Feb 9, 2022
#mneah #moody #badmood https://www.instagram.com/p/CZwdvj3geEI/?utm_medium=tumblr
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#mneah #moody #badmood https://www.instagram.com/p/CZwdvj3geEI/?utm_medium=tumblr
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Seeing people I haven't seen in a while
Me: Oh hey how's it going?
Person: It's going great, I'm *insert interesting life events going on*. What have you been up to?
Me: ...oh, um, working...
Person: Cool, what else?
Me: ...sleeping?....
Person: *nods head* oh, nice, nice.... How's work?
Me: ... It's... ya know... Work.
Person: Oh *insert awkward pause* ...well, it was nice seeing you. Bye.
Seriously people, it's not that I don't want to talk to you, because god knows I need the company; there's just genuinely nothing interesting going on in my life. I have absolutely no plans for the future and honestly, just work and go home. I have no aspirations at the moment. I don't know where all my passion for life went, but it seems to have been missing for several months now... And not being passionate about anything is maddening for me. I feel empty and broken, and very much like a nonperson. It's hard to explain. I have a hard time connecting to anything at the moment. It's the box made of windows. It's back. I can see everything around me and it seems so close and so real, but when I try to reach out my hand just meets glass; and when I try to speak out the sound gets muffled and everything is so busy outside that no one hears. No one notices. Everyone is so busy in their own lives and I don't want to impede; so I sit here in silence, in my glass box, slowly losing oxygen, but smiling like a mannequin, until I pass out.