#mod soul

{Taking a midnight train past oblivion and hurtling towards Harmonia.}

I grew up in a completely filthy home, and I'm pretty sure my mother was not a hoarder, as she just sat down trash and threw things on the floor. She was merely an inconsiderate person who cleaned nothing up. It was so bad that up until i was 7 i couldn't sleep in my room, neither could my brother in his, and for the first years of my life this was just how i lived. There were appliances i thought were simply inoperable because of trash and there was a foot deep layer no matter where you went. Every time my mom left to live at her mom's house, which happened a couple of times they've been divorced for seven years now, my dad would try to clean up and pick up, but when she returned it would get messy again. We kids never learned how to be that neat. When they got divorced and my mom left for good, me my sibling amd my dad were able to mostly clean up the house, my sibling is much better at cleaning. The only real remnant of a hoard left is mine. I have hoarder tendencies, keeping smaller things and trashlike objects when i really shouldn't out of some idea that i will need it. Plastic cups ,rocks ,string ,bags ,masks ,almost anything. I have never been very neat, and cannot get myself to stop and it's becoming obvious now that i am an adult that I'm becoming a hoarder. Honest, diagnosable hoarder that looks at place in the show, just like how the house used to look. How can i prevent this or at least make the situation better? My dad has ocd and all of us have trauma, so my hoarding isn't making it very easy on anyone else, and it's getting so distressing that I'm going to be the reason the house gets messy again.

Hey friend,

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, but I'm glad you're aware of the problem. Hoarding or having lots of clutter is a problem many people have, so thankfully there's lots of support out there.

I'm not sure how much you know about hoarding, so I figured I'd share a handy little guide I found online from the international ocd foundation. Each person and each house is different, but usually after #4 is considered hoarding. There's 3 rooms for reference:

This is a pretty fantastic link with tons of resources!! It is pretty long so I'll add a few more links that are more specific =)

I found another article that will hopefully help you understand the facts of hoarding. Link

Here's a link from the APA that has a Q&A with psychologists and has a treatment plan.

This link has help resources for people living in and outside America.

One thing you may find incredibly frustrating is that most hoarding resources are for folks who live with hoarders, not the hoarders themselves. I tried finding some good sources that focus more on you, but if you go looking just keep that in mind.

This link is probably the one you want to see most, how to clean up a hoard and how to prevent it in the future. It has tons of resources and recommendations, from folks who also struggle with hoarding!!

Above all, I'm so proud of you for working on this problem!! When a family member hoards, it's very easy to slip into those behaviours. You might have to try a few different methods, you might have to try cleaning it up a few times, but it'll work out. I'm sure your family won't blame you for the house being messy, you're all working on things and struggling differently.

Hope this helped,

Aesthetic for a transmasc Black★Star. Hope it fits what you were hoping for!