#moonday333

So far I have smack a bitch by Rico Nasty and My Kink is Karma by Chappell Roan 😭

Sometimes for whatever reason we fall into these seasons where we seem to become magnets for negative energy. This spread is intended to target what part of us is attracting this negative energy/people/situations and what to do about it.

With love,

He teaches me that you have to fight for love

That you have to train for love

He shows me how

I am so grateful for his instruction

But at first it was scary AF 😩 his energy is so intense

He is so intense

But as an Aphrodite devotee for me it felt natural to worship Ares alongside of her.

Are there any existing epithets for Ares that elude to this side of him?

It just make sense to me and I refuse to believe I am the only one that can and has seen it lmaoooooo

I’m thinking of creating an epithet, or using one that is used for Aphrodite

New video up!!!!!!

Today’s message is about resilience!!!

Her song leading me back towards my pen and my paper

I don’t feel worthy of your response

Even though all my heart does is invoke you

Oh muse

Lend me your ear and hear my plea

Oh muse

When will I stop fearing the fire that you remind me that rages inside my very being waiting and waiting and waiting to expressed

Oh muse

Guide me towards a future where I don’t overthink the words that flow from the depths of my soul

Oh muse

Beautiful muse

UN ULTIMO BOLERO

Solo te pido una última noche

Una nada más

Solo una canción más en tus brazos

Donde pueda revivir este maldito amor

Déjame contarme un cuento bonito para poder sobrevivir hasta mañana

Cuando ya no estés a mi lado solo te pido que me complazcas una vez más

Y déjame pretender que esté no es nuestro último bolero

Originally posted on December 12,2023

Lately the 10 of coins has been following me around. This card in the Rider-Wright tarot deck depicts an older man sitting down looking out towards a large home and grounds while another younger man stands guard while speaking to a woman with a child clinging to her skirt. We perceive through this imagery that this older man is looking onto what his hard work has brought him and how through him his family now will be able to live a comfortable life. It represents wealth, abundance and legacy.

While reading for myself I had assumed that this card was asking me to sit and mediate on what I want my future to look like. I thought that it asked of me to be a lot more diligent and think about my own legacy. Although, while meditating I could not get my abuela and my childhood out of my head. It’s something I’ve been avoiding to really sit and think about for various reasons yet I found myself not being able to push the thoughts down this time.

Growing up I loved to dig up old family pictures and sit for hours looking through them. I loved to see pictures of my mother and uncle growing up and listen to my abuela talk about the moments those pictures where taken. She would always get this far away look and her eyes would shine as if she was transported back to those memories.

My abuela now has dementia and a lot of these memories are starting to slowly fade away. I am watching her slowly become a shell of the woman she used to be. It’s something I have not really come to terms with and I don’t really know how to deal with either. It’s not something I ever thought could happen to someone I perceived to be so strong.

I fear that maybe I took some of our time together for granted and that I won’t ever manage to muster up the courage to sit with her and just listen to what she has to say. I fear that she will die before I ever get over myself and manage to sit down with her. I fear that all her wisdom and knowledge will be lost just because we, her family, are to afraid to face the truth of our new reality with her.

It’s not that we don’t make an effort to be with her, but to me it all feels so superficial. I don’t see us really making an effort to try and get to know her beyond what she has already given us. I know she loves to talk about her childhood and her family and it’s not something I think we ask her about enough. Any chance she gets she will go on and on about how her father owned a ‘finca’ and how her siblings and her would pick coffee when they were younger. She will tell this story over and over again to most people that she meets. At first I found the repetition annoying but now I’m starting to savor these moments. Now I understand that moments like this are a dwindling currency that one day will cese to exist.

I feel shame those moments where I find it hard to face her. This woman has given blood, sweat and tears to bring up this family and the least we can do is carry her legacy. At the end of the day, through the good and the bad, Hilda I. Alvarez Alicea has been there for so many of us without asking anything back in return. She was the one who taught me how to love. I am who I am because this woman has loved us all so hard that she has given her life in the name of it. She has lived in service to others her entire life and the least we can do is to be of service to her now when she needs us most. Even now she refuses to put down her broom and I know that taking it away would be like taking one of her limbs. It has been so hard for her to relay on others the way we have relied on her and I just wish that one day she will accept our help without giving us reasons not to.

To age and see yourself as someone unable to fend for themselves is not an easy thing. One day we will find that out for ourselves but until then it’s our responsibility to look after our elders the best we can. I’ve noticed how in the west the practice of caring for our elders is seen as a burden. We are so obsessed with youth that aging is seen as a sin and our elders are the ones who pay the price. Youth is fleeting and to be in this world long enough to age should be celebrated and revered. There is so much we can learn through aging and experiencing this world. What will be of us if we don’t start to care for our elders now?

Not to blame capitalism for everything but Karl Marx noted how one of the key components of capitalism is isolation. We have forgotten what it’s like to truly live in community. We have forgotten how to care for each other. It’s truly up to us to take charge and start to slowly bring back these core values. We have seen the legacy that our parents and grandparents have left us and how much it’s harming us and our world, it’s our turn now to leave our mark. If we listen to our elders and learn our history we won’t make the same mistakes they did. We are capable of so much beautiful change. Don’t underestimate how much one little action can make a big difference. It all starts at home.

With love,