#modern!killian

“So what's this cord for? Do I have to keep it plugged in all the time?”

“No, Killian,” Emma grumbled with an amused grin. “It's not a landline.”

“A land-line? What's that got to-”

“Never mind,” she smirked quickly, handing him a set of cloth napkins. “Just go put these out by the plates while the setup process finishes.”

“I must say that so far, I'm not impressed, love,” he replied, glancing back down at the phone as the white apple lit up the screen. “I've always been under the impression that magic in this world is supposed to be quite instantaneous. Well, unless this thing operates under a dark spell or-”

“Killian, it's called a software update,” Emma cut in, raising her eyebrows in condescension. “Your phone is not cursed.”

“Well, forgive me if I'm not exactly trusting of a device that’s labeled with the Evil Queen’s favorite fruit,” he retorted, holding up the empty box with the decal. “To think you're still willing to lay claim to products with such a suspicious name is baffling, love.”

“Hey, I am not on trial here, Captain,” she teased as she tossed a red dish towel over her shoulder and pointed at the electronic in question. “In fact, I distinctly remember telling you that your old one was fine and you didn't need an upgrade yet.”

“Which I agreed with, Swan,” he smiled before looking up at the ceiling sheepishly. “Well, at least I did….until the old phone met a rather watery and very unexpected death off the back of the Jolly Roger last week.”

“I know there's a joke about ‘walking the plank’ in there somewhere and I-” Emma smirked, leaning over the counter to kiss him. “-am not even gonna go there.”

“Fair enough, darling,” he answered with a defeated grin, nuzzling her nose. “Though we both know my humor is ship-shape.”

Emma set back to work, cubing the bread for homemade stuffing while keeping an eye on the man who was quite likely going to break his new phone before it was even activated. She bit her lip as she watched him haphazardly lay out the napkins before returning to perch on the nearby seat. His fingers drummed lightly on the counter as he furrowed his eyebrows in analysis of the flawless screen - very unlike the old one that had been scratched up by his nervous hook when he'd first learned about the means of modern communication.

She certainly wasn't anxious to go back to the days of constant questioning from a confused Captain, but as he continued his staring contest with the latest model of the iPhone, it was quite obvious that they were headed there.

“Swan, it shut off again! Something has got to be wrong-”

“Stop touching it,” she chastised, swatting his hands away from the buttons he'd been pushing despite her direction not to. “The activation process takes a minute, but if you leave it alone, it will do its thing and be ready to operate a lot faster.”

“But what if I miss a call? Or a text?  When I spoke to your boy, he assured me that swapping talking phones wasn't going to be a big deal.”

Ah, yes - Henry and his unnecessary coaxing. That's how this whole thing had started.

Killian had barely gotten used to the process of running her hand me down device when her son had started putting the idea of an improvement into the skeptical pirate’s head. It began with the joke of fliphone being useful for little besides time traveling and had ended with Killian waltzing into the house a few days earlier to announce his need for a new ‘thing with touchy screen’ after spending a few now very conspicuous hours with Henry and David at the docks. She’d been formulating a way to talk him out of it when he held up the soaking wet electronic with a sheepish smile, a sight that would have made her laugh if she wouldn’t have been dreading the idea of dragging new technology into the house once again.

Had she known a change was going to be this ridiculous, she would have made someone - well, anyone - else handle this version of Killian’s continued ventures into the modern realm.

“It’s really more out of necessity than anything, love,” he reminded her, reading the exasperation on her face with knowing eyes before pointing to the listed features on the instruction manual. “It says it’s impenetrable by water so it’s not likely the sea will claim this one.”

“Water resistant, Killian - not completely waterproof,” she clarified as she quickly typed in the wi-fi password on the illuminated keys. “Can we agree that you aren’t going to start testing the product warranty right away?”

“It doesn’t look like I’m even going to have the option, Swan,” he sighed as he tried to peek at the settings she was fiddling with. “I suppose if it doesn’t end up working, I can always ask your father for his old device. I guess I don’t need a completely new one-”

“If you’ll calm down for like five minutes, this one will be all yours and then perhaps I will be asking my dad to assist you with learning to use it.”

“He might be open to that actually. He was going on and on the other day about how procuring this new device would allow him to beat me in something called ‘Words with Friends’-” Killian answered, a hint of excitement making his posture straighten after a moment. “-which might suggest that he and I are friends, right?”

“Well, I suppose that depends on just how many points he wins by,” Emma smirked, tapping the necessary icon to download the game quickly. “He’s not always a merciful opponent.”

“I’m well aware, love,” he said with a grimace and a raised eyebrow. “Quite the back stabber as I recall-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Emma cut in, sliding the new phone across the counter to him. “Why don’t you see if you can figure out how to send a text on this and ask him what time he’s bringing my mom over to help with potatoes?”

Killian’s face lit up with boyish wonder as he took the shiny device in hand, his eyes wide as his mouth curved into a subtle smile. She felt her heart flutter slightly as she watched him - the way he was so constantly amazed and simultaneously confused by this world would never cease to entertain her.

“So is there someone I can send a letter to regarding how complicated this sodding thing is?”

“Probably,” Emma laughed, typing a quick text to her son on her own phone. “I’ll tell Henry to help you out with that.”

Killian let out a flustered sigh as he explored the numerous features and buttons before setting his new technology back down on top of the box, his narrowed eyes making him looking adorably frustrated. She tried not to show her amusement as he wondered out loud about everything from autocorrect to email, her eyes checking the clock and noting that Henry would hopefully be home any minute. She could only pray that he’d have the patience to explain who Siri was and ‘how the bloody hell she knows so much’.

Emma tossed a dish towel over her shoulder as she peeked back at him once more, her grin growing as she noticed the phone he was trying to operate was somehow now upside down. She shook her head at the odd irony of the moment as she started to chop up carrots, the ongoing standoff with a certain fruit as prominent as ever as he mumbled in the background.

Apparently even without Regina’s worse half around, they’d still always have trouble with apples.