t have to talk about it now. I’m just glad to have my friend back.” With a quick motion, he pinches her cheek.

“But-”

“Nah ah, no buts.” Joon cuts her off. “If you want to say something, how about you tell me about your idol life? I’m kind of curious about it.”

Despite her best effort, Joon’s earnest gaze at her makes her unable to deny his wish, so she starts to recount those days of her trainee turned idol life.

Whatever kind of awkward they have left ever since the library and on the way home soon faded away while they converse with each other. They say it’s easy to relapse into a bad habit if you’re not careful enough, and it’s the same here, not to say what they have together is bad or anything.

Haseul and Joon takes no time to ease back into their regular routine: her talking and ranting about various stuffs while Joon listens intently, with a few jokes and teases here and there.

Unbeknownst to Haseul, the stress and guilt she has lessen while in the presence of Joon. To be able to talk, to confine to her best friend again, she feels relief, that Joon doesn’t hold a grudge against her, and that he is still the best friend that she once had.

It feels nice, great, even, Haseul thinks, to be with him again. Her thought inevitably goes back to the past, back when she had feelings for him. Does she still view Joon in that way? The answer is unsurprisingly, yes.

She wouldn’t have gone through all the pain of looking for him again, if she never had anything for him. Deep within her heart, some part of it still craves for Joon. Crave to be with him, to love him and be loved by him. Maybe that’s why she tried to find him again. As cheesy as this sounds, Joon has been such an important part of her childhood, she feels empty without him.

Without the both of them realizing, the sun has already set, and there are still so many things left to be said. “Ah, it’s quite late…” Joon glances at the clock, his voice indicates a sense of regret. “Come, I’ll give you a ride back.” He stands up, or tries to, only to be stopped by Haseul holding his hand.

“Joon-ah, wait, there’s something I want to say.” She looks at him pleadingly when he opens his mouth to say something “I’ll probably regret it my whole life if I don’t say it, so please, give me this chance.” Joon bit his lower lips in contemplating before turning his body to him, indicating that she has his full attention.

“Thank you, Joon-ah” she smiles lightly. “I’m also sorry. I know just apologizing isn’t fair to you, especially with what you’ve been through, but I need to say it.” Haseul holds both of his hands in hers. “I’m sorry for being selfish for wanting you to follow me. I’m sorry for not giving you a chance to fully explain yourself. I’m sorry for tuning you out of my life just because you wanted to follow your dream.” Her tears start to stream down her cheeks as she looks at him with her bloodshot eyes full of guilt and regret. “I’m sorry for breaking our promise. I’m really…. Sorry.” She starts to sob, her emotions overwhelming her at once.

Joon pulls her into a tight hug, his hands caressing her head and back gently as she is pressed fully against his chest, her arms wrapping around his torso. “It’s ok Haseul, It’s ok…” she hears his voice on top of her head as he rests his chin on it. “It was partly my fault as well. You don’t have to blame yourself.” Hearing his gentle voice soothing her, Haseul can’t help but break down once again, sobbing onto his chest as she grasps his shirt for dear life, like she was afraid that he might disappear if her grasp was to loosen just a bit.

Patiently, Joon continues to soothe her with gentle gestures, a few small pats on her head, his hand circling her trembling back. Old patterns come back, and Haseul soon finds tears dried, yet she is relaxed into his embrace. Like 2 halves of a puzzle, she feels complete in his arms, like it was meant to be.

“I love you.” Haseul suddenly says, her voice muffled by his shirt.

“Hmm?” Joon is surprised to hear this, yet he feints calmness “What did you just say?” Though there’s no fooling Haseul, with her head so close to his chest, she can feel his heart beating wildly.

She looks up at him. Her eyes resolute, firm, like what she just said wasn’t a declaration of love, but a declaration of war. “I love you.” She repeats the sentence clearly, instantly flustering Joon. “W-what?”

“I know we just met again today, but I don’t want to lose you again.” Her gaze softens, hints of guilt flashing through her eyes. “I can’t just pretend that I didn’t ghost you for a good part of your life. But I can repay you for it.”

Though speechless, Joon gently parts himself away from Haseul’s hug, holding her by her shoulders as he tries to find words to say. “Look, Haseul. You don’t need to pity me just because you ghosted me like that. Don’t force yourself into doing this, we can just be friends-”

Haseul isn’t going to let Joon finish his words. She tackles him onto his couch, then straddles him, her hands cupping his cheek as she stares down at him. “I’m not forcing myself, Min-Joon.” Her voice turns incredibly soft and tender “I really, genuinely love you.” Her smile seems to be the sun itself, radiating, as Joon can help but blush slightly from it.

“The reason I was angry with you back then, was because I liked you so much, that the thought of you not following me broke my heart into pieces.” Tears threaten to fall out of her eyes, yet she continues. “I lost you once, I don’t want to lose you again, Joonie.” Her lips trembles, her eyes casting downward, away from his gaze. “Please….”

“You pabo.” Haseul looks up at Joon, surprised to see tears flowing out his eyes as he raises a hand up to her cheek. “I thought I would never hear that from you.” He chokes on his tears “I thought, I could only stand and watch you from afar.” His thumb wiping away her cheek in a futile attempt. “I love you too, Seulie. I’ve loved you for so long…”

Overwhelmed by her own emotions, Haseul leans down to claim his lips, the both of them sharing a passionate kiss. The combined culmination of everything they’ve felt and suppressed this entire time, their anger, their frustration, their kiss, all melted into this one kiss. As such, their lips do not part from each other, until the both of them need to catch their breaths.

“Be mine?”

“Always have been.”

Just a short exchange, nothing more, nothing less, before their lips are glued to each other again, their kiss turns passionate, fiery as Haseul’s arms wrap around Joon’s neck, and his arms wrap around her waist. Soon before long, their tongues intertwined in a heated dance for dominance, as their kiss turns into a full out make out session, with none backing down from each other.

Once again, they must part away due to their lack of air, a string of saliva still connecting their lips as they gaze at each other, their eyes full of unsaid emotions.

“Let’s do it.” Haseul says, her intention obvious enough. “There’s no turning back from this, you know.” True to himself, Joon gives her a warning. But instead of answering his question verbally, Haseul’s hands sneak underneath his shirt, feeling up his toned abdomen. “What about your schedules?” “Jinsol can cover for me.” Sorry Jinsol.

“What about-”

“You don’t want to do it with me?” Haseul pouts, her hands still resting on his stomach.

Instead of answering her, he suddenly flips her over, earning a yelp from her as he is now looming on top of her, her body stuck between him, and the couch. “I just don’t want you to have any regret.” He looks down at her, his face a mixture of lust and consideration.

“The only thing I regret is not getting together with you sooner.” Haseul smiles sweetly, her hand reaching up to cup his cheek. “Now take me, my love.”

Leaning against the palm of her hand for the briefest of moment, Joon slowly lowers himself down onto her, his lips latching onto her neck as he gives her the gentlest of kisses and nibbles.

Haseul squirms underneath his touch, his nibbles and kisses are more than enough to stimulate her, to arouse her, to excite her.

“I’m never letting you go again.” Was arguably to last sentence spoken between the two of them before both of them dissolve into what could be called, passionate lovemaking.

Groans, moans, and the sound of slapping reverberate the apartment as the newly formed couple consummate their once-broken relationship, now whole and complete again, and arguably stronger than before. They lose track of how many times they did it before the collapse into a heaping pile of sweats, tears, and various other liquid. But none of them minded. Because in that moment, they have each other, and that is enough for them.

-----

Blink.

More blinks.

Even more blinks.

Rising from her deep slumber from an exhausting night, Haseul is having a hard time to wake up right now. It takes all her strength just to blink her eyes slowly, making sure that her eyes are accustomed to what little light there is in the bedroom. After a while, Haseul finally gathers enough strength to sit up. And as she does, she is greeted with a surprise: She isn’t in her room. Also, and she isn’t wearing anything underneath the blanket.

Frantically, Haseul pulls the blanket close to her as she looks around the surroundings in a frightening matter. Thankfully, she doesn’t have to do this for long, as memories of the day before gradually flows back into her still half-asleep brain, and she realizes where she’s at: Joon’s bedroom.

Knowing that she’s safe now, Haseul takes her time looking around his room instead, taking in the sight of his personalized room. Given that it isn’t that much different from his old bedroom back then, but Haseul doesn’t mind. It’s good to know that there’s still something that just doesn’t change.

“Hello, you.” So absorbed in her thought, Haseul doesn’t even notice Joon standing at the door, in his hands a tray of food.

“Hey.” She responds with a small smile at the sight of him. “Did you bring me here?” Joon puts the tray on the bedside table before setting up a small table for Haseul on the bed, moving the tray to there instead. “Yeah, sleeping on the bed is more comfortable than sleeping on the couch.” He answers with a chuckle.

A curt nod from Haseul, before she is distracted by the tray of breakfast laid in front of her. Though it’s just a few simple dishes, she is starving as activities from last night left her drained. “Eat it, it’s for you.” Haseul just digs in at this point, her hunger taking over her at this moment.

Joon just sits there, next to her, watching her devouring his food with a smile, yet it seems like he’s not fully here with her, like his mind is wandering elsewhere.

Of course, that doesn’t Haseul’s sense, as she looks at him quizzically. “What’s wrong?” Snapping back from his thought, Joon gives her an apologetic smile “Sorry, I was just thinking about…us.”

“May I ask why?” Haseul swallows the last of her food, before diverting her full attention to Joon.

“I’m…I’m afraid that our relationship might implicate your work.” Knowing he can’t hide anything from Haseul, Joon decides to be honest. “You’re arguably at the height of your career. Your fans love you. But I’m afraid that everything you built up to might crumble, just because of me.” Joon looks away. “I’m just a librarian, Seulie, I’m-”

Joon’s word is cut off by Haseul as her lips sealed his for a quick kiss.

“You.” She looks at him. “Are the mysterious trainee that caused an uproar at a variety show and disappear. Do you know how much people’s been raving for you? How many people who’s been claiming that you are their bias, despite not being an idol?” Haseul’s hands squish his cheek, forcing him to look at her. “Don’t you dare say that you’re not worth it, when it only took you one performance to reach the popularity that costed me 2 years of hard work.”

“I’m…sorry?” Joon is incredibly confused with Haseul’s action. On one hand, she seems to be consoling him, but on the other hand, she seems to be letting our all her frustration that was caused by him.

“Don’t say that you’re not worth it. Because for me, I would sacrifice everything, to get you back with me.” Haseul smiles sweetly, pecking his lips. Joon can’t really do nothing but smile at her. His friend, turn best friend, estranged, yet together once more, now as his girlfriend instead.

“I love you Seulie.”

“I love you too Joonie.”

The two of them share another quick kiss before being interrupted by someone’s phone buzzing constantly. “Must be Jinsol and the girls.” Haseul snickers.

“So?” Joon looks at her. “Gimme a few, I need a shower, and a fresh pair of clothes.” She then pecks his cheek “Then I need you to give me a ride back to the dorm, sounds good?” Joon nods, “Good, now get out, I need to shower.” Haseul playfully shoves Joon away, which he obliges and gets out of his room.

A few minutes later….

Haseul emerges from his bathroom, clean from their rodeo last night, wearing her clothes, with just a few more additions.

“Hey, isn’t that my hoodie?” Joon protests.

“Yes, and?” Haseul glares at him, daring him to take it back.

“Never mind.” And of course, he gives up almost instantly.

“That’s more like it” She smiles, approaching him, her hand quickly intertwined with his.

“Let’s go?”

“Yes.”

And so, the new couple set out from the apartment, starting a new chapter in their relationship.

The road they took to get here was arduous and full of pain and heartache, but thanks to it, their relationship is reinforced even stronger than before. Nothing will stand between them, not anymore.

.

.

.

“Oh, by the way, you’re going to meet the girls as well. They already knew about my search for you, so they are expecting you.”

“God damn it. Fine.”

-----