#missingtheoneilove

There’s not a day that goes by that you’re not on my mind. I miss you in everything I do. But I need to move forward. I’m not moving on but progressing down life’s path with your spirit in all that confronts me.

You’ve made me into the strong young woman I am today. Although my grief gets the best of me at times, I know I must persevere.  You would want me to be happy.  You would want me to experience joy and laughter and peace.  You were my rock in life and you are my rock in death. Your spirit lives on within me.

Since you left this world, I’ve been told by many people to “move on”, but just as the happy moments mark milestones in our lives so do the undesirable moments.  I miss everything about you.  Your smile, your laugh, and the safety and acceptance you allowed me to feel every time you were near.  I miss the fun times we had and the closeness we shared.  I miss holding your hand because that was the last memory I have of us; me holding your hand as you were fading away.  That vision will always remain a part of me and has shaped me into who I am today.

Your life taught me so many valuable lessons and your death led me through a path of self- discovery.  I don’t want to move on from that.  I want to move forward and take you with me.  I want those lessons to live on through the newest version of myself. I want to create and provide the warmth, love and strength to others that didn’t get to experience that from you firsthand.  I want to share you with the world so that your legacy continues to touch others the way you touched me.

When someone we love leaves this world, they are not moving on but moving forward and just as we believe they took a piece of us with them, they did.  They are moving forward with us just as we are moving forward with them.  They are continuing their journey in death as we are in life.  We are all moving forward, just in different realms of the universe.  As much as we feel we’ve lost, we’ve gained a new perspective, a new outlook and new meaning of life.

The phrase “move on” implies that we need to forget and leave our pasts behind. But our pasts represent a facet of who we are and how far we’ve come.  We do not want to erase the moments that meant so much in the past but carry them with us in the present and into the future.  Regardless of whether those past moments were happy, sad, traumatic or filled with anger, they served a purpose and contributed to the people we are right now. And right now, is what matters the most.