#mod doug

This game, its all a bout you, yes you and your pink hair and doge miniskirt. You wake up on a train with this punk ass bitch sitting on the other side, then that punk comes over and fucking talks to you like “HOLD THE FUCK UP HORRACE OR TERRENCE OR NATALIE OR WHAT EVER THE FUCK! I AINT TALKING TO STRANGERS!” He doesn’t listen to the advice that your mother gave you. He asks you ever more personal questions and then you get off, everyone thinks you’re the mayor and you’re just like “Im sorry guys, Isabelle, Linda, Horrace, Domee, Doug, Rowdy Roddy Piper’s kilt (Rip god rest his soul), and Donald Trump’s less racist brother Kanye. I wasnt even in the fucking election” they of course are animals and only 2 things go through an animals head which are of course Communism and penises. Then you go on from there ruling everyone under a viscious dictator ship and “removing” “Problematic villagers” and all. But mostly i like to fish. Fish are cooler than dictators.

I rate this a 3.14159265358979323846/4

Pros

-Animals are cute

-linda doesn’t like this game

-Dictatorship can be fun

Cons

-No barnacles, this game can not promote equality without barnacles

-Waiting Barriers are annoying, i’ve been playing since day one and still my strip club has not been built

See Undertools is a game that you don’t even have to play, to know its the SEXIEST GAME OF ALL TIME. When you complete the first puzzle, and all those candies are broken, you just know YOU JUST KNOW! that from here on out, this game is going to be the greatest. My only complaint would be the microtransactions but that is to be expected from a mobile game. The rules? you are thrown into a world and theres a guy but no one cares about him. then you get to the first level. You line up 3-4-5 candies and there you’ve won a bit of the game but not all of it. you do that until the game shouts “STOP PLS PAY MONEY ALREADY YOU SHITPLOOB!” then you run out of lives so you connect to facebook and they send you lives or you can buy them for cocaine prices.I currently hold a score of 10000 on the first level SO TAKE THAT LINDA YOU FUCKING SCRUB NOOB ASS BITCH! sometimes when im in meatings i just whip it out and say “SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ECONOMIES! COME SEE ME PLAY CANDIES!” then i get kicked out because apparently “i dont work here” and that “that wasn’t my phone it was my dick”  but so far that’s been fun so i give this game a 3.91 out of 4

Pros

-Gameplay is fun

-characters are there

-I BEAT LINDA YOU FILTHY CASUAL

Cons

-Phone to near to penis, need to go to hospital

-kicked out of an orphanage for promoting the game because i gave them candies filled with ecstasy 

-i am poor now and had to sell my phone