#miverva mcgonagall

McGonagall: "What on earth is wrong with Albus?"

Snape: "Well, I have a hunch about that."

McGonagall: "And that would be?"

Snape: "Someone swapped his Firewhisky for castor oil."

McGonagall: "Grand malheur du kaque!"

ESTJ

She is probably my favorite ESTJ character in fiction!

Chapter Seven The Sorting Hat

 The chapter opens with the baddest witch in the game – Minerva McGonagall. Professor McGonagall. I love that Harry knows automatically that she is a teacher who is not to be f’ed with. She explains to our little first years that they will be sorted into the four different Hogwarts houses.

Can I just say that that point system is highly subjective? How can a teacher remember how many points they go through in a day? Is it an automatic magical thing? Is there like a counter that they keep in the common room that just keeps going up and down?

Anyway our first years start freakin the eff out. Harry thinks there is a test to take in front of the whole school. Ron thinks he’s going into battle with a troll. Hermione is gonna school all these bitches with the spells she already know, she just gotta pick one. And as they are having their little existential crisis they get a surprise – GHOSTS! They seem so regal and sweet.

Professor McGonagall escorts our first years to the great hall. Where there is a hat that sings a little song. Why did I not know that the sorting hat was sassy and adorable? The sorting hat also gives up the stereotypes of the houses. Brave and chivalrous – Gryffindor, loyal and patient – Hufflepuff, wise and wit – Ravenclaw, cunning and a bit of a hatin ass bitch – Slytherin.

Professor McGonagall has all the first years line up and calls their last names in alphabetical order. The first of our (future) trio is dear Hermione and she immediately gets a loud GRYFFINDOR. For some reason that leaves a bad taste in Ron’s mouth. When they reach “Potter” the whispers break out. Get ready Harry because those whispers will follow you for t=your whole life.

The Hat is having a bit of a difficult time with Harry he could be brilliant in any house but which one will he be proud of? Which house is the one that he can call home? Probably not the house that has some white haired git and that his new ginger friend has already said is the “bad” house. Honestly Slytherin didn’t stand a chance. Harry is sorted into Gryffindor house. I’m so happy that he is welcomed by the twins and that he is immediately being gloated about See how you feel when he blows up your school. Ron is the nearly last to be named and he’s so relieved that he got into the family house.

Albus Dumbledor makes his way to the podium and as his first magnanimous words to be said to his school goes with random not words. Me and Harry had the same thought.

“Is he – a bit mad?” he asked Percy uncertainly

“Mad?” said Percy airily. “He’s a genius! Best wizard in the whole world! But he his a bit mad yes. Potatoes, Harry?”

(I also love the fact that Percy is so effortlessly pompous)

And so our feast begins. Harry has probably never eaten so much in his entire life. He’s described as a bit of a scrawny little boy so he is just living his best life right now. We meet our house ghost and he (somewhat rebelliously) shows off why he is nicknamed Nearly Headless Nick. While stuffing their faces our first years start to tell more about each other. Poor Neville has been through so much – what kind of uncle tries to toss into a pier just to see on the off chance if he was magical or not. A part of me want them to be proud of him and another part wants him away from them cause they don’t deserve such a star child.

Glancing around Harry starts to notice a certain oily man. We get our first introduction to Professor Snape. Just by looking at him Harry will now automatically associate him with pain.

Dumbledore makes some more announcements; the forbidden forest is forbidden, and a certain building in a certain room is not to be accessed for certain reasons. And Argus Filch is to make certain of that. Then they sing . . . .the school song. It is the most fantastic thing I have ever read. And I love that it pains the teachers so much. Just makes me so happy.

Its time to go to bed so Percy escorts them to bed but there is a bit of a roadblock. Peeves – the ever present (not so present in the movies) ghost of pranks. I look forward to getting to know Peeves and the kind of lovable shit that I expect him to be.

Harry goes off to bed and he has an odd dream – Professor Quirrell’s turban is talking to him, telling him to go to Slytherin. Honestly that was so creepy – this is a children’s book for craps sake and it just sent chills within me. There is certainly a message about this – your are welcome into a new home but still be cautious of your surroundings.

Chapter One The Boy Who Lived

So.. I’m doing this. Let me just start by saying my Harry Potter experience was through the movies ( and random quotes on tumblr thanks). So I’ll be reading through all the books and write a review of each chapter every other day. . . I’m testing myself with this but I’m determined. If anyone would like to join me In this gauntlet or watch me fail miserably it’s by your own bated breath. Let’s do this.

As I begin this magical adventure and the first thing I read . . . Vernon. I went from bated breath to excitement to cringe. Let me be perfectly clear - I hate the Dursley’s. They are horrible abusers and they should be set on-

But that’s beside the point. At this point in the story I don’t know them, so let’s see what they are like.

They’re boring af. JK even calls them boring

“Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work, and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair.”

That’s literally their entire characters over the course of these seven books (probably idk we’ll see).

So Mr. Dursley’s day goes on we get pinpricks of the magical world happening just in the peripheral. Odd people seem to be celebrating something. Vernon hears “Potter” and probably has to take an anti reflux pill or something. And when he gets home to Petunia she sounds like she needs several Xanax’s. (Even though they’re your effing FAMILY).

They go to sleep and we enter into the wizarding world through the eyes a wise cat. And the sudden appearance of ALBUS DUMBELDORE. Who spots our cat and immediately call her out PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL. Their personalities are shown quite vividly - her the strict professional with a worrying side and him the laid back dean who wants the kids to be his freeeiiiinnd (and has a dark past that makes you think he’s seen some shit).

As Professor McGonagall starts to address the rumors about what happened, I got chocked up when she mentioned Lily and James. From the beginning we care for Harry so much and we haven’t even met him yet.

Then comes HAGRID carrying a baby on a motor cycle through the sky.

The professors have a bit of a debate about whether Harry should stay with the Dursley’s or not. And as I’m trying to remain unbiased I’d say that they both a point. The poor orphan boy who is famous before he can walk or talk. It’s better that he grows up away from that I suppose.

(But they didn’t know how shit the Dursley’s could actually be)

Also gentle giant Hagrid gives baby Harry a kiss before he goes *wipes away little tear*.

So.. we end the chapter with a baby on a porch in the middle of the night with his future abusers ready to take on a new “burden”.

NO ONE TOLD ME THAT MCGONAGALL HAD A POSTER