#monayaps

as we know... Nyen is shit at feelings. he's totally content with not caring and being aggressive with you even though he wants you. this is his normal —push you around, scratch at you, then sulk somewhere you can’t see because he can't stop thinking about you

something in him genuinely snaps when he notices how close you are getting to... Sebastian of all losers. it’s sharp and ugly and immediate. something sour curls in his stomach, jaw twitching, eyes narrowing

but you don’t notice. why would you? he’s always an asshole to you. of course you assume he’s just being a grumpy little freak as usual. you keep talking to Sebastian, laughing, completely unaware that Nyen is two seconds away from biting drywall

and Nyen watches. he can’t help it. every laugh you give Sebastian feels like a betrayal, even though he's never even attempted to make you laugh

this is funny so i wrote a little thing dumbass thing as an excuse to give reader a bush

cw. misogyny ? ! ? not really. fem reader tho

"It's not a big deal."

You looked down at Randal currently on the floor, writhing around like someone shot him in the chest.

"How dare youuu!" He cries dramatically, moving to grabbing his heart like he's suffering from a heart attack now.

"I thought you hated my hair. You called me big foot last week."

He shoots up, offended, "Well— I mean, who else in folklore got hair like you?!"

"Humans grow hair, Randal. Even women. It's completely natural."

He stammers, wiping face tears as he gets on his knees, hands rubbing against your now smooth legs. "I... I thought you were just special. Girls don't have it like that in real life."

You rolled your eyes, sighing before patting his head, "It grows back, Randal. Like pretty fast."

- There’d be marks everywhere because they’d just be careless. scuffs on the walls & floors or random gnaw marks (ahem ahem ratman 5.)

- Since rats have a group hierarchy the guy at the bottom might be left out sometimes. like the others will finish a really good snack before he even gets there and that’ll make him come to you for comfort (maaybe 4 for this one? Def not Robert or Michael but it might be 3,4&5 alternating)

- I can totally imagine that they will also wear your clothes if possible! They probably don’t care if it looks odd either if they like it they’ll wear it. Like say goodbye to your comfy nightgown (don’t have to worry about your tail in a roomy dress or skirt)

- Speaking of tails theirs are so weird too. Like Robert’s is a strap of fabric attached to his pants, Michael has that thin black wiry one and the others have just massive hairless rat tails (…. not my favorite. >.<). I imagine you gotta really watch your step when you’re surrounded by them

- Ratmen ❤️ clutter and adding to it. The more the better. Have a messy closet in need of organisation? They’ll feel right at home. Also they’re gonna hoard food and all sorts of other stuff in there. If you try to get them out be prepared to get bit… and for them to find a more inconvenient spot for the next nest

a/n - BIG FAN of this. i've gotten so many asks about living with the ratman, and you've truly gotten some of the points covered dear anon ;-)

i like to think they have spots they claim around the house. michael's got the sunny spot on the couch, ratman 3 is fond of house corners, robert likes the armchair, ratman 4 sits on the carpet. you've found ratman 5 on top of the fridge or in cabinets before

the noise is constant. chittering, squeaking, arguing, the sound of something crashing in the next room. you never get used to it. it's a common occurrence at 3am to hear a loud bang and debate if it's worth checking. half the time you just roll over and go back to sleep. that's a morning you issue..

obviously they have this thing where they need to touch you constantly. if you're relaxing they'll find a way to make contact — a hand on your leg, a shoulder against yours, a leg over yours. they'll follow you from room to room like little shadows, and if you close a door behind you they press their faces against the crack and make pitiful sounds until you let them in

some of them groom you too. they'll sit behind you and pick at your hair, combing through it with their hands, pulling out tangles. it hurts sometimes but they look so focused and content you can't bring yourself to stop them. michael is the worst about this, he'll spend hours playing with your hair if you let him. he's "taking care of you"

a/n - very quick and lazy and who i wanted to do it with

Randal would actually be very free in a skirt, but I feel like it's best to allow him those classic knee-length Japanese schoolgirl skirts. He's annoyingly "cute" about it, but it fits his usual vibe well enough

Nyon would probably do anything for you if you asked (or demanded) hard enough, but he's not much of a fan of it. not because of any deep reason, he just feels uncomfortable, he's stiff enough in normal clothes. would be cute as hell in one tho

If you ever managed to befriend the ratmen they would exploit that for everything it’s worth. Nesting at your house, raiding your fridge, taking anything that looks interesting like games or comics.

It’s just in their nature to be greedy and it’s up to you to teach them manners (or domesticate them really). If you don’t they’ll walk all over you

this was infact sent quite a few raturday's ago. whoopsie. just general hcs with them living with you, might make a more detailed version of how each ratman are some day

The perfect freeloaders. They'd completely overwhelm and take over your place as soon as you open your doors to them

It's not like it's malice — it's in their nature. They can't help but begin to nest and hoard. Your space is bigger than what they're used to, and you make them feel so safe

They’re not entirely self-serving, not when you provide them with pretty much everything they need. You'll begin to notice that they expect your generosity, wearing your patience thin with begs and nags

They see you as an infinite supply, not having to worry about risking their lives for beer or chips. Not when they can whine for a restock every week, which you always kindly oblige to :-)

Your house is now theirs too, which means everything in it is free game. Every shiny, even semi valuable item has since gone "missing", and metal cutlery has to be put away for the sake of not having to eat with your hands for every meal

As much as they’re greedy, the ratmen also develop an intense attachment towards you. Their hoards and nests include scents of you —socks, shirts, underwear. Even things you use, like hairbrushes or blankets will be stolen

You won't be able to go anywhere without them following behind. as they can’t bear to be separated from their dear provider for even a moment

If you sit down on the couch, they’ll climb up next to you, wanting to be as close as physically possible. It’s like their world revolves around you (it does), and they’ve made it their life’s mission to stay within arm’s reach at all times

The ratmen are more likely to be like… weird uncles? Or like last minute no other option babysitters. They’ll keep an eye on baby for a short while in exchange for food but don’t expect much. If you’re lucky Michael & 4 will play with the kid but anything else (bath time, diapers, tucking baby in) is not happening.

Somebody needs to keep 5 in check so he won’t bite

All the ratmen try drinking formula since it’s there anyway. Some become addicted and start stealing your formula cans

oh, they forsure shouldn’t be trusted let alone RESPONSIBLE with a child.

Ratman 3 is terrified the child going to vomit or pee on him and ruin his precious tv guide! Stays far away from it. The cries hurt his ears anyways

Ratman 4 probably is a bit more curious and willing to at least watch the poor thing… not in a caring manner though, just to see if it falls over at some point

As anon said, Ratman 5 might bite if the child spooks him the wrong way. Probably the only one that genuinely has a chance of actually eating it (still doesn’t mean the other’s aren’t capable though {‘_’})

Micheal treats the child like a playmate more than anything. I don’t think he realizes that a child so young cannot play tag or card games very well. But he’ll try!

Robert just is indifferent about it. He’ll hold the child, rock them back and forth but as soon as changing is needed, or food, or a bath… or anything… he’ll hand it off to you to actually do the hard work

LMFAOO THAT IS GOLD

Since a lot of the characters bodies work weirdly (regenerating, transforming, extra body parts, all that jazz) the only ones i can think actually having any are the catmen and Sebastian

Nyen and Nyon have seasonal allergies (which is actually not that rare in cats!) dust and pollen scratch their throats and makes their noses runny. Nyen gets bitchy when he’s constantly sneezing, while Nyon tends to just lay on the ground as his eyes water. Luther makes them do those nasal sprays whenever that time of the year comes around which they HATE