#mod ryo

It was a known fact that Tsukasa was head over-heels for you.

The whole of Ensemble Square knew it, even if he didn't say anything.

His actions showed it all, after all.

But what made some look at the red haired boy in pity was that you, did not know about his feelings.

And some knew, that you already had a lover.

A caring, kind, and loving boyfriend.

You and Kohaku had met first as strangers, but when both of you were able to know each other better, you two had developed feelings for each other.

That was six months ago.

As Kohaku was an idol, both of your relationship was in private, which had let Tsukasa to believe that you did not have a significant other.

When Tsukasa heard that Kohaku had gotten a significant other, he was happy for his younger cousin. Tsukasa wanted the best for him after all.

Yet Tsukasa did not hear who Kohaku's lover was.

So when Tsukasa saw the both of you, Kohaku and you, together walking at a park, he had faltered for a bit and composed himself.

Surely he wasn't barging into something private, right?

Oh how wrong he was.

But he didn't know. No. Tsukasa didn't notice his cousin's face grimacing when the red haired tagged along.

But you had welcomed him to join, yes. You didn't make a face or say anything that said he was not welcomed.

It was at Knights practice when Tsukasa had told his unit members that he would confess to you.

But due to how exited the boy was, he wasn't able to notice Izumi looking away in pity, how Leo's smile dropped, how Arashi had covered her mouth, and how Ritsu had woken up from his sleep, looking at the red haired boy.

Yet, they weren't able to say that you were already taken.

By his cousin nonetheless.

Gesturing to the window and down below outside the window, Tsukasa followed his senior's gestures, and saw you and his cousin.

After some seconds had passed, Izumi moved.

Both holding hands in a tight grip, swaying them around and walking to a cafe nearby.

No. He couldn't believe it.

Sure, Kohaku did have a significant other, but he didn't tell him that it was... you.

Hands shaking, Tsukasa turns to Izumi.

Voice shaking, he mumbles,

"I didn't have a chance in the first place"

There are some days to people in relationships whether it be platonic or romantic to have some quarrels and fights at times.

It was common for some, and seldom for others.

For you and Arashi, it was rare.

Rare to see both fight. You both may have different opinions, but the two of you had resolved the situation in a more pacifist way.

Maybe today was different. Maybe not.

But today wasn't a great day for both of you. It truly wasn't. You had failed something that you worked so hard on, and your phone had broke.

You were not in the mood to laugh and hug it out.

Meanwhile your girlfriend, Arashi, was on the couch of your shared room in the apartment.

As you opened the door after pushing the buttons of the password, you open the metal door, revealing your blonde lover sitting on the couch, with her cat and the television on.

And it was clear as the bright sun on a clear day that you did not want to talk it out with Arashi.

Taking your shoes off and putting them sprawled at the door, you drop your bag harshly down and walk over to your room.

You had enough stress today. Any more would put you in a dangerous state...

Taking out your phone from your pocket, you leave the phone on your bedside table as you get some casual and comfortable clothes and go to the bathroom.

Changing from your uniform, you go out of the bathroom, holding your blazer, blouse and skirt to go to the laundry, until you were stopped by your partner.

Growling, you turn harshly to the taller being, as you ask, "What do you want?"

Startled, Arashi slowly responds with, "you seem down today, do you want to talk it out?"

Shaking your head, you turn back to your way as you growl out that no, you did not want to talk it out, and that you did not want to talk to anyone at all.

You just wanted to be alone.

Stomping away from Arashi, you dump the uniform into the laundry basket, and leave, until the said girl stops you again.

"What do you want now? I said I want to be alone."

"Still, don't you need-"

"Why do you want to talk to me anyways? Can't you just listen to what I say for once?"

The grip on your wrist loosens as Arashi looks at you. You continue,

"I've had enough stress already, and you're adding on to the fucking stress, now leave me the fuck alone before I do something you regret."

The blonde, now more irritated, retorts back, "If you want to be alone so much, then why did you even decide to be in a relationship in the first place?"

"Whats wrong with you that you can't understand someone wanting to be alone for a goddamn day? Do you not understand?"

"Then you shouldn't have come home then if you wanted to be alone for a day!"

'What? Am I not allowed in this house anymore?'

You think. But the thoughts were stopped as your vision becomes blurry and your balance becomes unstable.

Your vision started to fade as you drop on the wooden floor.

Waking out from her anger, Arashi quickly picks you up from the floor as she takes her phone and quickly dials 119 for help.

"My girlfriend, she suddenly fainted, please come quick, please-!"

Quickly checking the pulse to make sure you were still living, she had ran to the front door and had took the staircase to go down to the ground floor of the apartment.

When she heard the siren noises nearing the apartment block, Arashi ran to the source of the sound as the paramedics took you away from her and set you down on the stretcher, quickly wheeling you in.

Yet, your girlfriend was not allowed to go with you.

As the ambulance had driven away, Arashi quickly called over a cab and had went over to the ER where your unconscious form was being driven to. After paying the bill, she left, quickly searching for your whereabouts.

The front desk had told her to wait until you were in a more stable state.

A few hours passed.

And a few more minutes.

A few more seconds.

Until she was allowed to enter the room where you were hospitalised in.

It was silent until you spoke up.

"You didn't know, huh?"

Turning her head to you, she nods her head to carry on.

"My heart was really weak from birth... so if I get too much stress... or a dangerous amount of stress, there's a chance my heart might stop... even the smallest amount of it will make me tired."

"...What...?"

"But my condition isn't okay nor does it meet the checklist to get a transplant, so I've been like this my whole life... so... our fight kind of made me like this, yeah."

"Oh... I... I see..."

"So it means that if I get too stressed...

I might die."

Was it fate or was it a last resort? No one knew, and you didn’t know as well. Your responses were robotic, nearly no sense of emotion.

Your schizophrenia became worse, agitation, delusions, and even dangerous behaviour became worse and worse the more you refused treatment. Your persecutory delusions became much worse, the more violent you’d get when someone would try to help you.

It was useless.

You were taken to the surgery room after being sedated - a difficult process as you had nearly attacked someone in the process. Taking a few hours, Hajime waited by your empty hospital bed, waiting for your return.

He was informed about the procedure. How it would affect you. Yet he didn’t have a choice to say yes or no, as it was the last resort. The blue haired boy desperately wanted to say no, but he wasn’t able to once he saw your form, unconscious, being rolled into the surgery room.

That was the last moment he was able to see you, without properly saying a ‘I love you’. He wanted you to have a good memory before everything was severed.

But it was too late as the automatic doors closed.

An hour had passed until you were rolled back to the hospital room. Hajime, wiping his tears, letting space for you to rest in as he peered over the doctors’ shoulders to look at you.

TW: PLEASE SKIP IF YOU GET EASILY WOOZY.

Your right eye was bandaged. A procedure of the lobotomy surgery - putting the medical tool in your eye socket to sever the nerves - that had made Hajime look away. Just imagining how it must have looked nearly made him gag.

END OF TW

Your form was sleeping - nearly unresponsive as the doctors left, nurses giving Hajime a checklist on how to care for you when the nurses weren’t here.

And when you had woken up, you were unresponsive, but noticing who Hajime was and thankfully knowing a little about your surroundings. But what made Hajime’s heart heavy was when you asked what his relationship was with you.

Weren’t you his significant other?

But you didn’t give any response when Hajime had told you about the status of the relationship with him.

It hurt, but he had slowly walked you on what you needed to do step by step. And fortunately, your symptoms were gone - but with a more severe repayment for the removal of your symptoms.

And it seemed that you did not care about anything in life as you lay on your hospital bed, Hajime’s hands holding your left hand as you watched the white ceiling.

You did not care when he had dripped tears on your hand.