#mlqc chapter 16

I try to stick to the canon English version text as much as possible. But in this analysis I had to take some liberties and merge my own translation, because sometimes Elex translation just doesn’t fit with the purpose of my analysis. So please excuse me.

1. Hades’s Reset Plan

A Black Swan member called Hades is trying to put his Reset Plan to action.

Hades: Complete slaughter is the highest respect one can pay to a civilization. Not everyone is fit to become an Evolver. This world belongs to us, and those low-level creatures that do nothing but breed had lived too long.

The rest of Black Swan is skeptical about this plan however, calling it “a powerless clown’s ridiculous trick.” However, Hades thinks the Reset Plan should be carried out because “the previous operations were too slow.”

We can speculate here that what Hades’s trying to do is considered unreasonably aggressive and nonsensically radical even to Black Swan. Hades wants Ares to work with him, but Ares maintains a “Let’s see how well you do on your own first” attitude.

2. Flu Investigation

The news on the TV was talking about a new, mysterious flu that was sweeping the city. The presenting symptoms were the same as regular flu: cold, fever, weakness. They’re calling it a flu, but none of the current antibiotics or cold medications are effective against it. There haven’t been any deaths, but the number of infected has been steadily increasing. The national laboratories have all been working to find a pathogen, but to no result. The virus is spreading faster than anything, and lack of information is making people more worried.

Perry from chapter 15 had this flu. It seems that this strange influenza is spreading. When Yōurán arrives at her office, she overhears the security guards talking and gets suspicious.

Guard A: Did you hear? Smitty got sick. His wife said he couldn’t remember her.

He didn’t even remember his own wife… How is that a symptom of a flu?

Gavin is away and Victor is in the future. Lucien turned Ares on her and Kiro is missing. Yōurán consults the only Evolver she knows: Dr. Song(the Evolver doctor from chapter 13). They figure out the truth of this flu.

Yōurán: Demographics typically vulnerable to diseases like the elderly and small children only make up a small percentage of the infected. Most are in their primes.

Usually, the elderly and small children who have weaker immune systems are the likely target for the flu. But this time, it’s the opposite. Healthy, young people are getting infected by this new flu instead.

Dr. Song: That’s right. Aside from that, I’ve found that out of all the infected, not one is an Evolver. My guess is that the virus is selecting based on genetics.

As the both women figure out, the virus is intentionally infecting healthy, strong, ordinary non-Evolvers.

Later, Yōurán goes to visit a flu patient.

His file said he’d been in a coma for about 10 days, during which he got up once as if sleep walking and tried to assault bystanders with a blunt object. His symptoms were the same as Perry.

She uses her powers to see the man’s future to get the next clue.

I saw him fallen on the ground, his face pale, his eyes about to bulge out of his head, his entire body shaking.

Pretty familiar with Perry at the end of chapter 15, right?

Let’s link their findings with Hades’s Reset Plan. I’m going to guess what Hade’s Reset Plan is in four steps.

Step 1: Hades spreads the virus.

Step 2: The virus infects healthy non-Evolvers who are likely to survive the symptoms.

Step 3: Some people manage to overcome the virus by “evolving”, aka attaining Evol genes and becoming Evolvers. Those who cannot form Evol genes or cannot handle the process die.

Step 4: All non-Evolvers are dead and only Evolvers are left on this earth.

3. Two Conflicting Feelings.

News: Lucien Bioscience Research Center announced a press conference for tomorrow regarding a new reagent targeting the recent flu outbreak.

It had been a long while since I’d heard that name. Ever since that day he disappeared from my life. I asked myself once, did I hate him? But the answer was no. This world is not black and white, and I won’t judge people using just one perspective of right and wrong.

Even though Lucien “betrayed” Yōurán in chapter 13, she can’t hate him. Still, it hurts so much that she doesn’t want to think about him ever again. But that alone tells us that she has lingering feelings for him yet.

I didn’t know what I was running away from. Was I scared to hear those doubts I’d already heard straight from his mouth? Did I want to avoid confirming that this virus was connected to him, so that my rational mind wouldn’t be able to connect the dots? Or was it… that I just didn’t want to face him?

She has two conflicting feelings. She wants to go to the conference and see Lucien again, but at the same time, she wants to stay far away from him to avoid dealing with all this.

In flight or fight, Yōurán has never chosen the former. She decides to go to the press conference regardless of what the consequences might be.

4. The Press Conference

The press conference is my favorite scene in chapter 16 nay, the entire End of Abyss arc. Sadly, I saw a lot of translation errors in this part and some word choices were just not adequate. So please excuse me if some of the quotes are not exactly word-for-word of the Elex version text.

Lucien: I wish that more people would be test subjects. The advance of science is a continuous sacrifice. And deaths and injury along the way due to mistakes are inevitable.

I couldn’t help but worry for him. What was Lucien trying to do speaking cruel truths so frankly? For him, this was all perfectly reasonable. An unpleasant feeling welled up inside me. I wanted to get out of here.

Notice here that Yōurán doesn’t exactly think that Lucien is wrong. She just thinks that he is being cruel. She said earlier that she doesn’t hate Lucien based on the fact that there’s no one correct principle of right and wrong. However, his nonchalant attitude of accepting inevitable deaths as “reasonable” is what upsets her.

Yōurán: I want to ask Professor Lucien a question. What is this “sacrifice” you speak of?

Lucien: Physiological death.

Yōurán: That is to say, it’s normal to sacrifice the minority for the whole of society?

Lucien: Yes. I personally wholeheartedly agree with this statement.

It’s easy to misunderstand her stance on this because Yōurán is against sacrifice in general. But she doesn’t say that sacrifice should be forbidden at all costs. However, a society that demands individual sacrifice to maintain itself is problematic.

Lucien: Like the classic Trolley Problem. Choosing left or right will both land you in a moral quandary. But in reality, whether it’s for societal advancement or not, many people will be eliminated for a variety of reasons, by death or other means. So whether we want to face it or not, survival of the fittest is an eternal principle of existence. It’s what keeps humanity going.

Yōurán: In your eyes, is life so capricious? All life forms should be respected. Every one of us is doing their best to survive. It’s what every person desires and deserves. Their will to keep on living is their right. And you can’t deprive people of this.

Lucien talks that the survival of the fittest is the principle, while Yōurán talks about the natural rights that all people are inherently born with. Every individual on earth have a right to live. She is asking Lucien: Are you so readily throwing that out the window for the continuation of the rest of society?

Yōurán: Maybe you didn’t notice, but there are hospitals full of critically ill people. They may be comatose, but their consciousness still cling to life. Kids in foster care, the broke and homeless, they’re all struggling to survive.

I was confused at first when she said this, but now I understand what she is saying. There may be some volunteers for Lucien’s research, but believing that all test subjects will be willing participants is naïve.

Realistically, homeless people, those who can’t afford continued medical care, or people who have little to no financial support will be the ones who’ll be so-called “volunteers” for this experiment. While the rich sit back and wait for the cure to come out that’s based on the lives of these unfortunate sacrifices. Sacrificing these people with low socioeconomic status to sustain the rest in the name of “survival of the fittest” is a form of discrimination.

Lucien: You have a point. But you speak from the point of view of the minority, and therein arises the paradox. People cannot think in purely logical terms. That is a property of the divine. From primitive society to today, humanity has been sacrificed in political struggle, and died on the battlefields of war. But for some of these people, that sacrifice has been pointless. Fairness is not the only principle. As a cornerstone of civilization, survival stands above all. If it can bring incredible progress, then that sacrifice shouldn’t even require their permission.

But to Lucien, all of that throughout the history of wars and political struggle can be justified in the name of survival. He goes further and says that for survival, people should be sacrificed even against their will.

Sidenote: My thoughts.

Figuring out what’s right and wrong is always difficult and there’s no one right answer. But I lean more on Yōurán’s side. Historically, researches like Lucien’s have always been unethical. We should outgrow the necessary evil of human subject research.

“Sacrifice the few for the whole” is a touchy subject. In reality, many people in position of power or the majority have used that logic to justify their oppression of the minority. And many times humanity chose to sacrifice a small part of their society instead of looking for an alternate solution because it’s more efficient or faster.

Even if sacrifices are unavoidable, the attitude of how you treat people to be sacrificed is important. Do you respect them and feel guilty? Are you careful not to treat them as mere tools for a goal? Did you try your very best to minimize the sacrifice? Did you keep looking for other options until there was absolutely no choice left? I’m afraid that Lucien’s answers for these questions would be all negatives. He is too practical. He doesn’t care about sentiment. If it’s a way to solve problems efficiently he just does it with no emotional attachments, because they are a hindrance to achieving what has to be done.

But when it comes to these matters, maybe we need some hindrances that come from our conscience. Maybe feeling regret is the courtesy we owe to the people we killed so that we could live. Being indifferent to sacrifices is worse than the sacrifice itself. Reluctance and hesitance should always be accompanied when deciding whether we should sacrifice or not. Because when sacrificing a part of us becomes too easy, we will keep chucking out bits and pieces until there is none of us left.

5. Trying to Sever Ties (and Failing)

The conversation between the two becomes more personal at this point.

Yōurán: If… the person to be sacrificed was you, would you be willing?

Lucien: I would. If it meant allowing humanity to take a great stride forward, I would happily do so.

Yōurán: And what if it was someone important to you?

But Lucien just looks at her, not answering the question. Thinking that the unspoken answer is “Yes”, Yōurán falls into despair. At this point, she gives up on him.

Yōurán: Thank you for your answer, and good luck with your research, but I could never support your beliefs. Because in my heart there’s something that will always be more important than survival.

In chapter 16, Yōurán tries to sever all ties with Lucien, but she still has lingering attachments. I already said this in my chapter 15 analysis. The importance of “bonds” is a key element in her nature. No matter how hard she tries, her connection to Lucien can never be cut. Even if it pains her, she cannot bring herself to discard it.

Yōurán: My relationship with Professor Lucien is purely for business, and in the future Miracle Finder will have a new program consultant. I ask that everyone focus on the press conference. Excuse me.

Later she founds out that she left behind the pen Lucien gave her. She can’t abandon it and goes back for it, but when she’s found it she gives it back to Lucien.

Lucien gave her the pen as a way of giving his heart and she is giving it back to him. But because of what happened in chapter 13 he understands and accepts it back.

However, he’s not so accepting that he’s losing yet another connection with her: an excuse to approach her again. Probably the last one left.

Lucien: I just learned I’ve been let go from Miracle Finder. Is it out of line to ask for an explanation?

Yōurán: You’ve strayed from the principles that Miracle Finder strives to uphold. In my mind, the Miracle Finder is about justice and tolerance.

Lucien: Very understandable. I accept your explanation.

Yōurán refuses him because their principles are complete opposite. Lucien accepts her decision but this time she’s the one who’s hesitant to let him go.

Yōurán: Wait! Are you connected with this recent flu?

Please, oh please let your answer be no.

She is just desperately clutching at straws here. She knows what the answer is.

Lucien: Yes.

Hearing those words, something came crashing down in my heart.

Confirmation that she and Lucien are walking different paths.

6. Even if I Had the Gift of Prophesy

Lucien: The justice and goodness you uphold, has it gotten you the results you want? Is that what you think is more important than survival? I’d also like to know, in the face of what you value, would you sacrifice someone important to you?

In the press conference, Yōurán asked Lucien if he would sacrifice someone important for his survival of the fittest belief. Here Lucien is asking her the same thing. Would she abandon someone important to her to uphold her belief of what’s right?

Before she can answer, she is attacked (by Hades) and Lucien instantly pulls her into his arms protecting her.

An instant worry and fear flashed in his eyes, as if… he was afraid of losing something precious. But that look vanished instantly.

Time seemed to have jumped back to a month ago, when he was still Lucien. At that time he was also holding me tight like this… protecting me.

Yōurán: Are you alright? Thanks for saving me.

Lucien: I was just ensuring your safety.

Yōurán: My safety…. is needed in your plan, right?

Lucien: Of course. I don’t engage in worthless endeavors.

The last time we faced off, the people dressed in black also said to make sure I was alive. It was always like that. So all those times he protected me before was also like that.

To Yōurán, it seems like Lucien is saving her just because he needs her alive to use in his scheme. That his feelings for her were not real.

Lucien: Now, answer my question.

Lucien was still blocking my path. I couldn’t see his face clearly through the haze. Maybe this haziness was for the better.

To Yōurán, Lucien’s true intentions has always been vague since chapter 13. Does he care for her? Or was all that a lie? Him giving mixed signals in chapter 16 certainly doesn’t help. 

In the end, she decides to go along with this vagueness. She cannot abandon her principles nor can she abandon her ties with Lucien. Without the haze, she would have to face the fact that Lucien is blocking her “path” her belief. In ambiguity, she doesn’t have to choose one for the other.

Yōurán: I wouldn’t. If I had the gift of prophesy and knew all kinds of secrets and knowledge… If I had faith to move mountains, but didn’t have love, then none of it would count for anything. The truth of this world unfolds itself for people only through disappointment and suffering. Even if the light’s source is put out, I’d still try to keep my own shining. No matter how difficult, or how dark it gets. Or how foolish or ridiculous. Someone very important to me once taught me that, and I’ll never forget it.

Lucien first quoted The Corinthians in chapter 13 “For now we see through a glass, darkly.”

Now, Yōurán is quoting lines from The Corinthians too. “If I had the gift of prophesy and knew all kinds of secrets and knowledge… If I had faith to move mountains, but didn’t have love, then none of it would count for anything.”

It’s delicious irony that Lucien is the one who taught her to keep following her own principle when he himself is against it.

In this scene, Yōurán’s greatest strength shines in her words. She may not have powers to move mountains, she may not have all secrets and knowledge. But she has faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love. Against all odds, she will never stop pursuing the light.

7. Despite Everything, My Heart Still Goes out to You

In a flash, an unlikely person popped into my head. Why would I think of him? The next image in my mind was the anxious way he looked at me during that danger just now. I closed my eye and decided to take a chance. That he’d save me, that what I’d seen in his eyes was really there.

After their confrontation, Yōurán faces danger in a deserted alley. She remembers the fleeting moment when she thought she saw genuine fear in Lucien’s eyes and decides to gamble on that to ensure her safety. 

Also, even with her multiple tries to sever Lucien from her heart, in times of danger, her thoughts automatically go to him. At the least, Ares said that he needed her alive for his scheme.

And she won in this gamble. Because he did come for her.

Yōurán: Did you really come to save me?

Lucien: I am a man of my word.

Yōurán: Is that also for your goal too?

Lucien: Yes.

Although I had guessed it, hearing it from his own mouth made my heart sink.

Lucien is only telling the half-truth here. His heart truly yearns for her and wants her to be safe. But he doesn’t tell her that, letting Yōurán think that she is just a means to his end.

Meanwhile, Yōurán is still wavering between seeing him as Lucien and seeing him as Ares. Her head tells her that he is her enemy Ares, but her heart keeps pining after Lucien, the gentle scholar who asked her to teach him how to love in New Light Date.

But we already know what her answer will be. She subconsciously keeps reaching out for him.

Lucien: Why aren’t you asking me about what just happened?

Yōurán: But you’re bleeding…

She just saw Lucien kill a man in cold blood(well, it turns out later that this was just a dream and not real but still) but instead of being scared she is worried that he is injured.

Hades thinks that Yōurán is Ares’s weak spot and tries to use her to threaten Ares into working with him.

Lucien: You think the weak spots I let you see, are really weak spots?

But Lucien is one step of Hades. He already knew that Hades would try to get to Yōurán and devised a way to get back at him.

Lucien: Remember the exit I told you about. Cross over. Don’t hesitate.

My heart sunk like lead, and a sudden, intense feeling of dread welled up, almost to my throat.

Lucien: Now, leave my side.

Yōurán: No! You…

Lucien: Do as I say. I will find you.

He spoke in that familiar old tender tone, and then the next second, he shoved me away.

Yōurán: Lucien!

Lucien turned his head and gazed into my eyes. His eyes were as before, tender as the falling tide. There was even a hint of a warm, crisp smile, the likes of which I never saw before.

This smile is probably the most earnest expression he made to her. Pure and sincere with no hidden sides.

I’d never imagined I’d face a situation like this with Lucien. I ran on, and the sound of fighting in the distance grew more intense, along with my tears. I kept telling myself, Lucien would be fine. He was clearly my enemy, only saving me for his own purposes. I had resolved to be done with him… So why does it hurt so much?

I stopped, my trembling body simply unable to take the next step. My heart felt like it was being ripped apart. I couldn’t breathe as if someone was gripping my heart tightly.

As she is running towards the exit that Lucien told her, Yōurán keeps telling herself, Ares is my enemy. I shouldn’t be connected to him anymore. But her heart, her reasons for going on in life, are based on the bonds she’d formed with others, including Lucien. How can she cut that lose when he’s a part of herself?

8. Will You Sacrifice Someone Important to You?

Hades: Ares, I’ll give you one last chance, join me. I will create a world different from today’s, for Evolvers’ only. Advanced, free, beautiful. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted to see?

Ares: Fool. That world will never exist. An advanced civilization can never be created. It can only be reached by selection and evolution. Your so-called creation is just an excuse to hide your incompetence.

At the risk of oversimplifying things, Ares is telling Hades that he thinks the Reset Plan is stupid. Eliminating non-Evolvers won’t stop the struggle of survival of the fittest.

Yōurán: Lucien!

All in an instant, looks of shock, doubt and disbelief came over him, as well as a joy that he hadn’t shown before, mixed with the others.

Lucien is showing many emotions here. Shock that she still hadn’t left the dream. Doubt whether he is seeing her for real. Disbelief that she would abandon her safety again. And Joy. Pure, primitive delight that she still cares for him enough to throw her life out for him.

Lucien: Why didn’t you listen? Don’t you even care for your own life?!

This is the first time that Lucien ever yelled at Yōurán. (erase the True Love Date from your memory) This is one of the scarce times that Lucien loses his cool and reveals his true emotions raw and bare.

I yelled back at Lucien in a tone I never knew I had.

Yōurán: Liar! You had no intention of coming to find me, did you?! You deceived me every time! This time I’m not falling for it!

(By the way, I would put Yōurán’s words in capitals if I were the translator, to emphasize the yelling when she’s usually soft-spoken.)

I love that Yōurán didn’t put up with his I’m-only-saving-you-for-my-goal nonsense. I love that she saw through Lucien acting like Ares and forced out the truth that he truly loves her. I love that she was more upset that he lied about him being safe than the fact that he lied about him being part of Black Swan.

I’m sorry, but if I just go and let you take all the danger, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Even if we are enemies. I still want to prove to you that even in the darkness, I’ll persist in my faith.

In the end, the question is he Lucien or is he Ares didn’t matter. That he was her enemy and have opposing beliefs from her didn’t matter. All that mattered in the end was that Lucien was the one who taught her to keep pursuing her light, and she was the one who taught him how to love. The unbreakable bond between them.

Lucien: Yōurán, Do you want to know my answer from the press conference?

Finally, finally, Lucien answers truthfully to her questions in the press conference. The first time he didn’t evade her questions regarding his feelings with silence.

Lucien: I won’t. I won’t sacrifice someone important to me. That is my answer.

I am infinitely glad that Lucien said this to her, and also infinitely mad that she forgot this in the end.

Lucien grabs her hand, and Yōurán sees a vision of Lucien’s past memories.

A white moonbeam appeared instantly before my eyes, solidifying into a blade, striking at me. A split second later there was a rupture, and a black liquid flowed from my pupil. For a moment, color was restored to my vision. I saw a pair of bloody eyes flicker past me. Then it was all black-and-white scenes of the TV tower, the park, the research center… As well as, a black-and-white me.

This makes me think that Lucien lost his ability to see Yōurán in color when he stabbed his eye in chapter 13. If he could still see her in color, he would have noticed her coming back for him earlier. He lost his only color in the world for her.

9. Hazy Like a Fog

Yōurán: Lucien, you’re hurt!

Lucien: You knew it was dangerous. Why did you come back?

Yōurán: Because you saved me. I couldn’t just abandon you.

She came back because Lucien is part of her. When he gets hurt, she gets hurt too. When he dies, the part of Yōurán that belongs to Lucien dies too. She cannot break the tie that pulls her towards him.

Lucien: I saved you because it’s better for me if you’re alive.

He seemed to always be stressing this point.

Yōurán: So why did you tell me the direction of the exit and make me leave by myself… Why didn’t you go with me? Didn’t you consider your own safety?

(Yōurán: Don’t play dumb with me, mister. I know you love me.)

Then she learns that all of this was part of Lucien’s plan. That her coming back for him had no influence in it.

Had he planned all of this?! And he didn’t tell me! All the while I cried like a fool, agonized over decisions, and left myself be vulnerable again and again! Liar!

KR translation is a bit different here.

I cried endlessly like a fool, I kept making choices endlessly, and I endlessly took out and looked at my feelings(heart) and agonized over them! Liar!

Notice the repetition of “endlessly” is used to describe the depth of what she felt before she made her decision to come back for Lucien. I would love to know what JP and CN translations are.

But still this liar hadn’t hurt me once the whole way though… My heart overflowed with loss, grief, doubt… a complex wave of emotions.

Again, her emotions regarding Lucien becomes a complicated mess.

A large hand suddenly covered my eyes, feeling slightly cold.

Yōurán: And I’ll forget everything that’s happened here too?

There was a long pause, and then I heard Lucien’s soft voice.

Lucien: yes.

Then I felt his finger tremble a bit, and my heart trembled with it.

Yōurán: Lucien… what kind of person are you really… Why even though we are enemies, do you always save me risking everything? Why do you always push me away again after saving me… Why can I see the futures of other people, but not yours…

Whenever she tries to discern Lucien, she is met with a vague fog. She got his answer to the question: Would he sacrifice someone important for his goal? But more questions came up that would never get answers. Even the one answer she got is about to be taken away from her.

10. Back to the Real Owner

Lucien carefully took out a pen from his pocket and placed it in the girl’s hand.

I said before that Lucien’s pen means Lucien’s heart. Yōurán tried to give it back to Lucien.

Then he leaned over and whispered into her ear:

Lucien: Next time, don’t rush into danger by yourself. Especially, on my account.

This scene reminds me of the end of chapter 15 when Gavin whispers to unconscious Yōurán to wait for him to come back. It hurts that she doesn’t receive the final messages they send to her before they leave her.

11. Again, Alone with Only a Memento

Just like in the end of chapter 15, Yōurán wakes up in her room alone. But this time, she forgot what has happened to her.

Large beads of sweat fell from my forehead. I opened my eyes to a pitch black ceiling. Black-and-white images were scrolling through my head. Too bad those images were like photo negatives and too blurred to make out.

I remembered I was being followed on a street. How was I waking up in my house all of a sudden? There seemed to be a chuck missing, but I couldn’t put a finger on it.

Although she doesn’t remember it, everything she felt still remains in her heart.

When I thought of Lucien’s name again, an intense feeling of grief and longing washed over me.

Because you can’t erase feelings even when you erase memories. PTSD patients sometimes forget what they went through that caused their trauma, but they can still feel the pain and suffering they felt. But they don’t know why they are hurting.

This was when I seriously began to worry about Yōurán. In real life, she needs professional help.

In chapter 16 she tries to put a distance between Lucien but fails utterly and admits to herself that she can never stop caring for Lucien. But after all they went through, her memories, her decisions, her revelations are gone. She feels empty, and sad.

She is only left with Lucien’s “Iridescent” pen. Just like with Gavin and his ginkgo bracelet.

12. Conclusion – This Love Hurts Like Hell, but It will be Worth It.

The press conference and chapter 16 in general depicted what I love the most about Lucien X Yōurán relationship. Their love goes very deep. Enough for Lucien to not hand her over to Black Swan and enough for Yōurán to trust him despite suspecting that he has hidden agenda.

Still, their ideas about humanity and morals are different and they clash. I like that none of them is abandoning their principles for the sake of love. I like that a female character has enough agency to have her own opinions that contradicts that of the male love interest. Instead of passively accepting the thoughts of her lover.

Their continued war of words. This is how the thoughts of great philosophies are made. They both stand firm in their ground. They’re on opposing sides and will battle each other ferociously. However, they still love each other and would go to great lengths to keep each other safe. Can you imagine the euphoria when despite all hurdles their love triumphs all in the end?

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I am completely caught up with the CN server chapters. So I’ve read Ch 16 in CN before and this discussion will be a combination of my reaction from when I first read the chapter in CN and reading it again now in EN.

First of all, can I just say how HOT Lucien is when he’s making that evil face???

PG! Please draw more HOT LUCIEN EVIL EXPRESSIONS!

Gee... if only he makes those evil faces all the time, he’d climb to be my #2 (ok, he’ll fall to #3 after a couple more chapters, but still, he’ll be higher ranked than Victor and Kiro in my books...)

Ok, back to proper chapter discussion. When I first read this chapter, I really thought it would be a redemption arc for Lucien. Him sacrificing himself, risking his own death just to get MC to safety. I was so moved when he told MC to run to the exit and leave the dream world when he stayed behind and got, seemingly, critically injured without a good chance of winning against Hades.

Considering I’m not a Lucien fan, I never read many of his dates. I did read some of them for the purpose of understanding his character better so that I can write his fanfic without going too out of character, but I certainly did not read the majority of them. Therefore, my knowledge of Lucien is mostly from what was shown in the main storyline.

Therefore, I had always had doubts about Lucien’s feelings towards MC. No doubt he liked her, but how real, how deep were his feelings? Did he really love her? What was he willing to sacrifice for her?

These weren’t very clear to me when I first read Ch 16. Unlike the other 3 boys, his true feelings were never clear in the main storyline. We know Gavin would die for MC. He’s been shown to do that many times in the main storyline. We know that Kiro was also willing to sacrifice himself to save MC, as shown in Ch 14. We know Victor’s feelings run deep for MC as he is willing to do many things against his better judgment for her, even though he is a man of logic and practicality.

However, Lucien never really did these things clearly, at least not in the main storyline. Even in the few dates I read, they weren’t clear. It’s not due to poor storytelling, of course, his character is meant to be ambiguous. Of course, Lucien stans would say that they see his feelings for MC clear as day. But as a non-fan, I wasn’t so sure. There were too many manipulations, too many calculations in Lucien’s relationship with MC.

I’m the type of person who starts off trusting everyone around me. However, once someone proves to have lied (I’m talking about material lies, not little white lies that have no consequences) to or manipulated me, it takes a lot for me to forgive them and I would probably never trust them ever again.

Therefore, it would take a lot for Lucien to get into my good books (not that I trusted him ever since his first appearance in the story). So maybe I’m just difficult to satisfy in this “redemption arc” if this chapter is meant to be that. Or maybe, I’m just begging to see the “real” Lucien. A Lucien that would treat MC properly, without manipulation or calculation.

So when I saw him trapping his enemies with him so that MC can escape, I was moved. I was so happy to see him finally openly showing how deep his feelings run and that he was willing to truly make sacrifices for MC. However, that was all destroyed when he revealed that he was risking nothing at all.

From the point that he took her out of the room in the dream Hades weaved, they were no longer in Hades’ dream, where if you die in the dream, you actually die (or you get stuck). They were actually in Lucien’s dream, where if you die in the dream, you escape from the dream. Therefore, when he told MC to run while he held back the enemies, he knew he was never at risk. If MC runs through the exit, she leaves the dream. If he dies in that dream, he also escapes the dream. He wasn’t really sacrificing himself to save MC.

He was protecting her from harm or the feeling of dying. But he wasn’t sacrificing much, if anything, for MC’s safety.

I was disappointed. If this was PG’s way of writing Lucien’s redemption arc, they’ve done him dirty!

Did this chapter convince me of his true feelings for MC? Yes, it did. Did this chapter make me want to forgive him for manipulating MC and all the other terrible things he did (for example, making the flu virus in the first place)? No, it did not.

Yes, this entire manipulation and calculation were very within his character, very Lucien. But it redeemed nothing. At least not for a non-fan of Lucien. It was just more lies, more manipulation.

I had this discussion on the Thots of MLQC discord server and some think that Lucien telling her that it was his plan all along was just bravado. But I disagree. I don’t think he planned to be trapped by Hades in his dream, but he certainly planned to “die” in the dream to escape. After all, when he exited the initial room with MC, he did somehow transported all of them into his own dream, where people escape when they die. He was quick to think on his feet (after all, Luci is a genius) and he was quick to make up the plan. So I don’t think there was any bravado there.

I feel like for Lucien to have a successful redemption arc (at least in my books), there will have to be a situation where he has no hopes of planning for all contingencies. Or a situation where he knows he has very little chance of winning, yet, he completely risks himself to ensure MC’s safety or to help achieve MC’s goals. And his goal would have nothing to do with trying to stay on top.

There is no doubt that Lucien has changed since he met MC. However, due to his characterization, his long term endgame will always be to come out on top. Therefore, it is important, imo, to see him throw all his instincts and calculations away, and just give.

Wow... that was a long rant... and I didn’t even comment on the first half of the chapter at all. Oh well...

...is a reference to 1 Corinthians 13:2:

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

is that despite being a couple, they disagree about one of the most important things in life: what is right and wrong.

If you've read my Lucien analysis and chapter 16 translation, you know that Lucien has social Darwinist views. He justifies his actions under the norm that the strong have always preyed on the weak for survival and that is the natural rule of evolution.

Yōurán(MC) loves him deeply but doesn't discard her opinion over his. She thinks that every individual have inherent rights to live and a society that deprives people of that right to maintain itself is wrong.

I like that MC's not a passive otome heroine who agrees with LI's thoughts just because she loves him and has no opinions of her own.

She loves him, but he is her enemy and she will continue to defy him and push for what she thinks is the right thing to do.

And Lucien is like (Harry Potter spoiler) Snape, who was like oh I'll make an exception for Lily because I love her but I still support Death Eaters that kills muggle-born witches like her.

He came to love MC for real and didn't hand her over to Black Swan but he's still manipulating other people for his goal.