#mit!au

#46: “what if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”

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i really hope you like this cuz it was kinda hard to write so i hope i’ve done the prompt justice

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Of all the memories Steve had of his mother, one stood out more than the rest.

It had been during one of her very last stints in the hospital for her leukaemia; and she’d cupped his acne-speckled face in his trembling hands and whispered you love too hard a thaisce and i worry it’ll hurt you

then, he’d just leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead and said you don’t have to worry about me Mamma and held her while she slept

but the words stuck around in his head as he ran his long fingers through her hair, and tried desperately not to think of the hazel eyed boy that was due to pick him up in an hour

(he failed miserably)

even now, 10 years on, his mother’s words wrapped around his heart and squeezed, quietly reminding him of everything he didn’t

she was right of course

his ma was always right

Steve Rogers always loved too hard, he thought in an almost melancholy way as he felt familiar hands wrap themselves and the absentminded press of lips against his back, turning around to hug Tony properly, and his love always hurt

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Being in love with his best-friend was it’s own unique sense of torture, Steve thought as Tony pulled him across campus to their next class and told him stories from his latest adventure with Tiberius; this personal hell that Steve had concocted for himself that he refused to leave

It wasn’t just that he’d known Tony since they been in diapers

but Tony just had this inherent goodness in him

this unbreakable desire to fix the world

to save everyone

Steve got it (kind of)

It wasn’t that Steve didn’t want to help people, but Steve didn’t have the kind of passion for it that Tony did

the kind of passion that drove Tony into his workshop for multiple nights in a row after Bucky’s accident, and coming out with DUM-E

or the time when Pepper was getting slagged of by some of the sophomores, so Tony hacked into their phones and leaked their dick pics to the MIT administration

or when Bruce accidentally blew up the biology lab and Tony took the fall for it (nevermind that Tony took mech and not biochem) since he could “just pay for it Stevie its not that big a deal”

If Tony wasn’t so inherently good, Steve reckoned he’d be over the guy by now

sure, he was easily the most attractive guy that Steve had ever met; soulful hazel eyes obscured in thick frames, hair that just flopped artfully against his forehead and forever in hoodies that he swam in and hid his lithe figure

but if he hadn’t been the kindest most selfless person Steve knew, Steve would’ve gotten over him in high-school

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like most things in Steve’s life- things came to a head in a bitter fight

Tony had come back to their small apartment sporting a black eye and gruffly muttered me and Tiberius are over and flopped down on the couch

Steve immediately grabbed a small bag of frozen peas and shoved Tony around lightly until he begrudgingly allowed Steve to tilt his chin up and press the cold pack against the bruise, hissing when it came into contact with his skin

Steve lasted a full 15 minutes before he asked, “did he do this to you?”

Tony stubbornly kept quiet 

“you need to tell me these things Tony. Did Ty do this to you?”

“Mio dio Steve does it matter?”

‘Of course it does Tony, if he hit you he needs to go to jail”

Tony’s jaw was in that familiar clench that meant that they were going to fight but Steve was too incensed to give up

“Tony answer me. Is this Stone’s handiwork? Has this happened before? Is this why you ended things?”

“cazzo Steve what’s with the third degree? you’ve never cared about my relationships before, why show any interest now?”

And suddenly

Steve couldn’t take it anymore

“Why show any-” Steve spluttered, frozen peas abandoned as his hands flew up “I’ve never cared?!”

Tony’s eyes flickered with uncertainty, but he raised his chin defiantly, “you think i don’t realise that you space out everytime i’m talking about the person i’m seeing? hell you barely even noticed when me and Rumiko ended. it’s not that big of a deal honestly,” he shrugged, “but you don’t”

“i don’t-” Steve bent down and cupped his hands around Tony’s cheeks, his thumb brushing against Tony’s five o clock shadow, “and what if i told you i’ve been in love with you since we were kids”

“that i wake up with your name on my lips, that when you’re around me I’m thinking of you, and when you’re not around me i’m thinking of you”

“that you drive me half mad with want and it’s a physical urge to stop myself from pressing my lips to yours and having my way with you”

“what then huh?”

Several seconds passed between them, as Steve watched Tony digest the words he’d blurted out

Then

Tony deliberately licked his lips slowly, the tip of his tongue brushing against Steve’s thumb and whispered

“who said you had to stop yourself?”