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I’ve grown accustomed to losing friends over the years and have learned to cope with it in my own way. This is Issac, he overdosed 5 years ago and since then I have been so grateful to have know him and model the way I live today.
The painting itself is on a wooden table top with spraypaint, pencil and wine. The fact that I didn’t seal this has been interesting, the wine has been aging since his death and almost looks like blood.
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🙏🏻 MoOd (w: Ile-de-France, France)
...You lose your way, just take my hand.
If you're lost at sea, then ill command your boat to me again.
dont look too far, right where you are, thats where I am!
Im your man.
-Mariners Apartment, Lana Del Rey
Eyes are closed, the dark oblivion of sleep is calling. I try to picture your face, your smile, and my favorite pair of blue eyes. Except, I can’t quite remember how you smiled at me anymore. And I know your eyes were blue, but I can’t recall the exact shade. That look you’d give me when I was complaining about leaving your bed to go home to mine has faded. Just like the scent you left on your clothes. Everything is shades of gray. I can’t remember. You’re lost in the darkness. So I’ll drift off to the oblivion that sleep provides. It’s the only place I can see you clearly.
“I have tried to let you go and I cannot. I cannot stop thinking of you. I cannot stop dreaming about you.”
-Night Circus
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I wish that we could go back in time and I'd say to you…
So many things left unsaid. When you’re 31 years old you think you have an abundance of time left to do everything and say whatever to whoever. It was even worse five years ago. At 26, who’d have ever thought I’d run out of time? I’d run out of time to tell you anything and everything. I wish I could back in time to when you were still alive and tell you how much I love you. I never told you that. I had a year and a half and I kept it bottled up so I wouldn’t get hurt. You never would have hurt me, yet I never muttered those three words. I kept to myself how much I wanted to spend forever with you, not that it mattered because I only got one and a half precious years. I want to go back and tell you how much better my life is with with in it. I took that for granted and now that you’re gone my life is missing a crucial piece. Stress rages through my life and you calmed my storms with a simple cuddle and “school’s out” comment. Lately the thunder and lightening won’t relent and I’m waiting to be struck down any second. You should have been told that you meant everything to me and I loved you and wanted you always.
I wish that we could go back in time. And I'd say to you. I miss you like it was the very first night…Take me away to you..
Lights are all strung, presents in nice little bows.
But something is missing, of that I know.
There isn’t a box with your name under the tree
And all I want for Christmas is you here with me
But that won’t happen, your holidays are spent far away
Watching from above while I pretend everything is okay
I’ll put on a smile and pretend all is fine
Looking to the stars for some kind of sign
I’ll continue for my Christmas wish to be
Your hand in mine and you right next to me
It will never be easy but I might be okay.
I tried to stop the bleeding, when the universe stole you away from me
I can never fix it, you never had a chance to stay
I said goodbye forever, but I will love you anyway
