#momsharing

One of our most enjoyed recipe has been this Butter paneer masala, the host of this vdo is absolutely charming and his recipes are spot on.

I leave out the papar/papadum in the recipe and it still works well.

This recipe started off as a party dish but we ended up cooking it on weekends as a treat. Now I make paneer at home, will blog the recipe soon xox

I had an emotional meltdown about two weeks ago at M2’s school, after which I went to snap over Path saying, “Dear school, you should just stick to being educators. Your job is to focus on educating children, not on making their parents happy.” I met with the school representatives to talk about the possibility for M2 to do another year in Kindergarten and not advance to Primary as he is supposed to. But the response from the school was not very welcoming. They told us that the school didn’t have a retaining policy, especially for Kindergarten, and also “what will other parents think of our academic regulations?” Dear Lord, I didn’t care and I don’t care now.

It’s true that when The Mister and I started talking about retaining M2 in his current grade, we got a few raised eyebrows and puzzled looks. They thought that we were either too pessimistic or crazy. Some even asked if we were having money problems. (What?!)

Since he was about three, M2 has been doing Sensory Integration therapy. There’s nothing wrong with him, but he just need additional stimulation, possibly more than other kids. We’ve been reaping the results of it lately. His confidence has swelled and he’s speaking better. He’s braver and more willing to try new things. He’s even developed better fine motor skills too. His strokes when drawing and writing are much, much better. However, we don’t think that he is ready to be a student of elementary school.

If I were clueless about what Elementary had in store for the kids, I would just enroll him and pay off the development fee - no questions asked. But I know that in Math, they will be expected to solve word problems. How was he ever going to find out how many pieces of out of the 300 pieces of candy Googol had left after he gave away 100 pieces to his friends, if he still had a hard time reading “This is a tow truck”? His reading ability is the least of my concern. What about his independence? Won’t he be expected to be mature enough to do things on his own, to carry out instructions, and to be able to sit through longer subject periods?

My initial thought was, of course, to push him harder. To encourage him beyond his current abilities, to test his endurance, to stimulate his fighting spirit. But how I was going to meet the school’s expectation without generating a thought that “school is no fun” for him, I didn’t know. So, we took him to see a psychologist, arranged a session for an IQ test and let him sit in a “school readiness” test. (I didn’t know that they had this either. But it’s awesome!) After the results came out, the Mister and I made a decision, as his parents, that we wanted to retain him for another year, until he’s ready.

The school wasn’t supportive of it at first. I got so emotional when they started talking about school policies and reputation and credibility. Forget it, I’m not going to relive that again. I told them, if my request was based on a hunch, they had every right to deny me. But I came to them with facts and results of a test and recommendations from the experts, and to deny me this request would be thinking as business managers and not educators.

Anyway, in the end, they did let me stay. They even equipped me with the “right things to say” about our decision. Even though I can really just brush off comments with an “it’s none of your business!” but like my Mister said, “we live in Indonesia where people care more about other people’s businesses than their own”.

People are going to judge me. People are going to judge him. They’re going to question my decision. They’re going to feel sorry for my son. They might go as far as calling me crazy for deciding to retain my child while the school allows him to advance. They’re going to say things that might piss me off and make me doubt myself, and I can’t stop that. But I think that we’re just going to have to prepare ourselves for what’s to come and put our eyes on the right prize.

I believe that all mothers have their children’s best interest at heart. And I think that it’s important to make sure that every decision she makes is educated and that she is strong enough to see it through. But what’s even more important is that she believes with her whole heart and mind, that her child is a good child, who might just need a little more help to become even better.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from all this is that nobody - yes, nobody - understands a child better than his mother. While she might not be 100% right all the time, she only wants the best for him. There is nothing wrong in letting your child be a little different than other children if it will benefit him in the long run. We know our babies best. Don’t let anyone else tell you different.

A few weeks ago, I had a meltdown. But not today. Today, I am relieved. Things are going to get better for my son, I’m sure of it.

Love,

M