#momoetry

My anxiety is running rampant My thoughts stuck in a loop Sobbing over everything and nothing It’s barely half past noon I cannot slow this panic down I’m caught in it’s undertow My brain is trying to fight it My body just goes with the rapid-like flow My stomach is turning Tears pour from my eyes My skin feels too tight Intrusive thoughts try to slip inside There’s a roaring in my…

I keep rowing this boat alone, I am beyond exhausted. I am too kind, interesting, and caring  To struggle through life on my own The one who deserves me will treat me with kindness, Respect my boundaries, Love me, just as I am.  Until I find them,   I keep rowing. -Nicole Smith, Momoetry Dedicated to Bre (who knows her worth) and Melissa (who is figuring it out). I am working through…

I held you in my arms I vowed to keep you safe The fates had other plans They took you from this place My heart is shattered Never to be repaired  How do I keep going With you no longer here? How do I function?  How do I get through the day? I wish we could trade places I’d do anything for you to stay The grief is all consuming  I no longer sleep at night You were my baby…

I want to write you a love letter Tell you all the things you don’t know About you That I see in high definition  Your voice is a melody Your smile sunshine Your demeanor approachable Your vibes, immaculate  You exude kindness You are open and welcoming Yet, simultaneously, You suffer no fools. You are passionate Tenderhearted  Educated Well rounded Beautiful, inside and out You…

What’s next?  The new meds mainlined  My anxiety is weakened, She yells from her hole in my mind,  “What will happen if you aren’t hypervigilant to everyone’s moods or words?”  “Do you know what could happen to you?” “Who are you without me???”  I’m excited to find out. -Nicole Smith, Momoetry

I don’t understand anything  My sadness drowns me Words can’t save me Things feel broken  There is beauty  But sometimes  Things become so Fucked up It’s hard to see the good Disappointment reigns Outdated thought processes reboot You don’t always get to live At some points You merely survive -Nicole Smith, Momoetry

I understand the Hulk Better than I’d like to admit I try to keep my rage Under lock and key Looking at my outward appearance  You underestimate the fury I carry within  The injustice, lies, bullshit I carry it, quietly While it festers  Never hinting at the  Rampage I could release; “That’s my secret, Cap. I’m always angry.” -Nicole Smith, Momoetry

Foolishly, I still let you hurt me The tiniest comment Destroying my self worth Flippiant comments Revert me back To the unlovable person You let me believe I was A dig so casual, no one would notice My worthlessness settles  Into the place it used to reside No matter how much I heal You effortlessly knock me down -Nicole Smith, Momoetry