#miserable remus

A Memory | Wolfstar | Part III

He hadn’t meant for it to happen. He hadn’t meant to attack the man with his lips. He hadn’t meant to almost ruin their friendship, but Remus had felt something. A spark he had thought was reciprocated. The memory played over in his head.

They were in Sirius’ bed, curtains drawn around them, the other boys sleeping soundly. Sirius was laughing and teasing Remus about his blue jumper or some book he was reading, he couldn’t quite remember. Their fingers brushed every so often, and Sirius’ eyes were sparkling. His lips curled into sexy smirks, his hair falling into his eyes every so often.

Remus was tingling all over and the tunnel vision he had when it came to Sirius Black unnerved him. Sirius turned to look at him a cheeky look in his eyes as he teased Remus again and winked. Remus couldn’t help it. What was Sirius thinking, being so beautiful and winking like that. He had to know how he affected Remus.

Remus moved forward slowly, eyes searching Sirius’ face. Looking for rejection, a sign he should stop. Their lips almost touching he paused, then Sirius closed his eyes as if to say yes, kiss me. Remus pressed his lips against his best friends, and for moments they stayed that way, mouths just pressed together, unmoving. Sirius moved first, deepening the kiss which was all Remus needed, his hands found themselves in Sirius’ long brown hair pulling him closer and the two fell down on to the bed. Lips parted, tongues dancing together, breath mingling. This was right, so incredibly right.

Until it wasn't. Sirius pulled away first, a look of sudden shock on his face. Then he was scrambling away on the bed, fell off the other side and bolted from the room. He left Remus surprised, hurt and sad still sitting, with swollen lips, on Sirius’ bed.

Remus crawled into his own bed. His eyes, betraying him, allowed big wet tears to flow down his cheeks in silence. He pulled the covers over his head and shook miserably, willing sleep to come. It didn't. Sirius didn't come back that night either.

(This is the memory Sirius mentions in Years Too Late Part I from Remus’ POV)