#miserablebeings

You are an Ex I Call ‘Bastard’

This is the story of love turning to hate

A sad story of you and me

A story of you as a traitor

And me as a fool

Our long on and off relationship ends like this

I didn’t see it coming

You already cheated on me

So they are right

That boys always be boys

I didn’t realize it

You were flawless in my eyes

But turned out it just a camouflage

A perfect one

That blinded me

Congratulations!

You put a spectacular show

That blows minds

Standing ovation

The award for the best actor

Goes to you

Did you know?

When we went separate ways that day

Saying goodbye was the hardest

I thought we were special

I thought you were special

When we went separate ways that day

I never thought you that way

I believed what you said

We broke up with different reason

But the true reason was hidden

When we went separate ways that day

I prayed for your happiness

But in fact you already found her

And like a stupid woman I was,

Without knowing the truth,

I wrote a poem for you and our relationship

When we went separate ways that day

I cried because it hurt so bad

You cried too

But inside you laughed

You must think I am complete fool

Before that day

Everything seemed fine

I gave everything to you

Even when the world doesn’t take our sides

Even when you made mistakes

I was trying to forgive and trust

I learned to lean on you for years

That is why, it became habit,

A bad habit

I even didn’t think I could take care of myself when I am alone

For someone who knows me for years

I thought you understand me well, so I expected more

You promised me a future

I thought you were the one,

That I would be okay if we are together

But then you changed over night

The nightmare was starting to come

As time went by,

Our relationship was not getting better,

It went worse,

Not stronger, but weaker

You and I changed as time passed

Your words, eyes, face turned so cold,

Didn’t know you, who are you?

I didn’t trust you was another thing

There were time I thought you were lying

Were you with another woman?

Insecurity is all I got

When problems hit me like a truck,

Your message helped me brightened up

I felt like an idiot, working my day around the phone

But somehow I already knew

You wouldn’t come,

But I still kept waiting

You left me hanging

You were busy, I got that

But I needed you that time the most

But you weren’t there

You lied

That day

I felt as if I have nobody

You were definitely in front of me,

We couldn’t comfort each other anymore,

Even if we are in the same place

We each only looked at other places

Our relationship kept going around in place

I didn’t say anything, but I knew,

That there was no more room for me in your heart

The following days and weeks,

I was still mourning,

Our memories flooded my mind

All the memories that I wish I could erase

Maybe I was your love and hate

Maybe I was your enemy and friend

Your heaven and hell

Your pride and shame

Figure out they are right

“Don’t love people too much, or hate them too much, because one day that feeling will go into reverse”

And now,

I never hate someone like I hate you,

The dark feeling is new

Hell, even killing you ever crossed my mind

Or is it a story of a revenge?

Your vengeance for me

That hurt you

Because I saw your pained face when I said meeting you is a regret

I admit I am feeling sorry till today

Because I said those harsh words

Because we started it

I am sorry  

But the part of me hating you is natural

Even though I hope it would fade away

Because it is consuming my heart

A toxic within me

I loathe you

Don't blame me

I still say it's all your faults

I am ruined

Fragile, anxious,

Couldn't trust right,

Uneasy girl I am now

There are 2 types of exes at first,

The good ones I regret for not doing right

The mediocre ones I can easily forget because they are not worth it

But then you came,

And here the ex type 3 exists,

The bad one I call bastard

Whom I wish got a taste of hell

And now,

Congratulations!

You succeed!

You did it!

You are incredible

To have such an effect on me

Right to my face

My heart scattered to pieces

I was in pain

Feeling like shit, f*cked up

A mess

I fall miserably

Because of us

Because of you,