#mingyu request

It took you another week to muster up the courage to even open Wonwoo’s contact information in your phone.  You knew there was no way you could call Mingyu directly.  It gave you too many ways to back out of doing it face to face.  

You brought your shaking hand up to your ear, heart beating faster every time the ringing came through the phone.

You were getting ready to hang up when you heard Wonwoo’s surprised voice come on the line.

“Y/n?” he asked, thinking he had read it wrong.

“Yeah, it’s me.” you said, voice barely above a whisper.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked, voice frantic.

“I’m fine Wonnie.” you said, quickly falling back into the nickname you’d used for him.  It wasn’t intentional, you were just feeling over emotional being on the phone with him again.

“I haven’t heard you say that in a long time.  I’m sorry I’m so surprised, I honestly never expected to hear from you again.” he admitted.

“I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“About what?”

“Everything. The whole situation with Mingyu. What you said to me last month in the park.  I wanted to let it all go, to forget I even met with you.  But I can’t.  Your words about him being miserable ring in my ears all day.”

“I’m so sorry Y/n. I never should have said anything.  I didn’t take you into consideration.  I was so focused on Mingyu that I didn’t even think of how my appearance would affect you. I didn’t think about how hearing about him would affect you, I was just thinking about him.  I’ve been beating myself up about it since the second you walked away from me at the park.”

“It’s not your fault.  You were just being a good friend.” you said, not wanting him to harbor unnecessary guilt.

“Good friend to him, maybe. But I was being a terrible friend you to.  I know you may not believe me, but I really do love you as much as I do Mingyu. I’ve missed you so much over the last four months and I have regretted everyday that has passed that I never contacted you.  I knew you were alone, and I still never contacted you.”

You couldn’t help the tears that fell.  You were so convinced in your mind that you were the only miserable one.  But now you knew that not only the love of your life was miserable, but your best friend was as well.  Your resolve to go see Mingyu only solidified in that moment.

“I was calling because if your offer still stands, I’d like to talk to Mingyu.”

“Are you sure?” Wonwoo asked you, not wanting to put yourself through anymore pain.

“I’m sure. This is not only for him, but for me as well. I want to do it face to face. Is he going to be at the dorm today?” you asked.

“Uh, yeah. He’s here now. A lot of the guys are out so it’s just me, him, and Seokmin.  But are you sure?” he asked.

“I’m already leaving my apartment.  Just do me a favor. When I get there, make sure he answers the door.” you said.

“Why?”

“It doesn’t give me the chance to run away.”

You sat in your car in front of their building for a while.  You were reminding yourself that this was the next part of healing your heart.  

You took your time walking into the apartment building, opting to take the stairs instead of the elevator.  Part of your body fought every step of the way, but you forced yourself to continue.

When you got up to the door, you rang the bell instantly, not wanting to waste another second.

You could hear Mingyu grumbling on the other side about not wanting to answer the door.  You almost smiled.

The door swung open lightly and you came face to face with a tired Mingyu.  His face looked pale and thin, and his hair was completely disheveled.

“Oh Mingyu, what are you doing?” you said sadly.

“Y/n?” he looked at you almost as if he didn’t believe that you were really in front of him.

“Can I come in?” you asked.

Mingyu just stared at you for another second before seeming to realize his surroundings.  He tried to smooth down his wild hair, to no use, before inviting you in.

“What -- uh what are you doing here?” he asked.

“I came to see you, if that’s okay.  Can we talk for a minute?” you asked.

“Um, sure.  Let’s go into the living room.”

Your heart jumped at being this close to him, but also broke at the same time.  You weren’t sure what would come from this impromptu meeting, but you were going to see it through to the end.

“Do you want a drink or anything?” he asked as he walked around the living room picking things up.

“Mingyu, it’s fine. Please stop.” you hated seeing him so unnerved.

“Sorry. I just...don’t know what to say or how to feel right now.” he admitted.

“I’ll start then, yeah?”

“Okay.” he said, taking a seat across from you on the floor.

“Wonwoo came to see me a few weeks ago.” you started.

“I know. I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I was mad at him in the moment, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since then.”

“Thinking about what?”

“Everything. Me, you, us, the whole situation.  I hated hearing that you were miserable.  I was mad at first.  What gave you the right to be miserable? You were the one that left me.” Before you could finish your thought, you saw Mingyu duck his head, regret evident on his face.

“But the more I thought about it I realized that no matter the reason for you leaving, you still had the right to be miserable.  We’d been together for a long time and I was too busy wallowing in my own pain and anger towards you to think about that.”

You took a deep breath before continuing.

“I came to see you for not only your sake, but for mine.  It’s like my heart is made of pure steel, it’s just so heavy all the time.” you admitted.

“I’m sorry.” you heard him mutter.

“I know you are.  I’ve known you long enough to know how sorry you are.  But you don’t have to be.” you said.

Mingyu shot his head up and looked straight into your eyes.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“It means you don’t have to be sorry for how you feel.  If you don’t love me anymore, that’s not something to be sorry for.  Things like that happen sometimes.  I can’t blame you for staying in a relationship you didn’t want to be in anymore.  I had a lot of time to think and once I looked past my own anguish, I saw yours.  You must have felt so conflicted staying with me.  I’m sorry I made it harder for you.”

“You think I don’t love you anymore?” he asked.

“That’s the conclusion that I came to, yes. Nothing else added up.  We were doing fine. Great even. And it just abruptly ended.  You didn’t call again, didn’t bring me my stuff yourself. I could only guess it was because you had no desire to see me anymore.”

“That’s not it at all.” he said.

“It’s not?”

“Not at all. I was ashamed to see you again. After the way I’d ended things, I was ashamed with myself. But I also started realizing something as soon as I’d done it.”

You shouldn’t ask.  Things were not going at all the way you pictured them going, and you didn’t know if you were ready to hear the words he had to say.

But he said them anyway.

“I lost a piece of me in you.  I think I left it in your arms.  I’ll never forget the reason I got scared, but just know it definitely wasn’t because I don’t love you.”

You wanted to run away.  This was so much harder now.  You’d resigned yourself to believing that he didn’t love you anymore.  That was somehow easier to handle than knowing he still loved you, even when he left you.

“I felt horrible.  You were home alone all the time while I was out on tour, and doing showcases. I kept seeing pictures of you on your social media with your friends and their partners and you were always alone.  It started eating at me. I figured...I figured if I left you, it’d give you the chance to have a normal relationship with someone that didn’t have to leave you for months at a time.  To be with someone that had a normal 9-5 job and could spend nights, weekends, birthdays, and holidays with you.  It had nothing to do with me not loving you, or loving you less.  It was me trying to give you the life you deserve.  You deserve so much more than I can give you when I only see you a handful of times a month.”

“Stop. Please stop.” you all but begged him.

“I’m sorry, but you deserve the truth. And the truth is I still love you with every fiber of my being. I’ve never loved anything, or anyone as much as I love you.”

He wasn’t using past tense; he was confessing that he still loved you.  You didn’t know what to think, or how to feel.

“Excuse me for a minute.” you said abruptly, taking off for Wonwoo’s room.

You walked in and saw him lying on his bed.  He jumped up when he saw you.

“Hey, how’d it go?” he asked.

You started pacing around his room.

“Uh not freaking well!” you exclaimed, throwing your hands up.

“I’m sorry. I never should have asked you to see him.”

“He still loves me.” you shouted.

Wonwoo didn’t say anything, just cocked his head as he watched you process everything.

“I had convinced myself that he left me because he didn’t love me anymore. I was so sure.  And now he just told me that he’s still in love with me. And I don’t know what to do, and I’m freaking out.”

The door to Wonwoo’s door opened and Seokmin stuck his head in.

“Everything alright? I heard yelling.” he asked Wonwoo.

“Now’s not a good time Yummie, I’m having an existential crisis!” you said.

Seokmin hadn’t even seen you in the room.

“Y/n!!” he yelled, coming to hug you.

“Hi, it’s good to see you, I love you, but can you please leave so I can finish having a mental breakdown?”

“Uh, sure.” he said, not quite understanding the situation.

“Come find me before you leave?” he asked.

You just nodded your head, going back to your pacing as he left the room.

“Can I ask why you’re freaking out?” Wonwoo asked.

“Because this is totally different. I came here for the both of us to get closure on our relationship. I wanted him to know that I don’t blame him for falling out of love with me. Does it hurt? Yes. Do I blame him? No. BUT THIS! This is totally different. All I can think about is running into his arms and pretending the last three months didn’t exist. He says he did it for me, but I don’t want this. I don’t to live life without him. Or you. I feel like everything can work out, and honestly that scares me too.”

“You don’t have to live your life without me. I fucked up, but I still want to be your best friend.” Wonwoo said earnestly.

“I do too. More than you know. I’ve been so lonely, and I’ve missed you guys so much. But can I do this? Can I just let go of the pain I’ve held the last three months?”

“No.” Wonwoo said.

“You’re right. Of course you’re right.” You felt utterly defeated.

“You misunderstand.  You can’t just let go of the pain.  But that doesn’t mean that you and Mingyu can’t work through it together.  I’m not one to believe in destiny or fate, but I believe that the two of you are meant to be together.  He’s just not the same without you.  He’s a shell of the man he used to be. You’re the one that makes him who he is, and without you...Well, he’s not Mingyu.”

“Wonnie…I’m scared.” you admitted.

“I know you are.  But I think you’re talking to the wrong person now.  It seems as though you’ve worked through your feelings, and now it’s time to talk to him. There’s only so much as your friend that I can do.” he said.

You knew he was right.  Your mind had been made up, and if Mingyu wanted to work through this, you were more than ready to accept.

You gave Wonwoo one last smile before walking back out into the living room.

“Mingyu.” you said to get his attention.

He looked up at you.  You weren’t sure what you saw in his eyes.

Hope? Fear? Love?

“I’m sorry I ran away.” you said, walking closer to him.  You watched him get up off the chair and walk towards you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stop talking. I just didn’t want you to think that I don’t love you.” he said.

The two of you walked closer together, meeting in the middle of the living room.

“Do you love me enough to work it out with me?” you asked, grabbing for one of his hands.

“I love you enough to let you go if I’ve hurt you more than you can forgive.” he said, gripping your hand tightly.

“I forgive you.  It will take some time for all the wounds to heal. But I want them to heal. I want to heal them with you.”

You saw the emotion clear on Mingyu’s face.  His eyes were glossy with unshed tears.  But his face already looked a little brighter, a little happier.

You felt his hand leave yours. But almost instantly he had put it on your back and enveloped you in a warm, familiar embrace.

It wasn’t as if the last three months hadn’t happened.  But you knew you and Mingyu could work through the pain and become stronger because of it.  In his arms is where everything made sense to you. In his life is where you wanted to be.  Not only were you getting your love back, but the friendships you’d built along the way.  The trust hadn’t been broken completely, so with time, and patience, you were certain life would be better than it had been before.

And today was no different. He text you earlier and asked ifyou would meet him for coffee and to take a stroll in the city. Of course youagreed to go only because you got to be around him. So, here you are with Mingyuat the local coffee shop sitting outside in the patio. Bored, you scrolledthrough your phone on your various social networking apps. You didn’t feel likewatching him check out girls and you could almost swear he was talking to youbut you weren’t listening.

“[Y/N]-ah! Are you paying any attention to me?” the maleacross from you said.  You hummed in responsebut received a kick from him from under the table “yah, look at that girlsitting in the shop”

You turned your head to look in the direction he waspointing at and saw the girl. She was indeed very cute and what looked to besingle. You looked at Mingyu with a mildly annoyed expression and finallyspoke;

“You want me to go talk to her friend while you talk to thatgirl huh?” His eyes seemed to light up which only received a light chucklefollowed by a sigh from you. You both got up and made your way back into theshop.

One of the things that you hated was if the girl he wantedto talk to was with her friend you had to make up something you weren’t interestedin to talk to her about. So you basically had to sit and cringe over Mingyus greasiness. This time was no different.

“Hey” he said as he sat next to her “How was Heaven when you left it?”. You werepretty much done with being his wingman by now. It killed you too much tolisten to him do this and to hear her giggle. Boy did his pick-up lines makeyou cringe on the outside. But, on the inside, you always wanted him to try oneof his pick-up lines on you.

You managed to sit through ten agonizing minutes of his flirtingand her friends rambling. When you both left, he would not stop talking aboutthe date he had later with this girl. You turned to your best friend andsighed. That managed to catch his attention.

“What’s wrong [Y/N]-ah?”

“Nothing,” you lied “I’m just tried and I don’t feel well soI’m going to head back to my place okay?” You knew he cared about you just notin the way you wanted him to.

“Okay but-“. He started but was cut short by a quick ‘illtext you later’ and a goodbye from you.

After you ended your bonding time with Mingyu, you headedhome to do nothing. He texted you later that night pictures of outfits hewanted to wear and asked for your advice. You didn’t reply to any of hismessages. You decided you were going to avoid him and hope he would pick up onwhy you were upset. You were too embarrassed and stubborn to admit to him you werejealous.

You managed to avoid him for longer then you thought but youknew he picked up on something being wrong. Mingyu would always text and callyou but you never answered. He even went to your house a few times in hopes youwould be there, which you were but you just didn’t answer. Finally, one day,you needed someone to talk to. You called Seungkwan asking if he would lend anear and if Mingyu would be out of the house.

“So he’s out of the house?” you asked him.

“Yup! Since you dumped him as his wingman, he now dragsWonwoo around”. You heard him laugh through the phone. You rolled your eyes andtold him you’d be over in a few.

When you got to the boys dorm, you were greeted by the othermembers. You didn’t say much but you managed to give them a smile as you walkedpast them to Seungkwans room. Before you could knock, he swung the door open adgrinned at you. Something was off with the way he smiled at you; it was like heknew something you didn’t. He grabbed your hand and pulled you into his room.

“I know just how to make you feel better” he started andpointed to something on his bed. He moved out of the way for you to see. On hisbed was a dress; along with that dress was a pair of heels and accessories.

“What is th-“

“I have a date set up for you at eight, [Y/N]. Its sevenfifteen so I suggest you get dressed and let me fix you up or you’ll be late”he said as he threw the dress at you. You wanted to object but you went alongwith his plan anyways. You honestly just wanted to talk to Seungkwan and not goon a date but, you figured maybe this would cheer you up.

For the next thirty minutes, Seungkwan was all over you;doing your hair, your makeup… everything.  You had no clue how he got any of the thingshe did or the skills to do all of what he did. Regardless, you were shocked athow you turned out. Not that you didn’t try to look pretty on a daily bases butnot to this extreme.

“And there. All done!” he said as he finished the look witha candy scented perfume.

“How did you-“. You were cut off by him dragging you out ofhis room. He drug you outside to your car and pulled out a slip of paper. When hehanded it to you he said it was the directions to the place your date was at. Afteryou got in you bid Seungkwan a farewell and left. All of this was happening sofast you really couldn’t process it.

When you got to the area you were amazed at where it was; itwas probably the most fancy and expensive restaurant in town. How am I going to afford this? You askedyourself, getting out of your car. You started to make your way up to the restaurantentrance when a familiar face caught your attention.

“Mingyu?” you said, hoping he wouldn’t hear it. You werestill mad at him and had no intention on seeing him. Quickly, you turned aroundand started to make your way back to your car. You wanted to call Seungkwan andcomplain to him about this. To your dismay, though, he heard you loud andclear.

“[y-y/n]! Wait!” he called after you. He got up from thebench and ran towards you. He grabbed your arm and spun you around. Taken abackby how you looked, he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

“Where’s your date this time? Or did you actually get stoodup for once?” you jabbed as you took your arm from him and crossed them.

“Gosh you’re pretty-“he started “i-I mean you’re my date” helocked his eyes with yours.

No he didn’t youthought. You didn’t know to be mad at Seungkwan for setting this up or to behappy he did. The only thing you could do was stare at the tall male before you.Mingyu grabbed your hand with a sigh, which brought you out of your thoughts.

“I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feelbetter to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?” he said,with a smile slowly forming on his face. You blushed at his sudden words andsmiled shyly. Seeing your smile only encouraged him to go on;

“Becauseof you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more. And why is that? You know me betterthan anyone else and you should know that I love you more than anyone else too[Y/N]”

You smiled at him. How could you honestly stay mad at him,he was your best friend and love. “I don’t know what else to say other than I loveyou too Mingyu”

Before you knew it you were pulled into a tight bear hug byhim. He swung you side to side slightly, happy that you were finally not mad athim anymore. When he let go of you, he started to walk towards the restaurantwith you.

“For once you didn’t use a greasy pick-up line to tell agirl you like her” you commented with a laugh.

He laughed along with you but stopped short to ask yousomething; “I thought happiness start with an H?”

“It does?” you stated, confused at his question.