#mirlax

Isla’s head is spinning, berating herself for being rude to Sage when all he had done was simply mention another girls name.  Of course, it was a rival in her view, but he didn’t know that… ‘and, didn’t deserve the attitude,’sighing and plopping down under an old willow with her lunch.  Sage Redfox, cool and collected Sage, or Tatsuo as some of his buddies called him was the one friend Isla had stayed close to since they were little kids.  While his tastes eventually developed into the more gothic scene, fueling her own shift towards that genre, his personality was always open and charismatic, never dark or angry.  Not to mention she found him very attractive, tall and toned, with long dark blue hair that he kept up in a ponytail most of the time.  He was the one friend she could count on….  Releasing a long exhale, ‘I should apologize to him later.’      

She rubs at her inner left wrist, closing her eyes to the realities surrounding her for the moment, and leans against the withered trunk.  School, studies, acquaintances going about their day oblivious to one girl sitting all alone.  They didn’t even notice her presence, Isla assumes, since she wasn’t one of the popular girls or in any real clique for that matter, able to count her real friends on one hand.  Not that she minded so much, in fact she preferred it that way.  Isla portrayed a tough girl image to keep people away and hide her real emotions not bring them closer, only those she trusts are ever brought into her inner circle.  

But right now, those emotions are playing havoc with her mind, running wild down the darkest of paths and Isla wasn’t sure how to get off it.  Isla raises her hand, watching the flickering white energy sparking off her finger tips, reminding of her of the so-called gift she should be thrilled to have.  It was inherited from her father, a powerful ability he would often remind her, dangerous and yet lifegiving at the same time.  Sure, it would be an easy thing to electrocute an enemy or restart a heart that had stopped beating.  But she wasn’t interested in either, at least the going into the medical field part because that would require a lot more schooling than the young girl was willing to consider.

After releasing the built-up energy into the ground around her, she closes her eyes once more.  It was unfair as far as she was concerned, that her sister inherited their mother’s transformation magic which was much easier to learn and deal with, and quite frankly a lot more fun.  Imagine being able to turn into any person or animal you wanted to, even grow wings to fly away, ‘far away from here.’  Last Isla had overheard, her older sister was aiming for a career in law enforcement just like their father, ‘such a kiss ass!’            

She notices a pair of boys creating and throwing snowballs at each other, hitting a girl on accident who retaliates by sending a stream of water to drench them.  One of her friend’s waves as he flies through the quad with leathery wings kicking up some dust and pollen.  Ugh, it was making her envious to see them having fun.  Isla checks her watch, 7 more minutes of lunch, two more classes and it was back to her one sanctum in this world where she could hideaway in solitude.  

Three hours later, the bell rings signaling the end of classes for the day. Isla packs up and heads straight for home without speaking to anyone she passes, simply intent on holing up in her bedroom for the rest of the night.  She hears her name called out from behind as she steps through the front door of the school, but there’s no turning back today, not today.

Sage can see his friend at the front of a throng of students rushing for the exit.  He calls out a couple of times, but Isla never turns around. A slight frown mars his face, could she not hear him?  Not a remarkable notion when you consider the volume of chatter in that narrowed hallway. But ever since they had parted ways outside of Elemental Studies, he could tell that Isla was hiding something and now this only fueled his assumption that something was truly upsetting her.  

“Oi!  Tatsuo!”

He turns to see one of his buddies ambling towards him, “Whoa whassup Ande!” clapping his friend’s hand with an exaggerated handshake and quick shoulder bump type hug, “Where the hell were you last night, I thought you was gonna stop by my house?”

“That damn test was hell to study for, but I bet you breezed through it, last year.”

“Even more reason you should’a dropped by, idiot I could’a helped ya.”  

“Eh,” Ande shrugs his shoulders, “I passed with a C.” The two boys head out along the side walk towards the parking lot and their cars.  “You got plans or just going home?”

“I do, was gonna swing by and check on Isla ‘cause she seemed upset earlier.”

“Probably did bad on that test, she looked miserable when we got it back from the witch.”

“That’s what I thought too but I think it’s something else.”

“Oh.”  Stopping at his car, Ande throws his bag on the backseat then turns again to his friend. “By the way…  so, I’ve been meaning to ask,” peering around to see if anyone was nearby, he lowers his voice, “what’s the deal with you two?”

Shifting his stance, Sage’s eyes narrow and he crosses his arms in a defensive posture, “What do you mean?”

“Pfft,” rolling his eyes, the mocha colored hues flashing in amusement, “don’t give me that look.  I know you like her, so what, you gonna stay in the friend zone forever or make a move any time soon?”

Sage sighs, “It’s…  complicated okay?  I just… She’s always been, like, shy about this stuff, so I don’t wanna push anything with her unless she’s ready for it.”

Andesine laughs and shuts his door, “I don’t know why you fuss over that one, especially after what you went through with Midori, so good luck man.”

“Midori wasn’t that bad, I just wasn’t as into her as she was of me.” Exhale,“But yeah, thanks anyways.”

The pair share another friendly handshake.  “Catch ya tomorrow.”

“See ya Ande.”  Tipping two fingers at his buddy before walking towards his own car.

It was only a few blocks from the school to her house, quicker with a few shortcuts so within 20 minutes she had made it, and even more pleased to see no one was home.  Isla looks at her phone, 3:27pm, that meant her parents wouldn’t be home for at least a couple more hours.  ‘Perfect!’  First order of business was to throw on some mind-numbing music and second, her version of therapy…

When he pulls alongside the curb fronting Isla’s house, it wasn’t immediately apparent if his friend was home, but he parks anyway and takes the chance. With his long legs, Sage traverses the short footpath to the porch in just a few strides and ascends the two-step staircase.  “Isla?” knocking at the door and trying the handle.  After finding it unlocked, Sage opens it and sticks his head through. “Isla are you home?”

He can hear music coming from the direction of her room but other than that, the house was quiet, no movement or sound, letting him know she was the only person home.  Well, he’d come this far, so he makes his way down the hallway.  Louder and louder the angsty blends of grunge alternative intensifies the closer he gets to her room, blaring sounds of metal music thumping against the walls.  

Sage knocks at her door.

The razor blade is poised for the second slash when she hears someone knocking at her bedroom.  Panic grips the young girl, who the hell was in her house!  It couldn’t be her parents and her sister weren’t due for a visit anytime soon.  Didn’t she lock the front door?  ‘Oh crap!’ In her rush to numb her mind had she forgotten to lock the damn door?

“Isla?  It’s me Sage.”

What was Sage doing there!  Isla rushes around her room, clicking off the radio, throwing things into the closet, the dresser, shoving stuff under her bed until a sharp sting hits her.  She looks down at her wrist as fresh little ruby beads break through the cut she had made a few minutes ago.  It was beckoning, almost calling to her to remember the freeing sensation it conveyed, such a dark reddish hue against the paleness of her milky skin tone charming her…  

“Isla?  I can hear you moving around.  Can I come in?”

‘Damn it!’ Sage, she had forgotten about him being there!  In a panic, Isla looks around for her first aid kit.  “It’s kind of a mess, could you, um, give me a couple more minutes to clean up?”        

Sage chuckles, “I’ve seen your version of a mess, come on Isla…”

She fumbles with a bandage and gauze trying to wrap the cut and pull her gloves back on as quickly as possible. “Just give me a few minutes please!!”

He stops cold, lips twitching into a frown.  That was a harsher reaction than was warranted, even from her.  “Isla, what’s going on?”

“No…tsss. Oww, fuck!”  

“Isla… what was that?”  He tries the knob, but it was locked.  “Are you hurt!”  Banging louder on the door, “Isla, if you don’t open this door I swear I’ll break it down!”

“I’m fine Sage…  Shit!”

Hearing the second cringe and that was it for him. He slams his shoulder into the door once, but it doesn’t budge.

“Sage are you crazy!!”

“Last chance Isla unlock it, or I break the door down. You know I could crack the metal hinges easily!”

“My parents will kill me if you do that!”

“Then I suggest you open it cause I ain’t leaving! Now, I’m counting to 3,” pause, “1…  2…”

Click.

Sage opens the door and finds Isla sitting on the edge of her bed.  There are drying tears along her cheeks but looking her up and down, he couldn’t see what the cause of the pain noises could have been from.  He hurries over and kneels in front of her, “Isla what’s wrong?”

“I told you, I’m fine, just, stubbed my toe on the bed.”

He glances down and see’s boots still on her feet, then back to her with a raised eyebrow.  She’s obviously lying to him and when he notices her favoring one of her hands, he grabs her by the wrist to check it himself.  “Oww!” Isla squeals, yanking back her arm and cradling the wrist against her chest.  A new wave of tears flowing freely as the stinging pain radiates outward from the fresh cut.  

Now he’s livid and grabs her arm again from a higher point forcing the glove off.  “A bandage?” Looking back at her face, his crimson red eyes flashing in anger, “did you cut yourself?”  Isla refuses to meet his stare and shakes her head with exaggeration. Grasping her by both arms, “Isla please tell me, did you hurt yourself?”  Again, she shakes her head vigorously, no.  “Don’t lie to me!  What did you use, a razor blade?  Where is it!!”  Her eyes widen, frightened by the fury he was displaying.  She hesitates but based on the seriousness in his tone, pulls it out of her pocket to avoid being searched by force.  Sage snatches the small cutter from her outstretched palm and using his metal manipulation magic, turns it into a useless quarter sized lump.  “No more of that.”

Sage rises to his feet.  If she had failed the Elemental test, that was something he could handle.  Parents just being on her case, nothing new to him. But a friend self-harming themselves, he had no idea how to react, and as he contemplates what to do, Isla sinks onto the edge of the bed with her head hung.  There was no way she could look at him now.  Why of all people to find this out about her than her crush? Could things get any worse?  Oh, how she wanted to run the razor over her arm and let the physical pain counter the mental anguish called her life.  

He walks away to stare out of the window, bracing against the frame.  It was like having his heart ripped from his chest to see his friend in so much distress, that she had felt so alone that hurting herself had become the only recourse.  His mind berates himself for not seeing the signs, for surely there had to have been some indications that Isla had been depressed.  But as he racks his brain, trying desperately to find something, nothing special was standing out.  Yes, in hind sight she had been a bit more detached, but since she had always been a reserved person it wasn’t such a noticeable difference.    

With his back turned, Isla squeezes the bandaged wrist.  If she couldn’t cut herself to bring on the pain, she could still get it another way.  Her eyes roll back as the stinging sensation floods her consciousness and dulls the droning voices screaming in her head.  Slowly she increases the pressure of her grip, sending new waves of euphoria against her ravaged mind, it felt utterly amazing to lose herself in its swells...

“Isla No!”  Suddenly, she is ripped away from her thoughts when Sage grabs her hand to stop her personal assault.  “Are you f’ing kidding me!”  

“You don’t understand!  It makes me feel better Sage!  I’ve been so depressed over everything lately and it takes that away, it stops the voices that plague my every waking moment.”  Isla stands up and paces next to the bed.  “I hate that I have this stupid magic, my parents are always comparing me to my sister, and now that friggen class is going to drive my GPA even lower!  Even the guy I like doesn’t see me.”  Flailing her arms in the air, “nothing is going right in my life, nothing!”

“Wait, what guy?”

“Huh,” Isla stops her ranting, whipping around, “what guy?”

“Yeah, you said the guy you like doesn’t see you, who are you talking about?”

“I never said anything about a…”  she pauses from the realization, ‘oh, snap, I did, didn’t I!’  Waving her hands adamantly to wipe the slate clean, “forget you heard that part,” she resumes pulling the first aid kit back out to fix her bandage like nothing strange had just happened.  “Look, Sage, please don’t tell anyone about this.  I don’t need any more people thinking I’m a bigger weirdo or loser.”

With nothing more than his own smarts and affection to guide him, Sage, leads her back to the bed and prompts her to sit down next to him.  “Isla, I’m sorry you hate having magic, it bugs me too sometimes, but I think it makes us unique, you know, special.  With your parents, they love you, you know they do, but…  maybe they just don’t realize that some of their comments makes you feel this bad.  And, don’t worry about class, okay,” holding her hand, sweeping his thumb over the silky skin, “I’ll help you with that, together you’ll get through it.  But, why are you deflecting my question?  Isla tell me who is this guy you like since it’s bothering you so much.”

“I…” looking away, “I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not, is it someone you know I’ll hate?”

“No…  He’s actuallya really great guy…”

“Do I know him?”

“Well, yeah probably better than anyone else…”

Running his free hand over his face, “Pleasedon’t tell me it’s Andesine.”

Her head whips around to look at him, “What!  Eww, no way, he’s not my type, plus his mom scares the hell out of me.”

“Then who is it?”

Isla looks down again, “I’m too embarrassed to tell you.”

Sage is torn, he doesn’t want to push too hard, concerned that doing so would drive her back to hurting herself when it seemed like he was making progress.  But he was also curious, jealouslycurious to know who his rival might be.  He sighs, noting the slight tinge of pink dusting her cheeks, and the increased warmth of her palms.  Whomever her heart belonged to was bringing out an adorable reaction from Isla and if that wasn’t just tearing his own apart.

“You know…” squeezing her hand as moisture clouds his vision, “I wish you had come to me about all of this…  We used to tell each other everything,” speaking softly with gentle underpinnings of a bruised spirit.  “Isla I’ll always be here for you… no matter what.”

She can’t bring herself to look directly at his face, but her eyes flit upward briefly, gazing through plumed lashes and noting the concern his eyes are sporting.  “I know…” a glowing flush to her skin only amplified by the darkening and spreading splotches along her chest.  “I know you are.”  At least deep down she did.

In that moment, the tough girl persona had dissolved into the Isla he knew was buried beneath the surface.  For all her flaws, she was beautiful to him inside and out, a rough diamond simply waiting to be cut and polished.  But the longer Sage soaks in her image, the more he realizes just how much he cared about the petite blonde with the dyed red hair.      

“Okay, Isla I won’t push if you don’t want to tell me. But, well…  I have a crush on someone too.”

Isla’s whole body stiffens.  Things were progressing so well, she was actually starting to feel better but with that one statement, all of those airier feelings flew right out the window as her heart sinks and all the color drains away from her face.  Of all the times for Sage to bring this up!  

She squeezes her eyes shut, barely breathing out the question, “I-Is it Nashi?”

“Nashi?” a strong rebuke in his tone, “no, it’s not her?”

“Then who is it?”  Her mind is spiraling, ‘Geez Sage just put me out of my misery already…’

“It’s you,” tilting her face up and smiling when her eyes pop open with genuine shock registering on her face.  “Isla, it’s you.”

“Me?” She blinks, his words still not sinking in.

“Yes, you.  Now will you tell me who you like?”

Isla pauses for a few seconds.  “I-I like you too Sage.”

Sage let’s out the air he didn’t realize he was holding. “Wow it’s a good thing we like each other.”  Chuckling, “cause, it’d be pretty awkward if you had said someone else.”

“But, I don’t understand…” Isla turns her head away, “why would you want to like someone like me?  I’m not pretty like your last girlfriend, and I-I mean you, well, you’re popular, and really smart, but me I’m just…” longexhale, “just a total mess.”

“You’re not a mess.  You have some issues but to me you are much prettier than Midori, and sweeter,” chuckling, “I can conduct your electricity so, I’d say we make a good match.” Caressing her cheek, “and you’re not dumb just because you struggle in science, your language and grammar skills are way better than mine.”  

Her eyes fill with moisture, “you really think so?” Sage nods his head in response.

The stirring of emotions swirling in her mind was becoming overwhelming, so she closes her eyes, drifting away to process it all.  Sage had caught her in one of her lowest moments and yet he hadn’t run but stayed to comfort her just like he had always done throughout their life. From scrapes and bruises in primary school, to fights with her sister.  Late night chats about anything or nothing.  He’d always been her best friend.  So, why had she fallen so far down the rabbit hole?  A part of her felt he deserved better, someone who didn’t seem to have so much baggage weighing them down.    

But could she break the cycle or had the slope become too slippery to climb back up from?  Isla wanted to believe everything he was saying, her heart wanted to take a sledgehammer to the wall that had been built up, but it was her mind that held back. All the what if’s plaguing it, would he hurt her in the end?  To lose not just a boyfriend, a first crush, but a best friend, could her heart take that kind of pain?  Like a drug dealer fueling its customer, the throbbing of her healing wrist harkened to her and she absentmindedly begins to rub at it.      

Sage frowns as he watches her slowly revert inwards again. “Isla?”

“Hmm?” she opens her eyes and looks at him.

“Why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?”  He points to her wrist and that’s when she realizes what she had started doing again.  “Sorry,” Isla stops rubbing her wrist, “I guess it’s become a habit.”

“Please, promise me you’ll stop hurting yourself. You mean too much to me to lose you now.”  

She blinks, this sappier side of Sage was new to her. “I…”  Taking a deep breath, could she really get better?  After a brief pause and another long exhale, she nods, “Okay, I promise Sage.”

A companionable silence falls between the pair, Isla feeling a little better about her circumstances, and he holding-out hope that she would keep her promise.  But it was a little awkward for her too, being so close and not knowing what to do next. Sage has had a girlfriend before, but Isla’s never had a boyfriend.                

She fiddles with her fingers, “Sage, um,” tucking some loose strands behind her ear, “what are we?  I mean, are we like a couple now?”

“Do you want to be?  I just didn’t want to make you feel like we had to be one if you weren’t ready yet.”

“I guess it would be okay, I mean, I’m okay with it if you’re okay with it.”

“Isla,” he cradles her cheek, sweeping his thumb over the skin, “I would love to finally call you my girlfriend.  Hmm, in fact,” Sage reaches over and picks up the former razor from where he’d dropped it, “maybe this will help.”  Using his magic, he splits the lump into two portions, manipulating their forms into new pieces.  “How about a promise ring,” slipping one onto her finger before placing the second ring on his.  “Now everyone will know we’re taken, and it’ll remind us of our promises to one another.”

“Sage…” moisture quickening at her corners and her baby blue eyes brightening, “I-I don’t even know what to say, it’s,” toying with the simple gray band, she exhales and smiles wide, “this does make me feel a lot happier.”