#mnu

“The third one to your left”, you heavily breathed alongside the words, returning the body to a straight position.

Matt’s fingers easily glided over the book spines, gracefully even, counting each one until he reached the mentioned volume.

“This one?”, the man asked while turning his face to you. He kept his hand on your back, fondly brushing his palm in a reassuring way.

“Exactly”, you whispered, and he pulled the book, handing it directly to you and touching the furniture nearby so he could leave the room and once again sit on his table. It was like he somehow knew about your struggles to grab the book, even in a few rooms away from where you stood.

The lamp on the reception flickered right above Karen’s desk, now empty since she had left not too long before. Foggy had spent the day doing some legal stuff that you, as an intern, should be doing, however Matt asked if you could stay a little bit longer to help him out on a case which, according to himself, would “increase your knowledge on real world law”. You ran through the book’s pages with nothing but the dim lamp and a piece of the golden hour behind New York’s infinite buildings like a giant sea of concrete.

“Have you found anything interesting?”

The senior lawyer had a braille printer over the table in front of him, collecting data you’d use for an appeal meant to be presented the following day while listening to something with earphones. A teenager had been irregularly laboring on a dangerous site, exactly the type of case you had a soft spot for, and so did Matt, and Foggy, and Karen, and the whole little office by the heart of the always pulsing Hell’s Kitchen.

That’s why you took the internship, that’s why you loved what you did… and that exact thought, alongside a negative answer to Matt’s question, turned out to be a loud sigh while you sat on a chair next to him.

“Wow, that was pessimist”, he said with a hearty laugh. “I am pretty sure we can find at least one decision on the topic. I know time is against us, but trust me, almost ninety per cent of the cases will have little to no time for you to work on…”

A new deep breath arose from your chest, and you crossed your fingers while leaving the open book over your lap.

“… It’s not the case, is it?”, Matt took off his earphones and turned his face to you, with a cheerless expression behind his glasses.

You bit your lip as your palms became sweaty, not due to warmth since the windows were open and the wind moved Matt’s collar as well as the bottom of your skirt, but out of pure anxiousness. A few thoughts rushed in and out your mind in the time you gathered courage to say:

“No, it’s not.”

Matt lifted his chair and pulled it forward, tightening his lips before supporting his elbow over the wooden desk between a lot of papers written in braille. Your eyes made their way from the table to his face, examining every single detail from his posture to his beautiful muscles under the stretched fabric of the coat and a frown towards you, implicitly asking to tell whatever was wrong.

You took your time. Although you both knew the deadline was absurdly close, the way Matt nonverbally said, by the crinkle on his forehead and a gentle smile, made you feel sure that you couldtake your time.

“You know, I will graduate soon…”

Matt’s face suddenly changed the expression, and he tilted his head to the side, agreeing with surprise on his lifted eyebrows as well as on the empathetic voice tone when he said:

“Oh, yes”, a quick breath. 'The ‘here’s my degree, what do I do now?’ feeling.”

He was familiar with the concept – Matt wasn’t someone to say much, quite the opposite, in fact; most of the time, it was necessary to read him amidst the silence, the details in his faces’ hues alongside body gestures. He tapped on the table using the tip of his fingers, the low sound on each beat reminding a calm pulse – the absolute contrary to your heart tumbling one beat after the other.

“Yeah, this is kind of freaking me out”, you blurted. “You know, I just… It’s complicated.”

“I’m all ears”, he grinned.

Again, the “you can take your time” feeling. Trying to organize your conflicting thoughts, you said:

“I am afraid that, one day, I might be on the wrong side of the fight.”

Once again, Matt lifted his eyebrows, causing a wrinkle on his forehead.

“What do you mean?”

“I am happy today”, you resumed. “I like to assist you, to learn with you, with Foggy and Karen, however, once I graduate, I will lose all of this, and then what?”, you blew the air from your cheeks. “Will I get a job and be forced to take part in cases I don’t believe in? Will my graduation and my own beliefs be affected?”

There was a moment of complete silence on which Matt took his hand off the desk so he could intertwine his fingers, tapping the upper side of his hands with both thumbs. He bit his lip before he asked:

“This isn’t your first graduation, is it?”

“It is not, no, I studied Philosophy before. Then I had a class on human rights and instantly fell for law, so I decided to change.”

A family full of expectations when you started the new course. Would you be working at a giant corporation by graduation? Maybe being an assistant district attorney? Everybody put their expectations on you without asking for permission and, before you realized it, the weight of the world was all over you. What would their reactions be if told you wanted to help people, rather than being rich?

“Not forgetting why you started is a good first step.”

His words lightened the mood and lifted your spirits. It was exceptionally good to talk to someone who understood the subject so well, and Matt even went on telling you:

“Did you know I was an intern at Landman & Zack?”

“Shut up” you whispered back at him, causing a sweet laugh in answer. Landman & Zack was probably one of the biggest law firms out there.

“Not just me, Foggy as well. We even worked at their Boston branch for a while. They were willing to hire us both.”

You were completely dumbfounded; eyes wide in surprise as well as lips parted wanting to ask something, anything, to make sure he wasn’t lying. It did not seem so at all. Why would he lie about that? You had not read his full curriculum, however, Matt stayed with a small smile, even lifting both hands in the air in front of his body in a way to say “I swear this is the truth”.

There was this little doubt on your mind, begging to get out in the form of a question, and Matt probably knew about that – he probably had told all of this so you could ask exactly this one question, and then you did it:

“Why did you leave?”

These words came out of your mouth and echoed on the walls; a beautiful hue of dusk, mixing orange and a bit of sunlight left before nightfall settled in a quietness in which only your voice was audible.

“Because it did not reflect at all what I wanted to do for a living. Neither did for Foggy. So we opened our small business and there we are.”

Another few seconds of complete silence. One thing you enjoyed about the internship at the office was that being silent did not have the same weight there as it had in other places, turning a usually uncomfortable feeling into an enjoyable moment.

“What I mean is” he said, the shade of orange from the sky now a little further from his face but still present at the place, leaving a pacific aura around you both “let life do its job. You’ll see that things will work out, even when you feel like you are on the wrong path, even if you are unhappy with your life…”

There was this moment of stillness when the clocks seemed to have stopped just when Matt got up from his place and moved his right hand toward your cheek, gently brushing his palms against your heated skin, which turned hotter each second you had him on your sights. The lawyer’s features were highlighted by both brightness and shadow, a kind of chiaroscuro since half of his face was in complete shadow whilst the other half, bathed in a timid rest of sunlight, made his cheekbones prominent as well as his brown eye behind the familiar red glasses. You could also see his lips opening when he finished:

“… As long as you don’t accommodate, even with all the benefits, and remember why you began.”

His last words came out slowly and in a hushed tone, a little louder than a murmur, making your face burn and the book, previously over your lap, meet the ground just inches away from yours (and his) feet.

“I am so, so sorry about that, boss”, you bent your body to grab the object, cursing the damn moment your body decided to turn into jelly just for the book to fall and ruin the moment.

“Don’t use the boss card, please” he laughed, offering his hand for you to stand up.

You let your fingers dive into the book pages, keeping your eyes away from his face just so your heart wouldn’t suddenly stop beating by staring at his smile.

“I have a lawyer friend coming from L.A. that is willing to open a law firm here. Her name is Jennifer Walters” he said while touching the table to make his way across the room with you just behind him. “You can look out for her and see if she wants to hire help… I am sure she will. And I can give you the best indication.”

“Thank you” you said with a little uneasiness, but taking a deep breath. It would feel kind of different to work with other people, even though, if she was Matt’s friend, she would be just as amazing as him.

“Maybe one day you will run for District Attorney and we can be your private committee”, he kept attempting to brighten up the situation.

A heartfelt laugh left your lips as you leaned on to the wall and, once again, concentrated your thoughts on the case. The case that brought all those intrusive thoughts in the first place. The one you needed to finish an appeal due to the following day.

“And, if you don’t find your way in the world out there”, Matt balanced his body tapping the edge of Karen’s desk at the office’s middle room “you know you can always come back here. For us.”

“Oh, I don’t want you to be my boss forever”, you said without averting your eyes from the book. Although it was impossible to see by that angle, you noticed Matt moving his arm to place his palm over his chest.

“Am I such a terrible person?”, he asked in an affected tone.

“No”, you murmured. Damn it, shouldn’t have said it out loud. “Is just that…” you lifted your head to see Matt with both hands on his waist, waiting for an answer “… if you keep being my boss forever, we can never go out.”

Immediately after saying that, you averted your eyes from him, turning them to the floor thinking about what you’d just said. Maybe laughing it off and saying it was a joke would fix it? But it would be the opposite of what you’ve been talking about until that moment, a lie to yourself and to him. You’ve been wanting to ask Matt on a date ever since your first encounter.

Matt took a step ahead, and another, and a last one until his body practically overwhelmed yours like a shadow, so suddenly you lost your breath as soon as you felt his hand on your jaw slowly making its way to your lips and caressing around them.

“Who says I need to be your boss?” he smiled. And you knew for sure you were instantly in paradise. “We can be partners instead.”

For whatever reason, your fingers kept securing the book cover, now pending alongside your body, with all the strength you could bear while Matt’s lips slowly dived into yours. His cologne soaked both your nose and brain, a drowning feeling you truly wouldn’t mind having for a long time after that. His fingers entered your hair as he delicately, and passionately at the same time, kissed your lips with a gentle smile every break you needed to breathe. With his other hand, Matt gently used his palm to press your shoulder gently against the wall.

Karen had left earlier. Foggy spent the day out. Should’ve guessed about that.

Every time Matt’s mouth brushed over your lips, a different sensation of belonging mixed with nervousness made bubbles arise on your chest, however, the first feelings prevailed as soon as he touched his forehead over yours and smiled. You smiled as well, your heart so loud you heard it on your ears like a drum band. In a playful way, you lifted the book in the air and said:

“If we are going to be partners, for a very long time I suppose…” you grinned, and so did he “… we need to finish our claim until tomorrow. I’ll get my notebook and order some food.”