#monster exposition

So let’s talk about buddies. I’ll preface this by saying that friends can be extremely close and can love one another. But for the sake of differentiating between ‘types’ of love in limited English vocab, I’m referring to the non-dating, non-spousal, purely platonic, zero-romantic-attraction-to-my-friend type of love.

It’s been no secret that Dean and Cas are friends. Even better, they’re the really close kind; they’re chosen family. But ever since the deal had been made, there had been a lot of tension between them, enough that it was obvious that Cas was unhappy. Therefore, so long as Dean was mad at Cas or vice versa, he was safe from this debt being collected, right?

Then the prayer happened but not even that broke-down-sobbing-in-Purgaytory-apology and reconciliation was enough to summon the Empty. WTH?! Cas was so happy. He even fell into Dean’s arms for an embrace and smiled through tears and they toasted over drinks in the bunker and then they began working together as equals again... Cas had his friendship with Dean restored! So why no Empty?

Because friendship wasn’t what Cas ‘wants but knows he can’t have’. Cas already had the brothers as friends, as family. He had Jack as a son. Cas wanted more than any of that, something that he didn’t think he could have reciprocated.

“I know who you love...” (coughDeancough)

“...what you fear...” (no reciprocation)

An evil entity that wants you to suffer in the cruelest of ways imaginable isn’t going to drag you to nothing unless it can rip you away from the one person you can’t bear to be without. But the Big Bad isn’t out to ruin your bromance. It’s there to break your damn heart and crush your very soul.

This is where it shifts into that romance territory, though I use the word romance cautiously as I know that it, too, can carry varied meaning. We’re talking ‘in it through the thick and thin, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, til death do us part’ unconditional love. A friend that you love that deeply, above all else, is soulmate territory LOVE. Literal mate to your soul, your other half, profound bond level love.

And Dean was singled out here. Always Dean.

And it’s a love for Dean specifically—that Cas wanted in return but thought he could’t have—that had transcended time and space and life and death and everyone and everything. It’s a love that boomerangs them back together no matter how far they part. It’s a love so deep that to lose it should cause Cas a maximum amount of trauma and pain.

And yet when you love someone that much, sometimes you have to selflessly let go, even if it hurts you beyond belief. Cas gave himself the permission to be happy by admitting his truth and in doing so, he got to save Dean Winchester one last time. (Sniff. Pass me a Kleenex, please.)

Don’t get stuck in the vacuum of those 3-4 minutes in ep15x18 to the point that you forget to put the whole of the story—this epically slow slow burn—into perspective. This love story has spanned over a decade and has a wealth of content building up to this verymuchromantic confession.

All of that said, I can’t tell you that your feelings aren’t valid if you still disagree. That’s totally fine. Doesn’t bother me on iota. You’ve got your goggles, I’ve got mine. And to me...

Many of us, like hounds with a scent, have honed in on that one part of the Qstiel line: “I know who you love…” But there’s a problem with taking a single line out of context: it’s easy to mold it into whatever we want to believe. Non-shippers can make a convincing argument that that one line is about Cas’ platonic love for several people just as easily as a shipper can argue that line is about singular and romantic love.  No matter who you are, what you believe, we HAVE to rewind and look at the FULL CONTEXT. And the full context is whittled down to romantic love. From what we know from canon and from the symbolism, we can easily surmise that Qstiel is referring to a singular and romantic love. 

———————

CAS: SAM AND DEAN NEED ME.

Qstiel: “Oh save it.”                           Qstiel is calling bullshit. What has the narrative of the show been trying to define? Singular versus plural. Romantic versus platonic. And here’s Cas using the excuse that the brothers, as a unit, need him in order to get Qstiel to send him back home.             Qstiel wants Cas to stop lying to himself. This isn’t about Sam. And Cas has no idea if he’s needed. Now Cas does want to be wanted, but only by one human (which we gather from the rest of what is said). It’s time for everyone to appropriately use we/I, us/me, them/him.  Qstiel: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips.”             Let me save some time and space: read the lyrics to the song here. Flowers are a major symbolic tool in Supernatural. Out of all the things Qstiel could liken Cas’ thoughts to and it’s about TULIPS. Tulips represent true/perfect love with a mythology based on star-crossed lovers, one of which SAILS OFF A CLIFF… uhhh… Dabb? Is that a toss to: “So what, I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”.             So basically, out of everything Qstiel could glean from Cas’ mind, he picks apart Cas’ ROMANTIC THOUGHTS. He doesn’t pick up on power-hungry Godstiel and use that against Cas. He doesn’t talk about Cas’ life before the Winchesters or even about being an angel. Nope, he brings up the tulips (true love) and in the next breath: memories and feelings.   Qstiel: “…your memories, your little feelings, yes.“             This is the second time he says ‘little’. Little tulips = little feelings. Of course, they’re not actually little, especially to an angel. Feelings are a big deal! Using the word ‘little’ is a mockery to Cas’ love. It’s another way to try and make Cas himself feel stupid for thinking his love could be returned (Qstiel mocks Cas’ intelligence several times).              Listen to Qstiel’s tone, too. He’s airing out Cas’ dirty little secret, in a mocking tone and with exaggerated facial expressions. There is no reason to taunt a platonic love. Qstiel is the bully dangling Cas’ deepest secret to use as a weapon against him. He’s mentally, emotionally and physically abusive to Cas in their scenes.             And I don’t know about you, but when I had a secret love or crush, I kept it close to my heart. I would have been mortified had someone violated my mind and treated me like Cas is being treated here. Any other loves (familial, friendships) aren’t a secret and aren’t taboo. If just friends, just bros, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Qstiel: “I know what you hate. (whispering) I know who you love. What you fear.”

            Qstiel didn’t say, “I know you love them.” He didn’t say, “I know those you love.” Everything in these statements is singular and yet packed with complexity: Cas hates not being with Dean, whom he loves, and he fears his love is unrequited. What fear is there in love unless it is a love with great risk to one’s heart?            Qstiel: “There is nothing for you back there, no.”             How can Qstiel get Cas to shut up, lay down and go back to sleep? Why, show him all of the horrible things he has gone through in the name of that (singular) love, of course. Make him believe it is one-sided and not worth fighting to go back to, make him believe his worst fear is truth. Qstiel is lying to Cas here. 

———————

After Cas mentions Sam and Dean, it isn’t, “Oh I know you love them but they don’t love you back.” No, it was, “You think you can fool me into thinking Sam and Dean need you? We both know the truth because I saw inside your head and I saw the ONE you love but it’s a shame he doesn’t love you back. Just go to sleep and forget about him.”

This entire scene was also another, “You have to choose: us or them,” moment for Cas, which of course is also in the singular. Cas can choose himself or he can choose to go back to Dean.   Just as Cas faced Metatron, Naomi, Hannah and other angels, he also faced Qstiel, a cosmic entity masquerading in his God-given body/image and told him to FUCK OFF.

Despite the shit he’s gone through, despite the pain and sorrow, despite possible unrequited love… he still chooses Dean. His LOVE for Dean PIERCES THE VEIL OF DEATH so he can return to him.

It’s always been about one human. Dean is Cas’ weakness. It is all canon and it’s gorgeous.

Monsters, Villains --whatever you want to call them-- they know. Exposition by a supernatural creature is par for the course on SPN.

But then the supernatural creature will take it a step further, to try and throw a wrench into the works, in order to get one or both of the lovers to comply, to bend to their will.

Now, we already knew that Cas loves Dean. And what EmptyCas said to Cas reminded me an awful lot of Naomi when she was trying to manipulate Dean.

They are trying to make them feel like their love is unrequited. This is the, "I know what you fear," bit. As if they are saying, "I know you HOPE but... no."

Octoswan has a great meta on classic romance tropes used between Dean and Cas. Check it out here because it is amazing.

Tropes used in 8x19 and 13x04: