Naow Granfer were a powâful mole. Scratch a tunnel dig an âole, The moightiest eater, so oiâm tole, In all of all âee wuddlands. Youâm shouldâve seen him eaten cake. Granmum said, fer gudness sake, OIâll start âee oven up to bake Anâ twelveteen cakes oiâll make. If Granfer ate wun, him ate two, Ho dearie me, oiâm tellen you, Him ate those twelveteen cakes roight throo, Then went asleep till zummer. Anâ when âee zummer sun did break, My ole granfer came awake, The gudd ole beast drinked all âee lake Anâ left âee fishes sobbinâ. Himân story as oiâve toald to you, Oi swears as every wurd be troo, Iffen youâm think oi tole fibs to you, Then go anâ arsh âee fishes.
-Grumm Trencher, Martin the Warrior
