i do! yes it’s very different just bc they’re not my team anymore so obviously the contact is not regular. they’re very supportive but i need to reach out to them first. they always make a point to say that alumni can get support from them within reason, so if someone is calling or visiting too much, they will gently suggest to depend more on people in their real lives or their outpatient therapist. but very different from my current team - the MNLH staff are able to hug and say “i love you” so i get lots of loving when i go there! it’s an adjustment; it felt very very strange at first. but that’s part of the MN philosophy and i feel like it really helps most people.

thank you angel <3 my week is actually going pretty well! i got the babysitting job i was hoping for, so i start that tomorrow. i stopped by LH today which was really nice - wednesdays are the best days bc everyone is there who i want to see (the clinical director, t, b, and my two fav RC’s, plus angela!) so that brought me joy. i miss brandon, but only five days until i see him again! i’m getting excited to go home in three weeks. been doing lots of art journaling which has helped get a lot out and will be an important vehicle for starting PE work i think. i can art journal things that i’m not able to say yet so it’s really helpful. i’m almost done with my dbt posts! hopefully i’ll post them tomorrow.

Sending you so much love 💕

Well I was at MN laurel hill (residential) for three months and then I spent two months at MN EDCB (php and iop) but the dietitian stayed working with me for the full five months.

i’ve never been to inpatient for the ED but i’ve been to a couple residentials and i’m sure there are people who look forward to it, but i have a feeling that may be a bit about control if that makes sense? like i wanted to get portioning so i could see exactly how much i was getting. and i know obsession with food and cooking is a huge ED behavior but i think it’s a bit different in treatment settings bc then you actually have to eat it rather than making it for other people (and idk if you enjoy cooking when it’s for you, but i know i used to bake a lot for other people and really liked feeding it to other people and asking how it tasted and if they liked it etc but would never eat it myself). so it just made me more anxious when i would do meal prep bc it was like holy crap i have to actually eat this. does that make sense? also the notion of enjoying food and enjoying being around food is very common but i feel like people are more ashamed of it in ED treatment so they may talk about it less. at MNLH we made a food positivity box where people could anonymously write different snacks or meals that they enjoyed and then britt would read them out loud in nutrition group and that helped me feel like i was “allowed” to like food/express those opinions.